Sexual Healing
by wmrcaz
Summary: Man-whore Edward Cullen is forced into seeing a therapist by his father. When he sees psychologist Dr. Isabella Swan, sparks will fly. What will happen when the only woman Edward's ever really wanted is the one he can't have? AH. M for lemons and language
1. Road to Hell

**A/N: Welcome to Sexual Healing! This story is a collaboration between caz12771 and wmr1601. The first three chapters were written together, but starting with Chapter 4, wmr1601 will be doing the BPOV's and caz12771 will be doing the EPOV's. When the story warrants, we will post links to pertinent things on our joint profile, so make sure to check that out. In the meantime, though, enjoy the first chapter :).**

Chapter 1: Road to Hell  
EPOV

"Damn it!" I groaned, smacking my fist against the steering wheel. "Fucking traffic." I pulled the Volvo to a stop behind the long line of cars, drumming my fingers impatiently on the dash. I sighed as I looked at my watch. I was going to be late again, not that I actually gave a shit about that. If I had really cared about being on time, I would have left Forks earlier than I did, knowing how long the drive to Seattle would take and that traffic was always a bitch this time on a Friday morning. But that would have meant cutting my morning shower short and _that _was just fucking unthinkable. The fact that I had spent twice as long in the bathroom this morning than usual didn't escape me but that had also been necessary. No, it had been absolutely fucking essential, considering where I was going.

My weekly appointment with Dr. Isabella Swan always brought with it its own particular brand of tension. Tension that I had had to relieve twice this morning before I could even consider leaving my parents' house. A fresh wave of resentment and frustration swept through me at the thought of my visit to the shrink's office. Resentment at my father for making me see a friggin' shrink in the first place and frustration that I hadn't been able to charm the good doctor into giving me a clean bill of health yet. At first I had thought it would be easy to convince Dr. Swan that I didn't have a problem. She was a woman, after all, how difficult could it be? A couple of flashes of my patented panty-dropping smirk, a few suggestive raises of the eyebrows and a drop of the infamous Cullen charm and she would be putty in my hands. How fucking wrong I had been. I, Edward Cullen, had come across the first woman who seemed to be immune to my considerable charms. For six weeks I had given it my all but I was no closer to bedding Isabella Swan now than I had been the first day I walked into her office. The thought that I may actually have to start taking therapy seriously and play along crossed my mind. "Fuck that," I chuckled to myself. I would succeed in my mission to seduce the good doctor and fuck her into oblivion and then, when I had her just where I wanted her all this bullshit would be over. She would finally declare that I didn't have a problem and Carlisle would be forced to release my trust fund. It was that friggin' simple. There was not a chance in hell that I would play along; I didn't have a fucking sex addiction and there was no way I would pretend for even a second that I did. Besides that, Dr. Swan had become a challenge, one that I just couldn't walk away from. For the first time since puberty I'd found a woman who didn't fall over with her legs in the air eager for a drop of the "Cullen magic" and that made me want her more than any woman I had ever met.

The effect this woman was having on me was getting figgin' ridiculous. Just this morning I had beaten off like a freakin' madman to thoughts of her plump pink lips wrapped around my cock. Only to have my cock spring to life rock hard again five minutes later at the memory of staring into her deep chocolate eyes while she tried to work me out. Yep, Isabella Swan turned me on like no woman ever had and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Sure, she was attractive-no, she was fucking beautiful, all plump pink lips, creamy white skin and lush brown curls-but that still didn't explain why I couldn't get her out of my fucking mind. I'd had plenty of beautiful women in the past; hell I had even turned down a few in my time too. So it wasn't just that she was beautiful that had my cock leaping to attention at the merest thought of her. _No, it's much more than that. I suspect that Isabella Swan actually interests me._ I just didn't have a fucking clue why exactly that was. She was so different from the mindless bimbos I usually encountered who bored the shit out of me the minute they opened their mouths. The doc was polls apart from those tramps. She was beautiful, intelligent, feisty as fuck and had an air of innocence about her that made her as sexy as hell. I just knew that underneath that professional good girl exterior lurked a sexual tigress waiting to be unleashed and I was hell bent on releasing her. Fuck, I'd even pull her tail to see if she'd bite.

My eager and already rock hard cock twitched excitedly in my pants at the image of her teeth sinking into my flesh. "Calm down, Cullen," I mumbled, drawing in a deep breath trying to clear my head of visions of the doc in various erotic positions as I attempted to will my now painful erection into submission. I wondered briefly if I could take advantage of my Volvo's tinted windows and fix my not-so-little problem before this fucking traffic decided to move. Probably not, and knowing my luck, I'd get caught. Beating off in a traffic jam was probably not the best way to convince everyone that I wasn't a sex addict.

I let out a loud sigh as the traffic began to crawl along at a snail's pace. Why the fuck hadn't I left last night as I'd planned? I could have had a few extra hours sleep and made the short journey from my apartment to the doc's office in less than twenty minutes. Why? One word: Alice! If there was one woman on the face of the earth who could twist me around her little finger it was my little sister. As soon as she had pulled her little lips into a pout and fixed me with those puppy dog eyes I was a goner. The evil little pixie had talked me into staying the night at my parents' after their anniversary dinner despite my better judgement. So instead of a nice relaxing lie in I had got up at the butt crack of dawn and made the fuck long drive back to Seattle. I groaned in frustration and blasted my horn. I fucking _hated _being stuck in traffic. Not being the most patient person in the world didn't help matters and the fact that this was screwing with my plan of seducing the doc was really pissing me off. For the first time ever, I had actually considered being on time for my appointment instead of pissing the doc off by being late as per usual. Getting into the doc's good books was my first task if I was ever going to charm her pants off. And at this precise moment in time, getting her pants off was the one thing I was absolutely determined to accomplish; judging by the state of my ever ready cock, the sooner the friggin' better.

The long line of vehicles in front of me gradually began to pick up speed. "Halle-fucking-lujah!" I exclaimed, glancing quickly at my watch. Maybe I wouldn't be so late after all. I drew in a deep breath and tried to focus on getting my aching cock to calm down. I was now only a few blocks from my destination and the last thing I wanted was to walk into the doc's office with my cock in its current condition. I imagined the look on my father's face when he learned from the good doctor that I'd turned up for my session sporting a boner further convincing him that his youngest son was indeed a pervert. The image of that "I told you so" look on Carlisle's face caused my cock to deflate faster than a punctured beach ball. Nothing could kill my erection quicker than picturing that smug look he got whenever he was proved right. He should have his face put on condom packets, guaranteeing that I never had sex again, thus curing me of my alleged addiction.

Sex addiction. What idiot came up with that bullshit anyway? It was complete and utter bollocks. Just because I screwed around a bit didn't mean I was a pervert who couldn't control my urges. Okay, so I'd screwed around more than a bit, a fucking _lot _if I was honest, but was that really a reason to insist I see a shrink? Apparently, yes it was, according to my father. Carlisle had always disapproved of my lifestyle but shit had really hit the fan when my mother had caught me fucking the caterer in the laundry room during one of her dinner parties. I can't say I blame him for being angry. Mom had been really upset, hell so had I, the last thing I ever wanted was to upset her. The thought that I was a disappointment to my mother hurt more than I cared to admit. She had always been my strongest supporter, defending me time and time again, even in the face of Carlisle's relentless criticism. She'd always been proud of me and never failed to show it in any way she could. Now she struggled to even look at me.

She had thrown me out of the house that night completely ashamed of me and appalled at my behavior. Carlisle had turned up at my apartment two days later to read me the riot act; and to make matters worse he had walked right in on me in a very compromising position with the nineteen-year-old twins from the apartment upstairs. I could have fucking strangled Alice for giving him her key. He went totally ballistic, raving at me like a lunatic before storming out declaring he was washing his hands of me completely and that he never wanted to see my face again. Well, that was perfectly fine with me as it meant I no longer had to live with his constant disapproval. Except I hadn't been that fucking lucky.

Less than a week later, he showed up with Alice in tow to inform me that he wouldn't be releasing my trust fund on my twenty fifth birthday next month unless I fulfilled certain... _conditions _of his. The main one being that I attend sessions-arranged by him-with a psychologist-slash-sex therapist that he knew in an attempt to get my "problem" under control. I had been so fucking angry at his insinuation that I was some kind of pervert that I had told him to go to hell. There was no way in hell I was going to be manipulated by him into seeing a shrink, trust fund or no trust fund. I didn't have a fucking problem; this was just another way for Carlisle to punish me for quitting medical school. As far as I was concerned he could go fuck himself; if he thought for one second that he could control my life he was sadly mistaken. I was _not _seeing a shrink. End of fucking subject.

Alice, on the other hand, wasn't about to take no for an answer. She'd pleaded and begged me to just consider doing what Carlisle wanted. She used every available weapon she had to convince me to comply with Carlisle's conditions. The little minx even used how upset Mom was over all of this and how she and Mom were stuck in the middle of mine and Carlisle's war. I had finally caved when she had begun to cry, blubbering about how she'd lost so many friends because of me. I finally realized that my behavior was hurting the two people I loved more than any others in this world and promised her I would do all I could to sort this mess with Carlisle out. If my agreeing to see a shrink would stop her from crying and make things easier for her and Mom, then I would go along with Carlisle's demands.

It wasn't until later that night that I'd realized that Carlisle had pulled a fast one. That sly son of a bitch had used Alice to do his dirty work for him. He knew as well as I did that I couldn't stand to see her upset and that I would do absolutely anything to stop her and Mom from hurting. He'd used her as back up in case blackmailing me with my trust fund wasn't enough to manipulate me into doing what he wanted. By the time it sunk in that the motherfucker had gotten exactly what he wanted and had played me like a pro it was too friggin' late. Telling him to go fuck himself was one thing; breaking a promise to my little sister and disappointing her and mom was something else entirely. Well, he might have won that battle, but there was no way in hell he was winning the war.

I had played along since then keeping my appointments with the doc letting him think he had gotten one over on me. When Dr. Swan finally succumbed to the "Cullen charm," which she undoubtedly would, I'd be free and clear to get on with my life without Carlisle breathing down my neck. Fucking her would be even sweeter knowing I'd played him at his own game and won. With that thought and a smile on my face, I finally turned the Volvo into the parking lot next to the building that housed her office.

After parking the Volvo and hurrying to the double doors at the front of the building I walked calmly into the lobby and headed for the elevator, flashing a quick smile at the young woman manning the desk as I passed. "Morning, Mr. Cullen," Jessica called, batting her eyelashes and smiling broadly in my direction. I pushed the button for the elevator and the doors opened I shot Jessica a quick wink over my shoulder as I stepped in causing her to blush and giggle like a school girl. _Too damn easy_, I chuckled to myself as the doors to the elevator slid shut. Hitting the button for the third floor I checked my watch. Ten minutes late; not too bad, better than the twenty minutes I'd been late last week. I turned and checked out my reflection in the mirror that took up the back wall of the elevator.

"Looking good, Cullen," I assured myself running a hand through my unruly bronze hair, giving it that sexy-messed-up look the ladies loved. I flashed myself my patented panty-dropping smirk before turning back to face the doors focusing on the task at hand-the imminent seduction of the beautiful Dr. Isabella Swan.

**Thank you for reading! We hope you've enjoyed the first chapter. **

**At this moment, we're not entirely sure of our posting schedule. We're trying to keep FF in line with Twilighted, so as you probably know, we don't have much control over that. So the best we can promise you right now is every two weeks. Just put us on story alerts, that way you'll be sure to know. **

**Until next time,**

**caz12771 & wmr1601**


	2. Waiting Game

**A/N: Welcome back. As before, we still don't own Twilight. However, we do own the plot of this story, so please no moving, translating, etc... without contacting us first (although we trust that you wouldn't anyway. You're all good people, right?). **

** Special thanks to all who have reviewed, alerted, or favorited this story. And thanks to our Twilighted beta, therunaway, for getting this chapter validated so quickly over there so that you all may read it early as well. As a rule, the "every two weeks" thing will be our posting schedule.**

**Chapter 2: Waiting Game**

_Bella_

At 9:50, I rose from the chair behind my desk and started pacing. I wondered if he'd be on time today. Probably not; he'd been late for each and every one of his scheduled sessions with me. Why should today be any different? I sighed heavily, wondering— for about the millionth time—why I'd ever agreed to take on Edward Cullen as a patient in the first place. He was infuriatingly cocky, arrogant, stubborn. And hot as hell.

I hated to admit it, but Edward Cullen was without a doubt the sexiest man I had ever met. He was painfully handsome with a chiseled jaw line and cheekbones that any movie star would be jealous of. If that wasn't enough, his flawless complexion, full pouty lips and beautiful, piercing green eyes made him absolutely gorgeous. But it wasn't just his good looks that made him hot, it was everything about him: his unruly mop of messy bronze hair, scruff covered jaw and long athletically muscular body just oozed sex. Heck, his hair could probably lead a full and active sex life all of its own and looked like it quite frequently did. Edward could probably have any woman he wanted and that cocky S.O.B knew it.

I strongly doubted that there was a woman alive who was immune to his charms, myself begrudgingly included. I could no longer deny the fact that I, Dr. Isabella Swan, was sexually attracted to Edward freakin' Cullen. And I bloody hated it. Just one flash of that stupid, sexy, lopsided smirk of his was all it took to send my body into overdrive and my mind into meltdown rendering me completely incapable of coherent thought. It was a struggle whenever I was in his company to stay focused and not allow myself to drift off into a fantasy involving Edwards mouth, my hands and that sexy mop of bronze hair. Hmmm Edwards hair... how I'd love to run my fingers...

"Damn it!" I groaned, continuing to pace up and down in front of my desk as I banished the unwanted thoughts of that man from my mind yet again.

Needing something to focus on, I moved back to my desk and picked up Edward's file. I scanned the notes I had made during our previous sessions, which took approximately thirty seconds. I groaned again in frustration; six weeks of sessions and all I had was half a page-most of which was information that had been provided by his father. I dropped the folder back on to my desk and moved over to the window. I glanced at the clock on the opposite wall then out of the window to the parking lot below. It was 9:55 and there was no sign of Edward's Volvo among the parked cars in the lot that serviced this building and the law firm next door. If he wasn't here by now there was no way he was going to be on time for his ten a.m. session. It would probably be another twenty minutes before he'd pull into that parking lot and saunter across it like he had all the time in the world making him at least fifteen minutes late as usual. The fact that he was always late summed up Edward's attitude to these sessions: he simply _didn't care_ about them. It didn't bother him in the slightest that I had better things to do than wait around for him or that he was wasting my time by even coming in the first place.

When he eventually arrived, he would no doubt be as evasive and defensive as always, deflecting my questions with his usual brand of wit and sarcasm. Not to mention his blatant attempts at distracting me with his well practiced seduction techniques. This would continue until he had me so flustered that I didn't know my ass from my elbow. I really should have put a stop to this weeks ago. I was getting absolutely nowhere with him; he simply refused to open up to me. It was quite clear that Edward Cullen didn't _want _to come to therapy in the first place and therefore had no intention of taking it seriously. As far as he was concerned, he didn't have a problem. End of story. So why did I continue to see him? A number of reasons immediately sprang to mind, the main one being his father. When Carlisle had asked me for a favor I simply couldn't refuse. If it wasn't for Dr. Cullen's aid I wouldn't have been able to complete my training and I certainly wouldn't be working for Victoria now.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was the best doctor I knew both in skill and compassion. During my last semester at the University of Washington, my father (who was chief of police in Port Angeles) had been seriously injured in a high speed car chase. His injuries had been so severe that it was touch and go for a while whether he would even survive. Carlisle had been the attending physician when my dad was brought into the ER. Because of the professional relationship they shared, he took a personal interest in my father's recovery, even going so far as to pull a few strings allowing me to stay overnight in Charlie's room until he was out of the woods. He also took time out to come chat with me and check in on my father whenever he could. However, it was after Charlie's release that Carlisle really came into his own and did something more amazing for me than anyone else ever had. Knowing that I would want to be near my father to help care for him until he was back on his feet, Carlisle had contacted the university on my behalf. He even arranged for me to complete my final training, a period of residency alongside a practicing psychiatrist, in Port Angeles rather than in Seattle thus enabling me to move in with Charlie and not have to repeat my entire final year. On top of that, it was Carlisle who had informed me of the vacancy within Victoria's practice.

So when he'd called me two months ago asking for my help, I'd readily agreed to meet with him. I was eager to show my gratitude any way I could.

_"Carlisle, it's great to see you," I greeted him, smiling as I shook his hand._

_"You too, Bella. It's a beautiful office you have here."_

_I glanced quickly around the room at the cream walls that perfectly accented the tan carpet and chocolate-colored furniture. I'd chosen my color scheme purposefully, taking care to choose colors that walked the fine line between comforting and inviting and professional. The whole effect was enhanced by carefully chosen pieces of artwork, some my own originals, and others prints of famous paintings by my favorite artist, Salvador Dali. _

_"Thank you. It's taken awhile to get it exactly the way I want it but I think it's finally getting there." I smiled. "But surely you didn't come all this way to discuss the decor?"_

_"Straight to the point as always, Bella; that's one of the things I admire about you. You don't beat around the bush." I smiled a tight, professional smile at him, silently urging him to go on. "I require your professional assistance with a somewhat... er, delicate matter. My youngest son is exhibiting patterns of behavior that are beginning to concern me, and I was wondering if you would consider taking him on as a patient."_

_"Well, it's a little unusual to be approached by a prospective patient's father, but if you tell me what's bothering you I'll certainly give you my opinion on whether your concerns are justified and we can take it from there."_

_"The fact is, Bella, I'm concerned that Edward has developed an unhealthy attitude toward sex. His behavior is causing problems not only to himself, but to me and the rest of my family."_

_"You'll have to be a lot more specific than that, Carlisle, if you want my advice on the matter."_

_"To put it bluntly, Bella, my son is a man-whore. He hasn't had a steady relationship since high school and he treats women as playthings that he can merely use and discard at his leisure."_

_"Promiscuity, Carlisle, while morally questionable, does not mean he has a sexual disorder-which, as you know, is my area of expertise."_

_"Yes, I'm well aware of that, Bella, I just don't know what else to do. Frankly, I'm at my wit's end. My family is being torn apart by him. Edward and I are constantly bickering over his lifestyle, my wife is extremely distressed over a certain incident she had the misfortune of witnessing involving Edward and the caterer at our last dinner party," he paused here, looking mortified at the memory. He sighed slightly and continued. "My daughter Alice has been forced to move out of the apartment she shared with him due to his late night and, from what I gather, rather _vocal _sexual exploits." Now his embarrassment had changed to disgust. "On top of all that, I've lost two very good ER nurses due to my son's treatment of them during his internship at the hospital before he dropped out of medical school." I shot him a questioning glance, so he quickly explained himself. "He slept with them, Bella. And then never called them again. They couldn't stand seeing him every day, so they found employment elsewhere. His antics have caused me a great deal of professional embarrassment, on numerous occasions. Add to that my daughter crying on a regular basis because yet another of her friends doesn't talk to her anymore after her brother got his hands on them."_

_"I can appreciate your situation but I'm not sure how I can be of help exactly. It doesn't sound like he has a sexual disorder, apart from his inability to keep it in his pants, that is." Carlisle cringed at my blunt honesty._

_Carlisle recovered himself enough to speak. "I'm not suggesting that he does. I just thought that perhaps talking to someone outside of the family might make him realize how his behavior is affecting everyone around him and how he is alienating himself within his own family. Bella, if you could just meet with him and see if you can get to the bottom of _why _he continues to behave in this manner. I'm concerned that there is some underlying problem that makes him act this way; maybe not strictly a sexual problem, but an emotional one. Please, Bella, you are the best sex therapist I know."_

"_How many sex therapists do you know?" I challenged him, already knowing the answer._

"_Alright, alright, you're the only one. But even if I knew a hundred, I'd still be asking you to see Edward. I just think you're the right fit for him."_

_I scoffed. "The right fit? I'm not a shoe, Carlisle."_

"_Of course, not. I wasn't trying to imply that you are." He sighed. "This isn't coming out right. I'm sorry if I've offended you, Bella, but please. The bottom line is I love my son and it's obvious to everyone that he isn't happy; something is troubling him. Will you take on Edward as a patient? Consider it a personal favor."_

That 'personal favor' had become the biggest pain in my ass ever. Yet I simply could not bring myself to admit defeat and walk away. I had promised Carlisle I would do my best to try to help his family and it was a promise I intended to keep. I would never forgive myself if Edward _did _have a problem and I simply walked away. I couldn't live with another ruined life on my conscience. Even if that life happened to belong to the most annoying man I'd ever set eyes on.

As my thoughts moved away from Carlisle and back to his infuriatingly handsome son, I turned from the window and resumed pacing the floor between the desk and the couch. I looked down at my watch; 10:05. "Damn him," I muttered as my frustration mounted and my pacing picked up speed. I knew he'd be late and I mentally kicked myself for daring to hope otherwise for even one second. He simply _had _to get in his show of defiance at having to attend these sessions in the first place. Despite Carlisle's insistence that Edward had agreed to attend these sessions of his own free will, I suspected that he was only here to please his family.

As I continued to wear a path in the plush carpeting, my eyes were drawn to the painting above the couch, an abstract representation of the human mind that I'd painted during my first year of college. Pausing in front of the couch, I let out a loud sigh as I studied it. God, how I'd love to get a good look into Edward's psyche. I suspected that there was a lot more to Edward than met the eye. I'd gotten a fleeting glimpse of the quiet vulnerability that lay beneath the surface of his brash exterior before the shutters were slammed firmly into place, preventing me from gaining any further insight. It was in these all too brief moments that I believed Carlisle was correct in his assumption that something was indeed troubling his son. I suspected that Edward projected his cocky, confident exterior to the world in an attempt to mask his own insecurities and inadequacies.

_Inadequacies? Really Swan?_ Who the hell was I trying to kid? As if there could be anything inadequate about Edward Cullen. The man was as close to physical perfection as you could get and he exuded a sexual confidence that was almost palpable. Even I, sexually introverted Bella Swan, knew that sex with Edward Cullen would be nothing less than mind-blowing. The man only had to be in the same room as me for my body to start behaving like that of a hormonal teenager. It was like being back in high school with Edward Cullen as the star quarterback and my girlie bits as the cheerleaders, frantically waving their pom-poms and cheering hysterically at his mere presence. My body reacted to him in ways that were downright embarrassing and I had no control over them whatsoever. In fact, this very morning, I had awoken hot and sticky and more turned on than I had ever been in my entire life, from yet another erotic dream starring Edward bloody Cullen. My subconscious was hell bent on torturing me with fantasies of him that would simply never happen in a million years. My rational mind knew that any sexual interaction with Edward was out of the question; he was a patient for Christ's sake. Not to mention that he drove me absolutely batty with his smug arrogance. Hell, half the time I didn't know whether I wanted to beat him to death with a blunt instrument or jump him. Why in God's name was I even attracted to a man like him in the first place?

Just then the phone on my desk rang, dragging me from my thoughts. I turned away from the couch and moved back behind my desk. I pressed the speaker button on my desk phone and said, "Yes, Jane?"

"Dr. Swan, Mr. Cullen is here."

"Thank you. I'll be ready for him momentarily."

I pulled open my desk drawer and removed my compact, quickly checking my appearance in the tiny mirror. I tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of my French twist back into place, before grabbing the puff from my compact and dabbing a little powder on my cheeks. I rummaged through my drawer for my lip gloss and deftly applied a light coating before snapping the compact closed and chucking it and the lip gloss back in my drawer. I was just undoing an extra button on my blouse when my brain kicked into gear. What the hell was I doing? I needed to try to deflect Edward's attentions, not flippin' encourage them!

"Get a grip, Swan," I muttered to myself, hastily redoing my button. I took in a deep breath to steady my nerves and help push my previous thoughts out of my mind. "He's just a patient, just like any other patient you see any other day. You can handle him, just stay focused." _Stay focused, stay focused, _I repeated silently. That had become my mantra in dealing with Edward Cullen. Hopefully today, it would work. I took one more deep breath and I pushed the speaker phone button again. "Jane, you can send Mr. Cullen in now."

"Yes, Dr. Swan."

Less than a minute later, the door flew open and Edward appeared in the doorway, flashing me his stunning crooked smile. "Morning, beautiful," he said, with a wink.

The cheerleading squad immediately began chanting his name enthusiastically as my thighs began rubbing themselves together in delight at his arrival. I sighed in defeat. I was so screwed.

**Thank you for reading. We cherish each review, and would love to hear what you think of this chapter. See you in a couple of weeks :).**

**~caz12771 & wmr1601  
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	3. Indecent Proposal

**A/N: We don't own _Twilight. _No matter how many stars we wish upon each night. We also don't own Rob. There aren't enough stars in the sky to make that wish come true. *Sigh* **

**Welcome back. There's an update on our posting schedule at the end of the chapter, so make sure to read that. **

**Also, this story is rated M for a reason. If you're uncomfortable with or too young to read curse words or lemons, please don't read any further. **

**If you're still here after the disclaimer, then enjoy the chapter!  
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Chapter 3: Indecent Proposal

EPOV

"Morning, beautiful," I said with a wink and a smile as I paused in the doorway of Dr. Swan's office. Trying to gauge her mood, I scanned her face; she appeared a little stunned to see me standing here, as if she hadn't been expecting me. My gaze drifted hungrily over her features devouring every inch of her, from her long elegant neck up to her deep brown eyes. She was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. A small half smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and her eyes sparkled with what looked like... pleasure? Her eyes locked with mine as a hint of pink spread across her features; she shifted slightly in her seat before pulling her gaze from mine and lowering it to her desk. She swallowed thickly and a small sigh escaped her full lips. Wow, this was new, she looked almost pleased to see me. Normally she'd fix me with a steely glare as soon as I entered and berate me for my lateness. Maybe the ol' Cullen charm was working its magic after all. I stepped further into the office and turned to close the door behind me. This was going to be easier than I thought. I was silently congratulating myself on my impending victory when I heard the doc's voice behind me.

"Dr. Swan," she snapped. My head whipped round to peer at her over my shoulder.

"Pardon?" I queried, raising an eyebrow at her in confusion.

"_Dr._ Swan," she repeated, glaring at me with an icy stare. I must have looked as confused as I felt; she continued to explain her outburst, speaking very slowly as if to a young child, a deaf man or the village idiot. "My name, _Mr. Cullen_, is Dr. Swan-not beautiful, not sweetheart, nor any other term of endearment you might wish to use. I am your therapist and would appreciate it if you would address me accordingly."

Her frosty tone wiped away my previous thoughts of impending success. Hell, she was even more pissed with me than usual; I would have to work even harder to win her over now. I spun on my heel and strode quickly to her desk; placing my hands on the wood, I leaned toward her, flashed her my patented panty-dropping smirk, and gazed deep into her eyes. "Oh come on, now, Doc, surely we've been seeing each other long enough to dispense with the formalities?" I asked softly in my best bedroom voice. "How will we ever get to know each other better if you don't loosen up a little, huh?"

Rather than disarm her as I'd hoped, my closeness seemed to aggravate her further. She visibly stiffened, squared her shoulders and drew in a sharp breath. "Sit down, Mr. Cullen," she commanded forcefully through tight lips, her eyes glistening with frustration as she gripped the edge of her desk.

"I love it when you get all domineering, Doc," I teased before lowering myself into the brown leather chair opposite hers. She huffed in annoyance and narrowed her eyes at me. "Aw, come on, Doc. I'm just kidding around, trying to lighten the mood a bit. I didn't mean to offend you." I smiled innocently.

"I am well aware of what you're _trying _to do, _Edward_, but I'd really just like to get on with the session. You've wasted enough of my time already with your lack of punctuality."

"Edward, huh?" I leaned forward placing my elbows on the desk, resting my chin on my hands. "So we're back on first name terms, eh, _Isabella_?" I raised one eyebrow questioningly. When she didn't respond other than to glare at me icily, I continued. "Well, it's not as much progress as I'd like to make in the… loosening up department." I paused wetting my lips slightly and lowering my gaze to her cleavage before bringing it back up to meet hers. "But it's definitely a start. Maybe we could get to know each other better after all." I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at her.

She shook her head minutely and with a slight smile picked up her notebook and pen from her desk before leaning back in her chair. "So, you'd like for us to get to know each other better, would you, Edward?" she challenged.

"Uh-huh," I said, nodding in agreement as a smile played at the corners of my lips. _Now we're getting somewhere._

"Well, then why don't we start by you _actually _answering some of my questions for a change?" Without giving me chance to respond, she continued, "That would definitely count as progress, don't you think?" Her steely, determined gaze bore into mine as she calmly awaited my response.

_Shit! I guess I walked right into that one. Think fast, Cullen, and fix this. _"Well, that's one way to go about things, I suppose. But I could think of a few more ... _pleasurable _options," I replied with a smirk and a raise of my eyebrows.

"Yes, I'm quite sure you could, but I think we'll stick with a more appropriate course of action," she responded coolly. "Now if you'd like to make yourself comfortable" -she gestured toward the couch- "we can finally get down to business."

With a chuckle I rose from the chair and moved toward the couch, shooting her a playful wink over my shoulder. "I thought you'd never ask."

-x-

**BPOV**

_Damn him! Does he ever give up? _Looking down at the desk, I took a deep breath to steady my thoughts and repeated my mantra. _Stay focused, stay focused. You are in charge of this session, Bella, not him. _I looked up at Edward again once I'd regained my resolve and watched him flop languidly onto the couch, stretching his long, lithe body and placing his arms behind his head. My eyes roamed the length of him taking in his taut muscles and deliciously long limbs. My mouth watered at the sight of him and my nipples hardened as I imagined running my hands over his glorious form. I squeezed my thighs together tightly in an attempt to calm the cheerleading squad who were waving their pompoms frantically and chanting his name, willing me to leap the desk and mount him.

"See something you like, Doc?" The sound of his velvety voice brought me out of my daydream instantly. My eyes snapped to his face, taking in the enormous grin that was plastered across his handsome features. His bright green eyes sparkled with amusement under his slightly raised eyebrows. Hell, he'd caught me practically drooling over him and the smug asshole bloody loved it. I gathered my composure quickly as a wave of annoyance swept through me. I rose from the chair, my focus and determination restored and snorted loudly. There was no way in hell I'd let that arrogant S.O.B. see how much he affected me. I walked quickly around the desk, grabbed hold of the back of the chair Edward had recently vacated, and pushed it toward the couch.

"Oh, you'd just love that, wouldn't you, Edward?" I said, moving to sit in the chair that was now only a foot or so from the couch. "I imagine it's quite a blow to your substantial ego that I haven't fallen victim to your charms?" I raised an eyebrow questioningly at him as I sat down.

Edward shook his head slightly and chuckled softly. "Not at all, Doc. I assure you, my ego is firmly intact," he replied confidently. "Besides it wouldn't be any fun if you just fell over with your legs in the air, now would it?"

_Jeez, this guy's so full of himself. There's no way I'm going to dignify that with an answer_. I narrowed my eyes and opened my notebook. Edward rolled onto his side on the couch propping himself up on one elbow; one corner of his mouth pulled up into a sexy lopsided smile.

"Oh, come on, Isabella," he purred. "We both know it's only a matter of time. I saw you checking me out before. Why don't you just give in now and come over here and have some... fun?"

I tried to ignore the shiver that ran down my spine at the sound of my name coming from those magnificent lips. "Really, Edward, do you seriously expect me to give in so easily? As you said before, where would be the fun in that?" I leaned back in the chair, crossing one leg over my other knee and stuck the tip of my pen between my teeth. "Now, if you're quite finished with your futile, and let's face it obvious, attempt at seduction, I'd like to get on with this session."

Edward sighed and flopped back into his previous position on the couch. "Touche!" he muttered, staring up at the ceiling. After a second or two he turned his head toward me. "So, Doc, is this the part where we discuss my _mommy_ issues?" He pulled his hands from where they were clasped behind his head and made quote marks in the air with his long slender fingers.

I regarded him coolly. "Actually, Edward, in your case I think_ Daddy _issues would be a more appropriate topic."

"Whatever gave you that idea, Doc? You're not projecting your own problems onto me are you?" I saw a flash of emotion that I couldn't name in his eyes. "Hard is it, being Daddy's little girl? That why you're still single, no one good enough, eh?" I seethed inwardly at his remark and swallowed, counting to ten in my head. When I didn't answer, Edward continued, "I'll tell you what, Doc, if you're a good girl I'll help you with those issues. I might even let you call _me _Daddy." He winked suggestively.

I gritted my teeth and drew in a deep calming breath. "That's enough, Edward. I'm not going to allow you to waste any more of my valuable time. If you're not going to take these sessions seriously then I simply don't see the point in continuing with this charade."

"Aw, don't be like that, Doc," Edward said, rising from his position on the couch to perch on the edge. "I'll be a good boy from now on, I promise." He smiled sweetly looking up at me through his long lashes.

I eyed him speculatively, not buying his line for one second. I sighed as I pushed up out of the chair. _What the hell am I going to do with him? I'm getting nowhere here. _I walked around behind the chair, resting my hands on the back as I took several deep breaths to clear my mind. "Look, Edward, I'm not going to do this anymore. I have better things to do with my time, and I'm sure you do, too. You've been coming here for weeks, and we have accomplished absolutely nothing. It's clear from your behavior that you don't want to be here. Why do you even bother continuing to attend these sessions at all?"

Edward hesitated before smiling sweetly. "I suppose saying it was to see you would be a really bad idea about now, right?" I continued to stare at him, frowning slightly. Edward chuckled quietly at my expression. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay, Doc, I'm going to be honest with you. You're right when you say I don't want to be here. I don't want-or for that matter _need_-therapy. I certainly don't have a freakin' sex addiction, I just like to fuck, okay, is that such a crime?"

"Sex addiction!" I exclaimed in surprise. "I never said you did have a sex addiction, Edward. Where did you get the idea that I thought you did?"

A look of confusion flashed over his face and then disappeared just as quickly before he said, "I Googled you."

"You what?" I asked, raising my voice in indignation.

"I Googled you," he repeated. "Well, I Googled the practice, and it says on the website that you specialize in helping people overcome sex addiction. So…"

I cut him off quickly before he could say any more, "So you assumed that because Carlisle recommended _me _as your therapist that I'd be treating you for sex addiction?"

"Er, something like that," he muttered, lowering his eyes to the floor, trying to conceal his embarrassment.

"No wonder you've been so defensive during our sessions," I mused. _Now things are starting to make sense._ "Just because I treat people for sex addiction, Edward, doesn't mean that anyone thought you had one. Is there another reason you jumped to that conclusion?"

"No, not really." He lifted his gaze back up to meet mine and I smiled at him reassuringly. His eyes bore into mine, as if he was looking for some kind of answer within. After what felt like an eternity, he continued. "Er, well, it was Carlisle that recommended you specifically and he's always so eager to think the worst of me..." He trailed off, shrugging and sighing quietly. He looked so sad and vulnerable in that moment that I had to fight the urge to walk over and hug him. I knew that would be inappropriate, so I settled for trying to reassure him verbally instead.

"I'm sure he doesn't think that, Edward. He certainly never mentioned it to me when he asked me to see you."

"Whatever," he said dismissively, rolling his eyes.

It was clear that there was no point pursuing this any further, so I went back to my original question.

"So, why are you here then, Edward, if you don't want or need therapy?"

"Does it really matter?" he said, leaning back on the couch, resting one arm along the back and stretching his long legs out in front of him. "I come every week-surely _that's_ what counts, not _why _I come?"

"Look, Edward, I can't treat you if I don't know a thing about you." I sighed in frustration. "Yes, you do come every week and each week it's the same-you're defensive and evasive and you insist that we play this ludicrous game of sexual cat and mouse." Raising my voice as my temper flared, I continued, "If you don't think that you need my help, then why the hell do you continue to waste my time?"

"I don't _need_ your help, Doc, and you're right, this is a waste of time," he replied coolly, seemingly unaffected by my outburst, "but I promised my baby sister I'd come, and I _never _break my promises."

I drew in a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly, thinking over his response before getting him to clarify his motives. "Let me get this straight, Edward. You're telling me that you attend these sessions purely to please someone else?"

"Mm-hm," he confirmed with a slight nod.

"Okay, Edward. Why is it, do you think, that your sister wants you to come to therapy?" I tilted my head slightly, studying his features for any kind of reaction.

Edward chuckled softly to himself, raising his eyes to the ceiling before leaning forward and resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him. "Look, Doc, I know where you're going with this, so let's just cut to the chase. You want to know whether my sister thinks I have some kind of… _problem _that requires your help. Well, the truth is she probably does. In fact, I'm pretty sure my entire family thinks I'm some kind of friggin' pervert."

I was shocked at his abrupt candor, and felt the emotion manifest on my face involuntarily. I recovered quickly and challenged him with a follow-up question. "Why would they think that, Edward?" I asked gently, trying to get him to open up more.

"I know what you're thinking, there's no smoke without fire, right? So, if my family thinks I have a problem then obviously there has to be a reason for that. The truth of it is, Doc, I don't. And I'm not going to be fooled into thinking I do by them or you. I. Like. To. Fuck. End of story. And if everyone would just mind their own business, I wouldn't be sitting here now, wasting both our time."

"I'm not trying to fool you into believing anything, Edward. The truth of the matter is that you seem to be incapable of forming a meaningful relationship with a woman and..."

"Now wait just a minute!" he exclaimed, standing abruptly from his perch on the edge of the sofa. "I'm not incapable of forming anything! I just haven't found the right woman yet."

"Really, Edward? Well, it takes more than simply 'fucking' to know who the 'right one' is." Needing to put some space between us I moved over to the desk and tossed my notepad onto it before sitting casually on the corner. _Jeez he was sexy when he was angry_. "When was the last time you had a proper date with a woman? Hell, when was the last time you even had a _conversation _with one? That _didn't_ revolve around sex?" I amended quickly, cutting off what surely would have been an obnoxious response before he could utter it.

"I talk to women all the time, and I have been on lots of dates, for your information," he responded, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. "Just because none of them were interesting enough for me to want to start a relationship with doesn't mean I'm incapable of having one."

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that out of all the women you have slept with, not one of them has interested you? And that your promiscuous behavior is not caused by fear of becoming emotionally attached? Why would you even bother to take out a woman that you weren't interested in in the first place?"

"I wouldn't. I'm interested in all the woman I take out, in a sexual way at least. I just haven't been out with anyone who interests me in other ways. Most woman bore me stupid after about five minutes but you, Doc, well, you've kept my attention for six weeks. I'm sure if I dated you it would be a different story." He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

_Oh my god, is he seriously suggesting that he wants to date me? There is no way I'm falling for this._ "Don't be ridiculous, Edward. Dating me would make no difference in the slightest. You are just deluding yourself if you think that it's simply a case of meeting the right woman. From what I know of your track record, you have an appalling attitude toward women, you use sex as a defense mechanism, and you are incapable of allowing anyone to get close to you." I ticked off his 'offenses' on my fingers.

"Well, Doc, if you're so sure that that's the case then why don't you date me and see?" My mouth dropped open and I stared at him in disbelief. "Give me a chance to prove you wrong. I know it would be different with you because you're different. You are smart, sassy and beautiful. You intrigue me, Doc, and I'd love to get to know more about you. You are, by far, the most interesting woman I've ever met. If you are convinced that it won't make a difference then what's the harm in coming out with me tomorrow night? If what you say is true, then I'm sure to lose interest quickly and you'll win. I'll quit wasting your time." He cocked his head to the side and quirked an eyebrow at me, waiting to see if I'd accept his challenge.

_Christ on a bike, he wants to date me. Edward sex-on-a-stick Cullen wants to date me! He called me beautiful and said I was smart and that I intrigued him. What strange and weird dimension is this? Guys like him don't say those things to girls like me._

_Get a grip, Bella, he's just feeding you a line. It's all just another attempt to distract you so he can avoid answering your questions._

_But what if it's not? What if he's serious? _

Contrasting thoughts ran through my brain as I just stood there staring at him completely incapable of speech. _Could I really go out on a date with Edward?_ The cheerleaders representing my girlie parts were screaming "_Do it! Do it!_" while the rational side of my brain was yelling "_not in a million years_." I had to compose myself and decide what the hell I was going to say. Before I could organize them, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Edward's voice.

"What's up, Doc, not so sure of your theory after all?" he gloated with a confident smirk. "Or are you just worried that you won't be able to resist me outside of this office?"

_God, he was a cocky asshole. How I'd love to wipe that look off his face._ "Not at all, Edward. I'm quite confident in my professional assessment of your behavior. _Were _I to date you, I have no doubt that I would be proved right. Just as I'm sure that I would have no problem resisting your rather blatant attempts at seduction," I responded confidently without a second's thought looking him squarely in the eye. "That being said, Edward, it wouldn't be ethical for me to date a patient."

"Okay, Doc, I have a deal for you. Stop being my therapist and date me instead. You said yourself that me coming here has been a complete waste of time. This way you'll get to see whether I _actually _have a problem or not. If I don't, you can tell Carlisle that, which gets him off my bac. If I do, you can recommend me to someone else, getting me out of your hair. It's a win-win situation. You never know-you might even have some fun, too."

I eyed him skeptically, mulling over my options. _In theory it's not a bad idea. Edward will surely be more relaxed in a social setting thus more likely to open up to me. However, in practice, this is a very different matter. Can I really handle spending time with him outside of this office? I can't deny the effect this man has on me. Will I be able to resist him or am I destined to become just another notch on the bedpost of Edward freakin' Cullen?_

I dropped my gaze to the rug, tracing its patterns with my eyes as I pondered. _Of course I can! I am a professional, and if I view it as more of a session than a date, it shouldn't really be an issue. Besides, dinner and dancing does not mean that I have to sleep with him. I am in control of my body. He's just a man, not so different from any other man. I rebuff men's advances on a weekly basis. I can handle him, too._

With my new found determination I looked up confidently and gasped in surprise. Edward was standing right in front of me with an alluring smile playing across his lips. "So, I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow," he stated firmly.

I stared at his gorgeous mouth unable to think coherently as he slowly leaned toward me placing a hand on either side of my hips. I felt his warm breath on my cheek as he reached one arm behind me. _Holy crap, what the heck is he doing? _I opened my mouth to speak but was unable to form any words, as his nose brushed lightly against my ear. My heart thudded in my chest and my skin tingled from his slight touch.

"I need your address," he whispered softly before leaning back and placing my notepad and pen in my trembling hands. I lowered my gaze to the pad silently willing my hands to stop shaking as I quickly scribbled down my address. Edward quickly tore the top sheet off and placed it in the back pocket of his pants. With his other hand he reached out, placing his fingers gently under my chin and tilted my face up toward his. He leaned in close again, our faces now only inches apart. His bright green eyes smoldered with desire completely captivating me. I stared at him, unable to move, as his tongue peeked out to wet his bottom lip. _Oh my god he's going to kiss me. Edward hot lips Cullen was going to bloody kiss me. _My body took on a life of its own: my heart raced, my breath caught in my throat, and my eyes began to close of their own accord as his lips descended towards mine. My head turned slightly to the side and the cheerleading squad began to giggle in anticipation.

Just as I felt his lips begin to brush softly against mine he pulled back suddenly. "See you tomorrow, Doc," he said with a wink before spinning on his heel and striding toward the door. I let out a deep breath and the cheerleaders sighed in protest as I watched his retreating form pause in the doorway. "Oh, and, Doc? I guarantee you'll have fun," he said with a smirk and a wink before walking out closing the door swiftly behind him.

I stared at the closed door, my jaw hanging open in shock. "Holy shit," I muttered breathlessly. _I have a date with Edward Cullen. I am in soooo much trouble!_

**Thank you to everyone who's reading, reviewing, and putting us on your favorites list and/or story alerts! We're thrilled with the warm reception we're already getting. As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Also, we've been in contact with our twilighted beta, and this is good news for you FF readers; she's a fast validater, so updates will now happen weekly instead of every two weeks! Starting next week, we will update this story every Thursday (in the afternoon, West coast American time).**

**Until next time,**

**Caz & Wendy**


	4. Decisions, Decisions

**A/N: Welcome back! We hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, we don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 4: Decisions, Decisions

**~Bella~**

I was still reeling from the encounter that had taken place that morning as I drove home that evening. _How in the world did I get duped into accepting a date with Edward freaking Cullen?_ I groaned internally. It was now Friday evening, and I'd agreed to go out with him on Saturday night. Who the hell was I kidding? Agreed my ass! _Railroaded _would be more like it. The arrogant swine hadn't given me a chance to refuse. I had to cancel. That was all there was to it. No sane person would allow themselves to be manipulated in that way. A real professional would have been able to maintain control of the situation instead of turning into a pile of goo every time he flashed that stupid crooked grin of his. I'd call him and cancel, and no one would be any wiser. Especially not the ethics board. _Oh, dear God, the ethics board. If anyone finds out that I've agreed to date a patient, I'll lose my license for sure. _It didn't even matter if he switched therapists, the fact that I'd agreed to see him when he was still one of my patients was enough to get me in big trouble. And using the excuse that perhaps he'd open up to me more in a non-professional setting just made it even worse. I was playing with fire here, and knowing my luck, I'd get burned.

While I knew I _should _cancel the date, I wasn't entirely sure I _wanted _to. It had been ages since I'd been out and while Edward wasn't the perfect choice, I couldn't deny how attracted to him I was. Besides, I owed it to Carlisle to try to help him. If I couldn't do that as his therapist, then where was the harm in trying to do it as his friend? I didn't have to become romantically involved with him, just go out with him a few times. I could keep this a platonic relationship. As long as I could keep my traitorous body under control. _Ha! Easier said than done. Something tells me that Edward is not going to make it any easier._

Sighing deeply as I waited at the traffic light on the corner of Cherry Street and Boren Avenue to make my left hand turn to go home, I continued to think about my date with Edward. I couldn't decide what to do, so I made the decision just as the light turned green to stage an intervention for myself. I pulled into my assigned parking space in the Monticello and as soon as I killed the ignition, I plucked my cell phone out of my purse and dialed a familiar number. I had to see Emily and Leah tonight.

My two best friends happened to be cousins. I'd met Emily on my first day of college; as freshman, we hadn't been allowed to choose our dorm mates, and we'd been randomly assigned to each other. Like most college roommates, we became fast friends, and she'd introduced me to her best friend and cousin, Leah. Leah had taken some getting used to; she had a much harsher personality, was always very blunt and forthright. What Leah was thinking was never in question. It was a little off-putting and hard to get used to at first, but before the end of the school year the three of us were practically inseparable.

My sophomore year was interesting; I was accepted to an exchange student program, so I spent the entire year in England. It was a fabulous experience, and I picked up not only British slang (_much of which I still used)_, but also a new best friend in Angela Weber. We were roommates in the UK, and had every class together. When we returned to Washington the following spring, I reconnected easily with Emily and Leah and also introduced them to Angela. I felt lucky that my three best friends also got along so well with each other.

Juniors were allowed to live off campus, so it was only fitting that we would get an apartment together. Emily's grandfather had a rent-controlled apartment in the city, and unfortunately, was no longer able to care for himself, so her parents moved him in with them and Emily inherited the apartment. It was perfect for us, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a common living area and kitchen. Just like the previous year, Angela and I shared a room, as did Emily and Leah. Everyone was responsible for their own meals and cleanup; not cleaning a mess you made was not tolerated, and that one rule helped keep the entire apartment tidy. It was a very pleasant place to live.

As we were really starting to focus on our majors, our class and work schedules didn't allow us much time to spend together during the week. Whenever possible, we tried to have a 'girls' night in' on either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night. The rent-control saved our bacon on many occasions; it was really the only way that four young college girls, with low-paying jobs, could afford to live in Seattle proper.

We were all in steady relationships at that point, and implemented the ol' 'tie on the doorknob' method of communicating. Basically, if there was a men's tie on outside of the doorknob to your room, it was the equivalent of a _do not disturb_ sign, and you were sleeping on the couch. It happened to all of us at least once.

Halfway through our junior year, Angela moved out of the apartment suddenly. She gave virtually no notice, only saying that she didn't feel safe here anymore and was dropping out of school to go back to her parents' house. I couldn't really blame her after what happened and I felt so guilty. I shuddered at the memories that still plagued me to this day. I should have done more to stop the whole thing from happening and would never forgive myself. It was my guilt over this that led me to change my major from art to psychology. I swore that I would never let something like that go undetected again.

For my new major, my last semester was to be spent working out of a clinic rather than in the classroom. This was also right around the time my father got shot in the line of duty, so I moved home to take care of him. I was glad tonight more than ever before that I hadn't lost contact with Em and Lee when I'd moved back to Forks. That friendship had been a real lifesaver for me, and we were always able to call each other when we needed. I smiled as I thought back over all the experiences we'd had together while I listened to the monotonous ringing of the phone.

"Hey, Bella! What's up?" Leah answered.

"Hi, Lee." I paused for a moment, and then decided to just be bluntly honest with why I was calling. "I need a girls' night."

"Uh-oh. Boy trouble?" she said, laughing a bit.

"Honestly? Yeah." I could feel my face beginning to flame at the mere memory of Edward Cullen and the reason I needed the girls' night.

"Really? I was just kidding. You never have boy trouble. Well, not since Ja—"

"Can we not talk about my past?" I interrupted. "I just really need my friends tonight. Are you available?"

"Yeah, of course. Do you want me to call Emily, too?"

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. This sounds serious, Bella. Is everything okay?"

"I wish I knew," I sighed. "So, can we do this old school? I might need you guys in the morning, too, so can you bring sleepover stuff? I'll order pizza and pick up some wine, and we can talk all night long, just like we used to."

"Wow, a sleepover? This _is_ serious," she mused. "Alright, I'm in." I could see her shrugging in my mind's eye. That was Leah, though, always up for an adventure. "I'm pretty sure Emily will want to do this, too, but let me call her to make sure. I'll call you right back, okay?"

"Thanks, Lee."

"You're welcome, Bells. Talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and climbed out of my car. There was a liquor store on the corner of my block; if I walked there, maybe by the time I arrived, Leah would have called me back, letting me know whether or not Emily was able to come; that way, I'd know how much wine to buy.

Just as I'd hoped, she did call, right as I was reaching for the door handle of the store. She had good news, too. Emily was available, so tonight, for the first time in years we were having a sleepover.

I selected a few bottles of my favorite wine and called the pizza delivery company on my walk back to the Monticello.

I was in the bathroom drying my hair after a quick shower when I heard the buzzer. The pizza delivery guy and my friends must have arrived at the same time; I assumed they did, anyway, since Leah was carrying two pizza boxes when they arrived at the door after I buzzed them in.

"What are you doing?" I complained lightly, seeing the pizza boxes in her arms as well as her overnight bag slung over one shoulder. "I told you I was covering the food and drink."

"Well, then, you can pay me back," Leah replied flippantly, walking into my little apartment as if she owned the place. "So, what's this all about, Bella? We dropped everything we had going for you tonight."

"You had other plans?" I asked, feeling guilty.

Emily walked in right behind Leah and placed a gentle hand on my back. "Don't worry about it. We know you'd be there for us should we need you, so of course we're here for you." She rolled her eyes toward her cousin. "Leah's mostly just giving you a hard time. That's just how she is, you know that."

I did, too. Emily was right; that was just Leah's personality. She was very outspoken, always talking first and thinking second. It wasn't that she tried to hurt people's feelings, she just had an uncanny ability to see right through everyone's crap and get to the heart of the matter quickly and bluntly. That was part of the reason I called her over tonight rather than just Emily.

I flashed a grateful smile in Emily's direction and then spoke again. "Let's eat first; we can talk in a bit."

"Or we can talk while we eat," Leah suggested.

I took the pizza boxes from her and set them on the breakfast bar, opening each one to reveal lots of melted cheese and various toppings. In all honesty, we probably didn't need two pizzas for just the three of us, but it was girls' night in tradition. We always had the same pizzas for these events, and by breakfast, the entire two pizzas were normally gone.

To avoid talking for another few minutes, I sat on a barstool and grabbed a slice of pepperoni and took a big bite. I chewed slowly, carefully, trying to decide how to approach the subject with them. Emily and Leah followed suit, perching themselves on two of the remaining three stools.

"Bella! You think you're being clever or something? I know you're avoiding the topic, but honestly, you called us, not the other way around. Now talk," Leah ordered.

I took a deep breath and a sip of wine, which one of them had poured while I'd been eating my pizza; I hadn't even noticed which one. "Okay, you guys know that Dr. Cullen called me a couple of months ago, he wanted me to see his kid. I told you this, right?"

"Right," Emily said interestedly.

"So, I took Edward on as a patient. And man, you should see this guy. He is hot with a capital H. Seriously."

"Really?" Leah asked, setting her pizza down on a napkin before placing one elbow on the bar and leaning forward, her chin in her hand.

"Yeah," I replied, chuckling slightly. "But he's the most arrogant prick I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I have a hard time being in the same room as him. I mean, he's been a patient for six weeks now, and I've been counseling him every Friday morning. He's got a standing appointment, just like anyone else. He knows it and I know it."

"Why the intense clarification on that point?" Emily asked gently.

I smiled at her. Emily never missed anything. She was so calm and contemplative and I loved her for it. "That's part of the problem. He knows what time his appointments are, and he's never once been on time."

"Never?" Emily repeated.

"No. But that's only part of the problem," I continued, describing to them Edward's behavior throughout the six weeks I'd been seeing him. They both listened carefully, not interrupting, which was really saying something for Leah. I finished by describing today's session, leaving out any details that would cost me my medical license. "He was especially flirty today. It was a little unnerving. He called me beautiful, smart, and sassy. And then, you'll never guess what he did at the end, right before he left." I still couldn't believe it myself.

So imagine my shock when Leah grinned wickedly and said, "He kissed you. Or even better, you slept with him." I felt my face flame. She gasped in delight. "You did, didn't you?"

"No, I most certainly did _not _have sex with him!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" She sounded disappointed.

"Leah! Jeez! No, I didn't sleep with him." My face was still burning, and I knew it was still bright red.

"What did happen, then, Bella?" Emily prodded. "Like Leah said earlier, something must have happened—"

She was cut off by her cousin. "Wait a minute, wait just a minute," Leah said. "You denied sleeping with him, but you never denied that he kissed you." _Crap. _I'd hoped she wouldn't pick up on my omission.

"It wasn't a real kiss," I muttered.

Her eyes popped open in…what? Surprise? Curiosity? Pleasure? I couldn't tell. "It was either a kiss or it wasn't, Bella. Which is it?"

_I hate this, I hate this. Why did I insist on a girls' night tonight?_ I felt that I needed to explain what had happened before I could get to the non-kiss in my office. "He asked me out, for tomorrow night, and didn't give me a chance to say no. I told him that I couldn't date a patient, and he had an answer for that, too. Before I knew what was happening, I was writing my address on a slip of paper and he was leaning in toward me. I could have sworn I felt his lips brush against mine, but I'm not sure."

"Wow," they murmured together.

"So, let me get this straight. You've agreed to date a patient?" Leah asked, showing her ability once again to make even the most complicated situations sound so black and white, so… wrong.

"Technically, no. He said if I agreed to go out with him, he'd stop being my patient." My voice was small.

"Does that really matter in the grand scheme of things, Bella?" Emily asked.

"I don't know. I'm not sure the ethics board will care when the doctor/patient relationship ended, either. Especially in this case, when the two incidents are so closely related." I frowned, thinking about the ethics board again. I sincerely hoped that I never had to deal with them. I didn't know what I'd do if I couldn't be a psychologist anymore. My job was really all I had. "I need to cancel the date, don't I?"

"That might be for the best," Emily said gently.

"Hell, no, you don't," Leah said at the same time. Emily and I both looked at her. She defended her point. "Look, Bella, it's really not that big a deal. I don't see the problem. He's agreed not to see you as a patient anymore right?"

"Right."

"And you're attracted to him?"

I remembered how active my cheerleaders had been in the office, screaming at me to go for it. "Yeah, I'm attracted to him. But so are a lot of women, which is the problem." I clapped a hand over my mouth, realizing that with that sentence, I'd potentially crossed the line of doctor/patient confidentiality.

"Okay, I gather from that that you can't talk about him much more. I get that, the doctor/patient mumbo-jumbo. But answer me this: If you're attracted to him, and as of the moment he left your office today, he's no longer your patient, what's the problem?"

"Leah!" Emily chastised her. "She can't date him. It's a clear violation of her job as a doctor. She knows too much about him. Even if he's not her patient _now_, he _was _and so she knows things that he might not normally divulge in a dating relationship."

"You'd think," I said, rolling my eyes. "Normally that would be a problem but not in this case, trust me. I've gotten absolutely nothing out of him in six weeks."

"Anyway, didn't you call him an arrogant prick? Why would you even want to go out with a guy like him in the first place?" Emily queried.

"Hmmm I don't know," I mumbled, blushing profusely. "I can't think straight when he's around. He has this weird effect on me. It's really embarrassing to admit, but he can turn me on with just a look. It's hard to explain; I mean, I know he's a player but I just can't shake the feeling that it's all a front. Sometimes he can be so sweet. I just can't get past the fact that I want to get to know him better."

"I don't know, Bella, are you sure about this? It sounds like he's really not a good fit for you."

"Jesus, Emily, she's not marrying the guy!" Leah exclaimed. "Who cares if he's a jerk? If he's that hot and can get her juices going that easily the sex would be incredible."

I looked back and forth between them as they continued to debate my dilemma. I felt like a cartoon character, watching them argue back and forth. It was like Emily was an angel on my right shoulder and Leah a little devil on my left. I listened carefully to their arguments, both pro and con, and finally came to a decision. "I'm going," I said confidently.

"What?" they asked simultaneously. Honestly, sometimes it was more like they were twin sisters than cousins. Although this time, while the word was the same, their tones were very different. Leah's was pleased, excited even. Emily's was borderline disapproving.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Emily asked. "I'm really not convinced that this is a good idea."

"I am," Leah said gloatingly. When Emily glared at her, she went on, "Come on, Em, seriously. It's been ages since Bella's seen anyone. Maybe this Cullen kid is exactly what she needs."

"He's not really a _kid_," I mumbled. "He's only a few years younger than me."

"Whatever, that doesn't really matter," Leah said, waving her hand dismissively in the air. I'm just glad you're going to go, Bella. How long has it been since you got laid?"

"That is _not_ why I'm going," I said fiercely.

"Maybe not, but it would be a nice benefit, no?"

I ignored her, and thankfully, she moved on quickly. "So, now that that's decided, what are you going to wear?"

"I have no idea," I answered honestly.

"Oh, well, it doesn't matter; we're staying the night, which means we'll be here in the morning. So, what time is he picking you up?"

"Seven," I told her.

"Good. That gives us plenty of time to get you ready tomorrow."

-x-

Morning came earlier than it should have, considering we'd done the typical sleepover thing and stayed up really late. So even though it was later than a normal morning for me, I still felt like the walking dead when the alarm clock rang at ten. Leah and Emily were still fast asleep, sharing my sofabed, when I peeked in at them on my way to the kitchen. Too much pizza and wine had left me with no appetite for breakfast, so I just put on a pot of coffee instead of bothering to cook.

I was so out of it, I just stood there like a zombie watching the coffee drip slowly into the carafe as it brewed and tried to remember the previous night and why I'd called Emily and Leah over for the sleepover. I had no idea. When the coffee pot finished brewing, the little red light turned off and I poured a cup, then carried it over to the breakfast bar and perched on one of my stools. I held the warm cup, taking occasional sips and watching my friends sleep.

Suddenly, the previous day came crashing back down over me. "Shit!" I said out loud when I remembered. "Crap, crap, crap!" I had a date with Edward tonight. He was coming here, to my apartment, in less than nine hours. And I was flummoxed as to what to wear for said date, and even more so, what to do once he got here.

My outburst caused Emily to stir. She rolled over and pried her eyes open slowly. "Bella?" she muttered.

"Hey, Em, sorry I woke you."

"That's okay. What time is it?"

"Nearly ten-thirty."

She grumbled and rolled over, eventually swinging her legs around and placing her feet on the floor. She sat up, looking nearly as tired as I felt, and pulled her body up, dragging her feet to the kitchen and pouring herself a cup of the fresh coffee. "So, what was the swearing all about?" she asked, taking a drink of the hot liquid.

I sighed. "I just remembered that I have that date tonight."

"Oh, yeah," she said, as if she had also had forgotten the previous night. The realization had a less dramatic effect on her than it had on me. _Of course, she's not the one going out with Edward tonight_. "So, are you still planning on going, then?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's kind of late to cancel on him now. There's really no reason for me not to." My words were not convincing, even to my own ears.

"It's never too late. You need to worry more about yourself than about him right now."

I frowned, contemplating, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by Leah's voice. "Emily! She made her decision last night! Would you kindly quit trying to talk her out of it?"

I hadn't even realized that Leah was awake, but when I looked up upon hearing her voice, I found that not only was she awake, but she'd already made her way to my tiny kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. I looked at Emily almost apologetically. "She's right, Em. I do want to go, I just…" I trailed off.

"What?" Leah demanded.

Several thoughts were running through my mind, none of which were the one I voiced at her query. "Um, I just don't think I have anything to wear," I muttered feebly. This, of course, was the least of my worries, but I wasn't prepared to tackle the other worries just yet. Later maybe.

Miraculously, Leah either didn't notice or ignored my tone. "That's okay, we'll find something great in your closet. And if we can't, then we'll just go shopping." She said this like it was no big deal. In all honesty, it shouldn't have been. I earned plenty at the practice so money wasn't the problem. I just hated shopping. I knew in my gut that we'd end up at the department store, though. I didn't date, and so had nothing appropriate for such an activity. My bureau contained nothing dressy: a few pairs of jeans and sweats, some t-shirts. My closet was filled with pantsuits for work. Not a skirt or dress to be found anywhere. While the pantsuits were nice, I wasn't sure they would be good enough for a date with Edward. For one, if I wore one of them, I'd feel like I was at work, not out socially. _Although, that might be a good thing. Keep me in the right frame of mind._

"Alright, well, let's go take a look at what you've got," Leah announced. "If we have to go shopping, we need to know that as soon as possible. Who knows how long _that_ might take." She rolled her eyes, no doubt remembering the last time we'd gone shopping for me.

"I can tell you right now that there's nothing in there," I said as she rose from her stool and stalked toward my bedroom. Emily and I followed after her at a much slower, less urgent pace.

"Jeez, Bella," she said as we entered a beat behind her. "It's all _professional_ clothes."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I noted.

"It is when you've got a date with a guy you yourself described as _hot with a capital H._ You need something sexy to wear. Come on, let's go," she said, not wasting a moment of time as she grabbed me with one hand and Emily with the other. We'd been in the bedroom for all of about thirty seconds—tops—before she hauled us out.

We were nearly to the front door before I tugged back, fighting the force that was Leah. "Hey, Leah? I know you don't approve of the clothes in my dresser or closet, but seriously, jeans and a t-shirt have to be better for going out in than pajamas."

"What?" She looked over at me first, then to Emily, and finally down at her own clothes. When she realized the point I was making, she paused, then said, "Yeah, I suppose you're right." She laughed at herself, not even embarrassed at her faux pas. "Okay, everyone go get dressed and meet back here in two minutes. We don't have time to spare today. And Bella? Make sure you wear a button shirt."

We spent ages in both Nordstrom and Macy's not finding anything that Leah and I could agree on—she was insistent on something little, fun, and flirty (with the emphasis being on _little_), while I wanted something a bit more professional. Every time she handed me a tiny dress to try on, I complained and she insisted that I try it on anyway. After I'd tried on what felt like hundreds of dresses we made our way to Barney's N Y. Once inside the store we walked over to the dress department and began once again to sift through the racks. I was nearly ready to give up on this store, too, until I bumped into Leah; we'd made our ways around the racks and were now standing side-by-side near a few dresses that neither of us had looked through yet. We reached for the same one at the same time. "I like this," we said together, laughing at that. Internally, I was relieved. If we finally agreed on a dress, it was just a matter of making sure it fit, then I could finally get out of the department store.

The dress fit like a dream. It was fitted in all the right places and flared out a bit at the skirt. It was cut low in the back and the plunge neckline showed just enough cleavage to be sexy but not make me feel uncomfortable. The silky black material flowed over my body perfectly and stopped just around my knee making my legs look amazing. I put it on in the dressing room and came out to show my friends. They both seemed as pleased with it as I had been initially. Seeing the way the dress made me look, however, made me second guess everything. I looked good in the dress, and Emily and Leah agreed. The problem was that I remembered what I looked like in the jeans before I'd put the dress on. That memory brought a whole flood of others to the forefront of my mind. And those memories caused me to start hyperventilating right there in the store.

"Hey, hey, hey," Emily said when I started freaking out. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I couldn't reply; I just kept breathing hard, trying to catch my breath. Still wearing the flirty, black, dress, I suddenly found myself seated on a short bench, flanked by Leah and Emily on either side of me. Emily—always the more level-headed of the two—helped me to lean down and put my head between my knees while she rubbed my back comfortingly. Several minutes of this and I had calmed enough to talk. "What if he doesn't like me?" I managed to stutter out.

"Are you kidding? He asked you out, didn't he?" Leah was the voice of reason this time.

"Yeah, but that's because he doesn't want to come to the therapy sessions anymore."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. He doesn't want to be there, and there's nothing special about me. That's the only explanation."

"That's not the _only _explanation."

"It really is. I can't imagine someone like him being interested in someone like me."

"Just because you can't imagine it doesn't make it any less true. I mean, look at you!" She gestured the dress now. "How did you not have a little black dress before now, by the way?"

"Yeah, I know. The dress is amazing, and it does look good on me…"

Leah cut me off. "No, _you_ look good in _it_."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said that it looks good on you. And frankly, Bella, you're always like that. I don't mean to sound overly harsh, but you've got really sucky self-esteem for someone who's supposed to be helping others with rebuilding theirs."

I thought about that for a minute. She was right. And with not much more thought than that, I could immediately place the source of my poor self-esteem. And I felt the need to remind her that my issues weren't entirely my fault. "Jacob told me…"

She interrupted me again. "I don't give a rat's ass what Jacob told you," she said harshly. "Jacob was a complete jerk to you, Bella, and you need to move on. You need to get him out of your mind and allow yourself to be strong again. Now," she said, as if the matter was closed, "are you going to buy this dress or not? Because you look fabulous."

I wasn't ready to drop the whole Jacob thing yet, but I knew that Leah wouldn't hear anything more about it. Not today, anyway. "Yeah," I said, standing from my seat and looking in the mirror one more time. I really did like the dress. It was perfect. "I am going to get the dress."

If I'd thought that simply buying a new dress—and matching shoes—would be enough to appease Leah that I was ready for my date tonight, I was sorely mistaken. We went out for lunch at a little café after I'd purchased the dress and as soon as we'd all finished our grilled sandwiches, Leah announced that we were going to the salon next. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. "What do we need to go to a salon for?"

She just rolled her eyes at me, not bothering to answer. And so, I was dragged along to the beauty parlor where my hair was trimmed, curled, pinned, and I'm not entirely sure what else. There was a lot of hairspray involved, though. When that was done, I was moved to another chair where a second woman went to work on my fingernails. When the manicure was done, thankfully, I was told by my friends that we could finally go back to my apartment. That announcement was music to my ears. And my feet. I hoped Edward didn't have dancing planned for tonight, I wasn't sure I could handle that.

At six o'clock, Emily applied my make up for me, giving my eyes a sexy, smoky look that I could never perfect. After completing the look with a light red shimmering lip gloss they helped me into my new dress ("That's why I told you to where a button up shirt, today," Leah said, "so you wouldn't mess up your hair taking off a t-shirt."), nylons, and shoes. We managed to find a silver bracelet and necklace that set off the whole ensemble nicely. I was deemed 'ready to go' at six-forty, and Emily and Leah left at six-fifty wishing me "Good luck" and "Have fun." That left me ten minutes to wait for him to arrive. Which I did, rather nervously. I only hoped that he'd be on time for this date, not late like he always was for our sessions. I looked at the clock on my stove every ten seconds or so, and as soon as the numbers moved from 6:59 to 7:00, my buzzer sounded, indicating a visitor.

**Thanks for reading! As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts. See you next Thursday!**


	5. The Sweet Smell of Seduction

**Hi everyone, thanks for all your wonderful comments, we really love hearing them. We always reply to reviews and it's lovely to get to know who's reading. Links for the songs in this chapter are on our profile.**

**As always we don't own Twilight if we did we would have to work out a rota for who gets Edward otherwise Caz would keep him to herself. (Yep, I sure would lol)**

Chapter 5: The Sweet Smell of Seduction

EPOV

"Yes!" I exclaimed triumphantly pumping my fist in the air as the elevator doors closed. _Nice work Cullen, real smooth. _I silently congratulated myself on the moves I'd just pulled on the Doc. I couldn't wipe the shit-eating grin off my face as I recalled the way things had gone down in the Doc's office. Things had worked out better than I'd imagined. When I'd suggested that she come out with me tomorrow night, I'd expected her to shoot me down in flames and toss my sorry ass out of there. Instead she'd been dumbstruck, completely fazed by my proposition and I'd seized my opportunity.

With the first phase of Operation Panty-Drop complete, all I had to do was press my advantage and seal the deal. Which, in all honesty, would be easier said than done. A woman like Isabella would require very careful handling. I'd have to put some serious effort into this date to impress her. It had been a long time since I'd needed to make any effort where women were concerned and I started to wonder whether I was out of my depth here. I needed a plan and I knew just the man to help me come up with one.

When the elevator doors opened, I strode quickly across the lobby, yanking my cell phone out of my pants pocket. Once I was out on the street, I hit speed dial one. "Shit," I muttered as it went straight to voicemail. That lazy fucker was probably still asleep. I would have to go over there and haul his sorry ass out of bed yet again. I chuckled to myself as I walked to the Volvo, recalling the countless number of times I'd shown up at my best friend's place only to find him comatose and nursing a hangover. Jasper and I had been friends since college and he was the best wingman a guy could ask for. He certainly had a way with the ladies, and with his southern charm and good looks, he was never short of female attention. He and I had been an unstoppable force in college, scoring dates with the hottest girls on campus and covering each other's asses in many a sticky situation.

Twenty minutes later, after stopping off at Starbucks for coffee and muffins, I let myself into Jasper's apartment. The place was a mess. There were beer bottles strewn all over the coffee table, pizza boxes and more bottles covering the countertops in the kitchen. I chuckled to myself as I made my way towards the bedroom. _Looks like the guys were here late last night. _Jazz usually tidied up before crashing, unless he was too drunk, of course. "Jazz," I called, throwing open the bedroom door.

Jazz was passed out on the bed, lying on his stomach with one arm tucked under the pillow the other dangling over the edge. I marched over to the bed and gave his arm a gently kick. "Jazz, wake up you lazy fuck."

Jasper groaned and pulled the duvet up over his head. "Fuck off," he mumbled.

I grinned and tugged the duvet off of him. "Good morning to you, too."

Jazz rolled over on to his back and rubbed both hands over his face before propping himself up on one elbow and shooting a murderous glare at me. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he said groggily, his voice thick with sleep.

I threw the bag of muffins at him. "Bringing you breakfast. Now get up, you miserable shit." I heard Jazz sigh and flop back on the bed as I turned and walked back into the living room.

I sat down on the sofa and began removing the lids from the two large paper coffee cups. "Jazz! I said get up."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Jasper muttered as he shuffled into the room, clutching the bag of muffins in his hand and flopped down into the arm chair opposite me. "Jesus, Cullen, give a guy a break would ya?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I replied, grinning at him as I handed him his coffee.

Jazz took a large gulp of the hot liquid then leaned forward and began searching the coffee table. "Here," I said pulling my cigarettes from my jacket pocket and tossing them on to the table along with my lighter.

"Thanks," he muttered taking one out and lighting it. "I thought you quit?"

"Yeah, so did I," I laughed, retrieving the pack and lighting one up myself. "Wild night?" I raised an eyebrow at him and nodded toward the bottles strewn all over the table.

"Something like that." He chuckled, then leaned back narrowing his eyes at me. "Now, care to explain what the fuck is so important that you felt the need to come barging in here, this God-damn early in the morning, like you own the friggin joint?" He took a long pull on his coffee eyeing me curiously over the rim of the cup.

"It's not early you lazy ass! Some of us were up hours ago; besides, I have a hot date tomorrow night and I need your help," I replied before taking a sip of my own drink.

"Pardon?" he blurted, spluttering his coffee all over himself. "Did you just say you had a date?" I nodded my head grinning at him. "Fuck, this is serious." He laughed, attempting to clean himself up with his t shirt. "I thought Edward Cullen doesn't do dates?"

"He does now," I said, taking a long draw on my cigarette before adding, "And I need to impress this woman, big time. So, are you going to fucking help me or sit there making smart ass comments?"

"Chill out, Edward. When have I ever let you down?" He rose from the armchair grinding out his cigarette in the ashtray. "Come on, you can give me the details while you help me clean up this shit hole."

I explained the events of that morning to him while we worked. By the time we'd tidied up all the mess we had phase two of Operation: Panty-Drop all planned out. I headed for the door, taking the trash bags we'd filled with me. "Still on for that beer tonight?" Jazz called from the kitchen.

"Sure, I'll meet you at eight," I said, opening the door.

"Usual place?" he responded.

"Where else? Later dickhead," I yelled as I walked out, not bothering to close the door behind me.

"Later, fuckward," he hollered after me as I headed down the corridor. After depositing the trash bags in the garbage chute, I trotted down the stairs and out the building whistling to myself as I went.

-x-

Next morning, I woke up before the alarm and minus the usual Saturday morning hangover. I leapt out of bed and headed for the bathroom, eager to get started on my plans for this evening. I reviewed the plan in my head as I showered. Jazz had suggested that I cook a meal for the Doc at my place, to show her I'd really made an effort. So I was going to pull out all the stops; fancy food, candles, soft music, the fucking works. Jazz said it was a sure-fire winner, one that had never failed him, and that she'd be putty in my hands by the time I served dessert.

Once I'd showered and dressed, I headed for the kitchen in search of coffee and breakfast. I'd remembered to set the timer on the coffee maker last night so a nice fresh pot was ready and waiting. I quickly poured myself a large cup and grabbed a blueberry muffin and a banana from the cupboard. Breakfast in hand, I made my way to the sofa, setting everything down on the coffee table, before retrieving my laptop, cell phone and iPod from the bedroom. While the laptop booted up, I sipped my coffee and scrolled through the music on my iPod looking for suitable seduction music. Jazz had suggested Al Greene, Barry White mixed in with some classic Marvin Gaye. Although I had an eclectic taste in music, my tastes didn't extend quite that far, so I decided to download some of Jazz's suggestions.

I'd decided that cooking myself this evening probably wasn't the best way to impress the Doc. While I wasn't a bad cook, my repertoire of dishes didn't include anything fancy. With that in mind, I pulled up Morton's website and perused their menu, while the music I'd selected from iTunes was downloading. After about five minutes of trying to decide what to order I had a flash of inspiration. I Googled 'aphrodisiac foods' and found a list of the top ten. I clicked back to the menu and made my selections managing to incorporate four of the top ten, (asparagus, avocado, oysters and chocolate) into my menu for this evening. I didn't order the food online as some of my choices weren't offered on their "to go" menu. I was sure this wouldn't be a problem as I was a regular at the restaurant. Plus, Shelly, the manager there, would do anything to further her chances of getting in my pants.

With the music downloaded and my menu planned, I polished off my breakfast before grabbing my clothes for this evening and heading over to Garrett's place. Garrett was a movie director friend of mine who I'd met through work. I'd stayed at his condo for a couple of weeks while the contractors put the finishing touches to my new place. Garrett was still away filming on location somewhere in Mexico, so I hadn't had a chance to return his keys. There was no way I could bring the Doc to my place, which still resembled a warehouse, what with boxes stacked everywhere waiting to be unpacked. Besides, Garrett's condo in the Escala building was far more upscale and I was dying to put his huge whirlpool tub to good use. All in all, it would be the perfect setting in which to seduce the Doc.

At 6:30 that evening I stood in the lounge of the condo dressed and ready to go. The food I'd ordered had arrived. As predicted, it had been a breeze sweet talking Shelly into not only allowing me to order what I wanted from their menu, but also into getting it delivered as well. My iPod was hooked up to Garrett's sound system in the lounge and the dining table was set with his fanciest cutlery. I'd placed candles on the table and turned the lights down low creating the perfect atmosphere. All I had to do now was stop off at the florist on the way and pick up the flowers I'd ordered. I gave one last approving glance around at my handiwork and grinned. Mentally patting myself on the back, I strode out of the door, confident that by the end of the evening, Dr. Isabella Swan would be flat on her back screaming my name in ecstasy.

-x-

I checked my watch for what felt like the hundredth time in the past five minutes; 6:58. I leaned back against the wall of Isabella's apartment building and took a long pull on my cigarette. _Okay, Cullen, this is it. Stay focused and stick to the plan. Don't go charging in there like a dog in heat. Remember what Jazz said. Take it steady and romance her, make her feel special, work up to it, seduce her. Make her want you._ "Yeah, right," I muttered to myself. _That's easy for him to say, he hasn't seen the Doc and doesn't know just how irresistibly sexy she is._ Keeping my hands off her was going to be a major fucking problem. Fuck, I'd almost lost it yesterday in her office. How the hell I'd stopped myself from throwing her down on the desk and kissing the shit out of her, I'll never know. I smiled at the memory of her sitting on the edge of her desk trembling and breathless, my face only inches from hers. _Calm down, Cullen. At this rate you'll be humping her fucking leg as soon as she opens the damn door. _Tossing my cigarette butt I adjusted myself in my pants and checked my watch again. 6:59. I took in a few deep breathes to compose myself, squeezed my eyes shut and willed my over eager cock into submission. I pushed myself away from the wall, and clutching the bunch of flowers in my left hand, I ran my other hand through my hair, took one last deep breath and pressed the buzzer.

She quickly buzzed me in and I took the stairs to the first floor two at a time. _Easy, Cullen. Slow it down, be cool._ I knocked on the door and leaned casually against the wall, my right hand in my pants pocket. When she opened the door a few seconds later my jaw nearly hit the floor. She looked sexy as fuck, wearing a little black dress that showed off her slim curves to perfection. Her hair was up in some fancy style exposing her long, slender neck and her full red lips glistened and shimmered. I felt my cock twitch in my pants as she smiled shyly, looking up at me through her long lashes.

"H- hi," I stammered, thrusting the flowers at her. "You look amazing."

"Er, thanks," she said in a nervous voice, a deep blush spreading across her cheeks as she took the flowers from me. "I'll just go put these in some water."

I stood in the doorway taking a deep breath, struggling to bring my raging hormones under control, and watched her walk to the little kitchen. "Wow, Edward, these are lovely," she said over her shoulder placing them in a vase with some water. "Two dozen red roses. Is it Valentine's Day already?" She chuckled as she turned back to face me, setting the vase of roses on the counter.

"No, I just wanted to get you something special. Is there something wrong with buying beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman?" I asked, smiling sweetly at her.

"Not at all," she replied picking up her jacket and purse from the counter. "I'm just a little shocked that you went to so much trouble. And that you're not late."

"It was no trouble." I moved over to her quickly and took her jacket from her and held it out for her to put on. "And I'd be a fool to keep such a beautiful woman as you waiting," I said softly leaning in close, my lips almost touching her earlobe as she slipped her arms into the jacket.

"It's never stopped you before," she quipped, pulling away from me quickly.

"Ah, yes, but this is different. That was business, whereas this..." I placed my hand on the small of her back, ushering her toward the door and leaning in close as she moved slightly in front of me. "_This_ is most definitely pleasure."

After she closed and locked the door behind us, I led her down the stairs, keeping my hand in the small of her back, grazing my thumb against her spine gently every so often. I held the door open for her and once out on the sidewalk, I took her left hand in mine and placed it in the crook of my right elbow. Smiling down at her, I walked us steadily toward my car.

"Where are you parked?" she asked glancing up and down the street

.

"Right there," I grinned, pointing at my Aston Martin Vanquish that was parked at the side of the road in front of us.

"Oh, I thought you drove a Volvo." I looked at her curiously raising one eyebrow. "Er, I-I mean I saw you getting into a Volvo after therapy the other week," she stuttered looking down at the ground.

"I do. The Volvo's for everyday use," I said as we reached the car and I opened the door for her. "This little baby is for special occasions."

She got carefully into the car and I leaned in slightly. "While the Volvo is a nice car and does have certain advantages, like a bigger back seat," I winked at her, "I thought you deserved to be driven in style." I flashed her a smirk before closing the door and striding around to the driver's side.

"So, you must have a very good job if you can afford a car like this," she said as I climbed in.

"Not really. The Vanquish belonged to my Grandfather. He and I shared a passion for fast cars and he left it to me, among other things, in his will." I gunned the engine and pulled away from the curb.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't realize," she said quietly, smiling at me sadly.

"No worries, Isabella, it was a few years ago now." I smiled back at her letting her know I wasn't upset, before changing the subject. "I hope you're hungry."

"Starving actually. Where are we going?"

"Oh, just a little place I know. It's very exclusive." I chuckled as I turned on the CD player. "I hear the chef is excellent."

We drove in silence the rest of the way to Escala, the Doc staring out of the window and me humming along to Kings of Leon.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, looking at me in confusion as I turned into the underground parking lot. "I wasn't aware there was a restaurant in the Escala building."

"There isn't," I replied parking the car and climbing out, rushing round to her side to get the door for her. "I've prepared a meal for us myself." I tried to sound casual about it as if it was no big deal.

"You've cooked a meal for us, at your place?" She looked a little shocked as she gingerly climbed from the car. I nodded at her, smiling.

"I thought we'd have a little more privacy here than in some restaurant. I didn't want some waiter staring at my gorgeous date all night." She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. _Shit, she was on to me already, she knew I'd brought her here to put the moves on her. _"Besides, I didn't know how you'd feel about being seen with me in public. I wouldn't want you to get into any trouble for dating me so soon after being my therapist. I thought you'd be more comfortable maintaining a low profile for awhile." I smiled at her reassuringly, offering my arm to her.

"Oh, okay. In that case, it was very thoughtful of you Edward." She smiled at me and took my right arm as we walked to the elevator. "I just hope you didn't go to too much trouble."

"Not at all. Any effort it took was completely worth it just to see you in that dress. You look absolutely gorgeous." I let my eyes roam hungrily across her body as we entered the elevator.

Once inside the apartment I helped her off with her jacket, pressing my body in close to hers and making sure to brush her shoulders lightly with my knuckles in the process. Isabella shivered slightly at my touch and I smirked. The way she responded to my closeness was amazing. Sex with her would be incredible, if the effect I had on her with the merest brush of my fingers was anything to go by.

"Make yourself at home," I said, leading her over to one of the large black leather sofas in the living room. She perched on the edge of the couch and as I turned on the stereo; the sound of Barry White's _Let's Get It On _filled the air. "I'll be right back," I winked, before rushing into the kitchen and grabbing the ice bucket containing a bottle of champagne, two glasses and the tray of oysters.

When I returned, the Doc was still perched on the edge of the couch fiddling with the hem of her dress, her eyes flitting around the room nervously. After placing everything on the large glass coffee table, I deftly opened the bottle and poured the champagne. She looked at me wide-eyed as I handed her a glass and sat down next to her.

"Champagne and oysters, Edward? Wow, that's a little extravagant for a first date isn't it?"

"What did you expect, Isabella, beer and pizza?" I chuckled. "A lady like yourself deserves the finer things in life. Now, stop worrying, relax and enjoy," I said, picking up two oysters from the tray and offering one to her.

"Er, I've never had oysters before," she replied, regarding it with suspicion.

I held the oyster up to her lips leaning in close to her. "I'm sure you'll love them. Just tip your head back, don't chew, just swallow. Relax your throat and let it slip down, then take a sip of the champagne," I purred. Her eyes were fixed on mine as she tentatively opened her lips, allowing me to tip the oyster from its shell into her mouth. I felt myself harden as she tilted her head back swallowing it down quickly before licking her lips slightly and taking a sip from her glass. "Well?" I tilted my head at her questioningly.

"They're okay. A little slimy, they feel strange when you swallow them." She pulled a sour face before taking another sip of her drink. I smiled at her and quickly swallowed down my own turning my head away to hide my grimace as I reached for another one.

"The sensation is a little strange at first but you soon get used to it," I assured her, handing her another one trying desperately not to think about slimy substances sliding down her throat. _Jeez, Cullen, you're a sick fuck._

I coaxed her into eating half of the oysters on the tray, bravely swallowing down four of the slimy little fuckers myself, before refilling her glass and excusing myself to the kitchen, saying I needed to put the finishing touches to dinner. Conversation had been a little awkward so far. The Doc hadn't relaxed at all and I was beginning to worry that I'd gone a little overboard with this whole seduction thing. I had to find away to get her to relax. Maybe a little shoulder massage would help her loosen up.

Once I'd plated up our avocado salads and carried them to the dining table in the far corner of the large main living area, I lit the candles and walked back over to the sofa holding my hand out to her. She looked up at me over the rim of her glass taking a sip before putting her other hand in mine, rising slowly from the couch. "Dinner is served, M' lady," I said, picking up my glass and the bottle of champagne in one hand and leading her over to the table. I pulled her chair out for her after placing my glass and the bottle on the table. Standing behind her as she sat, I placed both hands on her shoulders. "You're a little tense, Doc, allow me to help loosen up these stiff muscles for you," I whispered, as I leaned my face down towards her ear feeling her stiffen beneath my touch. "Relax, Isabella, I won't bite. Unless you want me to of course." I chuckled softly and began to massage the muscles in her neck with my thumbs. _Damn, her skin's soft. _My cock twitched in excitement as I imagined pressing my lips to her throat and nibbling gently. _Later boy, later._

"That won't be necessary. I'm fine, thank you," she replied curtly pulling away from my grasp and turning her head to the side to look up at me. "This salad looks lovely, I'm sure you're dying to taste it?" She gestured to my plate.

"Yes, I am _dying_ for a taste," I said softly, licking my lips and looking pointedly at hers. She swallowed thickly and turned away from me picking up her fork. A disappointed sigh escaped my lips as I moved to take my seat opposite her.

"It's a nice place you have here, Edward. I've always wondered what these condos were like inside. Have you lived here long?"

"Er, a couple of weeks." I picked up my fork, taking a bite of avocado. "Actually, this isn't my place, it belongs to a film director friend of mine who's been kind enough to let me stay here while my place was being remodeled. I've just moved into a new place across town."

"Oh, so where is your friend this evening? You didn't kick him out of his own home did you?" she asked, reaching over to pick up her glass.

"Not at all." I laughed, placing my hand over hers on the champagne flute. "Don't worry, no one's going to barge in on us unexpectedly. My friend's away on location in Mexico." I stroked the back of her hand gently with my thumb, leaning forward to gaze into her eyes. "We have the place to ourselves the whole night."

She looked a little flustered as she dropped her gaze to the table and pulled her hand away from mine to take a sip of her champagne. "You really didn't need to go to all this trouble you know. I'm sure we would have been fine just catching a movie or something. I doubt anyone would have recognized you as being one of my patients."

"_Ex-patient,_"I reminded her. "And I've already told you, it was no trouble. Besides, I wanted us to be alone, somewhere private." Seeing the pointed look she gave me I quickly added, "Somewhere... where we could talk and get to know each other. That would be a little difficult in a movie theater and I just didn't trust myself to sit close to you in the dark. There would be too much temptation to behave inappropriately." I smirked at her, raising my eyebrows. "So, tell me a little about yourself, Isabella."

We made small talk as we ate the rest of our salads, my iPod playing quietly in the background. I made sure to keep the conversation on her, taking every opportunity I could to complement her. The Doc would blush and look flustered every time I did and kept trying to steer the conversation away from herself.

I got up from the table to go serve our main course while the Doc used the bathroom. I noticed her eyes widen as she glanced toward the half open bedroom door on her way past. _Shit, I've left the fucking door open!_ I rushed over there, quickly closing it once the Doc was inside the bathroom, not wanting her to see the candles and the other bottle of champagne and glasses I'd put in there earlier. I made my way swiftly into the kitchen and removed our food from the oven where I'd left it on low to keep warm. I'd removed all the food from the containers earlier and placed it in serving dishes, in case she wandered into the kitchen and saw the takeout cartons. I hastily plated up our meal of Filet Mignon, Lyonnaise Potatoes and steamed jumbo asparagus.

"Something smells lovely." I looked up just as I'd finished to see the Doc standing in the doorway.

"Not as lovely as you do." I smiled, walking over to her carrying the plated meals. "What is that scent you're wearing, by the way?" I leaned in close toward her neck, inhaling her scent, my nose gently brushing the soft skin just below her earlobe.

"R-Red Delicious by DKNY," she stammered, pressing herself back against the door frame in an attempt to create some space between our bodies.

"Hmm, it certainly is delicious," I whispered pulling back slightly to look into her eyes. "You smell very edible, you're making my mouth water." I licked my lips suggestively smirking down at her and moving my face a little closer to hers.

"Really," she said skeptically, raising one eyebrow as she wriggled away from me out of the doorway. "Well, that food you have there is making mine water. Let's go eat, before it gets cold." She turned and walked back to the table. I followed after her and set the plates down before heading back to the kitchen to grab the bottle of red wine and fresh glasses.

I returned to the table and began pouring us each a glass "More wine? Are you trying to get me drunk, Edward?" she queried, her voice taking on an icy tone.

"Not at all, this wine just complements the food better than the champagne," I reassured her, taking my seat and handing her a glass. "Perhaps you should take your time with it. I wouldn't want you getting tipsy. You might get frisky and try to take advantage of me." I gave her a cheeky wink and began eating my food.

"Yeah, I'm sure you'd _hate_ for that to happen," she quipped, picking up a spear of asparagus and taking a bite. "Hmm, this asparagus is yummy. Were you aware it's considered an aphrodisiac? In fact, now I come to think of it, so are oysters and avocado. We'll have to be careful one of us doesn't get carried away." She took another bite, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Really? I had no idea," I said innocently, picking up a spear of my own and sucking gently on the tip before taking a large bite. "I must remember to tell my mother that, she serves these dishes all the time at dinner parties. In fact, it was her who suggested I serve them this evening."

The Doc shook her head slightly and glanced over at the stereo where Al Green's version of _Here I Am, Baby (Come and Take Me)_ was now playing. She chuckled softly to herself and continued eating her meal. I ate my food, keeping the conversation light hearted and away from tricky topics such as my family and their opinion of me, despite the doc's attempts to garner information from me. I kept our wine glasses topped up and maintained the romantic atmosphere by being as attentive to her as possible. I flirted with her a little making sure not to overdo it and stay charming. I added a few little touches here and there that I'm sure she loved, like pushing a strand of hair back behind her ear caressing her cheek lightly in the process and leaning over to stroke her knuckles occasionally as we talked.

When I served dessert, I decided it was time to put Jazz's theory to the test. I increased the volume on the stereo and selected Marvin Gaye's _Sexual Healing _from the play list on my iPod. I returned to the table with a single portion of chocolate mousse and only one spoon. The Doc eyed me warily, as I sat in the chair next to hers and turned her chair slightly toward me. "I didn't know how much room we'd have left for dessert, so I thought we could share," I explained with a smile, scooping up a small spoonful and holding it up to her lips. She rolled her eyes at me and slowly opened her mouth looking amused. _YES! She's fucking loving this shit_. I grinned at her devilishly and ate a spoonful myself then swept my tongue seductively over my bottom lip as I stared into her eyes. I slipped my arm across the back of her chair and leaned in closer, offering her another mouthful. She shifted a little in her seat before taking the spoon slowly between her lips, her eyes locked firmly on mine. The air around us crackled with sexual tension, the electricity flowing between us. _Okay, Cullen, it's show time. Easy does it, be careful not to spook her. _When I fed her the next spoonful, I made sure to smear a little chocolate at the corner of her mouth. "Oops," I said before sweeping in quickly and removing it with my tongue. Isabella stiffened in her seat and snapped her head away from me.

"That's enough," she declared, abruptly rising from her chair. "I've had it with your cheesy little seduction scene. I agreed to go out with you this evening because I _foolishly_ believed that you actually wanted us to get to know each other." She stood there hands on her hips glaring down at me. "Yet, I know as much about you now as I did when I walked in. I stupidly thought that there was more to you than your cocky, arrogant, womanizing ways. Well, you've certainly proved me wrong on that score Edward. I should have known I'd be disappointed when I thought that maybe we could become friends." She sighed and her shoulders slumped as she shook her head and looked at me sadly, her watery eyes fixed on mine.

_You asshole, Cullen. Now look what you've done, she's fucking upset! Fix this you prick!_

"I'm sorry," I rose from my seat and took a step back from her raking the fingers of my left hand through my hair. "I was just trying to impress you, when what I should have done was be myself. All this flashy shit isn't me. I don't even fucking like oysters." I chuckled slightly and smiled down at her. "And you are not stupid. There _is_ more to me than the arrogant prick that you've spent the evening with." I paused, rubbing the back of my neck nervously, and took a deep breath looking into her eyes. "I like you, Doc, and really do want to get to know you. Will you give me one more chance to prove you right?" I asked sincerely. She stared at me for what felt like an eternity, her eyes gazing deep into mine like she was searching my fucking soul. She must have liked what she found because she gave me a grin and nodded.

"Okay, but no more funny business," she warned, giving me a stern look.

"Come on," I said, blowing out the candles before heading for the door. "Let's get out of here."

We took a cab over to Riley's Bar, mine and Jasper's favorite hangout. Jazz's band was playing tonight and the place was a little crowded. After ordering a beer and asking the Doc what she wanted to drink (she surprised the shit out of me by asking for a beer), I led us to a small table in the back. We spent the next few hours talking, laughing, drinking beer and just enjoying each other's company. She insisted I call her Bella like all her other friends, making me grin widely at her.

Toward the end of the night, Jazz came over and I introduced him to Bella. I explained to her that he was the motherfucker whose bright idea it was to set up the whole cheesy seduction scene in the first place. She laughed when I thanked him with a punch in the arm. Jazz insisted on buying her a fancy cocktail to apologize, and by the time we left the bar at 2 a.m., Bella was hammered.

I paid the cab and helped her to the doors of her apartment building. I pulled her in close to my side, holding her tight with one arm as I helped her fish her keys from her purse. Once inside, she wrapped her arms around my neck, giggling and began placing little kisses below my ear. My cock strained at the seam of my pants as I scooped her up in my arms. "Come on frisky, let's get you into bed."

I grinned down at her as she threw her head back and giggled. "Ooh, Edward, I thought you'd never ask." I laughed as I took the stairs quickly, my excited cock throbbing like a motherfucker.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! We're thrilled that you're still with us, and would love to hear your thoughts on the much anticipated 'first date.' Reviews are better than Edward feeding you chocolate mouse (okay, maybe not but they still make us happy.)**

**Check out this story by our friend, Amelie. The story's called A Second Chance at Life, and her penname is BubbleRock81. She's got 6 chapters posted at the time of the writing of this author note, and her story is really great. "Bella leaves her hometown to create a new life. Everything seems to get better until she meets Rosalie. AH/Lemons." It's her first fic so give her a chance!**


	6. The Morning After

**Hi, everyone, thanks for all the wonderful reviews and comments for the last chapter. We really love hearing your opinions and reply to all your reviews. Check out the author's notes at the bottom for some great news. So, that's enough of our prattle back to Hornward and Drunkella.**

**We don't own Twilight but we do have two very understanding husbands who often get neglected while we pour out our pervy Robward fantasies for your enjoyment :).**

CHAPTER SIX: THE MORNING AFTER

BPOV

My head was pounding, my mouth was as dry as a bone and I had absolutely no idea where I was or how I'd gotten there. _What the hell happened last night?_ I could vaguely recall parts of it. I'd gone out with Edward. He'd picked me up at my apartment—in his super hot car—and taken me…somewhere fancy. We'd eaten and I'd spurned all of his rather blatant advances.

I opened one eye minutely and groaned, quickly closing it again. The spring sun was shining brightly and the light made my head pound even more. That was something I just wasn't prepared to deal with yet, the brightness. Instead, I kept my eyes closed and tried to recall more details from the evening. _Think, Bella, think. You have to remember more than that for goodness sake. _I concentrated as hard as I could, trying to shake the fuzziness from my brain. I tried to picture the events of the previous evening. _We'd gone somewhere. Somewhere… but where? _The fact that I couldn't remember any details troubled me.

I was suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea. The sensation was so strong and came about so quickly, I didn't even have time to make it to the bathroom. Hell, I barely had time to hang my head over the edge of the bed before I was emptying my stomach's contents. I realized afterward that I hadn't vomited on the floor. There was a trash can with an empty liner strategically placed by the side of my bed. _Well, that's lucky. How did I manage to put a barf bucket out if I can't even remember how I got here?_

Once the vomiting ceased, I felt something that I hadn't at first. A draft across my backside. That struck me as odd and I turned my head, only to be greeted with my own bare behind. Shocked and surprised at this, I peeked under the sheet. _Yep. Naked. How did I get naked?_ Yet another mystery from the previous night. The question of my nudity somehow helped a few other pieces of the puzzle fall into place.

The aphrodisiac foods. The shameless flirting. Edward's sudden drop of the facade. The bar. _Oh, the bar. How much did I drink?_ Enough to give me a hangover, that much was obvious. Especially as the alarm clock chose that moment to start blaring. The sound felt like a jackhammer was pounding away inside my skull. The _beep-beep-beep _seemed to bury itself in my brain, making it impossible to focus on anything else. I groggily rolled over the other way, back into the blankets, toward the offending noise. With my eyes still closed against the morning sun, I swatted the table several times, blindly searching for the right button to shut up the clock. After what felt like hours of noise, I finally pried my eyes open long enough to catch sight of the clock. I still couldn't spot the _off _switch and the throbbing in my head was becoming unbearable. I grabbed the whole thing and pulled the cord from the wall. _Finally, quiet. _I flopped back on the pillows and laid there, naked and twisted in the sheets, trying to remember what had happened at the bar. Or more specifically, what had happened between the time we'd left the bar and now. I was still coming up blank.

It was then I decided that despite the brightness, maybe I should at least try to gather some clues from the previous night. I wasn't sure what clues I hoped to garner from my bedroom—at least I hoped I was in my own bedroom—but I had to try. I opened my eyes slowly, wincing but not giving in to the pain. After a few minutes, I was able to keep them open. I could even see the things I was looking at, and was able to make out a few details in the room; I was proud of myself for that. I was also pleased to see that I was indeed in my bedroom, at my own apartment. That was something; at least I'd made it home.

My hazy eyes drifted around the room, before skirting across the floor and landing on my new black dress. It was puddled on the floor between my bed and dresser, and as I lifted my eyes to the door, I was horrified to see my bra hanging precariously from the doorknob. My shoes were placed neatly by the side of my bed.

My eyes kept roving the place where my shoes were lying, searching for my panties; they were the one piece of clothing from my outfit that I hadn't located yet. That's when I spotted something unfamiliar. A wadded up pair of black socks. _What the hell are those doing there? I don't own any black socks. _These were obviously men's socks.

_What the hell happened last night? _I hadn't had a man in my bedroom in…well, since James, but he'd never even been in _this _apartment. And I wasn't about to think about him right now. Besides, James and I had broken up years ago.

I found myself hoping that these particular socks were Edward's. For one, I kinda liked him. He'd been way over the top at first, during the meal, but when he realized that he wasn't impressing me, he'd changed his approach and we'd ended up having a good time. _He's actually a really sweet guy when he's not behaving like an arrogant asshole. _For another, it would have been horrible of me to go out on a date with him and come home with someone else. Even intoxicated, that just wasn't acceptable.

At the same time, I couldn't figure out how his socks could possibly have ended up on my bedroom floor. _Oh, my god! Did I…?_ I couldn't even finish the thought. Sleeping with him, while something I'd imagined—several times—wasn't necessarily something I was sure I wanted to try in real life. I just hoped that the decision hadn't been made already.

I heard a key in the lock of my front door. _Shit, who the bloody hell is that? _I hadn't given copies of my key to anyone, so it was either the super of the building or someone with my key. That thought freaked me out and cleared my head faster than anything I'd tried so far. I pulled the sheet up around my nude body, all the way up to my chin, as I rose to a sitting position on the bed. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the door. Who the hell was about to come through that door?

I didn't have to wait long. Staring wide-eyed at the bedroom door, I listened as the front door opened, there were a few heavy footfalls, and the door closed again.

Those same heavy footsteps crossed the hardwood floor of my living room. I held my breath, too scared to breathe at this point. I considered making a run for it, hiding in the ensuite until whoever was here realized that the place was empty and left. But then I remembered that I was naked and on the off chance that the intruder did more than search the bedroom for any sign of life in my apartment, I would be toast. So rather than scurrying to the safety of my bathroom to hide, I hunkered down into my bedding, trying to make myself as invisible as possible. I felt like a small child hiding under the covers from the monsters that lurked in the closet. Yet, for some strange reason, I felt a little safer under there. _Jeez, Bella, like a sheet is really going to protect you from an axe-wielding maniac_. I found myself hoping that maybe the person wouldn't even come into the bedroom at all.

That hope was dashed mere seconds later, when the door was opened, slowly, carefully; I probably wouldn't even had known that it had been opened at all except for the creaking sound it made. I couldn't hold my breath any longer and exhaled in a noisy pant. Lying there, frozen like a statue with my head buried under the covers, I just hoped that I'd be left alone.

I felt the bed shift next to me and a strong hand carefully removed the blanket from my head. I stared, watching the sheet fall away from my face. I know it couldn't have taken more than half a second, but it felt like an eternity. Fortunately, it wasn't pulled down any lower than my shoulders. Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, I was suddenly looking directly into the eyes of Edward.

"Holy crap! You scared the hell out of me!" My heart was pounding and I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. It wasn't an altogether pleasant feeling, but I wasn't sure it was necessarily unpleasant, either.

He smirked down at me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I figured you'd be pretty hung over after last night, so I brought you some coffee and breakfast." I sat up and eyed him warily, clutching the sheets to my chest. "Come on, eat. The sausage breakfast sandwich from the coffee shop around the corner is the best hangover food around. Nice and greasy."

"Gross," I muttered. "Greasy?"

"Just trust me," he said, pulling the white wrapped sandwich out of a plain brown bag. He opened the wrapper and handed me half a sandwich. I was still skeptical, but for some reason, I trusted him. Until the smell hit my nose. I had to fight back another wave of nausea as the greasy aroma invaded my nostrils. I slapped my hand over my mouth and tossed the sandwich back at Edward, searching desperately for that barf bucket.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but I can't eat that," I choked out.

"Yes, you can. I know it's gross, but believe me, you'll thank me later." He helped me sit back up, holding the sheet firmly in place, making sure I stayed covered. He offered me the sandwich again. I just looked at it, my nose wrinkled in disgust. And then he did something I never expected to see Edward Cullen do. He looked at me with the most adorable puppy-dog eyes I'd ever seen. "Please, Bella? For me?"

I lost the battle right then and there. Sighing, I took the sandwich from his hand and took a tentative nibble. After choking down a few small bites, I set the sandwich down on the night table. "You said you brought some coffee, right?"

"Yeah. Here you go," he replied, handing me a cup. I took a small sip from the paper cup, and with my free hand, I rubbed my temple. "You'll probably want these, too." He stuck his hand in his pocket and brought out a small white bottle. He popped the top and handed me two Ibuprofen. I accepted them and swallowed them down together with one gulp of coffee. I turned slightly, trying to adjust my pillows. "Here, let me help you with that." He reached behind me and stacked the pillows up, plumping them up in the process.

I leaned back, tucking the sheet tightly around me and smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks."

Edward handed me the rest of my sandwich and stretched out across the foot of my bed before taking a bite of his own. "Come on. Finish it, please? You'll feel better soon, I promise." We ate in silence for a few minutes and by the time I'd finished the sandwich I _had _started to feel a little better. Of course, I'm sure knowing that it was just Edward in my apartment and not some random intruder wanting to hurt me helped, too.

"So, what happened last night?" I finally asked. I hated the fact that I didn't know, but the proof was in the pudding; my clothes were strewn all over the room, panties still missing, and his socks were here, too.

He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. Just tell me. Please?"

"Alright, if you're sure." He looked down at me, like he was silently asking me to change my mind. I wasn't going to, though. I _needed _to know. After a full minute, he sighed again and started speaking. "You were completely wasted. I should never have let you drink so much. I apologize for that."

"It's not your place to tell me what I can or cannot do," I interrupted harshly. _How dare he!_ I was a completely autonomous adult. If I wanted to drink on a date, I bloody well was going to drink on a date.

He raised his hands in surrender at my tone. "Fine, fine. Whatever. Anyway, you were drunker than I've ever seen anyone. And that's really saying something. I had to make sure you made it home safely. And it's a good thing I did as you very nearly fell down on the stairwell. Several times." He chuckled at me playfully.

I blushed dark red. "It doesn't take alcohol to make me fall on the stairs," I mumbled.

"Well, regardless, after seeing that, I knew you shouldn't be alone overnight. Wouldn't want you to choke on your own vomit or something. So, we got back here a little after two in the morning, and you couldn't find your keys. I was holding you up with one arm, and with the other hand, trying to find the key to this place. Finally, I did and we made it in. I helped you to your bed, took off your shoes for you, and covered you up."

_Oh my god he put me to bed, that means he had to have undressed me. Oh shit, Edward Cullen saw me naked! _I blushed a bright shade of scarlet as heat flooded across my face and I looked down clutching the sheet closer to my chest. "Did you, er, I mean, did you see...?"

Edward cut off my desperate stammering. "Don't worry, I didn't see a thing. You undressed yourself after I put you into bed. And you would have undressed me too, if I'd have let you. You get quite frisky when you're drunk, you know."

I glared at him. "So, I was all snug in my bed. That doesn't explain why you're here now."

A broad smile crossed his features. "Well, like I said, when I realized just how hammered you were, I knew I couldn't leave you here alone all night long. So I made the decision to stay."

My eyes popped in horror. "Did you…? I mean, did I…? Did we… you know," I dropped my voice to a whisper, "have sex?"

"What the fuck? Jesus, Bella, what kind of sick fuck do you think I am?" Edward snapped, sitting bolt upright and dragging his hand roughly through his hair. "I have never - nor will I ever - sleep with a woman when she's in the sort of condition you were in last night. If you think me capable of something like_ that,_ then there's clearly no point in us continuing this any further." He swung his legs off the bed to leave, but I quickly grabbed his arm.

"Edward, wait. Please don't go. I'm sorry. I just thought... well, you said I was frisky and I know you wanted to er... oh hell, I mean, you tried to seduce me earlier in the evening, so I just assumed that you would have still wanted to..." I broke off and looked at him, pleading for him to understand. "It's just that I don't remember getting home and my clothes are all over the place. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm so sorry."

"Bella, believe me, I wanted to, but I would never take advantage of you or any other woman in that way. I'm a little hurt that you'd even think for one second that I would. But I guess I can't blame you for being concerned after the way I behaved." He sat back and gave me a small smile. "Let's not worry about that now okay? All I did was put you to bed. I promise."

I smiled back at him and changed the subject on to a less delicate topic."Weren't you drinking, too, though? How did you manage to take care of me so well?

"I didn't drink as much as you did. I could kill Jasper for buying you that cocktail after all the other drinks you'd already had." His voice was low and almost menacing. _Jasper?_ I thought for a moment then a blurry image of a handsome guy with blonde hair and a southern drawl came into my mind. _Edward's friend in the band, right?_ I was glad that it was Jasper he was directing his rage at now and not me. Frankly, I hoped I wouldn't be there the next time Edward saw him. He seemed pretty mad. Suddenly, his demeanor changed, and he was back to being the calm storyteller again. "Besides, I can hold my liquor."

Before I could say anything he continued his tale. "I had actually planned on sleeping here, in the bed with you—on top of the covers, of course—but you were getting pretty out of control. I was sitting here, on the edge of the bed, taking off my shoes. I'd brought you a glass of water to drink, so you wouldn't feel so ill this morning, but you somehow managed to spill the entire thing all over my feet before you drank any. I'm still not entirely sure how you managed that." He eyes gleamed mischievously, and I again got the impression that he was suppressing laughter. "So, I took off my socks, too. They were still wet this morning, that's why I didn't wear them when I went out for breakfast."

"Of course they're still wet. You didn't lay them out properly." Even hung over, I could see the ridiculousness in that.

"Hey, just because I wasn't as drunk as you doesn't mean I wasn't buzzed," he told me, offering a defense.

"Okay, so we're here, you've put me in my bed, taken off your own shoes and now-wet socks. That still doesn't explain how I got…er, in my current situation." I blushed and looked down at the sheet, my only form of cover at the moment.

He grinned wickedly at me. "Like I said, it wasn't me having trouble controlling myself last night." My blush went from pink to red; I felt my face heat several degrees. "I'd gotten my shoes and socks off, and stood to go get something from the other room—I don't even remember what now, but it's not important. Well, you weren't having that. No sooner had I tried to step away from the bed than your hands were all over me, pulling me back down." If I'd thought I was blushing before, it was nothing to what was going on in my body now. "I knew that I'd never take advantage of you in that state though, so when I realized what you were doing, I made the decision that sleeping in the bed with you wasn't going to work. I extracted myself from you and you didn't seem to like that too much. That was when you started taking off your clothes."

"No, I didn't!" I whispered in horror.

He just nodded. "You did," he confirmed. "I was over there," he pointed to the dresser, "walking to the living room to sleep on your couch for the night, when your dress hit me in the back of the head. Believe me, Bella, knowing what you wanted—well, what you _thought _you wanted—and walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I mean, it's no secret to either of us that I want you that way. But like I've told you several times now, I don't take advantage of women. I may sleep with a lot of them, but I prefer them to be conscious when I do."

"You know, that makes me respect you, _a lot,_" I finally said, very quietly.

"Thank you," he replied, matching my tone.

With the details of last night's date no longer a mystery, I looked up at Edward and asked, "So, what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you have to go?" I recognized the longing in my voice. I didn't realize it at first, but it was very clear now, I wanted him to stay.

"Oh. Er, I guess I hadn't thought it through yet," he said, running one hand roughly over the back of his neck.

"Well, I'd like if you stayed," I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe we could really get to know each other since last night was so…well, between you putting the moves on me at dinner, and then me getting drunk out of my mind afterward, it wasn't really the best first date ever, eh?"

He laughed. "I suppose not."

"So what do you say? Stay? We can order in something for lunch and watch a movie or something."

"You're sure?"

I smiled. "Yeah. I'm sure. Although, on second thought, let's skip the food. I'm not sure my poor stomach could take it."

"Alright, if you're sure you want me to stay, I will. Besides, you're going to feel like shit for a while and I do have medical training. Hey, we can play doctor and patient." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, grinning like an idiot.

I laughed; apparently my laugh was infectious, because he laughed right along with me. I started to move, to get out of the bed, but the shifting fabric of the sheet reminded me that I was still undressed. "I probably should put some clothes on now, before we do anything."

"Oh! Yeah, probably," he agreed. "So, I guess I'll just go wait out in the living room, then."

"Yeah, good idea."

"Okay." He stood from my bed and walked the short distance to the door and smiled at me again before turning to leave. _If I wasn't already naked, I'd definitely be considering it after that grin. Holy hell, he's sexy! _Just as he was closing the door he popped his head back in. "Oh, and Bella?" he added. I looked up at him. "If I _had _had sex with you last night, you _would _have remembered." He smirked and closed the door.

-x-

I was amazed at how comfortable things were with Edward. It required virtually no effort and now, with all pretenses dropped, we discovered that we actually had a fair amount in common. We had the television on, but only watched it sporadically. We found some old sitcom reruns on cable, and every time I was able to quote a line along with the characters, he laughed at me. For the most part, though, we just talked and laughed together. Edward insisted on taking care of me, not letting me do anything for myself, despite my many protests. He made sure I always had a full glass of water within arm's reach. According to Edward, between the greasy breakfast he'd brought me and all the water, I'd be all better within a few hours. I had my feet up on the couch, and I was covered by my favorite blanket, leaning against the arm of the sofa. Edward was sitting on the other end, leaning against the other arm, facing me while we talked.

Around what would normally be considered 'lunch time,' I still wasn't ready to eat, but I heard Edward's stomach grumble loudly. I laughed at him this time. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"You shouldn't apologize for an involuntary reaction," I told him. "Besides, I should be a better hostess. This is my place, and you've been the one taking care of me all day. Let me get something for you."

"No, it's okay. Really. You don't need to cook for me. I'll just go fix some popcorn or something. Do you have popcorn?"

"Yeah, I think so. If I do, it should be in that small cabinet, right above the microwave."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

I watched him rise gracefully from the couch admiring his backside as he walked away. There was a faint murmur of approval from the cheerleading squad, who were currently recovering from last night's coup that they had manage to orchestrate thanks to my alcohol befuddled state. I found myself wishing that the island in my kitchen either didn't exist or was a little lower so I could continue ogling his ass. I sighed in frustration and cursed whoever it was that designed kitchen islands in the first place.

I focused on my water, knowing that it had been a little while since I'd had any and that Edward would notice. He was very observant, I'd noticed that today. Anytime I went more than about fifteen minutes without a drink from the glass, he reminded me that the water would help me feel better quicker than anything else. So, a moment later, while I listened to the popcorn popping in the microwave, I polished off the water.

He returned with a large bowl full of popcorn and before he'd even sat down, said, "Why don't you drink a little more of your water? Then I can refill it for you."

I smiled and handed him the empty glass. "I'm way ahead of you."

"Nicely done, Doc. I'll teach you how to nurse a hangover yet."

"You know, I think I'd rather just not experience this again," I said, laughing.

"Aw, where's the fun in that?"

I rolled my eyes at him. He walked one more time to the kitchen, returning with my water glass full again. "So, what's next on the agenda?" he asked.

"Well, my favorite movie's on today. I always take note of when it'll be on TV and watch it. I was planning on doing that today, but if you don't want to, that's okay. I can just catch it next time."

"What movie?" He looked at me with something of a cross between interest and trepidation. I could almost hear him wondering what my favorite movie would be. Honestly, I was a little afraid to tell him. It was a classic, but not many people my age really liked it.

"_Casablanca,_" I said.

"Really? Your favorite movie is _Casablanca_?" His eyes lit up.

"Yeah."

"That's one of my favorites, too. Put it on," he said, gesturing toward the television set. _Yet another thing we have in common, _I thought happily.

I rotated my body, placing my feet on the floor and scooting over closer to him. When he looked at me questioningly, I said, "So I can share the popcorn easier." It was a complete lie; I had no interest in the popcorn, but it made for a good excuse to sit closer to him.

With our thighs now touching, we sat there, watching the movie. It could have been awkward and uncomfortable, being so close, close enough to feel his body heat through the thin fabric of his dress pants. But it wasn't. It was nice. _I'll show Jake. Leah was right and he was wrong. I _can _do this._

"Hey, wake up, Doc," was the next thing I heard. I blinked, looking around, trying to regain my bearings. Edward's arm was stretched out across the back of the couch, and my head was nestled just below his collarbone, my cheek pressing against his chest. "Nice way to treat your favorite movie," he teased, smiling down at me. "Falling asleep?"

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Feeling any better?"

I sat up and stretched, testing my muscles. "I think I do, yeah," I said. I smiled. He really did know what he was talking about. "Thanks for being here today. Even if I ended up sleeping through most of the day."

"Aw, no you didn't. The day is still young. It's only, what…?" He pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and pressed a button to illuminate the screen. "Not even four o'clock yet." He set the phone on the end table, not putting it back in his pocket. "We've got plenty of time left today. Unless you want me to go?"

"No," I answered, probably too quickly. I blushed. "I mean, if you want to go, then you can, of course, but I'd like it if you stayed."

"I'd like that, too. Doc." He tacked on his little pet name for me to the end, and I winced.

_I wish he wouldn't remind me._ Every time he called me 'Doc' I was reminded of the reason he was here with me: to prove a point and get out of coming to therapy. What other reason would a guy like him have for wanting to date me? _He's so good looking and I'm so...well, look at me._

My bladder chose that moment to start complaining about all the water I'd drunk during the day. I cursed silently, not really wanting to get up from Edward's side, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in for long. I had probably close to two gallons of water in my system, thanks to Edward. I pushed away from the back of the couch and stood awkwardly. "I'll be right back," I mumbled, nodding my head toward the bathroom in explanation.

I scurried away before he had a chance to respond. The urge was really strong; I didn't know how I'd slept with my bladder so full, so I just ducked quickly into the guest bathroom, rather than going all the way back to my private one. I closed the door behind me and as soon as I'd finished, my eyes caught sight of something on the floor. I walked nearer to investigate. _My missing panties! How did those get in here? _I quickly snagged them off the floor and shoved them in my pants pocket, hoping that Edward hadn't seen them yet. My face heated at the very thought that maybe he had. _Well, regardless, it's too late to do anything about it now._

I washed my hands slowly, contemplating things. I couldn't believe the way I'd behaved last night. It was so different from who I usually was. According to Carlisle, Edward was supposed to be the one with issues. After last night, though, it looked more like I had a problem. I knew that I didn't, of course, but if I was being honest with myself, I'd behaved abysmally. And frankly, finding my underwear here did nothing to assuage those feelings. I may have found them, but I still didn't know how they had gotten off of my body. _Oh my god, please don't tell me I'd flung these at Edward too._ That thought alone caused me more stress than just about anything else.

I turned off the water in the sink and quickly dried my hands before exiting the bathroom. I returned to my position on the couch, right next to Edward, desperately trying not to think about any incidents of panty flinging. "So, is it all classic movies you like, or just _Casablanca_?" Edward asked once I was situated.

"Depends on the classic," I replied.

"Well, _Gone With the Wind_ is on next. I've never seen it myself, but I'm game if you are?"

"Sounds great. Actually, I've never seen _Gone With the Wind _all the way through, either. I know the famous lines, of course."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," Edward declared in a poor imitation of Clark Gable. I shook my head at him and laughed.

Edward resumed his position of arm resting over the back of the sofa, legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle, just to the left of my coffee table. I leaned back into the sofa cushions, looking forward to another couple of hours watching the TV. As the opening credits rolled across the screen, I found myself already distracted. My eyes kept darting back and forth between the screen and Edward's legs. They were so… long and masculine. Perfect. I'd rather have looked at his face, but I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that I was having a hard time focusing on the movie. After all, he'd had the manners to ask me if I wanted to watch it and I'd agreed. I should at least be polite enough to watch the damn thing.

So I stared at the screen, being very careful not to allow my eyes to roam. And I realized that gazing at the screen while a movie is on is not the same as _watching _the movie. At one point, I tried to listen to what the actors were saying, but it didn't make sense, so I gave up. I'd missed too much already.

If I wasn't going to be able to focus on the movie, I decided that as long as I didn't get caught, there was no harm in sneaking peeks at Edward. Being careful to move only my eyes, I started at his feet. He was barefoot, having taken off his shoes…well, I didn't know when. Even his feet were beautiful, though. I'd never been particularly fond of feet; they kind of grossed me out. But not Edward's feet. His feet were just as attractive as the rest of him.

My eyes drifted up past his ankles to his pants. Normally, he wore jeans. I'd never seen him in anything else. Every time he'd come to my office for a session, he'd been wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But today, he was wearing black slacks. I remembered these from our date the previous night. _He really went all out for that. And then I messed everything up by drinking too much. _Because of the thinness of these pants versus jeans, I was able to feel the muscles in his thighs tensing and flexing against mine. My spine tingled at the thought of his legs rubbing against mine.

My eyes drifted up a little further, past his belt to his black-with-gray-pinstripes button-down shirt. I'd never seen the chest underneath the shirt, and now I found myself wondering what it looked like. The cheerleaders were holding up signs, each with a single letter on it: H-O-T. I shut them down. The last thing I needed right now was to start squirming. I turned my attention back to the television, and tried once more to focus on the movie.

I actually managed to get into the story for awhile and found myself caring what happened to Scarlett, Rhett, Ashley, and Melanie during the war. I was frustrated when the station break came on and it was time for commercials.

"Are you hungry yet?" Edward's voice startled me.

I looked over at him. "Oh, um…" I paused, not sure whether or not I was. My stomach answered for me by grumbling loudly. We both laughed. "I guess I am."

"I know just the place."

"Er, Edward, um…" I stammered.

"I know, I know. You're still worried about the whole doctor/patient thing right? Don't worry, they deliver." He picked up his phone from the side table where he'd laid it at the start of the movie and quickly dialed, tapping the numbers on his touch screen. He lifted the phone to his ear and spoke quickly. I didn't realize that I hadn't been listening to him order until he said, "Okay, food'll be here in half an hour."

I looked at him, focusing on his face rather than just ogling it, processing what he'd just said. "Wait a minute. How did you know the address here?"

"You gave it to me yesterday and," he tapped his temple, "I've got a good memory. You'll learn that about me. I don't forget things."

My mouth stretched into a smile. I had a feeling that those four little words would come back to bite me on the ass later. I didn't really care, though. The movie was back on by this point, but I was lost again. Edward somehow managed to get right back into the plot, or he was just a better actor than I was. Either way, every time I cast a sideways glance at him, he seemed to be engrossed in the film.

As I continued to watch him for longer and longer stretches at a time, I marveled at the perfectly chiseled lines of his jaw and cheekbones. They were worthy of praise. Genetics had done him well, that was certain. _He's so beautiful._ _What could he possibly see in me? _I dropped my gaze to my lap and my own brown hair flopped over my eyes. A single word floated through my mind, in a familiar voice. _Frigid. _That caused a whole new wave of insecurities to wash over me and the thoughts were coming fast and hard now. _What am I doing here? Why did I ask him to stay? There's no way I would be able to satisfy him. He's far more sexually experienced than I am._

My thoughts were interrupted by the buzzer sounding, indicating that our food was here. I started to get up to respond to it, but Edward gestured that I should stay seated. He walked over to the intercom, buzzed the delivery boy up and returned moments later with a large bag of food. "All that for just the two of us?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why?"

"It just looks like a lot of food," I said.

"Well, if there are any leftovers, you can have them for lunch tomorrow at work. There won't be though, so don't get your hopes up." He chuckled.

We ate soup, pasta and bread until I thought I was going to throw up again. During the last scene of the movie, I pointed my breadstick at the screen and said, "You know, Vivien Leigh is really pretty."

"She's okay," Edward conceded. "I do like brunettes, that's for certain. Although, she's got nothing on you." I blushed and dropped my head, wishing I hadn't said anything at all. "Hey." I raised just my eyes, acknowledging that he'd spoken to me. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. You need to learn how to take a compliment, Doc. If you're planning on spending much time around me, you'll need to get used to it. Because I plan on complimenting you a lot."

_He is so charming! _I had a hard time reconciling this Edward with the son Carlisle described. After all the events of the past twenty-four hours, I was now fairly sure that Edward did not have a serious problem, certainly nothing approaching the gravity of a sex addiction. Someone addicted to sex wouldn't have just put me to bed last night and they certainly wouldn't have slept on the couch. However, there could be other underlying issues that were influencing his behavior. Commitment phobia or fear of abandonment, maybe. I'd have to be patient and get to know him a lot better before I could draw any firm conclusions.

We leaned back and talked for another hour after the food had disappeared—he'd been right, there were no leftovers; the man could _eat_—until the sun dipped below the horizon, making my apartment feel suddenly dark. "I should go," he said.

I wasn't prepared for the feeling I felt at those words. I was incredibly disappointed; I didn't want him to go yet. I liked having him here. _You can't keep him here, though. _"Alright," I said, my voice tinged with sadness. He put his shoes on his naked feet, sans socks, and I said, "So, do you want me to wash your socks for you? I mean, I have to do laundry tomorrow, anyway."

"Are you offering to do my laundry, Isabella?"

_How does he manage to make a simple act like washing his socks sound like a kinky sex act?_ "Well, I mean, it's just that, you know, I was the one who soiled them," I stammered.

He laughed at me. "It's okay, you don't have to wash my socks. Do you have a plastic bag? I can just take them with me."

"Of course." I walked to the kitchen and retrieved a disposable grocery bag, then took it to the bedroom where I picked up his socks and deposited them in the bag. He was standing by the front door when I returned to the main room, waiting for me. "Here you go," I whispered, handing him the bag.

"Thank you," he whispered back.

We stood there, at the door of my apartment, not speaking again, not moving, not touching, just looking at each other for a long time. "Er, I'll be off then," he muttered his gaze still locked on my face.

"Okay," I replied nervously, biting my lip. I was unsure of what to do. _Should I move in closer for a kiss or not?_

I took a small step closer looking up into his face; I could feel my teeth digging into my bottom lip as I chewed on it nervously awaiting his reaction. Edward's eyes drifted across my features before finally settling on my lips. He placed his hand underneath my chin and gently pulled my lower lip from between my teeth with his thumb as he leaned in closer. His eyes were dark and hooded as he lowered his mouth to mine. I felt my own eyelids flutter to a close as he brushed his lips softly across mine. It was only a whisper of a kiss but it sent my body into overdrive. My heart hammered in my chest and a soft moan escaped my lips. I opened my eyes at the sound of his voice.

"Until next time, Bella," he whispered his face still only inches from mine.

I stood there, breathless and unable to move as he quickly turned and left without giving me the chance to say anything else.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are better than Edward helping you nurse a hangover... maybe.**

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**Our first character interview is going to be none other than everyone's favorite heartthrob Edward Cullen. Edward has agreed to take a break from attempting to seduce Bella, composing music and pissing off his dad to answer your questions. So if you have any burning questions you want the sexy Mr. Cullen to answer just let us know. Whether it's story related or something more personal you'd like to find out about, just leave us a comment on our blog or pop them in a review. We look forward to receiving all your questions, the funnier and more embarrassing the better, so let your imaginations run wild.**

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	7. Cuddles and Confrontations

**Hi everyone, thanks for all the wonderful reviews and comments for the last chapter, we really appreciate them.**

**As always, we don't own Twilight or Edward (sigh) but if we did, he would be the shirtless one and not Jacob. **

Chapter 7: Cuddles and Confrontations

EPOV

I walked out of my agent's office and toward the parking lot, a wide smile on my face. My meeting with Laurent had gone really well and he had a few offers of work lined up for me. One in particular interested me more than the others. Garrett had recommended me to a colleague of his and I had an appointment with him the following Tuesday to discuss the possibility of me composing the score for his new movie. This movie had the potential to be a big hit at the box office and it would would really propel my career forward if I could land this gig. I was in the mood to celebrate, and as I approached the Volvo I wondered if Bella would like to have lunch with me.

I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since I'd left her place on Sunday evening; it was only Tuesday morning and I'd nearly called her a hundred times between then and now. _I have to see her again, and soon._

Saturday night hadn't gone remotely the way I'd planned, yet I found myself smiling at the events of the evening. I'd really enjoyed her company at the bar, and that was a first for me. Normally women bored me shit-less after about an hour or so, but just like I'd expected, the Doc was different. The more I found out about her, the more I wanted to know.

She'd seemed a lot more relaxed at the bar and appeared to enjoy my company. She was fun to be with when she let her hair down, and was funny as fuck when she was drunk. Not to mention frisky as hell. She'd tested my restraint to the limit when I'd put her to bed and I still wasn't sure how I'd resisted her. I felt myself harden as I remembered kneeling in front of her taking off her shoes, her fingers running through my hair. Her legs and looked fucking amazing in those shoes and I'd wanted nothing more than to run my hands over her slender calves and up her shapely thighs. I'd come pretty damn close to breaking my rule of not sleeping with an intoxicated woman. When she'd thrown her dress at me I'd run out of there like the place was on fire, knowing if I stayed any longer I'd end up doing something I'd regret.

How the hell I'd managed to drag my ass out of her place the next evening without ravaging her I'll never know. She'd looked sexy as fuck on our date the night before but that was nothing compared to the sight of her in a tank top and yoga pants. _Those pants would be the fucking death of me._ They'd clung to her ass like a second skin, much to the approval of my over eager cock. If that hadn't been enough to drive me nearly insane with lust, the vision of her wrapped in that sheet had. It had taken every ounce of willpower I possessed to stop myself from climbing under there with her. If she hadn't been so hung over, it might have been a very different story.  
As it was I'd managed to reign in my libido and we'd spent a very pleasant day together. I still couldn't believe how much I'd actually enjoyed it. We'd talked for hours and just like in the bar I'd felt completely comfortable with her. It was like we'd known each other for years. I didn't even get annoyed when she'd started quoting the lines to one of my favorite shows along with the characters. That was a pet peeve of mine and it drove me absolutely bat shit crazy when Alice did it.

One of the reasons I'd quit medical school was because sick people drove me nuts. While I'd found the science side of it immensely interesting, my bed side manner had left a lot to be desired. Yet when it came to the Doc, I'd loved taking care of her and was reluctant to leave at the end of the day.

Despite reminding myself repeatedly all day that she just wanted to be friends, I hadn't been able to resist kissing her when it was time for me to leave. I'd brushed my lips gently across hers and somehow managed to pull away without shoving my tongue down her throat. My already hard cock twitched at the memory of her petal soft lips against mine and I decided there and then to call her and ask her to lunch.

-x-

I walked out of the elevator into the reception area of the Doc's office an hour and a half later, and came face to face with a very surprised Bella. After getting her voicemail repeatedly and not wanting to call her office and speak to Jane - who would want to know why I was calling - I'd decided just to head on over there and ask her in person.

When I saw the look on her face I immediately knew that this was a bad idea. She did not look happy to see me. What the hell had I been thinking? I couldn't just turn up here and take her out. I was an ex-patient for Christ's sake. _Think of something quick, you idiot, before you land her in the shit._

"Ah, Dr. Swan, just the person I was hoping to see," I said in what I hoped was a business-like tone. Bella was standing in front of Jane's desk and I strode toward her confidently; panic was written all over her face as I approached. "I was in the area and was wondering if you had managed to compile that list of suitable psychologists for me yet? I was hoping to be able to set up an appointment with someone as soon as possible." I gestured with my eyes toward Jane letting Bella know what I was up to.

"Actually, Mr. Cullen, I have," she replied, looking more than a little relieved. "It's in my office, along with some paperwork I need you to sign authorizing me to release your files to another doctor. If you'd like to step into my office we can get your transfer finalized."

Bella walked to her door and held it open, gesturing for me to follow her. "Of course," I responded, following after her and giving her a quick smirk as I entered.

"You can take your lunch break now, Jane. I'll be leaving myself just as soon as I've dealt with Mr. Cullen's referral. Just tell Jessica at the main desk not to put any calls through until you return. I don't have another appointment until two o'clock, so I might get a little shopping done while I'm out. If there are any problems, you can reach me on my cell." Bella finished giving instructions to her secretary and entered the office, swiftly closing the door behind her.

"What the hell are you doing here, Edward?" she spat in a harsh whisper. "Are you trying to get me into trouble?"

"No, I just came to take you to lunch," I replied, ignoring her harsh tone. "I had some good news earlier this morning and wanted someone to help me celebrate. I tried to reach you on your cell but kept getting your voicemail. I didn't want to call the office and have to explain what I wanted to Jane. So, as I was already in the area, I thought I'd come and whisk you away." I quickly flashed her a lopsided grin. "And don't worry, I have a cover story should anyone see us leaving together. I won't let you get into hot water with your boss, I promise."

She looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before responding. "Well, you did give a good reason for being here in front of Jane, so, I guess I'll forgive you this once. I'll just grab that paperwork for you to sign, it allows me to pass your records on to another doctor and makes you _officially_ no longer my patient. I can fill the rest of the details in later but at least this way I'm covered should anyone start asking questions."

After I signed the forms, we headed for the elevator. "So, you can take a long lunch then, if you have no patients until two." I grinned at her, glad that I was able to spend more time with her. "Shall we?" I asked, gesturing with my arm for her to enter as the elevator doors opened.

"Doctor Swan, could you spare me a moment before you leave for lunch?" a stern voice asked from inside the elevator. I had been too busy grinning at Bella to notice that there was someone waiting to exit the elevator and judging by the panicked look on the Doc's face, it was someone who shouldn't be seeing us together.

The tall redheaded woman strode past us without waiting for Bella to reply. "Er, of, of course Victoria," Bella stammered, turning away from me to follow her down the corridor to the left of the elevator. They entered the office at the end of the short corridor and Victoria closed the door, without giving me a second glance. _Shit, Victoria! Bella's boss. _This couldn't be good.

I quickly moved up to the door so I could hear what was being said. I didn't want to pry into Bella's professional business, but if this was about her getting caught leaving with me, then I needed to know. I wasn't about to stand here while she got into trouble because I was an impatient prick who couldn't wait to see her.

As I neared the door, I heard Victoria's voice. "Isabella, I'm sure you are aware that fraternizing with patients outside of the office is simply unacceptable behavior for someone in your position," she admonished loudly. "If you are seeing one of your patients socially, then I will have no choice but to fire you on the spot and report you to the board of ethics."

_What the fuck? _The bitch wasn't even giving Bella chance to explain. _I'm not standing here listening to this shit._ Without thinking twice I gave a loud knock on the door and walked commandingly into the room. "Excuse me for interrupting, Doctor; I couldn't help but overhear. I believe I can explain the situation. I'd hate for Dr. Swan to get reprimanded for something that is a misunderstanding and entirely my fault." I smiled straight at Victoria.

Bella stood off to my left, as white as a ghost, a look of shock etched on her beautiful features. Victoria eyed me suspiciously from behind her desk, obviously a little taken aback by my abrupt entrance. "Misunderstanding Mr. Cullen? How's that?" she asked in an icy tone.

"Well, as I'm sure you're aware, Dr. Swan is an old friend of my father's," I replied calmly, still smiling at her and holding her gaze. "I am having lunch with him today, and when he heard I had to stop by here to sign some paper work for my referral, he asked me to invite Dr. Swan to join us. That is why you saw me escorting Dr. Swan into the elevator; I insisted she let me drive her to lunch after she attempted to decline my father's offer, due to car trouble. And since I am no longer a patient of Dr Swan's, I just didn't see the harm in it. Now, I hope you'll forgive my intrusion but I simply could not allow Dr. Swan to be reprimanded while I stood idly by. If Dr. Swan joining us for lunch today would in any way compromise her, then I'll call my father and tell him that unfortunately she'll be unable to attend." I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and eyed Victoria questioningly.

"No, that's fine, Mr. Cullen. Now that you've adequately explained the situation - and as you are no longer a patient here - that won't be necessary. Dr. Swan is more than welcome to luncheon with yourself and your father if she wishes. I'll walk you both out." Victoria walked out from behind her desk and gestured to the open door. "Isabella," she said as we walked past her into the corridor. "I hope you'll forgive me for jumping to conclusions, I didn't realize that Mr. Cullen was no longer a patient of yours. There is absolutely no problem with you socializing with him under these new circumstances. If you could have the paperwork on my desk after lunch, everything will be fine."

"That's okay, Victoria," Bella said in a quiet voice, still reeling from the events of the last few minutes.

We walked quickly to the elevator and said our goodbyes to Victoria before the doors closed and Bella let out a massive sigh of relief and grabbed my elbow.

"Oh, Edward, thank god that's over. Thank you so much for barging in there like that. I didn't have a clue what to say when she confronted me. I just panicked. I was sure I was going to lose my job. And I'm pretty certain I would have if you hadn't have burst in and explained. I'm so glad you already signed those papers or I'd be up to my neck in it"

"There's no need to thank me Bella," I said smiling down at her. "You would never have been in that position if I hadn't turned up here today without thinking. Like I told your boss, it was entirely my fault. Besides I promised I wouldn't let you get into trouble and Edward Cullen never breaks a promise."

- x-

I decided to take Bella to lunch at Morton's, as they had a great lunch menu and I was guaranteed to get a good table. Once we were seated and we'd ordered our food, I saw Shelly exit the kitchen and head toward our table, a broad smile on her face. _Oh, fuck. Cullen, you idiot this is not going to go down well. _

"Edward, it's lovely to see you again," she enthused as she reached our table, standing close to my chair, completely ignoring Bella. "And twice in one week, we are honored."

"Hi, Shelly," I replied, returning her smile. "You know me. I'm a sucker for your steaks; besides, the service is always excellent."

"I'm glad you think so. I hope the food we delivered for you Saturday evening was up to scratch. Did your sister enjoy it?"

I heard Bella gasp and looked over to see her quirking an eyebrow at me, a bemused smile on her lips.

"Er, yeah she did and the food was fantastic. Thanks again for doing that," I said, looking back at Shelly.

She placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned down, her lips only inches away from my ear. "Anything for you, Edward. All you have to do is ask," she purred, running her hand across my shoulders.

I gulped and looked nervously at Bella lean away from Shelly. "Erm, thanks," I mumbled. _Now you've got some explaining to do, asshole._

Just as I was sitting there, trying to think of a way to get rid of Shelly before she could grope me any more, the waiter arrived with our food, coming to my rescue. "I'll leave you to enjoy your lunch. Remember to call me if you need anything," Shelly said, slowly dragging her fingers across the back of my neck as she moved away from our table.

"Humph," Bella snorted as she watched Shelly walk away before returning her gaze to me, a questioning look on her face. "Food delivery, Edward? And for your sister, no less?"

"Er, yeah, about that," I responded giving her a lopsided grin and running my fingers through my hair. "I should have cooked for you myself, but like I said the other night, I was trying to impress you. So, I kinda sweet talked Shelly and got the food delivered from here. I could hardly tell her it was for a hot date with a beautiful woman, now could I?" I paused, rubbing the back of my neck. "So, I sorta told her that my sister had lost her job, and I wanted to cheer her up by getting her a fancy dinner in, as she didn't feel like going out. I'm really sorry, Bella. I was going to tell you that I didn't cook that meal. Honest." I held my hands up apologetically.

Bella looked down at her plate and shook her head before looking back at me and bursting into laughter. "You should have seen your face, Edward. You looked like you'd been caught with your pants down by your mom," she said trying to stifle her giggles. "I knew there was no way you cooked that food. The kitchen was far too clean for one, and two, you just don't seem like the domestic type."

I exhaled sharply and grinned at her. _Phew, that was close. _"Hey, I'll have you know I'm actually quite domesticated. I'm fully house trained and everything. I even put the toilet seat back down," I declared proudly.

We enjoyed a leisurely lunch, laughing and chatting comfortably with each other, the awkward moment completely forgotten. Bella congratulated me on my news and seemed genuinely pleased for me. Just like the previous times we'd spent together, she seemed really relaxed. I was sure she enjoyed my company. Well, she did offer to come over after work on Thursday evening and help me unpack. She said she loved organizing things and I wasn't about to argue. Hell, I got to spend more time with her _and _get my shit organized. It was win-win as far as I was concerned. Inviting Bella to lunch had been a good idea after all.

Just as I opened the door of the Volvo for her (after leaving the restaurant), I heard a shrill voice scream my name. _Oh my god, Alice!_

I turned around quickly, just in time to see my sister barreling toward me. "Bloody hell. Not another one," I heard Bella mutter. Before I had chance to react, Alice leapt at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and kissing me enthusiastically on the cheek.

"For god's sake, Alice, calm down. Anyone would think you hadn't seen me for months," I said, chuckling as I peeled her off me.

"It's been five weeks, _actually._ I've missed you. I'm allowed to get excited," she said flinging her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. Bella cleared her throat loudly and I pulled away from Alice slightly, turning us toward her.

"Bella, you've never met my sister before, have you?" I asked, grinning at the shocked look that came over the Doc's face, as she realized exactly _who _was hugging me to death.

"Er, no I haven't." Smiling, she held her hand out to Alice. "Isabella Swan, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Cullen," she said.

Alice released me from her death grip, linking arms with me instead, and shook Bella's hand. "You too, Isabella, and please, call me Alice." My sister looked from Bella to me and then back to Bella again, before turning to me and narrowing her eyes slightly. "Edward, I have something for you from mom in my car, can you spare a moment to come and get it?" she asked tugging on my arm, letting me know I didn't have a choice.

Alice said goodbye to Bella and I assured her I'd be right back before allowing my sister to drag me toward her car that was parked just around the corner. As soon as we were out of sight, Alice let go of me and punched me in the arm. "What the fuck, Alice?" I rubbed my arm wincing slightly. _For someone so small, she's got one hell of a punch._

"Don't you 'what the fuck' me, Edward Cullen," she scolded poking me in the chest with one finger. "I could ask you the same thing. That's your therapist, isn't it?" I nodded, not daring to speak, as Alice stood, staring at me angrily, her hands on her hips. "Ugh! I don't believe you." She stamped her foot in frustration. "Dad is going to go ballistic when he finds out you're screwing your therapist. Jesus, Edward."

"First of all, I don't give a fuck what he thinks," I snapped. "It's none of his God-damn business. And for your information, I'm not screwing her. We're just friends."

"Really, Edward? _You _don't have female friends. _You_ have fuck buddies. You're trying to screw your way out of going to therapy aren't you?" she accused, raising one eyebrow at me and tapping her foot, waiting for me to deny it.

"Look, Alice, you know me better than anyone and I'm not going to lie to you. I'll admit that I _did _think about it. But I'm not fucking her." I combed my fingers roughly through my hair and sighed. "I like her, Alice. We get along, she makes me laugh and if I want to take her out I will, okay?"

Alice stared at me skeptically for a moment before breaking out into a smile and dropping her arms to her sides. "Okay, Edward, I believe you. But Dad's still going to freak out when he finds out." I opened my mouth to speak but she reached up and clamped her hand over it. "And yes, I know you don't care. Just don't make things worse, or I'll kick your ass, alright?" I nodded, smiling down at her from beneath her tiny hand. _Yep, she would, too. _If anyone could get away with kicking my ass, it was Alice.

"Okay, then, you better get back to your _friend,_" she said, stretching up to kiss my cheek, before spinning away from me and running the rest of the way to her car. "Love you. I'll call you later."

"Love you, too," I yelled after her, smiling as I turned and jogged back to the Volvo.

"Problems?" Bella asked, when I reached the car.

"Nah. Just Alice, being Alice," I replied nonchalantly. "Come on, I better get you back to work."

- x-  
I put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and leaned back against the counter glancing at my watch._ All done, with time to spare._ I silently congratulated myself at the speed in which I'd cleaned my apartment. Bella would be here in five minutes and I wanted the place looking clean and tidy. Especially after the comment she made at lunch about me not seeming to be the 'domestic type'. My eyes roamed around the place giving it one final check.

The converted factory was my pride and joy. It had belonged to my grandfather; he'd run his business out of here for years, and when the business had outgrown this place, he'd moved it across town. He'd loved this old building and had refused to sell it, saying it reminded him of where it all began. I remember coming here as a kid; on school holidays and weekends he'd bring me and Emmett to work with him and (despite our young ages) teach us about the business. I knew he hoped that one day me and my brother would take over the company. When I'd decided that it wasn't for me, I'd felt like I was letting him down. When he passed away three years ago, he'd left this place to me along with a letter telling me that he hoped it would inspire me to follow my dreams just like he had. That's why when I quit medical school to do just that, I knew it had to be from here that I launch my music career.

He'd also left me, along with Alice and Emmett, a share in the company and I'd used my income from that to convert this place. I'd converted the ground floor into two workshops and rented them out, keeping the top floor for myself. With Esme's help I'd turned it into a fantastic living space. It was an open-plan design with a brick archway separating the kitchen from the living room. The ceiling was very high with large oak beams running the length of the room supporting the roof. I hadn't wanted to put in a suspended ceiling as the acoustics in here were fantastic.

The walls were all red brick. All of the exterior walls were the original brick, and I'd gone to great lengths with my contractor to ensure the bricks used to add the interior walls matched them. Two of the walls in the main room each contained three huge, arch-shaped, leaded windows. The windows were perfect for providing tons of natural light all day long and the way the glass was beveled provided privacy as well. In the far corner of the room, two of the windows were flush against each other, making a double-sized corner window. Esme had made a feature of this by adding a window seat beneath them. It was in this corner of the room I'd placed my baby grand piano. The spot was perfect for composing music.

The floor was the original hardwood, that had been restored and varnished in a light honey color, which when combined with the large windows made the whole place feel even brighter. I'd purchased a large area rug for the floor, to go underneath my couch. It was plain, and the color of terracotta clay. It blended well with the brickwork of the room, giving the place a warm feel.

I'd had shelving built right into the walls between each of the windows. My stereo and sound system were near the piano with space on the shelves for my CD shelves nearest the flat-screen would house my DVDs and books.

Just then the buzzer sounded, pulling me from my thoughts and announcing Bella's arrival. I quickly buzzed her in and rushed out the door on to the landing at the top of the stairs. "Hi, Bella, come on up," I called. "Take the stairs, the elevator's temperamental and I don't want you getting stuck in there."

"Hi," she replied, smiling up at me as she ascended the wide metal staircase. "Thank God you warned me, I have no desire to spend the evening stuck in a metal box. Besides, that thing looks ancient. I'm surprised it works at all."

"It's the old goods lift. I only use it when absolutely necessary. It got stuck twice when I was moving my stuff in, luckily it was only the furniture that got trapped," I explained as I ushered her through the door into my apartment.

"Wow, Edward this place is amazing," she gasped looking around in awe. "I never imagined you to live somewhere like this." Her eyes roved around taking in the bare brickwork, high ceilings and large arched windows. "I love it. How the hell did you find this place?"

I explained to her the history of the building and how I'd come to own it as I showed her around, pointing out the original features that I'd kept as I went. After showing her the bedroom and bathroom, I led her back out to the stairway where we'd entered. "I want to show you something," I said, unlocking the other door that was situated opposite the stairs.

It led into a narrow corridor that opened out into another large open area. I'd done a little work in here restoring the floorboards and the wooden beams but it remained largely untouched. "There's still a lot of work to be done in here," I said turning to Bella as we entered. "When I have enough money I want to turn part of it into a recording studio, so I can record my compositions here rather than having to rent somewhere," I explained.

"This place is huge Edward, you could probably fit three rooms in here," she said, looking around in wonder.

"Yeah, the studio will probably take up less than half of this space. I'm not quite sure what to do with the rest. I might turn part of it into a gym so I can work out here too."

"That's a great idea and you can use the rest as storage, somewhere to keep all those empty boxes we're about to unpack," she suggested, giving me a pointed look.

"If that's not a hint to get on with it, then I don't know what is," I replied, chuckling. "Come on, I can see you're chomping at the bit to get organizing."

We spent the next hour unpacking the rest of the kitchen equipment and organizing my cupboards. When that was done, we ate takeout from the Chinese place on the corner, and then began to unpack the boxes of stuff that was to go in my living room. We chatted and listened to music on my iPod as we worked, me unpacking and Bella placing things on the shelves. She teased me about my CDs and DVDs being packed in alphabetical order, saying that she thought _she _was the organizing freak, not me. We laughed and joked about our similar and slightly OCD tendencies. We'd unpacked nearly everything when I came back from putting the empty boxes in my new 'Bella' designated storage area and found her holding my old high school yearbook. She'd found it, along with a family photo album-that she now held tucked under her left arm-in a box of books she'd been unpacking.

"Oh my God, Edward, look at you," she squealed, laughing at a picture as I approached. "You look so cute, I never knew you wore glasses."

"Oh no, you don't," I said reaching out to take the yearbook from her hands. She quickly stepped back holding it out of my reach and giggling as I tried to retrieve it from her clutches.

"What's the matter, Edward, afraid I'll discover what a nerd you were in high school?" she teased, turning and running behind the couch where she continued to read the page. "Chess club captain and a 'Mathlete'. Oooh, you were so cool." She looked up at me giggling and backing away as I rounded the couch in pursuit.

"Give it up, Swan," I said, trying not to smile as I made a lunge for the year book. Bella dropped the book and squealed, quickly backing away, putting the couch between us once more. She pulled the photo album out from under her arm.

"Let's see... What have we here?" she chuckled as we slowly circled the couch. She flipped through the album, making sure to stay out of my reach.

"Come on, hand it over. Don't make me come and take it from you," I warned as I stalked her. I rounded the couch and made a grab for her but she dodged me, quickly scrambling over the back onto the sofa. Standing on the cushions she held the album away from me, her eyes flicking between me and the pages.

"Ha, ha, a Jedi." She laughed looking at a picture of me when I was sixteen dressed as Luke Skywalker for Halloween. "I bet you still have your light sabre around here somewhere, don't you?" she teased. "You're not going to use the Force on me, are you Edward?" I rounded the couch again, creeping closer to her shaking my head and grinning.

"You're gonna be in so much trouble when I get my hands on you, Swan," I growled as I advanced. She continued laughing and hopped along the sofa cushions trying to stay out of my reach. She flipped to another page in the album.

"Oooh, Dr. Who pajamas. Very sexy." Giggling, she took her eyes off me to look at the picture. "When was this taken, last week?" she joked.

"That's it," I yelled. I dove across the couch, grabbing her around the waist and wrestled her on to the sofa, pinning her beneath me. Bella screamed and flung the photo album to the floor as she tried to escape.

"Let me go," she squealed, trying to maneuver her body out from under me, pushing at my shoulders with both hands.

"Not so fast." Chuckling as she wriggled beneath me, I managed to grab both of her hands, using my body weight to hold her in place, and pinned them above her head. "Now it's time for your punishment." I grinned down at her and gave an evil sounding laugh as I took both of her wrists in one hand. "I wonder if you're ticklish," I mused raising one eyebrow at her.

"No, Edward, please don't," she cried, giggling and still trying to escape.

"Nope, sorry. No mercy for you. This is for Mathletes and sci-fi fans everywhere." I leaned back on my haunches, straddling her hips and using my free hand began poking her in the side just below her ribcage. Bella screamed and wriggled around beneath me as I continued to prod, first in one side and then the other. I worked my hand up higher across her ribs tickling her mercilessly as she thrashed around beneath me, trying desperately to buck me off. She tried using her legs to gain some leverage, so I flattened myself against her, pinning her legs beneath mine and used my weight to hold her still. Tears were pouring from her eyes as she giggled and squealed uncontrollably. With her now firmly secured beneath me, I released my grip on her wrists, continuing my assault on her ribs with both hands.

"Stop... Stop... Please... I'm sorry...I'm.. Ah... Edward...Please!" she babbled breathlessly between giggles. Her little fists pummelled my shoulders as she writhed around under me, her head thrashing from side to side. I paused to allow her to get her breath back slightly and looked down at her, grinning. _God, she looks stunning, lying there all flushed and breathless. _Our eyes locked for a second and the next thing I knew, my lips were pressed against hers.

Her mouth moved gently under mine as she returned my kiss, her hands coming to rest on my biceps. My hands slid up her body and into her hair as I traced her bottom lip with my tongue before sucking on it gently. Bella's fingers gripped my shirt as she turned her head to the side, deepening the kiss. My tongue pressed against her lips, silently requesting entrance, and she answered my plea, her own tongue coming out to meet mine. Our tongues met and curled around each other as Bella moaned and moved one hand up into my hair, tugging at it gently. _Fuck, she tastes good. _I slid one hand behind her head to her neck, the other moving up to caress her cheek, my fingers brushing lightly over her soft, pale skin. I pulled back slightly and traced her top lip with my tongue before plunging it back into her hot wet mouth.

Her hips pressed up into mine and her legs parted, allowing me to settle between them. I took my weight on my elbow and massaged her neck, as my other hand made its way from her face, down her body, before finally coming to rest at her hip. I dragged my mouth away from hers and kissed my way along her jaw to her neck and began sucking furiously at the spot beneath her ear.

"Mmm, Edward," Bella gasped pushing her hips harder into mine, her hands running up and down my back and across my shoulders, tracing the hard lines of my muscles. My thumb drew circles on the soft patch of exposed skin above her hip and I pressed my hips back into hers, my rock hard cock seeking friction. I could feel the heat between her legs against my denim covered crotch and my cock twitched as she rocked her hips up to meet mine.

Our hips began a steady rhythm, rocking and thrusting against each other as I licked and sucked my way down the column of her neck and across her collar bone. I hadn't cum in my pants since I was in ninth grade and Denise Nichols let me feel her tits under the stairs in the science block, but if we kept this up, I was going to be a sticky mess very soon.

"Ugh, Bella," I moaned against her skin, reveling in the taste of her as I pressed my mouth into the hollow at the base of her throat. My hand left her hip and my fingers trailed gently up beneath her shirt, over her ribs to her breast. I palmed her soft mound, feeling her nipple harden beneath the fabric of her bra. _Fuck, she's responsive. _Bella moaned and pushed her chest further into my hand. I brushed my thumb across her hardened peak before pinching it gently through the lacy material, making her cry out in pleasure. Her hands shot up and clutched at my face dragging it back up to hers, her mouth finding mine in a sloppy, wet kiss. Our breathing became erratic as our mouths hungrily devoured each other, our bodies moving together in time with our racing heartbeats. I increased the tempo, as she wrapped her legs around my hips and ground her pussy against my denim covered cock, giving her the friction she craved.

We writhed together in a lust filled haze, exchanging hot, hungry kisses, hands frantically exploring the other's body through our clothing, dry humping the shit out of each other like a couple of hormone filled teenagers. Dragging my hand from her hair, I brought my weight up onto my arms, and pulling my lips from hers I smiled down at her. _She's so fucking beautiful. _I was about to ask her if she wanted to take this into the bedroom when the front door burst open._ Fucking hell!_

"Cullen, you prick, you in here?"

_Jazz, you're a fucking dead man._

**A/N **

**Just a quick reminder to check out our blog and leave us some questions for our upcoming character interview with Edward. Come on ladies use your imaginations and let's see if we can make Cullen blush lol. Don't forget teasers post on the blog on Mondays. Also let us know if you have a favourite fic that you'd like rec'd. **

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**Special note from wmr1601: Sorry to be so late in posting this chapter this week; Caz had computer troubles, and my son spent the day in the hospital today (don't worry, he's fine now), and it just wasn't possible to post before now. Thanks for understanding :).**


	8. Sister Knows Best

**Hi all and thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews we had for last chapter. It was the most we've had so far,although we suspect that Jazz's cockblocking may have had a little something to do with that.**

**Thanks to Kats Flower Girls for all the great questions for our Edward interview.**

**We'd also like to thank Keye Cullen for her fantastic review of "I want it painted black" by Saritadreaming, which you can read on our blog, and cosmom for the recs, which are posted there too.**

**We don't own Twilight, but if we did we'd be on the set of BD helping Rob practice all those sex scenes ;)**

BPOV

"What the fuck?" Edward practically shouted at the intruder as he clambered off of me. The cheerleading squad instantly launched an angry protest, jeering at me and waving their pom poms in frustration. I could sympathize with their disappointment; it had been far too long since anyone had had to clamber off me.

"Thanks for the warm welcome," the intruder's voice said sarcastically. Its owner was a lot closer now than it had been before.

"Well, did you ever hear of frickin' knocking? Jeez, Jazz," Edward snarled, adjusting his jeans as he stood. My face was hot; I just knew I was beet red.

"You ever hear of answering your fucking phone?" his friend retorted. When I felt comfortable enough to lift my gaze, I saw that it was Edward's friend from the bar.

As the two of them had it out verbally, I allowed my mind to wander. _How had this happened? _I'd come over as Edward's friend to help him unpack his boxes. We'd done that, and gotten along fabulously. It had been so comfortable and effortless talking to him. We'd even had a good laugh as I'd looked through his old yearbook. The funny thing about that was that I'd been part of the same clubs at my high school in Phoenix, where I'd lived with my mom.

When my thoughts reached Phoenix, they instantly turned to Jake. I shuddered slightly. I hated when my thoughts found him, because they would inevitably find James next. _Yeah, there it is, right on cue, _I thought bitterly. The only thoughts that were worse than Jake were those of James.

I _really _didn't want to think about Jake _or _James right now. I blinked a couple of times and looked around the room. It really was a beautiful space. Edward had done an amazing job with the remodel.

_Edward. I was at Edward's place. And he'd kissed me. A lot. _My thoughts were now coming at me fast. Too fast to even form complete sentences. _What have I done? _I had no business being here at all, much less doing what I'd done. I'd never been able to please a man in my life, and none of the men in my past held a candle to Edward Cullen. Honestly, none of them had ever really pleased me, either. I mean, yeah, I'd had sex plenty of times, but for the most part, it was always more a desire to keep my 'man' happy. Simply 'keeping him happy' wouldn't be enough for Edward though. _There was no way a guy with his level of experience would put up with someone who just lay back and thought of England_. Not that there was anything wrong with sex, but for me it was more like _been there, tried it, didn't really care if I ever made it back._

Edward was more in the category of _been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. And boy, did he have a lot of t-shirts._ I wondered if that was how Edward saw me: as another place to visit, a t-shirt to collect. I hoped not. I'd really gotten to like him this past week—now that he wasn't my patient. As a patient, he'd been horrible, but as a friend, I really liked him.

_Friend? _An internal voice snarled at me. _You think Edward Cullen wants to be your _friend? It felt like my heart skipped a beat. Or several. _Hell, maybe it had stopped altogether. _I recognized the voice immediately. It was the voice of every guy I'd ever been with, reminding me that I'd never be good enough for _any_ man. _And it's right._ _Edward won't be happy just being my friend forever. And he definitely won't be interested in me once I become just another notch on his bedpost. _It felt like we'd moved beyond that this week, but maybe I was just being delusional.

At that thought, my breathing picked up, and my heart, which hadn't been beating at all just moments before, was now turning somersaults in my chest. I was just getting ready to get up and leave, hanging my head in shame as I'd just narrowly avoided 'notch' status, when Edward's voice broke through my consciousness. "So what do you say, Bella?"

I blinked and tried desperately to remember what the two of them had been talking about but failed miserably. "I'm sorry, what?" My face flamed in embarrassment at my social faux pas.

Edward looked excited and spoke quickly, choosing to ignore my blunder. "Jazz needs me to fill in with his band on Saturday night. They're playing at Riley's. You wanna come watch?"

I paused, thinking that through. _Is he asking me out on another date?_ I didn't understand. He seemed to _like _spending time with me even though I hadn't given him what he normally wanted—and got—from women. Maybe on some level I really was getting through to him after all. _Who am I kidding? There is no way that that's the case._

On the other hand, I did like spending time with Edward. And I'd done a fair job of holding my own with him so far.

"Bella?" For the second time in as many minutes, Edward was interrupting my thoughts. While I was embarrassed at my sudden inability to pay attention—I'd never had this problem before; in fact, I'd be unemployed if this kept up—I was also glad that Edward had brought me back to the present.

"This Saturday?" I asked in an attempt to hide my distraction.

"Yeah." I looked at Edward's face; it was still alight with childlike excitement.

"I'd love to come," I told him. I couldn't turn down a face like that; it would have been like denying a young child candy on Halloween.

"That's great," he enthused, then turned back to his friend. _Jazz? Is that right? I think that's what Edward keeps calling him._

Before they could really get into another conversation, though, I spoke up. "Listen, Edward, I should really go. You've obviously got things to discuss with Jazz—"

"No. You don't have to go. Jasper was just _leaving_," he interrupted me, looking pointedly at Jasper and jerking his eyes toward the door. _Jasper! That's it. The nickname Jazz makes sense now._

"I was?" Jasper questioned, looking at Edward in disbelief. "Dude, what the frick is up with you? You've never turned me away before."

"Well, there's a first time for everything," Edward told him, standing and gesturing toward the door behind the sofa.

"No, really, I need to get home," I insisted. "Stay, Jazz, I'll go and let you guys work out the details for your gig." I turned to Edward. "Really. I've got to get some rest tonight. I've got plans in the morning anyway. I'll be there on Saturday night, though. I promise."

I couldn't quite read Edward's expression. He looked somewhere between anxious for me to leave so he could talk music with Jasper and longing for me to stay and his friend to go. It was impossible to tell which side was stronger in this instance. "Okay," he said with a sigh before turning to Jasper. "I'm going to walk Bella out. Stay here and I'll be right back."

Before Jasper could say anything, Edward reached one hand out to me and I accepted it. He pulled me off the sofa and kept hold of my hand as he led me across the large room to the door. We descended the stairs and walked out the main door of the former factory to the curb where I'd parked. "Thank you for a lovely time," I told him.

He placed his hands on my cheeks before leaning in and brushing his nose along my jaw. "The pleasure was all mine," he murmured in my ear. I shivered at the feel of his warm breath against my skin. Still holding my face in his hands, he pressed his lips firmly against mine. My breathing picked up slightly and my brain turned to mush; all coherent thoughts were lost as my lips began to move against his. Just at the point when I felt the urge to deepen the kiss, he pulled away. I suppressed a groan. "I'll see you on Saturday." His voice was barely a whisper as he released me and turned away quickly. He strode purposefully back through the door of the factory without another glance in my direction.

-x-

I'd been lying through my teeth when I told Edward that I had stuff to do on Friday morning. Honestly, I was a little surprised that he hadn't called me on it; Fridays were the days he'd had his appointments. Without him as a patient, my mornings were free again. I stayed late on Wednesday nights, leading a support group for sex addicts. Because I worked late one night a week, Victoria gave me Friday mornings off. I'd only been coming in early the past six weeks for Edward; it was back to that favor for Carlisle.

So, I found myself in my kitchen that Friday morning, opening my cabinets looking for something for breakfast. _Jeez, when was the last time I went grocery shopping? Why don't I have any food? _I didn't really feel like shopping this early in the morning, so instead, I went to the café down the street from my apartment for breakfast. I'd just sat down and placed my order when I heard a high-pitched squeal coming from somewhere behind me. _Great. Doesn't anyone work—or go to school—anymore? _I rolled my eyes, hoping that the owner of the squeal would calm down—and more importantly, not make that sound again—so that I could enjoy my breakfast in peace.

The one thing I was _not _expecting was to hear a second squeal coming from right in front of me as someone sat down at my table. I stared at the girl (who couldn't be more than twenty) and tried to figure out why the hell she thought it was okay to just join me at my table. Upon further inspection, I recognized her. I couldn't quite put my finger on where I'd seen her before, though. "Bella, right?" she asked, unabashed at my shameless staring.

"I'm sorry, you are…?"

"Alice Cullen," she chirped. _Right! Edward's sister. I _knew_ she looked familiar. _"I thought I recognized you when I saw you come in here."

"It's nice to see you again, Alice," I said politely. I wasn't being entirely truthful, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I didn't have anything against Alice, per se, but I just didn't know what to make of her yet. She was so full of energy and enthusiasm that it was overwhelming. She had been the exact same way the other time I'd met her, too, when I'd mistaken her for another one of Edward's... _fans_.

"So, what are you doing today?" she asked as if we'd been friends for years. I blinked. I couldn't figure out what she was doing. I'd met this woman—girl, rather—once in my life, and for less than five minutes. The waitress arrived with my food then, and placed the plate in front of me. Alice declined when the woman offered to take her order.

Alice was watching me carefully, and I realized that she was actually expecting an answer. I was flabbergasted. _Why does she care? _I was too confused to even lie to her, so I spoke honestly. "Well, er, I'm not really doing anything this morning. My Friday morning patient recently decided to… seek help elsewhere, so I'm available." I watched her face as I stumbled over the words, trying to figure out how to describe her brother and his situation without divulging too much information. She didn't seem to be paying attention to anything past 'I'm not doing anything.'

"That's so great!" she exclaimed. "Edward's been talking about you all week, and I really want to get to know you." I stared at her, dumbfounded. She was practically bouncing up and down in her seat, clapping her hands. She really reminded me of a young child, much the same way Edward had when he was talking about music at his apartment last night. "So, listen," she regained my attention, "do you want to hang out or something? I'd really like to get to know you better."

"O…kay?" I said, the word coming out in a question. I had no idea how to deal with Alice. She was unlike anyone I'd ever come in contact with in my twenty-eight years.

"Ooh, yay!" She was clapping again, and I was worried about my decision already. I didn't know how I would make it through spending the morning with her; I was borderline exhausted after only five minutes in her company.

She chit-chatted the whole time I was eating my breakfast and when I could manage, I spoke back to her. Despite her manic persona, her enthusiasm actually ended up being contagious. By the time I'd finished eating, I'd opened up more to Alice than I had to anyone in years, besides Leah and Emily. No one knew me as well as those two, and no matter how friendly Alice was, I didn't necessarily see her taking their place anytime soon. While she may not have been _best-friend_-material, hanging out with her once in a while could be fun.

It turned out that Alice had graduated from design school the previous year and she had started her own clothing line upon graduation. It was because of this love of fashion and clothes that she ended up dragging me from store to store all morning long. "I have to keep up on all the latest trends," she explained. Once we'd actually walked into the first store, I had a thought. I despised shopping, but I did need a wardrobe boost, especially if I was going to be spending time with Edward. Alice was a perfect shopping buddy, too. Because of her schooling, she had a great eye for what would suit me. She was able to read me perfectly, too. It was almost unnerving how well she seemed to know me after just a couple of hours, but she was so friendly that I couldn't help liking her, too. It was better than the similar trip I'd taken with Emily and Leah almost a week before. I was exhausted by lunch time, but in a good way.

"Do you like seafood?" Alice asked at around 11:30.

"I like some seafood," I told her, remembering the slimy little oysters Edward had convinced me to swallow. If I never ate another one of those disgusting things again, it would be too soon.

"Fish and chips?"

"I love fish and chips."

"Great. Me, too. Let's go to Ivar's."

I thought that was a fabulous idea. I loved Ivar's. I hadn't been there in awhile, but they had the best fish in the city. Located right on the pier, the seafood was always really fresh. They boasted that the fish had been 'alive that morning.' Before noon, we had arrived at the restaurant and were seated.

"So, Bella," Alice started after we'd ordered. "What's going on with you and Edward?"

I avoided the question by taking a long drink from my water glass. I'd suspected that the conversation would eventually turn to this, but at the same time, I'd hoped it wouldn't. Although, I had some questions I wanted to ask her about him, too. _Maybe if I play along for awhile, I can turn the tables._ Setting my glass down on the cardboard coaster, I looked her right in the eyes. "Right now, we're just friends." My personal cheerleaders yelled at me for that. _Give me an L-I-A-R! What's it spell? _I ignored them.

"Friends?" Alice asked. "So he's not screwing you just to get out of therapy?"

"Is that what he told you?" I asked incredulously, feeling slightly hurt.

"No, actually. He told me that he liked you more than that."

My spirits lifted. "Really?" I snapped my mouth shut, realizing the connotation of what I'd said just a little too late. I sounded like a schoolgirl with a crush who'd just been told that the object of her affection returned the sentiment.

Alice cocked her head slightly at me, also recognizing what I'd done. "So, you like him, too, then?"

I blushed a ferocious shade of red. "No. We're just friends," I lied, sticking to my story.

Alice laughed out loud. "Edward doesn't have female friends."

"What do you mean?"

"You're kidding, right? You've met my brother; surely you realize that he has issues."

"Yeah, I know," I started, not entirely sure where to go. I wasn't sure I was comfortable talking about Edward this way, but at the same time, I was horribly curious to see just how much information I could garner from his sister. "Everyone has issues, though." _Even me, the one whose job it is to help people with their own issues._

Alice leaned forward on the table, placing one elbow on either side of her plate and resting her chin in her hands. "Listen, Bella, I don't know how much my brother's told you, but I'm guessing it's not much. He tends to get really defensive whenever we try to talk to him about this." I nodded slightly, remembering that trait from my six sessions with Edward. "He never sees a woman more than once; honestly—and I mean no offense here—I'm surprised you've lasted a week. That's unheard of with Edward."

I leaned back in my chair, unsure of what to make of her words. I felt like I should say something, but I didn't have a clue what. All I could manage was a meager, "I'm not entirely sure I know what you're getting at."

"I really can't believe that you don't already know this," she replied, relaxing her posture and grabbing a fry from her plate, popping it in her mouth and chewing.

"Well, like you said, he gets incredibly defensive when this stuff is brought up," I reminded her. "Just because I was paid to talk to him about it doesn't mean I had any more success than you ever have."

"What has he told you?" It seemed she was going to take a different tactic. I couldn't ethically answer this question, though.

"Alice, I'd lose my license if I told you that."

"It's okay, I've heard it all before. He told you that he doesn't have a problem, he just 'likes to fuck,' right?" She made finger-quotes in the air when citing her brother. Feeling incredibly guilty, I nodded minutely, barely acknowledging her statement. "Well, he's right. Half-right, anyway. He sleeps with more women than anyone I've ever met in my life. Occasionally, one will last two dates, but never, ever more than that. And ninety-nine-point-nine percent of them don't make it past the first encounter. In fact, he hasn't had anything even remotely resembling a serious relationship since high school."

"Nothing at all?" My eyebrows furrowed together and I frowned.

"Nope. But I think you might be different," she said brightly, moving the subject along.

"Different how?"

"Actually, before I make that assessment, let me ask you one question."

"Okay, go ahead." I was a little worried about what this question might be, but I did want to know what she'd meant by _different, _so I agreed to answer her next inquiry.

"Have you slept with him yet?" _Exactly what I suspected. _

I glanced down at my food. "No," I answered honestly. _I almost did, though. I would have, too, if Jasper hadn't come barging in._

"That's how," she replied, pointing her fork at me. "That's how you're different. See, Edward's never been like this before. He doesn't chase after women, they just seem to flock after him. If he's happy just to be your friend and get to know you, that has to mean that he likes you a lot. He doesn't spend time getting to know women; but he has with you. Trust me, Bella. I'm his sister, I know him better than anyone. There's only one reason he'd do that and it's because he's interested in you."

"He's interested in me?" The words came out before I could stop them, and once I'd said them, I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Of course he was interested in me on some level; we'd spent several hours together now, and he hadn't tried anything. _Well, except for the making out on the couch yesterday. _My cheerleaders squealed and waved their tiny pom poms at that memory. I shifted in my chair to quash their excitement.

"Yes, he's interested in you," Alice assured me. "He told me that you make him laugh. He's never said that about anyone before."

"I make him laugh?" That didn't sound like a positive attribute to me. Laughing at someone wasn't normally considered a good thing.

"Yeah," Alice said, shrugging. She didn't seem to see anything wrong with that, so even though it kind of rubbed me the wrong way, I didn't push it. "So, anyway, Bella, I guess just keep doing what you're doing. I can already see a difference in him—a slight one, but it's there. I really think you could be good for him."

I blushed at those words; I'd never been _good for anyone _before. "Thanks," I murmured, smiling shyly at her.

"So, are you available to hang out some more this afternoon? I'd love for you to come to my studio and see my designs. In fact," she said, eyeing me, "I've got some clothes that I bet would fit you. They're from last season, but your average person doesn't know any better."

I was incredibly thankful for the change in conversation, and flattered that Alice would offer me some free clothes. I had patients in the afternoon, though. "I wish I could, but I have to work this afternoon."

"No worries, just come by after work," she said. "You know where my studio is, right?"

"No," I told her. _How the hell would I know where her studio was?_

"Edward didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I asked, confused.

"I rent one of the workshops on the bottom floor of the old factory from him. It's the perfect place, with lots of natural light and room to work."

"Oh. That's great," I told her. "The space is really nice. I mean, I haven't seen your studio area, but Edward's apartment is gorgeous. I helped him unpack his boxes yesterday."

"So you know where it is, then?"

"Yep."

"Cool. So come by after work then, okay? I really want to hang out with you again. This has been awesome; you're fun to hang out with."

The waiter approached us just then, and when we declined his offer of dessert, he dropped the bill off. I took it and refused Alice's money. We rose from our chairs and walked to the front of the restaurant where I paid the bill; moments later we were out on the pier again, breathing in the salty sea air.

"So what do you say? Will you come by tonight?"

"Sure," I told her.

"Great!" she squealed, jumping up and down and clapping. "I'll see you tonight, then."

"Yeah," I replied, trying not to laugh at her exuberance. "See you tonight."

We parted ways, and I made the cross-town trip to the office.

-x-

I focused on my afternoon patients, but not without difficulty. My morning with Edward's sister had given me a lot to think about, but work was definitely not the place to do so. I almost felt like I needed to _see _a therapist rather than _be _one after everything Alice had told me. If I was being completely honest, though, that thought had very little to do with Alice and Edward and everything to do with _me._

I went home after work to shower and change out of my work clothes before going over to Edward's apartment. _No, not Edward's apartment tonight. I'm going to visit Alice, in _her studio, I reminded myself. I still couldn't help hoping that maybe he'd pop down for a few minutes.

Standing naked in the bathroom at my place, I gazed into the full-length mirror that I'd hung on the back of the bathroom door. About twice a week, I wondered why I'd hung it there; I hated looking in it. _That's why, _I told myself. _I need to get over that stupid, irrational insecurity. _I wasn't convinced that it was actually irrational, though. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to look into the mirror any longer. I turned away and switched the water on, trying to shed the image of my nude body from my mind's eye.

I climbed into the shower and stood under the hot spray, hoping to wash away my fears of inadequacy and self-doubt. Instead what ended up happening was that I replayed my last—and only—four relationships. The first two, while the most long-lasting of the four, were some of the worst times of my life, and I didn't allow myself to dwell on them. I'd had two boyfriends since the James incident, and though there was nothing particularly wrong with either of them, things still hadn't worked out. I'd dated Peter for six months; we'd gone to graduate school together and he had been one of the nicest guys I'd ever known. We'd gotten along fabulously as friends, but when the relationship had turned intimate, I'd frozen. There was really no other word for it. I'd been the cliché, lying on my back and basically waiting for him to finish. Peter had been great and I felt bad that things couldn't work out between us. I was all wrong for him, though. He was a thoughtful, loving guy and I saw myself as damaged goods. I never understood what he saw in me and it was that constant self-doubt that caused him to break up with me.

A few months after Peter, I'd met Sam. He started out as a one night stand, but against my gut instinct, I was still in his bed in the morning. While that wasn't the ideal way to start a relationship, it ended up working out fairly well for awhile. But again, like with Peter, I found that unless I was at least somewhat intoxicated, I was a less-than-active participant in the bedroom. I realized it before he did, though and had the courtesy to let him go before things got really bad. That was a year and a half ago and I hadn't been with anyone since then. After the disastrous results of those two relationships—and lack of sexual chemistry with either of them—I just wasn't interested in sex anymore.

That was, until I met Edward. I squirted some shampoo into my hand and lathered it into my hair, washing as I continued to think. I'd spent the better part of six weeks squirming in my chair every time he entered the room. I wondered what it would be like to _be _with Edward. I very nearly started hyperventilating at that thought. _I could barely manage to look at myself without clothes on, how the hell was I supposed to let him see me naked? _I stepped back into the spray and ran my fingers through my hair, letting the soap wash over my skin. I had to make a decision; I could either keep freaking out, worrying and being insecure, or I could let those all wash down the drain with the soapy bubbles. _Well, it's not that easy,_ I laughed at myself. I had good reason to be insecure around Edward; he had a lot of… experience.

The idea of Edward's experience brought with it an unpleasant thought: the hostess at Morton's. She was everything I wasn't. She was tall, blonde, had a huge chest and legs to die for. And she'd been all over Edward. There was nothing in me that was anything like her. He could have her at the drop of a hat and where would that leave me? Since he'd made the decision not to be my patient anymore, if I didn't see him socially, I knew I'd never see him at all. And that was the most unpleasant thing to pass through my mind in ages. _How could I go back to my life BE? Before Edward?_ I couldn't. That was all there was to it.

But, I knew he wouldn't be interested in just being my friend forever. And I wanted to be more than friends with him, I just didn't know how anymore. _But sex is like riding a bike, right? Once you do it successfully, you don't forget how. _Yeah. I could do that. Besides, I had a feeling that being with Edward would be better than anyone else. If the incident on the couch was any indication, then I was _sure _it'd be better. _There's no way to know unless you do it._

I finished rinsing, dried off and redressed in some of the new clothes I'd just purchased with Alice that morning, and by the time I'd made the drive to Edward's old

factory-turned-apartment, I was feeling somewhat better about myself.

I parked on the street right outside, in essentially the same place I had the last time I'd been here. Since I was here to see Alice and not Edward, I felt comfortable just going in; it was like a place of business more than a residence in this instance. The door shut behind me with a loud banging sound—the kind you only hear in big, open spaces—announcing my presence.

Practically before I'd even had a chance to recover from the sound, I was bombarded with another sound: Alice's voice screeching my name. "Bella!" She'd bounded over to me and had me wrapped in a huge hug before I could process what had happened. "I'm so glad you came! Listen, I've got those clothes for you like I promised, and then Edward's invited us up for drinks after. What do you say?"

"E-Edward?" I stammered. While I'd been hoping that I'd get to see him tonight, I was now suddenly unsure. I was expecting to just get a wayward glance of him, not to end up spending time in his home again.

"Yeah, silly. Why do you look so worried? I thought you liked my brother."

"I'm not worried," I lied. The truth was I wasn't sure what to expect with Edward; I never knew what he was going to do. "Yeah, drinks with Edward sound great." _At least this time, Alice would be around to keep us both in line._

"Great! So, come on, now, let's go get you some new clothes." She sounded way too excited about the proposition. Although, if this morning was any indication, getting some originally designed clothes from Alice would be even better than shopping. And she'd somehow managed to make shopping a joy, so I trusted her to make this enjoyable, too.

That was the right call. I had a great time with Alice trying on her creations. By the time two hours had passed, I was so loaded down with clothes that fit me perfectly that I was practically set for life. When I came out from her makeshift changing room for the last time wearing the clothes I'd arrived in, Edward had come down. He and Alice were talking, and I felt almost like I was interrupting something, but my fears were assuaged as soon as Edward saw me. His face broke out into a huge grin and he approached me, leaving Alice standing there looking at me with a 'what did I tell you' expression on her face.

"Did Alice talk to you about coming up for drinks?" he asked, draping one arm over my shoulders. It was a very comfortable gesture, and I couldn't help but feel a little warm and fuzzy with him touching me.

"Er, yeah, she did," I replied. Despite the warm and fuzzies, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was out of my depth here.

He seemed to read my trepidation in my tone, and his next question reflected that; he sounded concerned. "Is this okay? I didn't mean to commandeer your time with Alice. You don't have to join me, you know."

"No, it's not that at all. I'd love to come up for awhile tonight."

I was glad he didn't seem to pick up on the first part of my statement; or at least that he didn't comment on it. Instead, he just smiled that stunning crooked grin of his and said, "Great. Let's go upstairs, then. If you ladies are done?" He cast a pointed glance at Alice, and she raised her hands in surrender.

"We're done, we're done. Keep your pants on, jeez." Edward and I both glared at her for that remark. "Sorry," she muttered.

"So, I was just telling my _obnoxious _sister that Jazz is coming over tonight. I thought it might be fun to have you over, too. And since Al's here working, I couldn't not invite her." He had a mischievous gleam in his eye at that.

Alice hit him on the shoulder in a playful, sibling-annoyance kind of way. He just laughed at her, backing away slightly and leading the way up the stairs. Since his arm was still on my shoulders, I walked up next to him as we ascended the stairs and Alice walked right behind us. The door was open, I assumed because he'd just been up in his apartment before coming down to Alice's studio.

No more than ten minutes after the three of us had entered the apartment, I heard heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs. Edward chuckled. "Jazz is never one for making a quiet entrance, is he?"

I blushed, remembering the last time Jasper had come up those stairs. I hadn't heard him then until he was already in the room with us. That had probably been one of the most mortifying experiences of my adult life. Like before, he entered Edward's apartment without knocking. _They must be really close, _I thought. I made a mental note to ask Edward about his relationship with Jasper sometime.

This time, Jasper came bearing pizza and beer. He set the drinks on the dining room table next to the door on his way by and when he approached us in the main area, he lifted the pizza box up to shoulder level, posing in some kind of Greek-god-statue stance or something. I couldn't help but giggle at him.

"Ah, the fair Isabella." He spoke loud and clear, looking right at me. I was reminded of a Sophocles play.

"Hi, Jasper," I said.

He moved on quickly. "And who is this lovely lady?" he asked, looking at Alice.

Alice jumped up from her post on the floor and extended her hand to Jasper. "Hi, I'm Edward's sister, Alice. You must be the infamous Jazz I've heard so much about from Edward over the years."

"One and the same," he replied, lowering the pizza box to the coffee table and taking Alice's proffered hand. They smiled at each other before releasing the handshake. When they did let go of one another, Jasper blinked a couple of times, then looked over at Edward. "So, have you been practicing the songs today?"

"Yeah, Jazz, I'm all set," Edward assured him, looking annoyed. "I'll be right back." He stood and headed toward the kitchen.

"Don't be like that, man. It's my reputation on the line if you're not prepared," Jasper called after him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Alice asked.

"Edward's filling in for my guitarist tomorrow night. My band's playing over at Riley's," Jasper informed.

"Ooh, I wanna come!" Alice squealed.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Edward told her, returning from the kitchen with a stack of plates and the case of beer that Jasper had deposited on the dining table. "You can keep Bella company, that way she's not sitting in a bar all alone."

"You're going?" Alice asked me.

"Um, yeah, I am," I said. I grabbed a plate from the stack and pulled a slice of pizza onto it, just for something to do. I took a tentative bite; it was good. Everyone else took my cue and grabbed their own slices. The conversation continued while we ate and drank and everyone loosened up even more as the evening progressed. After about three or four hours, Jasper announced that he needed to leave.

"Yeah, I really should get home, too," Alice said.

"No driving, either of you," Edward ordered; the entire case of beer had been consumed by this point and all four of us were too buzzed to drive safely.

"Yes, _Daddy_," Alice said sarcastically.

"Ah, he's right, Alice. I'm a responsible drinker; I never drive if I've had this much to drink. Come on, I'll share a cab with you." Jasper pulled her by the hand to a standing position and the two of them walked toward the door together, still holding hands.

"Hey! Not so fast," Edward said firmly, gesturing Jasper back toward him. He released Alice's hand and she stood there awkwardly between the main area of the room and the door. I was close enough to hear Edward's warning to Jasper, even though it was made in a hushed whisper. "Make sure she gets home safe, but _that's it. _No funny business. That's my frickin' sister over there. And you're…well, you. So just behave, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jasper replied dismissively, already moving back toward Alice. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The two of them left, and it wasn't until the door had shut behind them that I realized what had just happened. I'd been left alone with Edward. Again. I wasn't sure I was ready to be alone with him again just yet.

"Crap!" Edward exclaimed suddenly, grabbing something from the coffee table. I looked at him questioningly. "Alice forgot her keys; she'll need them to get inside her house. I'll be right back, okay?" Before I had a chance to respond, he'd sprinted through the door; I could hear him pounding down the stairs. I had to do something to keep my hands busy to avoid my overactive imagination taking over in Edward's absence. Things easily got out of control when we were alone together, and I didn't think tonight would be any different. _Jeez, Bella, get over yourself! You've been alone with him before._ My head cheerleader jumped up from her spot on the bleachers just then, looking very excited about the prospect of being alone with Edward again. _Well, I guess I know whose side you're on._

In an attempt to distract her and calm my nerves, I gathered up the grease-covered plates and carried them to the kitchen. I was standing at the sink rinsing them when I heard the door reopen. My heart started pounding and the rest of the cheerleaders joined their leader, turning cartwheels. _So much for distracting her. _

**A/N**

**First of all thanks for reading :) **

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	9. I Need You Tonight

**Wendy: We don't own Twilight, but Caz owns an obsessive amount of Rob pictures... Hm.**

**Caz:That's because he's fuck-hot, okay?**

**Wendy: *raises hands in surrender* I'm not judging, just sayin'... You don't have to be so defensive, sheesh! You know I agree with you on that!  
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**Caz: Yeah, alright. **

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**Chapter 9: I Need You Tonight**

**EPOV**

I walked back up the stairs to my apartment feeling slightly nervous. Bella was still here and while I was pleased she hadn't left with the others, I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She'd been in a strange mood all night, often appearing worried and distant, not to mention her earlier reaction to my invitation to come up for drinks. Bella had looked almost afraid when I'd asked if Alice had mentioned them coming up to my place. I'd had my arm draped casually over her shoulders at the time and I'd felt her whole body tense. I'd gotten the distinct feeling that she didn't _want _to come up and her attempts at assuring me otherwise did little to convince me that she was completely comfortable with the idea. Bella had seemed eager to spend time with me earlier this week and I was worried that her new found reluctance to come up to my place had something to do with last night's make out session.

I opened the door to my apartment, mentally kicking myself for being a horny mother fucker and rushing things with her. I was _supposed _to be proving to the Doc that I wasn't some kind of sex maniac, yet I'd jumped her bones like a hormonal teenager the first chance I'd gotten. I just hadn't been able to stop myself; one minute we were horsing around, laughing like a couple of kids, and the next we were dry humping the shit out of each other. My cock hardened at the memory, desperate for a repeat performance. Keeping my hands off her was becoming increasingly difficult. Hell, I'd almost thrown her against her car last night when I'd kissed her goodbye, and while the Doc didn't protest about the dry humping on the couch, I'm pretty fucking certain she wouldn't appreciate me trying to fuck her in the street. I just hoped that I was wrong and that I hadn't fucked things up with her by moving too quickly. If that was the case then I'd have to do some damage control pretty damn fast.

I walked into the apartment and found her in the kitchen rinsing the plates. "Hey, you don't have to do that. I'll take care of it later."

"It's okay, I don't mind helping," she replied without looking up from her task. "Why don't you clear away the empty bottles in the other room while I stack these in the dishwasher, then you can call me a cab."

_Shit, she was going to run off without me getting a chance to find out what was wrong._ "You don't have to leave, you know. You could always stay the night here and drive home in the morning?" I suggested casually as I walked over to the cupboard by the sink to get a trash bag. Bella's head shot up and she gaped at me as the plate she'd been holding fell from her trembling hands, hitting the floor with a crash.

Bella's eyes darted nervously back and forth between me and the broken shards on the floor. "Shit! I, er, I-I'm sorry. I-I'll clean it right up," she stammered, opening the cupboard under the sink and frantically grabbing the dust pan and brush.

"Hey, it's okay," I said reassuringly, moving over to her quickly and placing both hands on the tops of her arms. Bella's whole body stiffened at my touch, anxiety practically radiating off of her in waves. "Bella, relax, it's a just a plate. Don't worry about it, please." I smiled at her, running my hands up and down her arms in a soothing gesture. I took the dust pan and brush from her trembling hands and crouched down, quickly sweeping up the bits of crockery from the floor and depositing them in the trash can under the sink.

"Thanks," Bella mumbled and went back to stacking the plates in the dishwasher, still looking nervous as hell. I grabbed a trash bag and went to retrieve the empty bottles from the living room. When I returned, Bella was standing by the sink drying her hands.

"So, do you wanna stay? We could watch a movie or listen to some music for a while, if you aren't too tired?" I asked, moving to casually lean against the counter opposite her.

Bella stared at me, a fearful expression on her beautiful features, nervously wringing the towel with her little hands. "Er I-I don't... erm, I'm not sure," she stuttered, dropping her gaze to the floor. "I mean, I-I want to, I just don't know if I, er, if I can..." she trailed off as I stepped toward her. I knew right then that my behavior last night was causing her reluctance to be alone with me. She probably thought this was just another ploy to get her to sleep with me. I hated how fucking scared she looked, when only days ago she'd been so relaxed and comfortable in my presence. _Cullen, you ass, fix this, now!_

"Bella, I'm not asking you to sleep with me, okay? I just don't want you going home alone in a cab so late at night." She looked up at me cautiously and I smiled at her. "I'll sleep on the couch if you want to stay and if not, I'll call a cab and take you home, okay?"

"Okay, I guess... I could stay," she replied, smiling shyly at me, but still sounding a little unsure.

"Okay, good. There's just one more thing I want to clear up," I said gently, running my fingers through my hair. "I might be wrong, but you've seemed a little nervous around me since last night. I just want you to know that I'm sorry if I took things a little too far. I don't want you to think I'm spending time with you because I want to have sex with you. I enjoy your company, Bella, and I don't want to ruin things by acting like a horny mother fucker." I paused, rubbing my hand across the back of my neck, not sure what else to say to make her relax. _Just be honest with her_, said a little voice in my head, which sounded very much like my sister. "I can get sex pretty much any time I want, but someone I like talking to, who's easy to be with, that's a lot harder to find. So, there's really no need for you to be on edge around me; if you want to take things slow or just be friends, then I'm fine with that, okay?"

Bella looked a little stunned at my words and I wasn't sure if she believed me or not. She looked deep in thought for a moment, chewing on her lip and looking away from me. I was about to promise that I'd behave myself in the future, when she took in a deep breath, stretched up and kissed me full on the lips. _Well, fuck me. I guess honesty is the best policy._

"Edward, I'm sorry if I've seemed a little off this evening, I've just had a lot on my mind." She let out a small sigh before smiling up at me and sliding her arms up and around my neck. "It isn't anything you've done, I promise. I like spending time with you, too. And I can assure you that you did nothing last night that I didn't want you to, or that I didn't thoroughly enjoy. I'm sorry if I made you think that I don't want to be with you, because I do and I would really love to stay."

"Really?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at her as I placed my hands on her hips and slid them around to rest on her lower back. "You're sure you want to stay?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she confirmed, nodding her head and relaxing into my embrace.

"Okay, then." I grinned down at her before lowering my lips gently to hers in a tender kiss. "I'll go find you something to sleep in and grab some blankets. I know it's late, but we can sleep in tomorrow, so do you want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah, sounds good," she replied following me into the living room.

We spent the next few hours snuggled up under a blanket on the couch, watching _As Good As It Gets_. I was a huge Jack Nicholson fan, so I was more than happy with her choice of movie. I'd given Bella a T-shirt and pair of my boxers to sleep in and she looked sexy as fuck wearing them. My dick had been hard as rock for most of the movie, especially since Bella had nestled her tiny body into mine, complaining she was cold. We'd shared a couple of heated kisses - and I'd somehow managed not to ravage her- before Bella said good night and went to sleep in my room. I'd taken a quick shower after she'd gone to bed and even though I'd whacked off like a mad man, I was still restless and unable to sleep.

I let out a groan and rolled over on to my side, squeezing my eyes shut and desperately fighting the urge to go crawl into bed with her. Just as I was finally beginning to drift off to sleep, I heard Bella's voice coming from the bedroom. It wasn't very loud at first but quickly rose in volume; when I heard her scream out I leapt off the couch and ran to the bedroom. She was tossing and turning on the bed, crying and pleading with someone to stop. "No, no, please stop. No!" she cried as she thrashed around under the blankets, obviously having one hell of a fucking nightmare. Unsure of what I should do, but knowing I couldn't leave her like this, I walked over to the bed and tried to wake her up.

"Bella, Bella, wake up baby," I said, kneeling on the bed and gently shaking her shoulder.

Her movements stilled but the tears continued to stream down her face as she whimpered something that sounded like, _No, James, don't._

I tried again, desperate to rouse her from her tortured sleep. "Bella," I practically yelled as I shook her more vigorously. "Wake up, please." Bella's eyes opened and darted around the room, tears still pouring down her face and her breathing ragged. "Shh, shh, baby," I soothed, pulling her up gently against my chest and wrapping my arms around her. "You're okay, baby, it's just a dream, shh." Bella's sobs gradually quieted as I held her and stroked her hair, continually reassuring her that she was safe. After a few moments she pulled away slightly to look up at me.

"Edward, will you stay with me please?" she asked shyly, her voice barely a whisper. "I don't want to sleep by myself."

"Of course I will, sweetheart." I moved the blankets back and slid into bed beside her. I held her in my arms - her damp cheek pressed against my bare chest and one arm wrapped around my waist - as I continued to stroke her hair. "Go back, to sleep baby," I whispered, softly placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm not going to leave you. I promise." _And I fucking mean it._

-x-

I walked into Riley's just after eight p.m. on Saturday and scanned the bar quickly, looking for any sign of Bella or my sister. Not seeing them among the few people waiting at the bar or at any of the tables in the front, I headed for the booths at the back, where I knew Jazz and the rest of the band would be. We'd set up and completed our sound check earlier in the evening before I'd left to drop off my car and get changed. Alice had informed me that afternoon that I didn't need to pick either of them up, as Bella was getting ready at her place and they'd meet me here around eight o'clock. I was a little disappointed with this arrangement as it meant I wouldn't get any time alone with Bella before the gig and I wanted to talk to her some more about last night.

I'd woken up this morning to find Bella already up and drinking coffee at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. She hadn't wanted to talk about the nightmare she'd had and had just brushed it off, saying it was nothing and was probably caused by sleeping in a strange place. She'd seemed a little embarrassed about it, so I hadn't forced the issue, even though I didn't buy that shit for one second. I'd seen first hand how upset and scared she'd been afterwards and knew that it wasn't _nothing_. Hell, she'd been too scared to be alone and had clung to me like her fucking life depended on it, even in her sleep. Not that I was fucking complaining. I'd loved that she'd wanted me to hold her, that she felt safe with me and needed me. I'd realized, lying there in the dark with her tiny body pressed close against mine, exactly what I'd been missing all these years. I'd never felt that kind of closeness with anyone before. Never wanted a woman to stay the night in my bed, always preferring to send them on their way after sex and sleep alone. But with Bella it was different; I'd _wanted _her there in my arms, where I could hold her, protect her. I'd known right then and there that I hadn't lied to her when I'd told her it wasn't just about sex for me anymore. I liked her, a lot, and I just hoped she fucking believed it.

I rounded the corner of the bar and spotted Bella immediately, standing by one of the booths talking to Jazz and Alice. She looked hot as hell, dressed in a little black skirt that fell just above her knee, 'fuck me' black strappy, high heeled shoes and a blue sleeveless, button down shirt. The fitted shirt hugged her body, deliciously accentuating her full breasts and tiny waist. Her hair was loose and fell in chocolate waves over her shoulders and down her back. My dick twitched in approval at the sight of her. She really was stunning, but had no fucking idea just how beautiful she was, which only served to add to her allure. I walked over to them and Bella's eyes lit up, her face breaking into a wide smile when she saw me.

"Hi," she said, beaming up at me. I smiled down at her, slipping one arm casually over her shoulders as I returned her greeting. Alice seemed completely oblivious to my arrival, talking animatedly to Jazz, who was grinning at her in amusement as she excitedly waved her hands around, bouncing up and down slightly. _Where the fuck does she get all that energy?_ Jasper handed me a beer and nodded in greeting before turning his attention back to my sister - who still hadn't stopped for breath - as she rattled away about stage outfits for the band. Bella and I chatted casually for a few minutes before the four of us slid into the nearby booth with the rest of the guys in the band. Bella seemed to be enjoying herself talking and laughing comfortably with everyone as if she'd known them for years. After twenty minutes or so, Jasper informed us it was time to start the first of our two forty-five minute sets. Alice dragged Bella on to the dance floor in front of the stage while we took up our positions.

I loved being on stage with Jazz again; it reminded me of college when the two of us would play together at open mic nights every chance we got. The set list Jazz had come up with was fantastic; a perfect mixture of original material and covers of classic and contemporary rock songs. The crowd loved it and the time flew by. Before I knew it we were taking our fifteen minute break, Bella and Alice giving up their positions at the front of the stage to come and join us at the bar.

"Wow, you guys were awesome," Alice squealed, jumping up and down, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, you were really great," Bella added as she slipped her arm around my waist and grinned up at me.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, baby," Jazz drawled, smiling down at my sister who was grinning up at him like some demented fan girl. "Just you wait for our next set. We've got some really sexy stuff in there that'll really get your juices flowing."

"Dude, please. That's my baby sister, I don't want to think about that shit," I said, screwing my face up in disgust. "And neither do you, unless you want me kicking your ass." It may have sounded playful but I meant that shit; I'd have his fucking balls if he so much as sniffed in Alice's direction.

"Edward, behave," Alice chastised, punching me hard on the bicep.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean that to sound the way it did," Jazz apologized.

"Glad to hear it," I said, giving him a warning look. He may have been my best friend, but there was no way I'd let him screw around with my sister and he knew it.

"So, do you wanna hear about _my _juices flowing?" Bella whispered in my ear, immediately taking my mind off Jazz and Alice. I looked at her in shock. "You looked really hot up there, Edward."

"You liked that, huh?" I asked, smirking at her.

"Hell, yeah," she replied, sliding her other arm around my waist pulling me closer to her as I placed my hands on her hips. "I've always thought guitarists were sexy, but you with that instrument? Hottest thing ever."

"Well, if that's the case, I'll have to give you a private show. If you're a good girl, I might even let you play with _my_ instrument," I chuckled, waggling my eyebrows at her.

"I'm counting on it," she replied before stretching up and pressing her lips to mine. Her mouth moved hungrily over my own and I felt her hot little tongue flick out, seeking entrance. I parted my lips and my tongue met hers in a provocative dance. Her hands slid up and down my back and she pressed her hips into mine as we deepened the kiss. My hands moved to her ass and I held her firmly against me, momentarily forgetting where we were. The sound of Jazz clearing his throat loudly brought me out of my Bella-induced haze and I reluctantly pulled my lips from hers, turning to glare at him.

"Edward, we're up," he said motioning with his head toward the stage. _Tell me about it, _I thought sarcastically, furtively adjusting myself, using Bella's body to prevent anyone from seeing my movements.

I took to the stage again - leaving Bella up front with Alice - and grinned down at her, giving her a wink as I ran my hand along the neck of the guitar. My eyes nearly popped out of my head and my dick throbbed, as I watched her lick her lips and wink back at me seductively. _What the hell has gotten into her tonight? _Fuck if I knew but I sure as shit wasn't complaining. Had I known me playing guitar would affect her like this, I'd have played for her sooner.

Bella barely took her eyes off me the entire set, even when she was dancing with Alice, her slim hips swaying erotically in time to the music. My heart pounded in my chest, my cock pressed painfully against the zipper of my jeans as I watched her. She was so fucking sexy, I wanted to leap off the stage and fuck her right there on the dance floor.

Unlike the first set, this one seemed to drag on and on. It felt like fucking hours that I was forced to stand up there looking down at Bella's flushed face and hooded, lust filled eyes. When we finally finished the last song, I barely had chance to make it down the steps at the side of the stage before Bella flung herself into my arms and kissed me full on the lips. She was flushed with excitement, her body hot from all the dancing she'd been doing. To give us both a chance to cool down, I pulled her quickly to the bar and ordered two beers.

"Where's Alice?" I asked once we had our drinks, my eyes roaming the crowded bar for my sister.

"She saw some friends from design school and went to talk to them. She said to tell you that she'd be fine and not to worry. She'll meet us back at the booth, where we sat earlier, in a little while," Bella replied, having to raise her voice so I could hear her over the rock music that was now coming from the sound system. We quickly downed our beers, both having worked up quite a thirst, me from being on stage under the hot lights and Bella from all the dancing. Just as we put our empty bottles on the bar Jazz appeared at my side. He informed me that he was leaving to go check out the new club that had opened up across town. Bella and I refused his offer of joining him and went to the booth in the back to wait for Alice.

We didn't have to wait long before Alice appeared, explaining how she hadn't seen her friends in ages and asking Bella if she minded her going to spend the rest of the evening with them. Bella said that she understood and told Alice to go enjoy herself with her friends. Alice gave me a quick hug before dashing off in the direction of two girls about her age. I shook my head and chuckled as I watched the three of them hug excitedly before heading for the exit. "I don't know where she gets all her energy from," I said turning to Bella.

"Me neither, but I hope it runs in the family," she replied suggestively, rising from her seat and pulling on my arm. "Come on, I want to dance with the hot guitarist."

I allowed her to pull me on to the dance floor, smiling at how much she seemed to be enjoying herself tonight. I knew she hadn't had that much to drink - maybe about three or four beers at the most- and I was relieved that her earlier advances weren't alcohol induced, unlike the previous time we'd been here. We danced to Kid Rock's "_All Summer Long"_ and Van Morrison's "_My Brown Eyed Girl,"_ Bella grinning at me as I sang the lyrics to that one and winked at her. Her body was mere inches from mine as we danced, my hands on her waist and her arms hung loosely around my neck. When "_I Need You Tonight"_ by INXS started to play, Bella pressed her body into mine, trapping my right leg between hers. She moved her body slowly against mine and bit her lip, looking up at me shyly as the lyrics kicked in.

_All you got is this moment_  
_21st century's yesterday_  
_You can care all you want_  
_Everybody does yeah that's okay_

Her hips undulating in time to the sultry music, she slipped her hands from around my neck and slid down my body toward the floor. My dick hardened instantly as I felt her pussy slide down my thigh, her hot little hands roaming down my chest as she slunk lower, before rising slowly back up. _Holy Fuck!_

_So slide over here_  
_And give me a moment_  
_Your moves are so raw_  
_I've got to let you know_  
_I've got to let you know_  
_You're one of my kind_

Her hands came to rest on my shoulders as she released my leg and moved to press her hips into mine. My hands slid from their position at her waist to grasp her hips firmly. My dick pulsed in my pants, pressing painfully against my zipper for the second time that evening. Bella's eyes darkened as she stared up at me and seductively began to mouth the lyrics.

_I need you tonight_  
_'Cause I'm not sleeping_  
_There's something about you boy_  
_That makes me sweat_

Bella ground her center against my straining cock as one of my hands slid down to cup her ass, the other making its way up her back to tangle itself in her hair. Both of her hands went to the back of my neck as she pulled me down for a searing kiss.

_How do you feel?_  
_I'm lonely_  
_What do you think?_  
_Can't think it all_  
_Whatcha gonna do?_  
_Gonna live my life_

The lyrics to the song echoed around in my brain as we writhed against each other to the beat. The kiss deepened, our tongues engaged in an erotic dance of their own.

_So slide over here_  
_And give me a moment_  
_Your moves are so raw_  
_I've got to let you know_  
_I've got to let you know_  
_You're one of my kind_

I slid my hand down her thigh and grasped the back of her knee hitching her leg up on to my hip. Bella pulled her lips from mine and leaned back, her full breasts tilted up toward my face. My lips trailed down the column of her neck and I licked at the skin just above the opening of her shirt.

_I need you tonight_  
_'Cause I'm not sleeping_  
_There's something about you girl_  
_That makes me sweat_

Bella continued to grind her pussy as hard she could all over my junk as I licked my way back up the side of her neck and sucked at the spot just below her ear.

_So how do you feel?_  
_I'm lonely_  
_What do you think?_  
_Can't think it all_  
_Whatcha gonna do?_  
_Gonna live my life_

My dick was throbbing in my pants, begging to be set free, and I knew that if we didn't get out of here pretty fucking quickly, we'd soon be the starring in our very own live sex show. With that in mind, I pulled my lips from her neck and lowered her leg back down, placing my hands back on her hips. "You wanna go?" I asked, my voice husky and slightly breathless from our activities. Bella looked thoughtful for a moment, biting her bottom lip, before nodding her head and pulling me quickly toward the nearest exit. Not needing to pick up my guitar - Jazz and Seth were gonna collect all our gear in the morning - I followed her out on to the street and hailed a cab.

Thankfully the cab ride back to my place was a short one and only took about fifteen minutes. Bella sat nestled into my side, my arm wrapped around her shoulders holding her close. She gnawed away on her bottom lip while constantly drumming the fingers of her left hand on the seat beside her. My right knee bobbed up and down as I dragged my fingers through my hair, struggling to contain the pent up energy that coursed through my body. The air practically crackled with electricity, the atmosphere so thick with sexual tension it was almost claustrophobic. Finally the cab pulled to a halt outside my place and I flung the door open, quickly paying the cabbie before clambering out. Bella was already out of the cab and waiting for me on the sidewalk by the old factory door.

No sooner had the cab pulled away than she leapt into my arms, attacking my face with fevered kisses. Her legs clamped tightly around my waist, the heels of her shoes digging into my ass, as I hoisted her up and wrapped my arms around her. My lips captured hers in an open-mouthed kiss and her tongue plunged into my mouth seeking its mate. Her hands were in my hair, tugging lightly and grazing my scalp with her fingernails. I held her firmly to me with one arm as I struggled to get my keys out of my pocket with my free hand. I somehow managed to extract them and get the door open without breaking our kiss.

Once inside the building, I kicked the door closed behind us and reluctantly pulled my mouth from hers. "Bella," I panted breathlessly against her lips, as she tried to keep my mouth captive. "I need to be able to see where I'm going or we're gonna break our necks on these fucking stairs."

"Okay," she murmured releasing her hold on me, sliding her legs from around my waist. I set her down gently and turned to lock the door. Bella's arms snaked around my waist from behind and her hands ran up and down my chest, her fingernails scratching at my flesh through the fabric of my shirt, making my dick impossibly harder than it already was. Not wanting any interruptions, and knowing that both Jazz and Alice had keys, I bolted the door. Unwrapping Bella's arms from around me, I quickly led her up the metal staircase.

At the top of the stairs I slid one arm around her waist, pulling her in front of me and pressed my hardness firmly into her ass cheeks as I unlocked the door. Bella's arms reached up and behind her to pull my head down, placing my lips against her neck, as her hips pushed back into me grinding her butt against my cock. I sucked and licked greedily at the base of her neck, relishing the sweet taste of her skin._ Fuck, she tastes better than she smells and she smells friggin' delicious._ I fumbled with the lock until the door finally opened and we stumbled through, practically falling against the wall at the right of the door in the process. I shoved the door shut with one arm as Bella spun around and pulled my face to hers.

We kissed frantically, nipping, licking and sucking at each other's mouths in a heated frenzy. Bella clawed at my shirt pulling it up my body, her hot little hands finding the taut muscles of my chest beneath. I pulled back slightly and yanked my shirt up over my head, not even bothering to fiddle around with the buttons, and dropped it to the floor. I pressed my hips hard into hers, effectively pinning her against the wall, as my hands began to explore her body. Bella's arms slid up and around my neck at the same time as she lifted one leg up on to my hip, grinding her pussy into me. I lifted her up to get a better angle, desperately seeking more friction, and she wrapped her legs around me, thrusting her hips into mine. My hand found its way under her shirt and I palmed her breast. Feeling her nipple harden beneath the lace of her bra, I pinched it between my thumb and forefinger. Bella gasped and bit roughly at my lip, pushing her chest into my hand. I tore my mouth from hers and trailed wet kisses down her neck before sucking furiously at the hollow at the base of her throat.

"Edward," Bella moaned breathlessly before taking hold of the hand that was on her ass, and placing it between our bodies. "Touch me, please." _Fucking hell, that's hot. _Not wanting to deny her anything I pulled my hips back slightly and slid my hand down to pull her skirt up out of the way before cupping her pussy, pressing the heel of my hand into the flesh just above her clit. Bella moaned loudly and bit down on the flesh just below my ear, making my cock throb. I deftly moved her lacy panties to the side, stroking up and down her folds gently, before sliding my fingers between her wet lips. My thumb quickly found her clit and I began making light circles over it as I teased her entrance with one finger. Bella's breathing sped up and she panted in my ear, one arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders, she licked and sucked at my neck as her other hand came down to rub my cock through my jeans.

"Fuck," I groaned, moving my hand from her breast and wrapping my arm around her back, my hand cupping her ass so she wouldn't fall. Bella leaned back against the wall, bringing her other arm down to the front of my jeans, where she worked frantically to undo my button and zipper. She made short work of the fastenings and quickly pushed my pants down out of her way before sliding her hand into my boxers, grasping my dick. "Bella," I moaned and pushed my finger into her depths as she began to move her hand up and down my shaft. _Damn she's tight. _Bella ran her thumb over the head of my cock spreading the pre-cum around as I pushed another finger into her and curled them up inside. We worked each other at a frenetic pace as our mouths met once more in a desperate kiss.

"Edward, I want you," Bella sighed against my lips. I pulled my face away from hers to look into her eyes, not believing what I just heard.

"What?" I blurted, stilling my movements, probably looking as stunned as I fucking felt.

"I said, I want you, Edward. Now!" she replied firmly. As if to remove any doubt as to what she meant pulled my cock from my boxers and thrust her hips into my hand, where my fingers where still buried inside her.

"Here?" I asked, completely fucking phased by her directness. "Like this?" I gestured with my eyes indicating our position against the wall.

"Yes, here," she stated, sounding irritated with my questioning.

This wasn't exactly how I imagined taking her; I would have preferred somewhere more comfortable for starters. Plus, I would have liked to take my time with her, undress her and caress her body, not just fuck her against the wall. But if this is what she wanted, then I sure as shit wasn't going to complain.

"You sure?" I queried.

"I'm sure," she answered, a determined look in her eye.

_I might be going crazy and I'm fucking _positive _I'll regret what I'm about to say, but I can't shake the feeling that this is wrong, somehow_. _Bella seems almost _too _eager to do this._

"Bella, I'm not entirely sure that this is a good..." I didn't get to finish my sentence as Bella cut me off.

"Oh, for God's sake, Edward, will you just shut up and shag me already!"

_Fuck me, who am I to argue anyway? The lady wants what the lady wants and Edward Cullen always aims to please._

Without another moment's hesitation, I removed my hand from her pussy and kissed her hard. I took her hands from my cock and placed them around my neck before taking hold of her thighs and removing them from around my waist quickly pulling her panties down as far as I could. Bella freed one leg from the scrap of lace and I pulled my pants down over my hips. Her legs wrapped back around my waist and she pushed her hot wet pussy against my dick making me gasp. "Condom," I managed to mumble between kisses as I reached around behind me taking my wallet from my back pocket. I soon found what I was after and dropped my wallet to the floor, the foil packet firmly in my grasp. I hastily sheathed my dick and shoved my pants down as far as I could. Kicking my shoes off, I used my feet to remove them, by standing on each pant leg in turn. It was a tricky maneuver but I'd had plenty of practice at getting my pants off without using my hands. I pressed Bella firmly into the wall, using my lower body to hold her in place as I started to undo the buttons on her blouse. I managed to undo three of them, exposing her bra clad chest, before she grabbed both my hands and placed them over her full breasts. Buttons completely forgotten I moved the lacy fabric of her bra down revealing her hardened buds and bent my head to pull one into my mouth. I licked and sucked on her nipple and kneaded her other breast with my hand. Bella moaned loudly and rolled her hips against mine, rubbing her pussy all over my cock. "Edward, please," she pleaded, her voice full of need. I lifted my head from her breast and looked deep into her eyes.

"I want you, too, baby. So fucking much," I murmured. I placed my hands on her ass and lifted her a little higher before taking hold of my cock and positioning it at her entrance. Knowing how tight she was and that my dick was a little on the large side, I pushed forward gently so as not to hurt her. Bella gasped as the head of my dick entered her. My eyes studied her face for any sign of pain but all I saw there was pleasure. I kissed her passionately, my tongue plundering the depths of her mouth and I swallowed her moans as I pressed my hips forward sliding my dick all the way into her warm deliciously tight pussy. _Holy fucking hell, she feels sooo good!_ Bella grabbed my hair, pulling and tugging at it, kissing me back hungrily. I pulled back and thrust into her again over and over, her hips rolling forward to meet my thrusts as her moans and cries of pleasure got louder. I thrust into her harder and faster, our mouths frantically licking, sucking and nipping at each other's flesh. Bella's heels pressed into my ass spurring me on as my legs began to tremble. I knew I wouldn't last long and not wanting to finish this here - and have her pull her panties back on like some cheap slut - I wrapped my arms around her and carried her to the bedroom.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop," Bella cried as I went to pull out of her, to lay her on the bed.

"I'm not baby, don't panic," I whispered into her ear. "Nothing could make me stop fucking your beautiful tight pussy right now. I just want you to be comfortable when I make you cum all over my cock."

"Oh, God," she moaned removing her purse strap from around her—it had somehow remained hanging across her body—and throwing her purse across the bedroom. "There, I'm comfortable. Do it, please. Make me cum. I _need _you to do it, Edward."

_She's fucking begging you, Cullen. Get on with it. Give her what she wants._ "I will, baby, I will," I mumbled as I lowered us both to the bed without pulling out of her.

Once we were situated on the bed, I raised myself up on my elbows and began to thrust in to her again. I lowered my head to her breast and bit down on her pink nipple as I sped up my movements. Bella writhed and moaned on the bed beneath me, her hands clawing at my bare shoulders. It wasn't long before I felt the familiar tingling in my balls and knew that if I wanted her to cum before me, I had to make it happen quick. Taking my weight on one arm, I slid my hand down between our bodies and rubbed at her clit, sucking ravenously on her nipple as I felt her walls begin to tighten around me. I angled my hips thrusting deeper into her. My dick began to throb as she started to fall apart beneath me.

"Bella, cum for me sweetheart. Let it go, baby," I purred, lifting my gaze to her beautiful face.

"Edward," she screamed. Her pussy pulsed around my cock and her legs shook as her orgasm claimed her.

"Ughh, Bella," I groaned loudly as I thrust once more into her, my dick throbbing like a mother fucker as I came hard. My lips crashed down onto hers and I pulled her into my arms, riding out our high together. _Fuck me! That was fucking amazing._

Once our breathing returned to normal and our pounding heartbeats slowed to their ordinary rhythm, I rolled off her - hastily disposing of the condom in the trash basket at the side of the bed before tucking my dick back into my boxers – and pulled her gently into my side. My arms wrapped tightly around her as I held her close, her head resting on my chest. I stroked her shoulder, my fingers tracing small circles on the bare flesh at the top of her arm. Bella sighed in contentment and I smiled down at her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

She was virtually fully clothed, but I didn't care; there was no way I was letting her out of my arms right now. I'd never felt this content or at peace before and it was all because of this woman in my arms. She'd somehow managed to look past the cloak of cocky arrogance I used to shield myself from others and saw the man that lay beneath. _The man that, for the first time in years, has actually met someone he wants to be with._

"Good night, Bella," I whispered into her hair and drifted off to sleep looking forward to waking up with my girl in my arms. _And that's exactly how it fucking should be._

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	10. Assumptions

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****Chapter 10: Assumptions**

**BPOV**

I blinked and stretched; my foot bumped into something warm as my legs extended fully in the bed. I stopped suddenly, and carefully pulled my body back into a 'closed' position. _I'm in Edward's bed. _I remembered back to the previous night, and was overcome with a sense of peace and contentment in the step we'd taken. Things had started out manic and rushed, but ended up so sweet. He'd cuddled me as we fell asleep and even kissed my forehead. I'd never been with a man who seemed to enjoy the afterglow almost as much as the main event. It had been really…nice.

I slowly rolled over, trying not to jostle the bed and wake him. When I was lying fully on my side, I opened my eyes slowly, carefully, as if even that movement would somehow wake him. I breathed a slight sigh of relief when I saw that he was, in fact, still fast asleep. I raised myself slightly up, trying to peer over his muscular shoulder at the alarm clock. 4:15 a.m. My eyes drifted from the clock to the slumbering form of Edward beside me. God, he looked so sexy lying there in just his black boxers, his taut muscles on display. _He really is perfect. _I imagined what I must look like next to him. I thought of the fairy tale where the ugly duckling turned into a swan. Well, in our case he was the swan, beautiful and elegant, and I was the one with the plain brown feathers waddling along after him.

The panic began to rise in my chest, making me feel nauseous. I could only imagine how Edward would react when he saw me for who I really was: the ugly duckling. Once he really got to know me, there's no way he'd want anything to do with me. There were loads of women more beautiful than me out there who would be better for him than I would; I had nothing to keep him. There was absolutely nothing desirable about me. Not to mention that these women would be able to satisfy him in ways I never could. Jake's words echoed in my mind once again. _You'll never be good for any man, Bella. You're cold, stiff and god damn frigid._

Although I knew that wasn't true, last night with Edward had proved that, I still knew that Edward wouldn't keep me around for long though. This time it was Alice's voice I heard, confirming what I already knew. _No one makes it past the second date with Edward, Bella._

_I did, though. I did make it._

_Have you slept with him yet?_

_I have now, _I thought miserably.

_That's how you're different._

_But I'm not different anymore. I'm just like all the other women. _

The realization of what I'd done hit me like a ton of bricks. Their weight felt real and it pressed down on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I clutched at my chest and tried to calm the panic attack I could feel approaching. I took in a few deep breaths and as the panic receded, reality set in. I'd thrown myself at him and now I was just another notch on his was no way he'd want anything to do with me anymore. I'd caved, failed; let myself down in the worst way possible. I'd tried to resist him, and had been successful for seven weeks: the six that he was my patient and the one since we'd started dating. _Dating? Is that what we'd been doing this whole time? _I'd heard it for myself, though: Edward Cullen didn't date. He'd surely just been keeping me around until he wore me down enough that I'd sleep with him. And I'd lasted a week. One measly week. _You're pathetic._

I could just imagine the awkwardness that would ensue in the morning when Edward awoke. I couldn't bear to put myself through the humiliation of watching him make excuses, of how he was 'busy' this week. Or say that he'd call, when deep down we both knew that he wouldn't. _I have to get of here, now!_

I carefully stretched up again, peeking at the clock once more. It was now 4:20. I had to get a move on if I was going to somehow manage to leave before he woke up. I scoffed internally. _After the night we had, he'll probably sleep until noon. _I still didn't want to risk being here when he woke up. There was no way in hell I could deal with the rejection in person. It was bad enough that I'd lost my self-control; I wasn't interested in facing the consequences of my actions. Not yet, anyway.

I cautiously rolled back over and shifted, lowering my feet to the ground first, before sitting up. When I'd successfully managed that feat, I rose ever-so-slowly from the bed, again being overly careful not to jostle Edward. I was grateful he'd released me during the night. It had been nice falling asleep in his arms, _almost as if he actually wants me_, but if I'd had to pry myself away from him now, that would've been disastrous.

I looked around the room for my panties. _Whoa, déjà vu, _I thought, remembering the first time I'd woken up in the same apartment as Edward. At least this time, my underwear problem came from the amazing sex we'd had the previous night instead of an alcohol-induced stupor. I much preferred this sex-induced stupor over the other kind. In the grand scheme of things, though, it didn't matter in the slightest. All that mattered right now was finding the freakin' scrap of fabric and getting the hell out of here.

I carefully picked my way around the room, moving things and trying to find my underwear. The rest of my clothes were still on my body; I remembered that I hadn't let him undress me fully. I was kind of glad now that I was still fully clothed. It would make my getaway much easier. I glanced over at Edward and gasped slightly at the sight of him. As attractive as I'd thought he'd been every other time I'd seen him, none of those visions held a candle to what I was seeing now. He looked very innocent in his sleep, but that was a given; everyone looked innocent as they slumbered. There was really no way not to; that was just a characteristic of humans. His attractiveness now was something more than that, something I couldn't quite place my finger on. _Stop ogling him and get moving! _The voice in my head was loud and insistent.

I spotted my lace panties at the foot of the bed, near Edward's left foot. I snatched them up quickly and slipped them on underneath my skirt. I hadn't kicked my shoes off until we'd come into the bedroom, and I found the black, strappy sandals quickly and slung them over two fingers, not wanting to put them on and risk the clicking sound waking him up before I was gone. The only thing worse than facing Edward's sure rejection of me when he woke up would be him catching me half way out the door. I had to be careful. I paused a moment, trying to remember whether I had anything else here. The only thing I could remember was my purse; I knew I'd brought it, but where was it now?

I tiptoed toward the door and somehow managed to trip over something on the floor. I caught myself before I fell all the way down, but not before I made a lot of noise. My heart felt like it stopped, and I turned back to the bed to make sure I hadn't woken Edward. I watched, horrified, as he stretched and his eyes fluttered. _Move! Run! _I couldn't, though. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor. Edward sighed and rolled over; he was now facing away from me, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I looked down at my feet and realized that the something I'd tripped over was, in fact, my missing purse. I scooped it up quickly and made a hasty retreat. After closing the door as quietly as I could manage, I scurried down the stairs and out the main door. I wasn't sure whether I should feel relieved or not at having made it out undetected. I slipped my sandals onto my bare feet as soon as I was outside, hobbling first on one foot, then the other as I put them on without stopping.

One thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to be alone right now. It didn't matter that it wasn't even five in the morning yet; I couldn't go home right now. I didn't want to hang around here, and I didn't have my car, so I quickly started walking away from Edward's building. When I was what felt like a safe distance away, I ducked into a twenty-four hour cafe and called a cab; I decided that Emily and Leah's place would be 'safer' than home. I needed both of them right now, and I was glad that they still lived together. A waitress approached me then, and even though I knew I would be leaving just as soon as the cab showed up, I ordered a cup of coffee. Fortunately, she was quick, and returned about a minute later with the steaming mug. I downed it quickly, the hot liquid searing my throat on the way down, and by the time I set the cup down and peered out the diner window, there was a yellow cab just pulling up to the curb. I left a few dollars on the table and hurried outside, climbing into the cab and giving the cabbie my friends' address.

As soon as he pulled into traffic, I realized it would probably be a good idea to let Leah and Emily know I was on my way, so I dialed first Leah's number, which went to voicemail after four rings, then Emily's, which did the same. I continued to alternate between their two phones until finally, Emily answered hers after my fourth of fifth attempt. "Hello?" She sounded groggy. _Of course she's groggy, you idiot! It's the butt-crack of dawn._

"Hey, Em, it's Bella."

"Bella? What's going on?"

"I need to come over. Is that okay?"

"It's the middle of the night, Bella. Can't this wait until morning?"

"The sun's nearly up, Emily, it's not the middle of the night. It's almost five."

"Five? For a Sunday, that's the middle of the night."

"I can't go home right now. Please let me come over."

"What do you mean you can't go home right now?"

"I'll tell you when I get there. I'm five minutes out."

"Wait, Bella. What's going on? This isn't like you."

"I'll explain everything when I get there," I repeated.

"Fine. I'll start a pot of coffee."

"Thanks Em. You're the best." I hung up my cell phone and spent the rest of the journey thinking about what Emily had said. _This isn't like you. _I wasn't sure whether or not that was true. Maybe it was _exactly_ like me, I just hadn't ever been in a situation that warranted the kind of behavior I'd just exhibited. There was no way to know, because I never intended to be in that situation again, with Edward or anyone else, even if that meant I had to be celibate for the rest of my life. Celibacy was a small price to pay to avoid the humiliation I was sure to experience should I ever have sex again. The cab pulled up outside the house that Emily and Leah shared, I took a few deep breaths before quickly paying the cabbie and hauling my pathetic behind up the walkway. I knew I'd have to explain myself as soon as I entered the house, so I walked deliberately slower than normal, not looking forward to the barrage of questions that I knew awaited me on the other side of the door.

I had a thought about halfway up the path, and reached into the depths of my purse, extracted my cell phone, and turned it off. _Not that Edward's going to call me anyway. He got his conquest. Better to be sure, though. He's the last person I want to talk to right now. _I dropped the phone back into my bag and finished the walk up to the door.

My hand was poised to knock on the door when it was suddenly flung open. I expected to see Emily standing behind it, since I'd talked to her on the phone, but it was Leah. She reached out with one hand, grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me inside. I felt almost like a cartoon character and I imagined my legs flying out behind me in some sort of comedy routine.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at her once we were standing in the foyer with the door shut firmly behind us.

"I could ask you the same question," she spat back. "Calling a zillion times in the freakin' middle of the night? What the hell is going on?"

Her tone sobered me and not only erased my irritation at the way she'd unceremoniously pulled me into the house, but made me feel ashamed about what I'd done, both last night with Edward and here and now, imposing on my best friends in the wee hours of the morning. "It's not the middle of the night," I mumbled feebly, offering the same defense I'd given Emily over the phone. I knew she was right, though. I'd seriously overstepped the bounds of our friendship.

"Seriously, Bella? You know what, whatever. Fine, it's not the middle of the night; it's sunrise. I'll give you that. It is much too early for company, though. What gives?"

"Let's go in the kitchen. Emily told me she was making coffee. We can all talk there." Leah eyed me speculatively, almost as if she didn't believe that I would talk to them now. "I promise I'll tell you; I just want some coffee first," I assured her.

"Fine. Let's go." We walked together to the kitchen where Emily was just pouring the steaming black liquid into mugs.

"Just in time," she said, seeing Leah and me. She smiled warmly, and I was instantly reminded of why I liked Emily. "Here you go." She handed each of us a cup and took the third for herself, then we all moved to the dining room table.

I didn't want a repeat of the last time we'd been together, which had also been for an intervention that I requested, thanks to Edward—_Jeez, what is that man doing to me?_—so I spoke up before Leah could harangue me again. I had no idea of how to approach the subject subtly, so I just blurted it out. "I slept with Edward."

"What!" they exclaimed simultaneously.

"Yeah. Last night. I spent the night at his place and everything."

"Wait. You spent the night at _his _place, and yet you're here at five in the morning? Why aren't you there, asleep in his bed?" Leah asked.

"Leah, hold on a minute," Emily said before I could answer. "Bella, are you sure that was such a good idea?"

"Of course I'm not!" I practically wailed. "That's why I left before he woke up. I know that now he's gotten what he wanted out of me, I'll be thrown out like yesterday's trash."

"What are you talking about?" Leah asked, looking confused.

_Oh, yeah. I didn't break the doctor/patient confidentiality clause before; they don't know why he'd been coming to therapy in the first place. _I thought for another minute, wondering how much I could get away with telling them without breaking the code of ethics. Not bloody much. _Although_, I thought, _so long as I don't mention anything about a sex addiction, I should be in the clear. It's not like Em or Lee would tell anyone, anyway. _And based on the way I'd had to practically force him the previous night, I was more confident than ever that he _didn't _have an addiction to sex. "Edward sleeps with a lot of women," I began delicately. "And I'm pretty sure that was the only reason he wanted to see me; so that I'd sleep with him. I'd been doing a pretty good job of holding myself together, until last night that is."

"What made the difference last night?" Emily queried.

"It was more what happened the day before, actually. Fridays are my half-day, remember? Well, I was having breakfast at that little café right by my apartment, and his sister recognized me and insisted on spending the morning together."

"Okay," Emily said slowly. "I'm not sure I see the connection between spending a few hours with his sister and sleeping with him, Bella. You're going to have to enlighten me."

I glanced back and forth between the two of them, almost hoping Leah would intercede with one of her witty comments. No such luck; she looked like she was trying to figure out my rationale, too. I took a deep breath and continued. "Alice said that Edward doesn't have female friends, and that she was, quote, surprised I'd lasted a full week with her brother." I made those little air-quotes with my fingers when I was repeating Alice's words. My friends still didn't look like they understood what had propelled me to take the step I'd taken the previous night. "Well, isn't it obvious?" I asked, then went on to answer my own question without giving either of them a chance. "I could either have sex with him, or lose him. There were no other options. It didn't make sense that he was with me in the first place, and—"

Emily cut me off, which was really something; she was always more a listener than an interrupter, so if she was interjecting, it had to be important. "What do you mean, _there were no other options?_ Why couldn't things just continue the way they were going, Bella? I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't your biggest supporter when you decided to date him in the first place, but you did, and it seemed to be going well. Why change things?"

"Were you not listening to her?" Leah asked. "She didn't think he'd stick around if she didn't."

"That's not a good reason to do something," Emily said, and her voice had a hint of sadness in it. "This is why I didn't think it was a good idea for you to date a patient, Bella."

"Ex-patient," I contradicted meekly.

"Whatever. You're a sex therapist, Bella; you may not have told us Edward's problem specifically, but it was obviously sex-related or he wouldn't have been seeing you. I could tell by the way you were talking about him last weekend that you already really liked him. That's why I tried to discourage you from dating him. I just had a feeling you would end up in his bed."

"That's not the only reason, though," I added quickly, feeling a need to defend my decision. Emily eyed me almost suspiciously, waiting for me to continue. "I just..." I trailed off, trying to form my words. "I needed to prove to myself that I could be with a man and enjoy it, you know? I mean, you guys are two of only five people on the planet who know what Jacob said to me, and more importantly how it affected me. I haven't been the same since that, and I'm ready to move on."

Emily face softened. "I can see that, now that you explain it that way, Bella. But you still shouldn't have rushed things. And you can't convince me that you didn't hurry this."

"You know what, Emily?" Leah cut in. "None of that even matters anymore. The real issue now is, why did you leave?"

I hated this feeling of being put on the spot; I was supposed be the therapist, not the patient. "Because as soon as he woke up, he would've just told me he was done with me anyway."

"How do you know that?" Leah demanded. "That's an awfully big assumption to just force on someone. Did he tell you that?"

"No, but, he's been with lots of girls, and I have it on good authority—from both Edward and Alice—that no one lasts more that two dates with him."

"But you've already lasted more than two dates, haven't you?" Leah pointed out, as blunt as always.

"I've been out with him twice and I helped him unpack his boxes. Oh, and he took me to lunch earlier in the week, so I guess four dates?" I'd started out simply stating the facts, but it turned into a question by the end.

"Four? So double the average?" Leah clarified.

"Yes?" I still couldn't lose that questioning quality to my voice.

"Yes. That's right, _double _the average, Bella. That's gotta count for something, right?"

I frowned. She may have had a point, but I still wasn't convinced. There was no way he'd see me the same way now. _How could he?_

"Listen," Leah interrupted my thoughts. "If you ask me, I think it was petty and childish of you to run out on him. And honestly, I bet he worries about you when he wakes up and finds that you've ditched him."

"Do you really think so?" I felt hope for the first time all morning.

"I don't know him, Bella, so I can't tell you for sure, but if he's worth anything, then he'll at least call you."

"He won't be calling me," I said quietly.

"How do you know? That's an awfully big assumption," Emily said, speaking again for the first time since Leah had interrupted her.

"I turned my phone off."

"Are you flippin' kidding me?" Leah screeched. "For crying out loud, Bella, why the hell did you turn your phone off?"

"I don't want to talk to him. Plus, that way when he doesn't call, I won't be disappointed."

Leah closed her eyes, and I knew from experience that she was counting to ten in her head. I'd frustrated her to the point of anger and she was reigning in her temper before speaking to me again. I tensed, knowing that I was going to get the tongue lashing of the century when she finally spoke.

But she surprised me. Very calmly, with her eyes still closed, she asked, "Was he that bad, Bella?"

"What?" I couldn't hide my shock.

She opened her eyes slowly and gazed at me. "Seriously, he must've been really horrible in the sack if you won't even talk to him a few hours later."

"No! Jeez, it's not like that. He was…actually really amazing. The sex was mind-blowing." My cheerleaders roused from their slumber at the memory, stretching and yawning as they awoke. I silently told them to go back to sleep.

"Then what is it? I'm trying to be a friend here, trying to understand where you're coming from, but I'm failing. You're gonna have to do better than that if you want me to continue this conversation."

"Let's just say he's been around the block a few times," I replied. "And, well, I haven't. I can't imagine that I was as good for him as he was for me last night."

"So you're judging him based on his past, then," she said, stating a fact more than asking a question.

"I suppose so," I said; I thought I knew where she was going to go with this, and my suspicions were confirmed when she spoke.

"What about _your _past, Bella? Have you even told him about all the shit you've been through?" I sat silently, tears forming in my eyes as I dropped my gaze from Leah, staring into my coffee cup. "I didn't think so. It's really unfair of you to judge him based on his past; would you want him to do the same thing to you? Make assumptions?"

I couldn't respond. I didn't want to think about my past; I wanted to move forward. _That was the whole point behind pushing him last night. _I didn't want my past to determine my future anymore. I needed a fresh start, a clean slate. But I didn't know how I was ever going to get that. _Did I even deserve one, though? By leaving this morning, I didn't offer Edward that same opportunity to start fresh. Why should I get another chance when I hadn't afforded him the same luxury?_

I watched a tear drop into my coffee with a _plop._

"Now look what you did," I heard Emily hiss at Leah. "She's crying." A warm pair of arms surrounded me, and while I knew Em was trying to comfort me, all I could think was that I wished I'd get to feel Edward's arms again. I knew that was never going to happen, though.

"I'd apologize, but I'm not sorry. I only told her what she needed to hear," Leah said, defending her actions. "What she's doing to that guy is deplorable."

"Leah," Emily started.

"And you," Leah interrupted, speaking to me now, "You need to get your crap figured out and figure out how to live again. You've been a shell of your former self for the past seven years. This week, you were actually starting to act normal again, and it was nice. Then you come here today and it's as if you were with James again." I winced when she said his name. "Look, Bella, I care about you, okay? I wouldn't be telling you all of this if I didn't."

"I know," I whispered. I deserved everything she dished out to me, too, and I knew that as well. Knowing it didn't make it any easier to listen to, however. "So, I think I'm gonna go home and get some sleep. I'll call you guys later, okay?" I stood without waiting for either of them to respond. With my purse slung over my shoulder, I left the room, hopefully looking purposeful and resolute in my decision, although I doubted it.

I was as far as the sidewalk outside when I realized that I'd taken a cab over. "Shit!" I muttered under my breath. I'd have to call another one to take me home. This stupid day was getting really expensive, and it was barely seven o'clock. I turned around to find my friends watching me from the front door. "Come on, I'll take you home," Emily said gently.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

-x-

By the time she dropped me off at my door, I was exhausted; I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. The few hours I had slept had been amazing, some of the best in recent memory, but they were still few. I let myself into my apartment and collapsed onto the couch. I needed some sleep, but I didn't want to waste the entire day, so I turned my cell phone back on to use its alarm clock. That turned out to be a big mistake. As soon as it found cell service, it started vibrating like mad with incoming text messages and calls that I'd missed during the hours it was off. All of them were from Edward.

_Hey, where'd you go? Call me._

_Bella? What's going on? Where are you? Call me._

_You're scaring me! Please call me so I at least know you're safe._

_Hey! I don't know what I did to piss you off, but please call. If you don't want to call, at least text me back and let me know you're okay._

They got more and more urgent as the time got closer and closer to the present, and the one request that was omnipresent was to return his call. I couldn't, though. I knew he was just calling and texting to be polite, and there was no reason for it. He didn't actually care about me, he just wanted to be sure I didn't cause problems for him with his father. _Don't worry, Edward; I won't mention it to anyone. Well, to anyone else._

By the time I'd read all of the text messages he'd sent during the time my phone was off, there were two new ones from him. I realized that I wouldn't get any respite if I kept the phone turned on, regardless of the reason I had it turned on. So I pushed the power button again and watched as the screen went black. I lay down on the couch, tears streaming down my face, and pulled the quilt that I kept on the back of the sofa down over me. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried myself to sleep.

The very next sound I heard was a sharp rapping on my door, followed immediately by Edward's voice. "Bella! Are you in there?"

**Thanks to everyone who sent us questions for our Edward interview, it'll be posted on our blog on Monday. Also stop by the blog and check out E & B's character bios that posted this week. Remember teasers post on there on Mondays too. **

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	11. Out of Touch

**A/N: We don't own Twilight, but if we did, there's no way those books would've ended up PG-13 ;).**

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Chapter 11: Out Of Touch

EPOV

_Bella!_ It was the first thought to enter my sleep-addled mind as I shivered and groped groggily for the covers. Memories of the previous evening filtered into my semi-conscious brain and I smiled. I rolled over and blindly reached for her to pull her back into my arms, seeking not only her warmth but the comfort her presence provided. Instead of her warm, sexy little body all I found was a cold, empty bed. My eyes snapped open as I registered her absence. _What the fuck? _

Confused, I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. It was still quite dark, the early morning light just beginning to filter through the large window. I was beginning to wonder whether the events of last night were just a dream. _A damn realistic dream. Not even my perverted imagination could have conjured that up. _My eyes scanned the room for any sign that last night had been real, until they settled on the trash basket at the side of the bed, the used condom giving me all the confirmation I needed. _But if it wasn't a dream, where the fuck was she?_

My gaze flicked to the alarm clock; it was just before six, too early to be up and about on a Sunday morning. I wondered briefly whether she was just using the main bathroom rather than the smaller one that adjoined the bedroom. I quickly dismissed that thought, realizing that if that was the case she would have been back by now. Besides that, the apartment was deathly quiet, not a sound coming through the open bedroom door. _She's not making coffee, either, then_, I thought, rubbing the back of my neck and collapsing back on the bed with a sigh.

_Of course she's not, she's gone! She left you! _a voice in my head taunted me. A voice I hadn't heard in years. A voice I'd managed to silence long ago. _Her_ voice. _Just took what she wanted and slunk out of here in the middle of the night without even saying goodbye._

_No! Bella wouldn't do that to me. She's. Not_. _You__!_I silently answered, refusing to acknowledge the possibility that Bella was capable of doing such a thing. Not even I had ever sunk so low as to sneak out of a women's apartment in the middle of the night. I'd been tempted a few times, sure, but I'd never done it. _Maybe she went to get breakfast, like I did for her last weekend. Yeah, that's it. She'll be back soon with coffee and sandwiches hoping to surprise me. _Not wanting to spoil things, if that was indeed where she was, I hurried to the bathroom and took a quick piss before returning to the bed to wait for her. Determined not to listen to the voice in my head that told me I was wrong, I focused my thoughts on last night. I smiled as I remembered the feel of her body beneath mine, the way her hands had clawed at my skin and the look on her beautiful face as she'd screamed my name in ecstasy. I lost myself in the memories, silently reliving every amazing moment, but by six-fifteen the doubts were back.

_She used you, Edward. She didn't want you, that's why she left. _The voice in my head was back, louder and more determined to make me see the truth.

_No, that's not true. _I recalled the way Bella had begged for me to pleasure her, the way she clung to me afterward just as tightly as I'd clung to her, the small sigh of contentment she'd released when she lay in my arms. The voice was wrong; she _had _wanted me, needed me even, like no one ever had. _She'd never just up and leave without a word. Or at least a good reason_. I leapt out of bed to look for a note that would explain why she wasn't still here with me, saying that she was sorry but that there'd been some kind of emergency and that she hadn't wanted to wake me.

When my search of the apartment proved fruitless, I decided to check my phone. _Maybe she'd left in a hurry, forgetting to leave a note in her haste and had tried to call me or left me a message_. I retrieved my pants from by the front door and pulled my phone from the pocket. _Shit, nothing. What the hell is going on? She wouldn't really just fucking leave me like this for no reason, would she? _The not knowing was driving me fucking crazy so I decided just to find out. I called her cell and it went straight to voice mail. "Fuck!"

_She's turned her phone off, Edward. She doesn't even want to speak to you anymore._

_No! Please don't let that be true. There has to be some other explanation. _I quickly fired off a text hoping that her battery was just dead or she had no service and that she'd call me back soon. I made a pot of coffee and fetched my cigarettes from my jacket pocket. I thought through the events of not only last night, but the past week, racking my brain for something I'd done that might have upset her. I couldn't recall a single thing that would just make her walk out on me and not want to get in touch. _Relax, Cullen, she'll call, _I told myself as I settled on the sofa with my coffee and cigarettes. I pushed the doubts to the back of my mind, flatly refusing to acknowledge the voice in my head that continued to plague me.

After thirty minutes, three cups of coffee, four cigarettes and two more texts, she still hadn't called. I began to panic. _What if something's happened to her? She could have been in an accident, attacked or anything. _I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and began calling her, frantically redialing every time I got her voice mail. "Come on, come on, pick up for God's sake," I muttered, pacing back and forth in front of the TV. I sent her more texts, practically begging her to get in touch and just let me know she was okay. I didn't care anymore why she left or if she didn't fucking want me, I just wanted to know that she was safe.

The voice in my head continued to mock me, telling me that I was clutching at straws; that Bella was fine and just didn't care enough about me to stick around. Thoughts whirled around in my brain as I mentally argued with myself until eventually, the voice won and I started to accept the fact that Bella just didn't want me, plain and fucking simple. There was no accident or early morning mugging, no emergency that pulled her from my bed. She just fucking up and left, without so much as a 'thank you' or a 'kiss my ass.' _Well fuck her, if this was the way she wants it, then fine by me. _I wasn't going to waste anymore time sitting around waiting for her. _There are plenty of women out there who'd give their right arm to be with me._ With that thought I tossed my phone onto the couch and went to get dressed not caring anymore whether she fucking called me back or not. I dressed quickly in my running gear, grabbed my keys from the pocket of the pants I wore last night and headed out the door.

I ran further than I usually did, wanting to clear my head and gain a little perspective on this fucked up mess. My feet pounded the sidewalk and sweat dripped from my forehead as I pushed my body to its limit. No matter how hard I tried to push her from my mind, thoughts of Bella haunted my every step and I mentally berated myself for being so fucking stupid in the first place. _I should have known she'd pull something like this. Why the hell would a successful, sexy woman like her want a useless, no good, womanizing prick like me. Hell, this whole thing was probably some scheme she cooked up with my father to teach me a lesson. Well they can both go and fuck themselves. I'm Edward fucking Cullen and I don't need either of them. _

-x-

By ten o'clock, I had calmed down and was in a somewhat philosophical mood. I sat at the piano, my fingers moving idly across the keys, picking out a melancholy tune. The notes perfectly mirrored my disappointed thoughts. Now that my earlier anger had abated, I was having a hard time accepting that everything Bella and I had shared meant nothing. I'd thought that she really liked me, that she'd saw more to me than just my looks. I'd dropped the arrogant asshole routine and had been myself with her. The worst thing about that was that I'd actually felt comfortable with who I was for the first time in years. I'd started to believe that someone wanted me for _me _and not just what I could give them. _Had it all been just a game to her? I fucking hope not._

Just then, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I stood up, pulling it out quickly and flipped it open, without even looking at the screen to see who was calling. "Bella?" I asked urgently into the phone, desperately hoping it was her.

"Well, that answers my question," my sister's voice replied.

"What do you want Alice?" I sighed, disappointment crashing over me.

"Good morning to you too, Edward," she said sarcastically. "I _was_ calling to see if Bella is with you, but by the way you answered the phone, I guess she isn't."

"Obviously not."

"Well, do you know where she is?"

"Why the hell would I know that?" I snapped.

"Because you two were practically joined at the lips last night. So when she didn't turn up to meet me for brunch, I naturally assumed it was because she was still attached to your face. I've tried calling her but keep getting her voicemail."

"Listen, Alice, I don't know where the fuck she is and I haven't heard from her since last night. And to be perfectly honest, I don't fucking expect to hear from her in the future."

"What did you do this time, Edward?" she asked with a sigh. "I knew you'd go and screw it up."

"I didn't do a fucking thing, okay?" I practically yelled into the phone. "I like how you automatically think it had to be something I did. Good old Edward, fucking everything up again." All the anger and frustration welled up inside me again and came spewing forth in a vicious torrent. "Well, this time it _fucking wasn't me._ I believed all her bullshit about wanting to get to know me. I let my guard down and let her in. I actually liked her. Then she just fucking sneaks out of here in the middle of the night without a fucking word." I paused for breath, the anger fading, hurt and disappointment taking its place, then added quietly, "She left me, Alice. Just like Tanya."

"I'm on my way and I'm bringing brunch," Alice stated firmly, hanging up before I could argue.

-x-

Less than an hour later I was sitting at the table with my sister eating my favorite blueberry pancakes, having told her everything. I'd poured my heart out to her, telling her the truth about what happened with me and Tanya back in high school. I told her all about the past week with Bella, including all the events of last night. How Bella had practically thrown herself at me, desperate and determined to get what she wanted. How I'd suspected at the time that something wasn't right but had gone through with it, despite my reservations, like the horny fucker I was. I even told her my theory that it had been Bella's, and most likely Carlisle's, plan all along to teach me a lesson. Alice had listened to it all without interrupting, which was a miracle in itself, and was now sitting quietly, a thoughtful expression on her delicate features. She sipped her coffee slowly, her brow creased in concentration, eyes locked on the table cloth as if it held all the mysteries of the universe. I'd seen her like this before and knew that she was digesting everything I'd told her and thinking things through carefully before giving me her opinion.

Just as I finished my last pancake, Alice sighed and looked up at me, placing her coffee mug down firmly on the table. "Okay, Alice, let me have it," I said with a smirk, leaning back in my chair and folding my arms across my chest.

Alice chuckled softy and shook her head before locking gazes with me. "Okay, first of all, you should have told me what that skank did to you at the time. She may have been older and bigger than me but I would have beat the shit out of her for what she did to you. It was horrible, mean and damn cruel to play games with you like that. No one gets away with hurting my big brother," she stated ferociously, leaving me with no doubt that she would have beaten Tanya to a pulp and probably still would, if she ever got her hands on her.

"Thanks," I said with a smile, unfolding my arms and placing them on the table.

"Secondly, I want to apologize for jumping to conclusions earlier. Not that you can really blame me, what with your track record. But I knew things were different with Bella; I saw how happy you were with her and I should have had more faith in you." Alice reached for my hands, taking them in hers and giving them a gentle squeeze. I nodded and squeezed hers back letting her know I understood. She smiled at me, then took a deep breath before continuing. "Also I think you're wrong about your theory. I know you probably won't believe me, but Dad would never be involved in something like that."

"Wouldn't he?" I asked raising my eyebrows at her skeptically.

"No, he wouldn't," she stated firmly. "He'd never deliberately do something to hurt you. He simply isn't capable of it."

"Well, I never thought he was capable of blackmail either, but I was wrong," I retorted.

"Be that as it may, I don't believe for one minute that Bella would get involved in something like that."

"Really Alice? What makes you so sure? You hardly know her," I scoffed.

"Listen, I may not know Bella well, but I do know what I saw," she replied resolutely. "That girl likes you, I'm positive of it. When we had lunch the other day she went all gooey-eyed at the slightest mention of your name. Plus, I've seen the way she looks at you, the way her eyes light up when you enter a room. You can't fake something like that. She _wants you,_ Edward, trust me."

"If that were true, then why the fuck would she just leave like that?" I asked, wanting to believe her but needing some kind of explanation.

"That I don't know. There could be a million reasons why she ran out on you. Not everything has to be about you. Have you even considered the possibility that she might have issues of her own? That maybe she just got scared? Hell, with your history she probably thought that by leaving she was saving you the task of dumping her." _She couldn't have thought that, surely? Not after all the time we'd spent together. Could she? "_The only way you're going to know is if you talk to her."

"Don't you think I know that? She obviously doesn't want to talk to me or she would have called me back. I've been worried sick thinking that something could have happened to her. Despite everything, I _do _care about her," I said sincerely.

"Then what in God's name are you doing moping around here feeling sorry for yourself?" Alice tore her hands from mine and flung her arms up in exasperation. "Get your ass over to her place and make sure she's okay," she ordered, standing up and pointing to the door. "If you really care about her, Edward, show her. Make her talk to you instead of sitting around friggin' sulking." _She's right, I have to find out what the fuck is going on. _With that thought, I jumped up out of my seat and grabbed my jacket and keys.

"Thanks, Alice," I said kissing my sister on the cheek as I made my way out the door.

"Anytime, bro," she responded pulling me into a hug. "Now get out of here." I was halfway down the stairs when she called after me. "Oh and Edward, if she did do this deliberately to teach you a lesson, tell her to look out, 'cause I'll give her a lesson she'll never forget."

"Okay, Alice," I answered shaking my head and chuckling as I raced out to my car. Knowing Alice, she would too.

-x-

I parked in one of the visitors' spots in the Monticello and quickly made my way across the parking lot. I spotted Bella's car in a space near the exit. _Her car's here, which means _if _she made it back here this morning then she's probably still here._ I hurried out of the lot to the main entrance and pressed the buzzer. _Please be here. Please be okay. _I rang the buzzer repeatedly but there was no answer. I lit a cigarette and paced up and down. _Fuck, she's not here. Or she's ignoring the buzzer. If she doesn't want to speak to me then she's unlikely to answer. _I decided to wait until she either came back or gave in and answered the damn buzzer. I'd just finished my cigarette when an old lady approached the doors, struggling to carry two large shopping bags. "Here, let me help you with those?" I offered, thinking that if I could get inside I'd be able to listen at Bella's door for any sign of life. I quickly stepped forward to take the bags from her.

"Oh thank you, dear," she said allowing me take the bags from her arms and looking me up and down. "I haven't seen you around here before; are you a new tenant?"

"No, I'm just visiting my friend, Isabella Swan," I replied, smiling at her as she opened the door. "Well, I'm trying to at least, but she's not answering her buzzer, even though she's expecting me. I remember her saying the other day that it wasn't working but I thought it would be fixed by now. I've forgotten my cell phone and can't even call Bella to let her know I'm here."

"Well, it's a good thing I came along when I did, then. We wouldn't want the young lady thinking you'd stood her up, now would we?" She held the door open for me with a wide smile and I quickly followed her inside. I insisted on carrying her shopping up to her apartment on the floor above Bella's. She chattered away non-stop until we got to her door, where she thanked me for my assistance. "Such a sweet boy," she muttered to herself as I walked away, suppressing a chuckle.

I speedily made my way to Bella's apartment and rapped loudly on the door. "Bella! Are you in there?" I called, before pressing my ear to the door, listening for any signs of movement in her apartment._ Nothing. Fuck! _I knocked again. "Bella! Please, if you're here then just let me know you're okay." I waited a few minutes, still listening at the door, growing more and more desperate as thoughts of her hurt, or worse, whirled threw my mind. I banged on the door with both fists and begged once more.

"Bella! Please. I just _need_ to know you're safe," I cried. I pressed my ear back against the door and thought I heard shuffling coming from within. Hoping that I'd _actually_ heard movement inside and that she was just ignoring me I changed tactics. "If you don't want to talk to me Bella then that's okay. Just let me know you're safe and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere." I paused listening intently, this time I definitely heard something. _Yes! She's here, she's okay. _Relief surged through me. _Now all I have to do is get her to open the damn door_. "Alice has been going out of her mind with worry since you didn't turn up for brunch today. Please, Bella, I'll leave as soon as I know you're alright." It was a dirty trick to pull, using my sister like that, but so was sneaking out on someone without a fucking word. I waited a few minutes and was about to try again, when I heard the rattle of a door chain. I stepped back as the door opened a fraction and Bella peeked out.

"I'm okay, Edward. You can leave now. Tell Alice I'm sorry I made her worry and thank her for her concern." I put my hand out quickly to stop her from closing the door.

"Tell _Alice_ you're sorry?" I snapped incredulously, angry that she cared about my sister being worried but not me. "What about me? Don't I get an apology? I've been worried fucking sick about you, Bella."

"I'm sorry. Now, please leave," she whispered and made to close the door. I pushed against it harder, causing it to open a bit more. Bella looked up at me for the first time since she'd opened the door and I could see she'd been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks tear stained. My anger disappeared as quickly as it had risen at the sight of her face.

"Talk to me, please. Tell me what's wrong," I implored. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."

"I don't want to talk about it. Now just please go." She dropped her gaze back to the floor.

"No!" I stated firmly. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck this is about."

"You said you'd leave once you knew I was safe. So just go. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

"No! I _said _I'd leave once I knew you were alright and you've been crying, so you're obviously not." Her eyes shot back up to mine and I stared into her sad, watery pools, begging her with my eyes, as I pleaded with her. "Just talk to me Bella, please."

"I can't," she replied despondently, her voice filled with emotion.

"Fine," I said stepping back from the door to lean against the wall, my arms folded across my chest. "I've got all day. I can wait. I'll just stand out here until you talk to me. I mean it, Bella, I'm not moving from this spot until you let me in and explain why the hell you ran out on me. I'm a stubborn motherfucker when I want something and you'll have to come out at some point. I'll stay out here all night if I have to." With that final statement I slid down the wall and sat on the floor staring at her defiantly. Bella stared back at me for a few seconds then just sighed and closed the door.

I sat there for half an hour - determined not to give in before she did - then I rose and tried again to convince her to talk to me. I knocked on the door and called out to her. "Come on, Bella, don't do this, just let me in. I just want to know what I did to make you leave like that. If I've upset you somehow then I'm sorry. Please, Bella, don't do this to me. I thought we were friends, I thought you liked me. Open the door please." I could hear movement behind the door and knew she was listening. "I know you can hear me, Bella. I'm not going to go away. If you don't want to see me anymore then at least tell me why. I won't make a scene, I promise, I just need to know why." I waited, my forehead pressed against the door, listening to the sounds of footsteps inside. I pictured Bella pacing up and down behind the door, biting her bottom lip, trying to decide what to do. "If you talk to me then I promise to leave. I won't break a promise, Bella, I never do." The footsteps stopped but still the door remained closed. Sighing loudly, I sat back down, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees. _I have to talk to her. I have to know. _I sat there like that for what felt like an eternity until finally the door creaked open.

Bella stood in the open doorway, still wearing her clothes from last night. Her arms were clutched tightly around her chest, her teeth digging into the flesh of her lower lip as she gazed intently at the floor. Slowly, she lifted her eyes to mine and drew in a shaky breath. She looked so fucking sad and I prayed to God that I'd be able to do something to take away the pain in her eyes. "I… I'm sorry," she sobbed as fresh tears began to cascade down her cheeks. Without a moment's thought, I sprang to my feet and pulled her into my arms, clutching her trembling form tightly to my chest.

"Shh, shh, Bella, it's okay," I soothed, burying my face into her hair as she sobbed in to my chest, her hands coming up to clutch at my shirt. I shuffled us both into the apartment and kicked the door closed as she continued to weep her apologies.

"I'm... sorry, I'm... so... bloody... sorry," she choked out between sobs. "I… I shouldn't... have... left... you... Edward... I'm... so... sorry."

"Hey, hey, come on, baby, don't cry. Please don't cry," I whispered tenderly as I stroked her hair and held her tightly against me. "It's okay, Bella, it doesn't matter anymore, stop crying, sweetheart, please." Her sobs began to slow as I continued to mutter reassurances into her hair, placing tender kisses on the top of her head.

"B-but I hurt you, Edward," she whimpered lifting her face up to look at me. "I made you think I don't care... when I do and I'm so sorry for that."

"I know, baby, I know you are," I said softly, bringing my hands up to cup her face gently. I brushed her hair back from her face and caressed her cheeks with my thumbs, gently wiping away her tears before placing a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead and smiling down at her.

"Aren't you angry with me?" she murmured.

"No, not anymore. I know you're sorry for leaving and I'm so fucking glad you're okay. I just want you to talk to me, Bella, tell me what's wrong. I need to know what made you leave like that. What made you so upset that you didn't even want to speak to me?" I asked gently, my eyes locked with hers. She stared back at me, her hands coming up to grasp my wrists as she removed my hands from her face.

"I'll try," she whispered taking my hands in hers and giving them a squeeze. "Just give me a minute to freshen up and then I'll try to explain, okay?"

"Alright," I replied, smiling and nodding slightly. "You go wash those tear stains away and I'll fix us a drink. You must be thirsty from all that crying. Is coffee okay?"

"Yeah, coffee sounds good," she answered with a small smile before turning and walking to the bathroom.

I'd made the coffee and was sitting on the sofa by the time Bella returned from the bathroom. She'd showered and changed into jeans and a tank top, her wet hair pulled up in a tight pony tail. I handed her a mug of coffee as she sat gingerly on the edge of the sofa, her body angled slightly toward me. "Thanks," she mumbled, eyeing me nervously. Her eyes were still a little red and slightly puffy, but the sadness that had filled them earlier had been replaced with a faint glimmer of hope. I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. Bella bit her lip and looked down at her cup, drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly, before bringing her eyes back up to mine. "Okay, I'll try to explain but you're not going to like what you hear. Just please don't hate me."

"Bella, I could never hate you," I said firmly, sitting forward and taking one of her hands in mine. "Take your time; I'll listen and I won't judge you, I swear. I can see this is hard for you." She nodded and gave me a weak smile, gripping my hand tightly.

"I panicked, Edward. I let my stupid fears and insecurities get the better of me and I freaked out. I thought that after last night you wouldn't want me anymore, that because we'd had sex you'd move on to your next conquest."

"Jesus, Bella. What made you think that I wouldn't want you? I know I've been a jerk in the past but I told you I liked you, Bella. I told you it wasn't all about sex for me."

"I know you did, just let me explain. It's not just about you and your past with women, although that doesn't help matters. I've got... issues, Edward, and being with someone like you just makes them harder to ignore. But I jumped to conclusions based on your history and that was wrong of me. I should never have judged you like that, it wasn't fair to you." She paused and placed her cup on the coffee table and reached for my other hand, gripping them both tightly in hers. "I don't want you to think that I left because I don't want you or that I regret _being _with you last night. I do _like_ you, Edward, and I want to explain to you why I behaved the way I did, both last night and this morning. But it's so hard and I'm scared that once you know what I'm really like, you... you won't want anything to do with me." Her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears at these words.

"Come here," I said gently, pulling her sideways into my lap and wrapping my arms around her waist. "Listen to me, Bella. There's nothing you can tell me that will make me hate you or stop wanting you. We all have issues and all do things that we regret. I forgive you for leaving like you did and I don't blame you for thinking the worst of me. You don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to. I _would_ like to understand what made you so upset, but I'm not going to force you to open up to me about this if you aren't ready to. I like you a lot, Bella, and I'm not going to hold any of this against you, okay?" She nodded in understanding. "If you do want to tell me, then I promise I won't interrupt, or comment, until I've listened to all you have to say." She sat quietly for a few moments, deep in thought, her little fingers worrying the hem of her shirt, her teeth gnawing away at her lip and her eyes fixed on her lap. I waited patiently until she started to speak. I sat with her in my arms, rubbing soothing circles on her back and hip with my thumbs, as she bared her soul to me.

She confessed how she felt sexually inadequate because some prick she dated back in high school had called her 'frigid.' She explained how he'd cheated on her with her best friend during a summer in Phoenix when they were visiting her mom, and that he'd told her she'd 'never be good enough for any man.' _Fucking asshole, if I ever get my hands on him he'll be fucking sorry. _She went on to tell me about the relationships she'd had since and how they'd only made her insecurities worse, how she'd never really enjoyed sex and had been going through the motions just to please her partner. She said that she wanted to put all that shit behind her, move on and just get over it already. That was why she'd thrown herself at me last night and also why she'd freaked out this morning. _She actually fucking believed that she wouldn't be able to satisfy me, that she wasn't fucking good enough. _As if that wasn't bad enough, she told me how she felt about her appearance, that she was self conscious about her body and didn't think that she was desirable. _That's just fucking bullshit, she's by far the sexiest women I've ever known._ I was so fucking pissed at the limp-dick mother-fuckers who'd made her feel this way about herself and I vowed then and there that I'd make her realize how fucking wrong they were. _If it's the last thing I do, I'll show her just how sexy and beautiful she really is._

Despite how angry I was that she'd been made to feel these things, I understood. I knew exactly how events in the past can affect you, how they could fuck with your head and influence your decisions. I knew all about self doubt and not feeling good enough. I knew how easy it was to let your fears and insecurities get the better of you and make you think the worst of other people. Hell, I'd done the same thing myself today. I didn't blame her one bit for thinking the things she had about me and how I'd react, but I was fucking determined to show her that she was wrong.

When she'd finished pouring her heart out, I brought one hand up to her face, caressing her cheek gently with my fingers and placing my thumb under her chin, I tilted her head up to look at me. "Thank you for explaining all that to me," I said softly, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "I know now why you acted the way you did and I don't blame you for any of it. I understand why you feel the way you do, but I have to tell you that you're wrong. Being with you last night was fantastic and I don't care that you did it prove something to yourself because that shit was fucking hot. You can use me to prove a point anytime you want." I winked at her and she smirked up at me, her cheeks flushing a delicious shade of red. "I want you to know that all those jerks who made you feel bad about yourself are fucking dickheads. You're a beautiful, sexy women, Isabella Swan, and any man who can't see that is just fucking blind. There's no excuse for what that fucking asshole did and said to you. He had no fucking right to make you feel inadequate; if the chemistry ain't there, then sex is going to be shit and that's just the way it is, it's no one's fault."

"I know that now," she assured me with a smile. "Last night was incredible, Edward, no one's ever made me feel that way."

"Good, I always aim to please," I joked with a smirk. Bella giggled and swatted me playfully on the chest.

"Cocky swine," she chuckled, rolling her eyes at me.

"But seriously, Bella, I don't want to hear you ever say that you're not good enough for me or anyone else. I love being with you and I really want us to continue dating and work all this shit out. If you want to, that is?"

"Of course I do, Edward," she whispered. "I love being with you, too." _Thank God. _I smiled and kissed her chastely on the lips.

"In that case, I have a suggestion to make. I can't believe that I'm going to fucking say this. But I think we should slow things down a little." Bella's jaw dropped open and her eyes widened in shock. "I want us to get to know each other more, so that the next time we have sex, it's for the right reasons. Last night was wonderful, but I want next time to be because we both want each other and nothing else. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, Bella, least of all me. Okay?"

"Okay," she answered with a smile. "We still get to make out, though, right?" She looked hopeful, practically fucking begging me with her eyes to say yes. _As if I could ever say no to that shit._

"Absolutely," I replied with a grin. "I wouldn't be able to stop myself from kissing you if I fucking tried."

"Thank God," she whispered, reaching up and lacing her fingers at the back of my neck. Pulling my face to hers, she brushed her lips softly against mine. I moved my mouth gently over hers in a sweet, slow kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist. We kissed, caressed and held each other tenderly until Bella's stomach rumbled loudly.

"Hungry, baby?" I asked, reluctantly pulling my lips from hers.

"Bloody starving! I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday afternoon."

"Do you want to order takeout? We could snuggle up here and watch TV or a movie?"

"Sounds perfect," she said with a grin, wriggling off my lap to fetch the menus. While she was gone, I sent a quick text to Alice letting her know everything was okay.

We ordered Italian and ate our dinner on the sofa. When we'd finished eating, we snuggled up under a blanket - Bella lying in my arms with her head resting on my shoulder - watching re-runs of _Friends _until it was time for me to leave_. "_It's getting late. I better get going and let you get some sleep, you can hardly keep your eyes open."

"Yeah, all that emotional stuff today has left me feeling pretty drained," she confirmed, turning over on the sofa to face me. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before continuing. "I don't want you to leave, Edward. Will you stay and just hold me?"

"Of course I will, baby," I answered. "I'd love to stay and cuddle with you." _There's no where else I'd rather be._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Your reviews are always appreciated. **

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	12. Sexy Little Thing

**Hi all, thanks for reading and for all the wonderful reviews you left us for the last chapter. We really appreciate them and reply to them all. We're trying to get this little fic of ours noticed and get more readers to join in the fun that is Sexual Healing, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, websites or places we can get our story rec'd let us know.**

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**Happy reading, see y'all at the bottom :)**

**Chapter 12: Sexy Little Thing**

**BPOV**

Letting Edward in, while I'd been reluctant to do so at first, ended up being the best thing I could've done. Between his persistence in not leaving and his reassuring words once I finally did open up to him, he'd made me feel better about myself. Not perfect, but enough that I thought that someday – in the distant future – I might actually tell him the rest of my story.

The Tuesday after my breakdown, I got a text from Edward in the afternoon. He'd reminded me of his meeting with some hotshot director who may want him to compose the score for his new movie, and I'd made him promise to let me know as soon as the meeting was over. It was a fantastic opportunity for him and I knew that he was both excited and nervous about it. I wanted to support him, especially with our now completely open and honest relationship - even if we didn't put labels on it.

_Great news. I'll pick you up tonight from the office and we can talk._

Not exactly the blow by blow I'd been hoping for after such an important meeting, but at least there was the promise of more information before the day was over.

Fortunately, my job required an immense amount of focus, otherwise the afternoon would have dragged on, I was sure of that. I couldn't let myself be too concerned with Edward's text, though. I had a responsibility to my patients, and that was something I took very seriously. They needed me, and I had an obligation to myself, too; I'd promised myself after Angela had moved out of our apartment that I'd do everything in my power to save as many young women from the same fate as I could. It was that vow that propelled me to keep doing my job every day, especially on days when I had something to look forward to after work. If I had a normal, boring job, I knew I'd be pulling my hair out waiting for the day to end.

I finished with my last patient of the day at five-thirty, and as promised, Edward was waiting for me in the parking lot of the practice in his Vanquish. I smiled and climbed into the passenger seat. "Must be really good news if you're driving the fancy car," I said, leaning over the center console and pecking him on the mouth.

"It is; we're going out to celebrate." I quirked an eyebrow in question, but he didn't offer any additional details. He just smirked at me and told me to buckle my seatbelt.

Ten minutes later, he still hadn't offered me even a clue as to what was going on. He pulled up in front of one of the ritziest restaurants in the city, and I couldn't keep my shock in. "Edward, what are we doing here? I'm not dressed for this place." My work clothes were nice, but they weren't five-star-restaurant nice.

"You look perfect," he told me, getting out of the car. He came around and opened my door for me, then grabbed my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine as he guided me to the door of the restaurant. I still felt underdressed, but since I didn't really have much choice in the matter tonight, I sucked it up and just decided to make the best of the situation. I didn't want to continue to complain and spoil Edward's big news.

Edward gave his name to the girl behind the podium in the foyer, and after a cursory glance at her notepad, she quickly grabbed two menus. "Right this way, sir." She led us to a small table near the window, overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

"Thank you," Edward told her, pulling out my chair. I sat down, and he gently pushed my chair closer to the table.

"So, you said you have great news?" I questioned once he had taken his seat across from me.

"I do," he replied. "What would you like to eat?" He gestured with his eyes down to the menu that was still unopened on the table in front of me.

I was starting to get a little annoyed with his secrecy; I really wanted to know what his news was, so in the hopes of getting him to open up sooner rather than later, I quickly unfolded the menu and picked the first thing I saw listed there. He nodded, looking completely nonplussed at my frustration. When the waiter finally arrived to take our orders, Edward ordered my selection for me as well as his choice and a bottle of wine. After the waiter left, Edward smirked at me. "I suppose you want to know why I brought you here tonight?"

"You think?" I asked, not even bothering to try to hide my exasperation. "Yes, I want to know what's going on. What news do you have that requires a celebration dinner at a restaurant that costs as much as most people make in a week?"

"I got the gig," he said, smiling hugely.

I blinked at him, having heard his words, but unable to process them fully. "You… you got the job? That's fantastic! Congratulations, Edward!"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven't got it yet, but he wants to meet with me again. He said he's really impressed with what he's heard so far. He gave me a few pages of the script and told me to come up with a piece of music for one particular scene. If he likes what I do with the scene, then I'll get to compose the entire score."

"Wow. That is absolutely… amazing, Edward. I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. This is fantastic."

"Thanks."

The waiter arrived again, clutching the bottle of wine that Edward had ordered. He filled our glasses before leaving the bottle sitting on the table between us and left with the promise that our order was almost ready.

"So, like all good things, there's a catch," Edward said as soon as our waiter was gone. "The director was only in Seattle this week for location scouting or something so my next meeting will be in LA."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I've got two weeks – well, about nine or ten days, actually – to get the piece ready and then I have to go down there to play it for him and the producers live."

"Wow. So you'll be gone for… how long?"

He looked down at the table, and I wondered why he'd dropped his gaze. "Listen, Bella, I know I told you that I thought we should slow things down, but I'd really like it if you came with me." He cleared his throat nervously, lifting his eyes again to gauge my reaction.

"To LA?" I asked, swallowing hard. I knew the answer already, but I needed an extra minute to process this.

"Yeah. My audition is a week from Friday. I'll be leaving the Thursday before, but if you come, I'll schedule a late flight so you don't have to miss an extra day of work. We could make a weekend of it; it would be nice to get away for a few days. It would just be that Friday and the Monday after. What do you say?"

Honestly, the thought terrified me. I still sometimes struggled being alone with him for an evening. How would I manage an entire extended weekend? He was begging me with his eyes, and I just couldn't turn that face down. Besides, a weekend away would do me good; I hadn't taken a holiday in over a year, and I'd always wanted to go to LA. "I'll have to check with Victoria first; if I can get the time off, then yeah, I'll go with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'd love to."

-x-

The next nine days passed in a blur. Edward spent his days at his piano, poring over the three pages of movie script he'd been given, composing pages and pages of music to go with the scene. I spent my days at work, but my evenings were spent at Edward's place. It didn't even bother me that he spent most of the evening at his piano, too. I just wanted to be in his company. He kept me grounded, his mere presence a reminder that Jake was wrong. Someone _did _want me.

I cooked dinner in his lavish kitchen, and made him take meal breaks in the evenings. After about the third day, when he'd told me that he would often forget to eat during the daytime because he was so engrossed in his work, I was especially insistent on this point. After dinner was the time we really spent together, usually wrapped up in each other's arms making out like teenagers. He'd promised me that 'he wouldn't be able to stop kissing me' even if he tried, and he'd made good on that vow. I'd been a little greedy and continued our make-out sessions longer than I probably should have, knowing that he was on a strict deadline for this music he was writing, but I loved the way he made me feel – so desired, much more than anyone ever had before. Every night, my guilt eventually took over, and I ultimately ended up pushing him away so that he could get back to work. I knew how much he wanted to land this gig, and the mere thought that I was keeping him from preparing fully for it was enough to worry me into pushing him away.

I slept in his bed almost every night during those nine days, always falling asleep to the melodic sounds coming from Edward's piano and waking to him holding me each morning. I didn't know how late he stayed up, but I knew it had to be late, because he never even stirred when my alarm blared, waking me for work. After the last time, though, I was meticulous to leave him a note every morning, even though he knew that I was working. It was never much, just enough to remind both of us that I cared.

I'd gotten approval for the time off, despite the fairly short notice, and made sure to let my Friday and Monday patients know that I'd be gone for a week; fortunately they were all very understanding about the situation. It would be the first time I'd miss appointments with most of them and Victoria had offered to meet with any of them that wanted to see her rather than miss an appointment, but none of them took me up on that offer.

Because I'd spent most of my nights at Edward's place, anyway, it wasn't such a stretch when he specifically asked me to stay over on Wednesday, the night before we left. "I want to play you my composition," he'd reasoned. "Plus then I can take you to work on Thursday and pick you up, that way we can go straight to the airport. You can leave your car here instead of in long-term parking."

"You don't have to justify it to me; of course I'll stay with you on Wednesday night. That's my late night at work, though, remember. I've got my support group to run that night." He expressed that he didn't care how late I was, just so long as I came.

I spent my lunch break that day rushing around my apartment, packing for the extended weekend and cursing myself for not having done the job sooner. Somehow, I managed to fill my suitcase with clothes and toiletries in the allotted time and was just rushing out the door when my cell phone rang. I sighed and considered ignoring it, letting it go to voicemail, but then decided it might be important. _It could be Victoria. Or Edward._ I stood at the door and dropped my suitcase before digging through my purse for my phone. I pulled it out just in time to see Alice's name on the screen, only to have it disappear in favor of the _one missed call _notification. I didn't have anything against Alice, but in my current hurry, she was far from an emergency. I shoved my phone into my jacket pocket for easy access should it ring again, and grabbed my luggage, hurrying out the door.

As I was jogging down the stairs, my phone rang again. I made a quick decision to avoid it until I was at least on solid ground again, but as soon as I stepped off the bottom stair, I pulled it quickly from my pocket and hit the 'talk' key without checking the caller ID first; I didn't want to miss another call. "Hello?" I said breathlessly.

"Bella! Good, I got you this time. Listen, Edward told me that you guys are going away for the weekend, to LA, right?" Alice's never ending energy was even obvious through the phone.

I frowned slightly and cursed silently. It wasn't that I didn't like Alice, but she still overwhelmed me, even after all the hours we'd spent together. Plus, I really was in a hurry today. "Yeah, that's right, Alice."

"Do you have everything you need for the trip? I mean, _everything?_" Her emphasis on the last word made me blush, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

"Er, yeah, I do, Alice. Thanks."

I heard her sigh as I climbed into my car and turned the key in the ignition. I put the phone on speaker and set it in the passenger seat as I shifted into gear and backed out of my spot. "Everything?" she asked again.

I wasn't exactly sure what point she was trying to make, and I couldn't hide my exasperation with her. "What the hell are you talking about Alice? I have clothes for five days, some shampoo and conditioner, my tooth- and hairbrushes, all the normal stuff. I'm pretty sure I'm set, thanks."

She returned my irritation right back to me. "Lingerie, Bella! Jeez, it's like you really don't get it sometimes."

She caught me off guard with that, though. Edward and I had mutually agreed that we wouldn't _be _together again until we were both at a place where we wanted it for the right reasons. There was no denying my attraction to him – my cheerleaders stirred at the mere thought – but I wasn't sure I was confident enough to wear lingerie for him yet. I'd been sleeping in my standard boy shorts and camisole when I was at his place; lingerie wasn't even on my radar yet. It wasn't that I wasn't comfortable with Edward because I was; he'd given me no reason to doubt that he wanted me and had been sweet and attentive. He called me every day at one o'clock on the nose, right when I took my lunch break. I smiled every time I thought about the fact that he could remember to call me daily, but couldn't manage to fix himself lunch. He'd even offered me one of the drawers in his dresser to keep my clothes in. Even though Edward was helping me gain some confidence, I just couldn't see myself parading around in sexy underwear. "Alice, we're not at the lingerie stage yet," I said timidly, all traces of my previous frustration gone and replaced with trepidation. I couldn't help but wonder if Edward had maybe put her up to this. Maybe he was trying to hint that he was eager for us to have sex again but was being a gentleman and not pressuring me. _Did he expect me to wear these things in LA? Was this whole trip an excuse for us to have sex again?_ I immediately pushed that thought away; I couldn't believe that he'd actually do that. It may have only been two and a half weeks, but I could definitely see a change in him from the arrogant prick who'd been parading around my office the six weeks before that.

"What do you mean 'you're not at the lingerie stage yet'?" she asked.

I pulled my car into the parking lot that the practice shared with the law firm next door, and realized that the last thing I remembered was pulling out of my parking space at home; I couldn't recall anything of the drive between my apartment and here. "Listen, Alice, I meant exactly what I said." I groaned a little, not believing that I was having this conversation with _Edward's sister _of all people. I might be able to manage to talk to Lee and Em about it, but Alice? But then I decided that honesty was probably the best way to get her off the phone. _Well, the best way without being rude, anyway._ "We're not sleeping together." I said the words so fast they all kind of ran together. I hoped she understood me, because I wasn't really interested in repeating myself. I picked my phone up off the seat and pushed the button that would take Alice off of speaker, propped the phone to my ear with my shoulder, climbed out of the car and walked toward the building.

"It doesn't matter what stage you're at in your relationship. A girl doesn't need to be at a specific _stage _to feel beautiful, Bella. But just out of curiosity's sake, do you have any plans to take things to the next level?"

"I am not going to discuss my sex life - or lack thereof - with you, Alice. No offense, but I just don't know you that well, and I'm not comfortable talking with you about this; you're Edward's sister for God's sake!"

I could almost hear her frown as I pulled open the glass door and entered the office. "That's fair, I guess. Would you let me hook you up with something, anyway? A woman should always have pretty things to wear."

There really was no getting away from this woman. "Fine," I said, just to appease her and hopefully get her off the phone.

"Yay! Thank you, Bella!"

"Okay, Alice. So, we're leaving tomorrow night; when do you want to do this?"

"Can you come by my studio tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm staying with Edward tonight anyway, so that'll be fine." I quickly explained to her that I was working late tonight and gave her my schedule.

"That's fine, Bella. Perfect. I'll be here with several options for you to choose from."

"Okay. I'm at work, so I gotta go, Alice. I'll see you tonight." I pushed the 'end' button before she could respond. I felt like a jerk for doing that, but I was afraid I'd never get her off the phone otherwise.

The afternoon and evening passed by relatively uneventfully, and as soon as group was over that night, I drove quickly to Edward's place. Edward had told me that I didn't need to knock, at least not on the outside door, before entering, unless it was locked. In addition to not being at the lingerie stage yet, we weren't at the exchanging-keys-to-each-other's-apartments phase, either, so if the door was locked, I had to be let in. I tried the external door, and it was unlocked tonight, so I pushed it the rest of the way open and walked into the old factory. I remembered my promise to Alice, so went to her studio first. I could hear Edward's piano music drifting down, and I really just wanted to go up and see him, but a promise was a promise, so I made my way to Alice.

She hadn't been kidding when she'd said _several options. _There were dozens of tiny negligees hanging up all over the place, and my face heated at the thought of wearing any of them. In the end, I asked Alice's advice and took the three she gave her highest commendation. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be wearing them, but they _were _pretty, and it seemed to mean a lot to her, so I put them in the suitcase with the rest of the clothes that I knew I'd be wearing. With a quick 'thank you,' I peeked at my watch – it had only taken half an hour with Alice – and headed up the wide, metal staircase, dragging my luggage behind me. It made a huge, echoing bang with every stair, and before I was even halfway up, the music halted, the door to Edward's place flew open, and he emerged. When he saw me, his face lit up in a huge grin. "You're here!"

He hurried down the stairs to me and pulled me close to him, taking my luggage from me. He leaned down and pressed his mouth firmly over mine, and I eagerly kissed him back. Before either of us had a chance to get overexcited by the kiss, he pulled away and took my hand, practically pulling me up the stairs behind him. "Come hear my piece, I've just perfected it about twenty minutes ago." He dropped my suitcase just inside the door and led me across the room to his piano. He sat on the short, black bench and patted the place next to him in invitation for me. "Now, before I play this for you, I want you to read the script. I'm not sure if that's technically allowed, but it's not like I've shown it to thousands of people or anything. Anyway, read that, then I'll play for you. You tell me if the music fits the mood of what's there."

I did as he instructed, reading the scene and letting him know when I'd finished. When I had, his fingers started to drift elegantly over the keys, a beautiful melody erupting from the instrument. Some of what I heard was familiar; he'd been playing a lot of these lines over the past week and a half, but some of it was new. I closed my eyes and replayed the scene that I'd just read in my mind while I listened to the music. It really was a perfect fit. I couldn't imagine him not getting the job based on this piece. Even though I hadn't seen the scene acted out like it was intended to be, Edward's composition really brought it to life in my mind.

When the final chord had faded away, I reopened my eyes and was met with Edward's excited expression. "What do you think?"

"It's perfect," I told him. "You really captured the feel of the scene. If I was the music director, I'd hire you."

"Let's hope they agree with you."

-x-

Thursday night when we landed in California, our first stop after baggage claim was the car rental counter. I offered to put the car in my name, because I was older, but Edward was adamantly against that. He claimed he'd rather pay more for the car than have me driving him around all weekend long. I thought it was silly, but there was no persuading him, so I just rolled my eyes at him and let him have his way.

Since we'd left after work it was pretty late when we arrived, even though the flight was less than three hours. Edward had told me that we'd be staying at Garrett's house in Malibu for the weekend rather than at a hotel. I thought back for a moment to place the name, and obviously my thoughts were clear on my face. "Garrett's my director buddy, remember? With the apartment at the Escala?"

"Oh, yeah. Forgive me for having repressed that particular memory," I laughed, thinking back to our first 'date.' Things between us had changed so much since then that I didn't really consider that night a date anymore. The day after seemed more like the real start of… whatever was going on between us than the date Edward had planned.

Edward chuckled along with me, shaking his head slightly, as he drove the too-expensive rental car from the airport to the coast. I had to admit, though, he did have good taste in cars. If I had chosen the rental, we would've ended up in a Taurus or something, but not when Edward chose. I wasn't even entirely sure what this car was, but it was no mid-size sedan. When I commented on it, he dismissed it as 'not being as nice as the Vanquish.' There was no arguing with that, but it was still nicer than anything I'd ever driven, and I had a pretty decent car. I still couldn't help wondering if he might let me drive this car before we went back home, though. I made a mental note to bring it up later, when it wasn't so late at night.

The hour long drive seemed to take only a fraction of that time; conversation with Edward flowed so naturally, the time passed quickly. He pulled into the driveway of a fancy beach house, and led me to the door, which he unlocked and opened, allowing me to go in first. "Make yourself at home," he told me. "I'll be back in two seconds with the suitcases."

I looked around the house, and it reminded me a lot of the suite at the Escala that we'd dined in before. It was obvious that these two places had the same owner – or at least the same interior decorator. Before I could get any further than the living room, just past the foyer, Edward was back with the bags, as promised. "Come on, I'll show you around," he told me. He walked me through the house, pointing out the kitchen, bathroom – well, guest bathroom, he called it – several bedrooms, a home gym, and finally, the master bedroom complete with its own bathroom. "I'm assuming you don't mind sleeping with –" I shot a nervous look up at him, and he cut himself off. "Jeez, Bella, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, and I had to assure him that I was okay.

"It's okay, I know what you meant. Of course I don't mind sharing your bed," I told him, selecting my words carefully.

With one potential disaster averted, I took my suitcase from him and excused myself to the bathroom off of the master bedroom. It was incredibly roomy, with a huge shower complete with dual heads – one at either end, obviously designed for two people to share – and his and hers sinks set in the counter. I found myself wondering if this Garrett guy was married or just a player, but then decided it didn't really matter. What mattered was that I was here with Edward, and _he _was the one who made me feel worthwhile. He was the only person, besides my parents and my girlfriends, who didn't make me feel dispensable. Even at work, there was that feeling; lots of people had degrees in psychology, so I wasn't anything special. I blinked, bringing myself back to the present. I wasn't at work, and I wasn't with some old boyfriend who thought I was there only for his pleasure. I was here, in southern California, with Edward, and he made me feel good about myself. With my newfound resolve, I laid my suitcase on the bathroom counter between the two sinks, unzipped it, and flipped the top open.

I was greeted with Alice's lingerie. I gasped slightly, having forgotten that they had been tucked right on top last night. I'd fully intended to just move them aside, in favor of my normal pajamas, but when I touched the silky fabric, I had second thoughts. _Was it this nice feeling last night? _I couldn't remember. I let the material slide through my fingers, and I wondered what it would feel like against my breasts and stomach. _I can just put it on in here and change into something reasonable before I go out there, _I reasoned. I quickly stripped out of my work clothes, breathing a sigh of relief when the stiff fabrics were shed.

I fingered the lavender silk again, and almost changed my mind about putting it on. But then Alice's voice rang in my head again. _A girl doesn't have to be at a specific stage to feel beautiful; she should always have pretty things to wear. _I couldn't argue with that. And this nightie was pretty; there was no doubt about that. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, first stepping into the lace panties, then pulling the matching top over my head. It felt even nicer over the sensitive skin of my torso than it had in my hands. I pinched my eyes shut again, then slowly opened first one eye and then the other. My gaze immediately fell up on the full-length mirror to my left and I gasped at what I saw there.

The purple fabric clung to my breasts and then flowed loosely down to my thighs. It wasn't what I normally thought of when I considered lingerie. I didn't feel nearly as exposed as I thought I would. If I was being honest, I was more covered wearing this than I had been in my shorts and camisole all week long.

That thought caught me a little off guard. I'd never considered that something like this might cover more skin than the clothes I wore everyday - well, every night - without thinking twice. I debated going ahead and wearing this to bed, just to see Edward's reaction, but in the end, I chickened out. Despite the amount of skin covered - or revealed - lingerie said something that a mismatched pair of shorts and top didn't, and I just wasn't quite ready to make that particular statement tonight. So, I quickly peeled the pretty nightie off and replaced it with my cotton shorts and top. I carefully folded the purple garments that I'd just taken off, along with the rest of the things Alice had given me, and placed them underneath the rest of my clothes in the suitcase; I zipped it shut and returned to the bedroom where Edward was.

I was a little surprised to see that he'd changed, too. He was sitting on the bed, wearing a pair of plain black pajama pants and no shirt. I couldn't keep my gaze off his bare chest and muscular abs; my eyes drifted downward to the 'v' at his hips and my cheerleaders started whining at me when they noticed where I was looking. "Why are we waiting?" they began to chant, arms crossed firmly across their chests, tapping their feet impatiently. _They just don't get it._

I lifted my gaze back to Edward's face and he smiled at me. A nice smile, not the smirk I would've expected after having been caught blatantly ogling his body. "Come to bed, baby," he said, patting the spot next to him. My cheerleaders pushed me forward; I was moving of their accord, not mine. But honestly, I wasn't putting up that much resistance. Edward pulled the covers down as I approached, lifting his bottom and sliding between the sheets himself. I climbed into the bed and slid all the way down until I was lying next to Edward; he followed suit, pulling me close to him. It had been a long day between work and travel – even if there was no jet lag to this trip – and I was suddenly exhausted. I let my eyes slide shut as he held me and was nearly asleep when Edward spoke again. "Bella?"

"Hm?"

"I know you're tired, baby, but can I talk to you about the schedule for tomorrow?"

I pried my eyes open, and gazed up at him. "Yeah," I yawned.

"I'm sorry, I know you need to sleep. This won't take long, though, I promise."

"Mm-kay."

"My meeting's at ten in the morning, and I'm not entirely sure how long it's gonna take. I've booked you into a day spa for a couple of hours while I'm gone, that way you won't be stuck here bored. I hope that's okay?"

"Sure," I mumbled, barely hearing his words.

"Sleep, baby. We can go over this again in the morning."

I kissed his chest – or at least I meant to, whether I did or not, I'm not sure – and my eyes slipped closed.

I was awoken the following morning when I felt the warm California sun bathing my face through the light curtains. I didn't have any trouble remembering where I was, so there was no early morning freak-out, only the comfort of waking in Edward's arms. I'd become accustomed to waking there the past several days, and I dreaded the thought of going back to my own apartment. I'd slept there probably less than a third of the nights since our big talk, and every time I spent the night on my own instead of wrapped safely in Edward's arms, I had the same nightmare that I'd had the first time I spent the night at his place. It was frightening, the replay of what James had done – even though I never saw first hand his actions – but Edward made me feel safe and secure. I wasn't entirely sure what it was about the first night in Edward's apartment that had triggered the nightmare, but I was glad that being with him seemed to keep the dream at bay. I was afraid to tell him that I'd continued having the nightmare whenever I wasn't spending the night with him, because I didn't really want to talk about it. That was why I'd downplayed it as 'no big deal,' even though it _was _a big deal. Besides, I didn't want him to feel pressured into letting me crash at his place every single night. That wasn't fair to him, even though he didn't seem to mind.

None of that mattered today, though. Today, I woke up feeling refreshed after a good night's sleep, and I snuggled closer into Edward's body while he still slept. I cuddled with him, resting my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat and slow, steady breaths for a little while longer until the alarm announced that it was time to get up. I would've turned it off and spent all day in bed with Edward, but I knew he had his meeting today, and that was, after all, the reason we'd made the trip. It was only seven-thirty and Edward didn't even stir at the sound of the alarm. I suspected that he was hardly ever up this early, although I had no real basis for that assumption. When the alarm blared again at seven-thirty-seven, I knew I had to wake him. He'd want to shower and shave before his meeting, possibly even find a piano and go over the music one more time as well.

I pushed myself up on my elbow, gazing down at Edward; it really was a tragedy to have to wake him, he looked so peaceful. I knew I couldn't just let him sleep, though. I slowly drifted my hand over his chest, lingering on the smattering of hair there, before stopping at his belly button. He hardly stirred, so I brought my hand back up toward his face and traced the contours of his jaw with one finger. He shifted slightly beneath my touch as he began to stir. I cupped his face with my hand and leaned in, placing what I'd intended to be a short kiss on his mouth. My plans were thwarted, however, when he grabbed me around my waist and pulled me up onto him. I gasped slightly, but when he started kissing me in earnest, I melted into his chest and just enjoyed the moment. He poked his tongue out, begging for entrance into my mouth, and I immediately complied. My cheerleaders were awake, jumping and cheering, doing all those fancy jumps that only cheerleaders can do, and I didn't have the time to stop them right now. I was busy with Edward. He shifted his hips, and I felt his morning wood seeking friction against my body. My cheerleaders were now chanting, "Grind, grind, grind!" and it took every ounce of self-control in my body to shut them down.

"We need to get ready to go," I muttered against Edward's lips.

"No!" the cheerleaders protested loudly. "What are you doing?" The head cheerleader was glaring at me as the others threw down their pom-poms on the ground and stomped over to the bleachers, recognizing a lost cause when they saw one. I glared right back at their leader until she, too, rolled her eyes at me and joined the rest of the squad.

"Mm, I don't wanna go," Edward murmured, completely oblivious to the internal battle I'd just had. "I want to stay here with you in this bed all day long."

"You have your meeting with the director, though. And you can't be late; I don't think he'd put up with your tardiness like I did."

"Shit!" he shouted. "I totally forgot about the meeting today!" He pushed me off of him and climbed out of the bed. I regarded him with a smirk as he bustled around the room, apparently unaware of what he'd just done to me. After about half a minute, he stopped suddenly, looked at me, and laughed. "Jeez, Bella, I'm sorry. You know it wasn't personal, right? I'd never actually push you away."

"I know. You're just nervous about your meeting today."

"Not nervous, really, but I do want to make a good impression. And you're right, I can't be late; we need to leave by 8:30 so I have time to drop you off first, and it's already…" he trailed off, looking at the same clock I'd looked at earlier. "Shit, it's almost eight o'clock already. Okay, I'm gonna take a quick shower; I'll be out in like, two minutes, then there are couple more things around the house I want to show you before we leave."

"Edward, the extended tour can wait; take an adequate shower and practice your piece one more time."

"No, I don't need to practice. I've been playing it all week, I'm confident that playing it won't be a problem. And I know that the 'extended tour' isn't urgent, but I still want to show you some of the features of the house that we didn't get to see last night."

"Okay, if you insist."

"I do."

"Fine."

Edward walked over to me and placed a quick, chaste kiss on my lips before turning quickly and striding toward the bathroom. I hurried to the other bathroom, showered, dried and dressed as quickly as I could, then met Edward back in the master bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for me. When I emerged, he stood and said, "Ready?"

"Yeah."

He walked me back to the living room, which I could see in the daylight was even grander than I'd thought the night before. Gripping my hand, he pulled me through the living room to a set of French doors leading to the backyard. He gestured through the large windows of the doors, and I gasped slightly when I saw what he was obviously referring to. There was a huge Jacuzzi sitting on the back patio, covered to keep debris out.

"Is that… I mean, can we… use that?" I stuttered.

"Yep." He leaned down and whispered directly into my ear. "I'm looking forward to spending some time with you in there this weekend." I flushed, and Edward kissed my neck before standing up straight again. "We need to go, we're already five minutes late."

Edward dropped me off at the spa with his credit card, just in case I needed it, and left me with a kiss and a reminder to text him as soon as I was done and that we'd do lunch. I kissed him back, wished him 'good luck,' and promised that I would text in a few hours.

I expected the spa to be awkward and uncomfortable, as I'd never been to anything like this before, but it really wasn't. The staff did a phenomenal job of making sure I was taken care of, and I was so relaxed that I never had much opportunity to feel weird. Within just a couple of hours, I'd been massaged, exfoliated, manicured and pedicured, and I'd never felt so beautiful in my life.

-x-

I couldn't read the look on Edward's face when he picked me up from the spa; the closest description I could come up with was 'stoic.' If he hadn't gotten the job, I wanted to be supportive, and if he had, then I wanted to help him celebrate. Either way, I needed him to know that I was there for him. While he drove to a little cafe for lunch, he volunteered the information that they hadn't given him an answer right away, just said that they'd be calling him within the next few days. We spent the rest of the afternoon together, driving over to Laguna Beach to visit some of the artsy-type shops and by the time we'd finished dinner, I could easily admit to having had one of the best days I'd had in a long time.

The spa - and my afternoon with Edward - had raised my confidence enough that I wanted to see the lingerie on myself again. Call it morbid curiosity, or maybe just insanity, but I wanted to see myself in that full length mirror again. So I took my entire suitcase into the bathroom that night rather than just my pajamas. Edward looked at me funny, but I gave him a lame excuse and he just chuckled and shrugged. With the door closed and locked, I opened my suitcase and pushed my clothes aside, looking for the things from Alice. I was only planning on putting on the purple one again, but another one caught my eye. It was similar to the lavender one, but wasn't sheer. It also reminded me a lot of my regular camisole, so it wouldn't be too uncomfortable – I hoped. I slipped the black top over my bare chest, then pulled the matching panties on. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face the mirror.

I examined myself for a few minutes, looking more at the clothing than at my body. I liked the black; I felt like I was wearing lingerie, but was somewhat hidden at the same time. The pink spaghetti straps over my shoulders and the writing just underneath the bra cups added a splash of color. I wasn't sure that 'sexy little thing' was really my style, but besides that, I wouldn't change anything. The black panties had the same words on their waistband. I considered changing back to my boy shorts, but I didn't want to this time. I felt good about myself, and more confident than I had in years. I was ready for Edward to see me like this.

I was sure in my decision, but that didn't stop my hands from shaking as I zipped my luggage shut and reached for the doorknob that led back to the bedroom. _Last chance, Bella. If you want to change, now's the time. _I didn't want to, though. For the first time in seven years, I wanted to wear lingerie for a man. Not just any man, though. Edward. I wanted to wear lingerie for Edward. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I wasn't sure whether it was nerves or excitement causing that reaction. I set my suitcase on the floor and slowly unlocked the door, took one final deep breath and pulled it wide open.

I stood in the open doorway, and there was no doubt about it now; my pounding heart was a result of nerves and insecurities. I kept my eyes trained on the floor, just standing there waiting for a reaction. I heard Edward's breath hitch and knew that he must have just seen me. I was still afraid to meet his gaze. It felt like the silence lasted ten years, but I knew it could only have been a few seconds before Edward's voice broke through the silence. "You look stunning. God, Bella, you're fucking gorgeous."

I felt a blush creep over my entire body at his words, and they renewed the confidence I'd had when I was alone in the bathroom. I lifted my gaze from the floor and met Edward's eyes, and knew instantly that I'd made the right decision. I could see lust there, but even more than that was complete adoration. I knew that despite what I was wearing, he wouldn't go back on his word. As if he could read my mind, he groaned and climbed off the bed. He walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek, obviously being very careful to not brush against me with anything but his lips and muttered, "I'll be out in a few minutes. I just need a shower."

If I hadn't been feeling so good, so confident, I might have let him continue past me to the bathroom. But not tonight. Tonight, I was _ready_. Really ready, to be physical with Edward again. As he tried to push past me, I stopped him by placing my hands on his shoulders. "You've been taking a lot of showers recently."

"Yeah, well…" he trailed off, looking me up and down.

"I don't want you to take a shower tonight."

"Wha—" He cut himself off as his face dawned with the realization of what I was suggesting. I quirked one eyebrow at him, almost as if I was daring him to disagree with me. He just looked at me, trying to find some trace of doubt in my features. I knew he wouldn't find any, because I was sure this time. I'd been sure last time, too, but this time I was sure for different reasons. This time I wanted it for me. I wanted Edward more than I had wanted anything in my entire life. I didn't have a point to prove to myself or anyone else. I just wanted to be with this sweet, sexy man who made me feel wanted for the first time in years.

I stretched up on my toes and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth, and he grabbed my hips, holding me close. I could feel him pressing against me, and knowing that it was _me _that did that to him was very empowering. Because he was ready for bed, he wasn't wearing a shirt, so I let my hands roam all over his bare chest and abs, eliciting groans from him. The vibrations that caused against my lips spurred me on further, and I dragged my fingernails down his chest to his happy trail and followed the line of hair to the top of his pajama pants, where my fingers flirted with the drawstring. I felt him smile against me when he felt the elastic of his pants being slightly stretched, and he deepened the kiss. He dropped his hands to the hem of my top and started to pull it up over my head, but I pulled back slightly and dropped my gaze to the floor, biting my lip. I looked back up at him shyly and felt a blush heat my cheeks as uncertainty coursed through my mind.

As if he'd read my mind, Edward released the hem of my nightie and flashed me that sexy crooked grin of his. "On second thought, maybe we should leave this on." He trailed a finger across the words written just beneath my breasts. "Sexy little thing is a fucking understatement. You look hot as sin."

I smiled back up at him, knowing he understood, and kissed him gently on the lips, silently thanking him for not making a big deal out of it. Edward pulled away and winked at me before reaching one hand out and flicking off the light switch by the bathroom door before pulling the door closed. There was enough light streaming in from underneath the bathroom door that we could still see, but not so much that I was so self conscious. Edward led me over to the bed slowly and I stretched up kissing him again and slipping my arms up around his shoulders, one hand sliding up into his hair. I took the initiative this time and slipped my tongue into his mouth; he eagerly returned the gesture, and palmed my breasts through the black fabric. This time it was my turn to moan at the feeling, and my reaction seemed to assure him more than any words ever could. He knew as well as I did that I wasn't going to have regrets this time.

The kiss went on for an eternity, and I knew that I'd be happy if we just stood here and kissed all night long, but Edward stepped forward, pressing into me again, subtly reminding me that there were needs and desires beyond simply kissing. I knew he was happy to kiss me without taking things any further – after all, we'd been doing just that for the past two weeks – but I also knew that we both wanted this more than anything tonight. His hands dropped once more to the hem of my lingerie top, but this time instead of lifting it up, he slid his hand up under the fabric, his long fingers gently caressing my skin. His hand moved up to fondle my breast and his other hand slid down my stomach to the edge of my panties. He slipped one finger under the elastic and slowly trailed it back and forth before dipping it down further to gently stroke my wet folds.

I ran my hands down his muscular torso and hooked my thumbs into the waistband of Edward's pajamas and pushed them to the floor, gasping slightly at the sight of him. He'd foregone his boxers, and was now standing in front of me completely naked and proudly erect as he stepped lightly out of the black pants that had pooled on the floor between us. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his erection into my stomach, eliciting another groan from me. I thought back to the last time we'd had sex, two weeks ago, and the thought of having his glorious length inside me again thrilled me. Now desperate for friction, I moved against his hand grinding my sex onto his fingers. "God that feels good," I groaned against his lips.

"If you think that feels good," he started, then pushed my panties to the floor even faster than I removed his pants. His hand was instantly cupping my sex, just enough to provide the friction I so desired, but not enough to give me any real relief. In the long run, I think I was even more anxious after he did that than I had been thirty seconds before. I sat down on the bed and pulled Edward down with me, crawling up until we reached the pillows at the head of the bed. I pushed the covers out of the way and slid between the sheets with Edward following closely after me. The making out and grinding had felt good, and I realized that I'd been terribly neglectful of him. I reached between us and gripped him in my right hand, wrapping my fingers all the way around him. He hissed slightly at the contact and I started pumping him up and down, rubbing my thumb up over his head with each upstroke. "Fuck, Bella," he muttered over and over again. I continued grinding myself against his hand while I pleasured him and before long he was swearing again and grabbing my hand. "You make me feel so fucking good, baby, but I wanna cum inside of you, not all over the sheets."

Feeling very brave, I looked him in the eye and whispered seductively, "What are you waiting for then?"

"Shit," he mumbled, rolling away from me and grabbing something from the nightstand on his side of the bed. He quickly rolled back and handed me the condom packet which I quickly ripped open, then rolled the condom over him. He mumbled something incoherently as I lingered over his firmness after he was fully sheathed inside the latex.

I pumped him a few more times once the condom was on, but then remembered his warning from before. "I want to feel you inside of me," I murmured. Edward didn't need any more invitation than that. He shifted the sheets around so that he could climb on top of me without uncovering us. I spread my legs for him and he settled between them, teasing me for just a moment, sliding the head of his cock over my slick folds.

"Are you ready, baby?" he whispered.

I nodded my head slowly, seductively. He slid in gradually, and I realized that he was giving me time to adjust to his size rather than just thrusting in quickly. He didn't want to cause me pain; that thought alone almost brought tears to my eyes. No other guy had ever been so thoughtful with me. When he was completely inside me, he said, "Damn, baby, you feel so good. Just as tight as I remembered."

I lifted my head up off the pillow and captured his mouth in an urgent kiss, both to thank him for the compliment and to let him know that he felt good, too. He moved slowly at first, taking his time and I relished every thrust he made, never releasing his mouth from mine. I sucked his lower lip into my own mouth as he moved within me and felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.

I knew when Edward was getting close because his movements picked up; he was craving even more friction than what he was getting. I adored the feeling of having him inside me, but I was feeling a tad selfish at the same time. I didn't want to miss out on my release tonight, so I spoke up quietly. "Touch me, baby. Touch me like last time. I want to cum all over you."

"Fuck," he muttered, apparently unable to think of anything else to say to my request. He reached one hand between us and started rubbing my clit, and I lost all coherent thoughts. Nothing mattered anymore, it was just me and Edward, and I felt like a quivering ball of sensation.

As he continued to thrust in and out of me, rubbing my tiny mass of nerves at the same time, my stomach muscles tightened and my breathing picked up. "Oh, God, Edward," I cried out, unable to keep my voice down. "Oh my God!" The tightening that had started in my belly was now exploding out of all my limbs as my walls clenched around him.

"Shit, Bella, you feel so fucking good," he said, his voice nearly as loud as mine had been as his release claimed him, too.

He collapsed on top of me, completely exhausted, and I couldn't blame him; I felt exactly the same way. After a moment, he took a deep breath and pulled out as he rolled off of me. He pulled the used condom off and deposited it into the trash can I knew was on the floor on that side of the bed, and rolled back over to snuggle against me. "_That _was how our first time should've been," he whispered in a husky voice as he pulled me into his arms.

**Thanks for reading. **

**Link for Bella's nightie is on our profile.**

**Don't forget to check out the blog on Monday for the teaser and if you haven't checked out Edward's interview yet, you really should go take a look. We've had some fantastic comments about it and would like to thank everyone who's read and enjoyed it. We're so glad you guys found it so funny, it was really fun to write and from what some have you have said it really gives some extra insight into Edward.**

**We're not going to suggest that reviews are anywhere near as good as a weekend in a beach house with Edward, but we will tell you that reviews get you Edward in the hot tub next chapter ;), so if you want some hot wet Edward hit that review button and make us happy.**


	13. I Fucking Love LA

**Chapter 13 : I Fucking Love LA!**

**Thanks to Babs for pre-reading for us and thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed and rec'd our story. We really appreciate all your support.**

**We still don't own Twilight we just like to make the characters get their sex on ;)**

EPOV

_I fucking love LA. _The California sun beat down on us as we drove along Mulholland Drive with the top down. This famous scenic drive is considered to be one of the most relaxing getaway spots in LA according to Bella's guide book and I could clearly see why. Cutting through the Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area from Hollywood to the Ventura County line, it offers wonderful views of the valley and city on each side and the scenery was fucking stunning. You could see for miles from up here and it was so peaceful. Van Morrison was playing on my iPod and with Bella sitting beside me, her hand resting gently on my thigh and her hair blowing lightly in the breeze, life was fucking perfect.

This trip to LA was one of the best fucking ideas I'd ever had. Bella was clearly loving every minute of it and was more relaxed than I'd ever seen her. We'd spent the morning doing all the typical touristy things like visiting the new Hollywood and Highland Center, Grauman's Chinese Theatre, The Hollywood Walk of Fame and even The Hollywood Museum. After a late lunch in Griffith Park, we made a quick stop at the Griffith Observatory so Bella could get a good view of the Hollywood sign before driving out here to escape the crowded tourist areas of the city.

I'd taken tons of photographs throughout the day including a stunning shot of Bella that she was thankfully unaware I'd snapped. She'd been leaning against the car eyes closed, head tilted back enjoying the sun on her face, hair cascading down over her bare shoulders and a fantastic view of the valley spread out below her in the background. She'd looked absolutely fucking stunning and I couldn't wait to get that picture developed and show her how truly beautiful she is. It still fucking amazed me how such a naturally attractive woman as Bella could have such a low opinion of herself. Since her meltdown two weeks ago, I'd racked my brain for ways I could prove to her how much I wanted her around and while she seemed much more secure about things between us, she was still plagued with insecurities and self doubt. I fucking _hated _the look in her eyes when I paid her a compliment, a look that said "Yeah, whatever." It didn't matter how many compliments I paid her; until she could see it for herself and feel sexy and beautiful she'd always have those doubts. That's why I'd arranged her visit to the spa and talked to Alice about getting her some nice lingerie. I felt bad discussing Bella's confidence issues with my sister but knew that Alice would be able to help her better than I could. Besides, if I'd given her the lingerie myself, it would have given her completely the wrong idea; she would have immediately connected lingerie with sex and thought that was what I wanted. Sure I couldn't wait to be with her again but I didn't want her to feel pressured into it, I just wanted her to feel desirable. Bella was the sexiest woman I'd ever met and she deserved to know it and feel good about herself and her sexuality.

Last night had shown me that my actions were justified. She'd felt confident enough to wear that sexy as fuck nightie and had proved to me that she was ready to be with me again. I was so proud of her when she walked out of the bathroom; I knew what a big step that was for her and I felt honored that she trusted me enough to take that step with me. I knew her confidence in her appearance was improving and I would continue to do what I could to help her gain even more. The next part of my plan was to get her to wear a bikini this weekend. She'd looked terrified last night when I went to remove her nightie and I knew she wasn't comfortable being naked in front of me yet, so I figured that getting her comfortable in a bikini was a step in that direction. As much as I longed to see Bella in all her naked glory, I didn't want to rush her and I thought it would help if we could work up to it. But getting her to wear a bikini in the first place could prove a little difficult. I would have to be careful in how I went about this so she wouldn't feel pressured into wearing it; I wanted it to be her choice. I had an idea that might just work.

I turned off Mulholland Drive and headed back into the city, deciding that now would be as good a time as any to put my plan into motion. "How do you feel about dinner outside on the patio this evening? There's a fantastic grill out there; we could stop off on the way back and do a little shopping. I cook a mean steak."

"Sounds lovely," Bella replied turning to look at me with a big smile on her face. "I've been dying to spend some time out there since you showed it to me. The terrace is so close to the beach it would almost be like we were dining on the beach itself."

"Speaking of the beach, I thought it would be nice to spend the day at the beach house tomorrow, just relaxing and soaking up some sun and I'm dying to go for a swim. We could even take Garrett's jet skis out for a run. What do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea. But I'll need to go shopping first, for a swimsuit. I threw my old one out a while back and completely forgot about it until I was packing on Wednesday." _This is perfect._ We could stop off at a mall on our way back today and I could help her choose one. Now all I needed to do was convince her to get a bikini instead of a one piece and I had a little incentive in mind that just might do the trick.

"That's no problem; there's a small mall not far from the beach house, we can stop off there and pick up everything we need," I answered with a smile. "Maybe I can get my film developed too; I can't wait to see how those shots of the valley from up on Mulholland turn out."

"I still can't believe that you don't have a digital camera; it would be so much easier than using film. You wouldn't have to wait to see your pictures, you would be instantly gratified."

I rolled my eyes at her and chuckled. "Not this again." Bella had teased me about my 'old fashioned' camera all day. "You can keep your new fangled technology, thank you very much, me and my _antique_ camera are perfectly happy as we are. Besides, instant gratification isn't all it's cracked up to be, sometimes a little suspense adds to the experience," I said with a smirk as I lifted my sunglasses up and winked at her.

"Is that so? I'll have to keep that in mind, Mr. Cullen," she purred seductively, shamelessly flirting with me as she dragged her fingernails over my thigh.

"I suggest you do, Miss Swan." I took my hand off the steering wheel and placed my arm around her, ghosting my fingers across the bare skin of her shoulders and up and down the top of her arm causing goose bumps to spring up on her creamy, smooth flesh. "Delayed gratification can be_ extremely _rewarding." Bella tilted her head back against the seat and smiled.

"I have no doubt that it can, Mr. Cullen, no doubt at all."

We made the rest of the drive out to Malibu teasing and flirting playfully with each other, sharing intimate caresses and stolen kisses at traffic lights and intersections. The journey didn't take long and we were soon pulling into the parking lot of the small shopping mall located about two miles from the beach house. We headed into the mall and I immediately spotted a one hour photo-processing place and dropped my film in, happy that I'd be able to collect it before we left. We picked up everything we needed for dinner that night as well as enough food to last us until Monday and a few bottles of wine. I took the groceries back to the car and picked up my photographs while Bella went to a little cafe and ordered our coffees. The picture of Bella leaning on the car had turned out amazing and I removed it from the sleeve of photographs and stashed it in the glove compartment of the car. I didn't want Bella to see it at the moment as I planned on having it blown up and framed; it would look great on top of my piano. Once we'd finished our drinks we made our way into a large department store and headed for the swimwear section.

As predicted, Bella walked right past a display of bikinis and headed straight for a rack of one piece swimsuits further up the same aisle. I slowed my pace and allowed her to continue on ahead as I discreetly checked out the bikinis. A deep blue one that fastened at the back of the neck and wasn't too skimpy immediately caught my eye. Bella had a sweater in almost the exact same color that looked stunning against her creamy complexion and I could just imagine how beautiful she would look wearing this. I quickly grabbed it off the display and followed after Bella. "How about this one?" I asked holding it up by the hanger as I approached her.

Bella turned to glance at me and her mouth fell open in shock. "Erm, a bikini is not really what I... erm, it's not really my... er, my kind of thing," she stammered, blushing a vivid shade of red at the mere sight of it.

"You've got to be kidding me, babe. You'd look fucking amazing in a bikini. Most women would kill to have a body like yours so they could wear stuff like this. And this color looks fantastic on you, it's almost exactly the same color as that sweater of yours I love so much." I held the hanger out to her and smiled encouragingly. "You could at least try it on and see what you think." Bella's gaze shifted repeatedly between the bikini and my face uncertainly.

"Er, I don't know," she replied hesitantly. I knew she didn't want to disappoint me by saying no outright but was uncomfortable at the thought of wearing it. I leaned in close and whispered seductively in her ear.

"Just imagine all that delayed gratification you'd get if you wore this tomorrow. You'd drive me fucking crazy, Bella. I doubt you'd even get as far as the beach in it before I was dragging you back to the bedroom." Bella flushed an even darker shade of red and swallowed thickly. She peered up at me through her lashes and chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

"Er, I'm not sure, but I suppose there's no harm in just trying it on," she said in a quiet voice. I grinned at her enthusiastically and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Bella took the hanger from me cautiously and walked over to the bikini display and selected one in her size. Not wanting her to feel pressured into buying it I suggested she take a one piece to try on too, so she could decide which she preferred. I helped her choose one and Bella quickly made her way to the fitting rooms to try them on. I followed after her and leaned against a nearby wall awaiting her return.

"Well, how did it look?" I asked expectantly when she came out about ten minutes later.

"Erm, it looked okay, I suppose but..." she trailed off, her gaze dropping to the floor. I could tell she was torn between wanting to wear the bikini for me and getting the one piece that she would feel much more comfortable wearing.

"Okay, I have an idea," I said quickly before she could continue. "Why don't you get the one piece and let me buy the bikini for you. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to, but if you do, I'll let you drive the car on Monday." Bella's eyes snapped up to meet mine and she looked at me warily.

"You're going to let me drive your flashy rental car?" she questioned, eyes wide in disbelief. I nodded and pulled the car keys out of my pocket and dangled them temptingly in front of her. "Wow, you must really want to see me in that bikini." I smirked and nodded, again jangling the keys right in front of her face. I knew she was dying to get behind the wheel of the Lexus and although I hated being a passenger, it would be worth a little discomfort on my part if she took the bait.

"You don't have to decide now, just let me buy the bikini and you can make your mind up later." She looked thoughtful for a few seconds and I knew she was considering her options.

"Alright, but I get to choose when and_ if _I wear it and you have to let me drive a_ll day,_ not just one trip somewhere. Deal?"

"Deal," I answered grinning like an idiot, mentally pumping my fist in triumph. Hell, I'd even let her drive the Vanquish when we got home if it meant I got to see her in that bikini but I wasn't about to tell her that. We picked up some sunscreen and a couple of large beach towels, before making our purchases and heading back to the car.

We arrived back at the beach house and Bella unpacked the groceries while I fired up the outdoor grill. We worked together to prepare our meal, me grilling the steaks and Bella making the salad and baking the potatoes. We ate on the terrace overlooking the beach as the sun set over the waves, casting a red and orange glow on the water. I'd never been one for romance, but even I was moved by the beauty of the evening.

After we'd eaten and I'd cleared away - while Bella sat reading on the deck, enjoying a glass of wine - I suggested a dip in the hot tub. Bella agreed enthusiastically saying it was just what her aching feet needed after all the walking we'd done that day. I readied the hot tub, changed into my swimming shorts, put on some music and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses and headed out to the terrace to wait for Bella. I settled into the tub and poured the wine then leaned back against the side and gazed up at the clear night sky. The hot tub was nestled in the corner of the terrace close to the house and the view from it was amazing. You could lie there and watch the ocean waves gently lapping at the pale white sand in the moonlight. It was a beautifully clear night and the stars were clearly visible along with the full moon. I reached for the dimmer switch for the outside lights and turned them down low, preferring the moonlight to bathe the area in its iridescent glow. I stretched my arms out along the edge of the tub and closed my eyes, listening to the music and just relaxing. I wondered what is taking Bella so long to change and hoped that she wasn't stressing over being in the tub with me. She didn't seem concerned about it earlier, but I knew that Bella was a master at hiding her fears.

The sound of footsteps interrupted my thoughts and I opened my eyes to see her standing a few feet away from the tub. She was wearing one of my black button up shirts with the sleeves rolled up, a few of the buttons undone, revealing her collarbones and a little cleavage. It hung loosely on her slender frame, stopping mid thigh and showcasing her shapely legs perfectly. Her hair was piled up high on her head exposing her long elegant neck. She looked so fucking sexy wearing my shirt that my dick instantly twitched his approval. Bella smiled at me as she came over to the tub and perched on the edge. "You looked so peaceful and relaxed when I came out that I almost didn't want to disturb you. Is it as soothing as it looks in there?" she asked quietly, running a hand along my arm and up over my shoulders.

"Why don't you come in and see for yourself? I could use some company." She gazed at me for a second before swiveling around so her legs dangled into the water.

"Don't worry, I intend to," she answered softly, picking up one of the wine glasses and taking a large sip. She leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips before undoing the buttons on my shirt and slipping it quickly off her shoulders. My eyes almost popped out of my hand as the fabric fell away to reveal the fucking blue bikini. To my utter fucking amazement Bella winked at me and smirked. "I'm sure I'm going to enjoy it just as much as I'm going to enjoy driving the Lexus." With that said, she stood up and waded through the warm, bubbly water to the other side of the tub, giving me a stunning view of her ass in those tight little bikini bottoms. _Fuck me. _I stared at her, momentarily lost for words, as she turned around and lowered herself down into the water. I thought Bella would look beautiful in that bikini but I was wrong. She looked _absolutely fucking stunning _in it and I couldn't help the shit eating grin that exploded across my face at the sight of her.

"Baby, I doubt you'll enjoy either as much as I'm enjoying the sight of you right now. You look fucking stunning, Bella." I gazed into her eyes trying to convey the sincerity of my words. I must have been successful because that look of disbelief that I usually got from her was nowhere to be fucking seen. Bella smiled back at me and nodded, a slight blush creeping across her pale skin and a look of quiet acceptance in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered shyly before leaning back in the tub and resting her arms along the edge, mirroring my position.

"My pleasure, baby," I answered, leaning forward and handing her her wine glass. She took a small sip and sighed in contentment, stretching her body out next to mine in the warm water. I placed my hand around her ankle and picked it up out of the water and began rubbing soothing circles into the ball of her foot with my thumbs. Bella groaned in pleasure and tilted her head back, resting it against the side of the tub.

"That feels so good," she moaned, sliding her body down further into the bubbles. I leaned back, pulling her foot up onto my chest and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her big toe, continuing to massage her foot. My hands slowly made their way to her ankle and up to her calf, kneading her flesh gently as they went, eliciting more groans from Bella. When I reached the back of her knee, I lifted her leg up and slid closer. Resting her foot on my shoulder, I began placing soft kisses on her ankle and calf as my hands continued their journey up her leg. My fingers caressed the supple flesh of her thighs and my lips followed the same path up her leg, my tongue darting out to taste the soft flesh at the back of her knee. My eyes locked with Bella's in a heated stare as I made my way up her leg, nipping and sucking gently at the skin of her inner thigh.

"Fuck, you taste good, baby," I murmured against her skin before running my tongue up and down the length of her thigh. Bella gasped and shuddered in response, her eyes filled with pleasure at my actions.

When I reached the top of her leg, I cupped her ass and lifted her up so she was lying stretched out on top of the water before me. I moved my attention to her other leg, giving it the same treatment. My tongue swirled across her tender flesh as my hands slid down her soft skin toward her ankle. When they reached their destination, I placed her foot on my shoulder and nibbled my way back up, my fingers following the trail of my lips. I bit into the supple flesh of her inner thigh and slid both hands up to grip her hips, my thumbs making small circles on the skin just above her bikini bottoms. I brought my body closer to hers, her legs gliding over my shoulders as I moved, until her knees were resting over them, her feet dangling down behind me.

I leaned my head down and kissed my way across her abdomen before skimming my nose across the scrap of fabric that covered her. I was dying to dive in and feast on her pussy but I paused and looked up at her, silently asking for permission. Bella swallowed and looked uncertain for a moment before pushing her hips toward me in approval. I lifted her slightly higher out of the water and pressed my lips to the fabric at the apex of her thighs. Using my teeth I moved the barrier aside and ran my tongue over her outer lips. Bella moaned loudly and shivered at my touch as she pressed her sex into my face, spurring me on.

I gripped her ass tightly with both hands, holding her still as my tongue plunged between her lips. I licked up and down her slit, tasting her juices before finding her clit and flicking it with my tongue, causing her legs to tremble and a cry of pleasure to escape her lips. My eyes never left hers as I lathed my tongue over the bud of nerves then pressed my mouth firmly against her lips, sucking greedily on her clit. Bella's thighs gripped my head tightly as I continued my ministrations, nipping, sucking and licking at every inch of her beautiful pussy. Her moans of pleasure grew louder when I moved one hand from her ass and pushed two fingers into her. I suckled on her clit and curled my fingers up deep inside of her, easily finding her G spot. Bella's legs shook and her juices trickled down my fingers as I thrust them in and out of her in a steady rhythm, massaging that spot with each pass. Bella's walls began to pulsate and she screamed my name in ecstasy as I bit down gently on the small bundle of nerves pushing her headlong over the edge into her orgasm. I pulled my fingers from her quickly and replaced them with my tongue, plunging it into her and slurping up her sweet juices as she came in my mouth. She tasted fucking amazing and I lapped up every drop as Bella rode out her orgasm.

I lifted my head and kissed my way up her body, gently pulling her into my arms as I did so. "Edward, I want you," she sighed breathlessly as I reached her lips, brushing mine softly across hers in a tender kiss. Her arms wrapped tightly around me, her little hands buried in my hair, as she deepened the kiss. She ground her pussy against my rock hard cock that was begging to be buried inside her. Our tongues mingled, teased and caressed each other, entwined in an erotic dance. I pressed my hips firmly into her, my cock desperate for some friction. Bella tore her lips from mine and begged me to take her right there in the tub. I was dying to give in to her wish but didn't have a condom down here, having left my wallet upstairs in my pants. I knew Bella was on the pill and that we were both clean, I got tested regularly and had never had sex without a condom in my life, but I didn't just want to assume that she'd be okay with us not using one.

"No condom down here," I whispered against the skin of her neck, explaining my hesitation in granting her request.

"It's okay," she replied as she kissed her way across my jaw and down my neck. "You've told me you're clean and I believe you, plus I'm on the pill. Please, Edward, I need you now." I lifted my hands up to cup her face and looked into her eyes before crashing my lips to hers. I didn't need telling twice, I was dying to be inside of her and the thought of no barrier between us increased my desire to be buried in her as soon as fucking possible.

Sensing my urgency, Bella slid a hand down between our bodies and released my cock from my shorts. She wrapped her fingers around my shaft and began pumping her hand up and down my length. We continued to kiss as she lifted her body and lined me up at her entrance. I groaned in ecstasy as she lowered herself onto me, encasing my cock in her tight warmth.

"Fuck, baby. You feel so good," I moaned, pulling her closer into my body and wrapping my arms tightly around her. Slowly, Bella began to move, sliding up and down my hardness, taking me deeper inside her with each downward movement, until I was buried balls deep in her. We kissed passionately, tongues plundering the other's mouth, hands roaming each other's bodies as Bella increased the speed of her movements. I couldn't fight the urge to thrust any longer and brought my hands to her hips to guide her movements as I pushed my hips up to meet hers.

I set a frantic pace, thrusting up into her as she rode me hard. The warm water bubbled around us, adding to the sensations of our bodies writhing together. Her walls tightened and pulsated around me as that familiar tingling sensation started in the pit of my stomach and quickly spread to my balls. "Edward, I'm so close," she gasped into my mouth, grinding her pussy against me with each thrust I made.

"Me too, baby. Cum for me sweetheart, I need to feel you cum all over my cock." I thrust into her harder and deeper than ever and felt her walls clench around me as a guttural cry burst from her mouth.

"Edward," she screamed, throwing her head back and cumming hard as I exploded inside of her.

"Ugh, Bella," I cried as the walls of her pussy milked my cock of everything I had to give. I buried my head in her cleavage and sucked on the flesh of her breast, her hands gripping my hair, as we rode our orgasms out together.

Our galloping heart rates slowly returned to normal as we held each other tightly. "God, Edward, that was incredible," Bella said once she had her breath back. I smiled and kissed her softly, tracing my fingers along her jaw.

"The best ever," I whispered against her lips before turning her around and pulling her back against my chest. I retrieved our wine glasses, handing Bella hers, and leaned back against the side of the tub.

We sat there for a while, sipping our wine and staring out toward the ocean, the glow of the moon glinting off the waves as they lapped quietly at the shore. Bella's head was laying against my chest, my chin resting a top her head and I'd never felt so relaxed and content in my entire fucking life.

-x-

The next morning I awoke early, feeling refreshed and re-energized after one of the best night's sleep I'd ever had. Bella was sleeping soundly, sprawled across my chest with one leg draped over mine and her hand resting on my shoulder. It was only a little after seven and she looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her, but I desperately needed to piss. I wrapped my arms around her and gently rolled her over, holding her tight to me, trying my hardest not to disturb her. I pulled away slowly and slid out of the bed, replacing my body with a pillow for her to cuddle up to, hoping she wouldn't notice my absence and wake up.

I used the bathroom and came back into the bedroom to find Bella clutching the pillow tightly, still fast asleep. She was so fucking beautiful lying there in a purple colored sexy nightie, the sheets draped across her hips leaving her shoulders bare, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I sat down gently on the edge of the bed and stroked my fingers lightly over her cheek. She smiled slightly in her sleep and murmured my name, nuzzling her face into my hand. My heart clenched with the thought that even asleep she could recognize my touch. A wave of emotion swept through me as I gazed at her slumbering form and I knew in that moment that I was in danger of falling for Bella Swan big time. Surprisingly, that thought didn't scare me one bit and I wondered what the Doc would think of my realization. I smiled and removed my hand from her face, turning my gaze to stare out of the window at the morning sun.

It was another glorious Californian morning and I decided to go for a run on the beach and let Bella sleep. I pulled on a pair of boxers and dressed quickly in running shorts and a wife beater before heading out of the bedroom.

I ran barefoot along the sand for about two miles, just enjoying the peace and quiet of the deserted beach. It was a private beach reserved for the use of the owners of the large beach houses that ran along the shore, but I was still a little surprised not to see anyone else out here enjoying this beautiful morning. _Bella would love it out here; it's so quiet and peaceful. _As my thoughts turned to Bella, I headed back in the direction I'd come, deciding it would be nice to cook breakfast for her and eat it out on the terrace. I sped up, eager to get back before she woke and wondered where I was.

I arrived back at the beach house, having run the two miles in record time. Bella was still fast asleep so I started a pot of coffee and quickly jumped in the shower. She was just starting to rouse when I came back into the bedroom about twenty minutes later, showered, dressed and bearing coffee. "Wake up, sleepy head," I said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently rubbing her back. Bella stretched and rolled onto her back, giving me a lazy smile as she opened her eyes. I leaned in and brushed my lips gently over hers before pulling back and smiling down at her. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Mmm, good morning to you too," she replied, beaming up at me. Her little nose twitched and she grinned widely. "Is that coffee I smell?"

"It certainly is," I answered, handing her the cup as she sat up and leaned back against the headboard. "Breakfast won't be long, so drink this up and join me outside in about fifteen minutes. I thought it would be nice to eat outside again as it's such a beautiful day."

"Yeah, that sounds lovely. We might as well make the most of the sunshine before we head back to Seattle tomorrow."

"Exactly," I stated, rising off the bed and heading for the door. "Now drink up and for god's sake put some clothes on before I change my mind about breakfast and ravage you instead." I heard Bella giggle as I left the room.

I quickly whipped up our breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs, toast and fresh fruit and carried the food out to the terrace. I was just pouring us each a glass of orange juice when she came out to join me. Instead of getting dressed like I'd requested, she was wearing nothing but one of my white T shirts and a pair of lacy blue panties, the outline of which I could clearly see through the thin fabric of my shirt. My dick was hard as rock instantly and my breath caught in my throat, rendering me fucking speechless. My eyes moved up and down her shapely form as she took her seat and crossed her long legs out in front of her smiling at me, obviously enjoying my reaction to her choice of clothing. I grinned at her growing confidence; a week ago, she would never have walked around dressed like that. "You don't mind me borrowing your shirt do you? I didn't have time to shower and didn't see the point in getting dressed properly until I had," she explained.

"Nope, you can wear my clothes anytime you like. But be warned, they might not stay on you for long." I waggled my eyebrows at her suggestively and licked my lips causing her to blush and giggle softly. "Now, eat up. Something tells me you're going to need the energy." I pushed Bella's plate toward her and handed her a glass of juice. We ate leisurely, enjoying the morning sunshine and each other's company.

After breakfast was cleared away, Bella went to shower and change while I prepared for our day on the beach. We spent the morning riding Garrett's jet skis, sharing one at first, while I taught Bella how to ride it. When she was confident enough to go it alone, we had great fun racing each other along the shoreline. We ate a light picnic lunch on the sand and spent a lazy afternoon sunbathing and swimming in the ocean. Bella wore her bikini and I marveled again at her new found confidence. She seemed completely comfortable and at ease with her appearance and I fucking loved seeing her like that.

I wanted to take Bella to a little seafood place I'd spotted for dinner. It was situated right on the beach about a mile's walk from the beach house. So after a quick shower and change of clothes we strolled along the sand to the small restaurant. The sun was beginning to set when we arrived and we chose a table outside that provided us a spectacular view of the ocean. We ate and watched the sunset over the waves, holding hands and stealing small kisses. It was the perfect end to a fantastic day.

On the walk back, my thoughts turned to my morning epiphany. What had started out as a game and a way out of therapy was quickly turning into so much more. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be in a steady relationship and wondered if Bella wanted that, too. I didn't want there to be any confusion to what was going on between us and I wanted to know if we were on the same page. I wanted Bella to be my girl and needed her to know how I felt.

We were walking at the edge of the surf, carrying our shoes and letting the waves break gently around our feet. Our hands were clasped tightly together and as we approached the beach house I stopped and pulled her gently toward me. I took Bella's sandals from her hand and tossed them with mine onto the sand before snaking my arms around her and pulling her in close. She looked up at me and smiled as I lowered my face to hers brushing her lips gently with mine. Bella's hands slid up around my shoulders and made their way into my hair as she parted her lips and flicked her tongue out slightly, deepening our kiss. My lips molded to hers as our tongues sought each other, teasing and caressing. I brought both hands up to cup her face and stroked her cheeks with my thumbs as I pulled my mouth from hers and gazed down at her smiling face. "So beautiful," I whispered before placing a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. "I wish we didn't have to leave tomorrow, this weekend has been fantastic."

"I know, I wish we could stay longer," Bella sighed. "I've loved being here with you. Thank you so much for bringing me, Edward."

"It was my pleasure, baby," I murmured, staring deep into her eyes and stroking her face gently with the back of my hand. "There's no one else in the world I would rather have been here with. I love having you in my life, Bella, more than I would ever have thought possible. This weekend, and the past couple of weeks with you, have really shown me what a relationship could be like. I didn't realize how lonely and empty my life was until you came along." I paused and took a deep breath, searching her eyes for confirmation that she felt anywhere near the same as me. Her eyes twinkled in the moonlight, filled with emotion and I knew she felt the connection that had developed between us. "I've never had a serious relationship and I don't have the first fucking clue how to make one work, but I want to try. I want to be with you, Bella. I want you to be my girl."

Bella's eyes, still locked with mine, swirled with a myriad of emotions. Disbelief, confusion and fear swam in her deep chocolate pools, mingling with hope, need and longing. She swallowed thickly and blinked a few times, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Her eyes continued to bore into mine as if they were searching my very soul, seeking affirmation of the words I'd just spoken. A small smile crept across her plump lips. "You really want me?" she whispered, her voice tinged with a tone of realization, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"More than I've ever wanted anyone," I confirmed sincerely, smiling down at her. Although she was smiling up at me and I was pretty fucking certain she wanted the same thing I did, I really needed to hear her say it. "Do you want to be with me, Bella? Do you want to be my girl?"

"Yes," she replied instantly, her eyes shining with happiness. "I'd love to be your girl."

I crashed my lips to hers and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her firmly against my body, lifting her off the ground. Her hands, which had been resting on my shoulders, quickly found their way back into my hair as she kissed me with a passion I'd never felt from her before. She thrust her tongue into my mouth, frantically seeking mine as her legs wrapped themselves firmly around my waist and she began to grind her pussy into my hardened cock. "Fuck, Bella," I gasped, tearing my mouth from hers and running my lips along her jaw to the soft flesh just below her ear. Bella buried her face in my neck, tilting her head allowing my lips better access to her throat. I licked and nipped at the tender flesh and ran my tongue down toward her collar bone.

"Edward," she murmured into my neck, both of us breathing hard. "I need you now. I want you, please."

"I know, me too, baby." I carried her away from the water's edge and dropped to my knees with her still in my arms. "I want you right here, Bella, right now," I said, as I laid her gently on the sand.

"God, yes," she moaned as I tore my shirt off my body and began to undo the buttons at the front of her sundress. Bella's hands raked up and down my chest, her nails slightly scratching my skin making my dick throb in my shorts. She bit her lip and blushed slightly as I undid the last button and pulled the flimsy fabric of her dress back to reveal her body to me. I lowered my head and began to kiss my way up her body to her mouth as her hands moved to the fly of my shorts. She made short work of the button and zipper and pushed the material down over my hips along with my boxer briefs, setting my cock free.

I hovered over her and kissed her full lips tenderly. "Bella," I groaned as I felt her hand slip between our bodies and grab hold of my shaft. She ran her warm hand up and down my cock, sliding her thumb over my head capturing the bead of pre-cum and spreading the wetness over my length.

My lips left her mouth and explored the skin of her throat, licking and nipping at her flesh as they made their way to the valley between her breasts. I pulled the lacy fabric of her bra down and ran my tongue of her pert nipple, eliciting a cry of pleasure from Bella. Taking my weight on one arm, I snaked my hand down her body and into her panties. I slipped my fingers between her wet lips, quickly finding her clit, and began rubbing it at a frenzied pace. Bella's back arched and she bucked her hips against my hand. I drew her nipple into my mouth and sucked on it for all I was worth. "Edward," Bella whimpered. "I need to feel you inside me, please." As much as I wanted to make her cum first, I couldn't deny her request; I longed to be inside her feeling her walls clench around me.

"I need to be inside you, too, baby," I murmured around her nipple. I removed my hand from Bella's pussy, pushing her panties aside as she positioned my cock at her entrance, her hand still firmly gripping the base. I brought my face up from her breast to look in her eyes as I pressed my hips forward. We both groaned in ecstasy as my head slipped inside her heated core. Bella's hands came up to grip my shoulders and her hips thrust up to meet mine as I began to pump in and out of her.

We established a steady rhythm, our bodies coming together perfectly in sync, me thrusting in and out of Bella as her hips came up to meet each of my downward strokes. Our mouths sought out every inch of available skin they could, licking, sucking and biting as we laid claim to each other under the clear, starry Californian sky. The only sounds that could be heard were our soft moans and cries of pleasure and the gentle lapping of the waves on the sand.

Our bodies glistened with sweat in the moonlight as our movements sped up, both of us desperate to find our release. My mouth once again found the hardened peak of Bella's breast and I bit down on the puckered skin as she clawed at my back and shoulders. I tilted my hips forward and pulled her legs up higher, altering the angle so I could thrust even deeper into her. Her walls began to clench and pulsate around my throbbing cock as I pounded into her as hard as I could.

My thrusts became erratic as I tried to stave off my impending orgasm. "Bella, cum with me, baby, I need to feel you." I bit down hard on her nipple and thrust powerfully into her one last time as her body arched up beneath me and she screamed her release into the moonlit sky.

Her pussy clamped down around my cock, milking me as I spurted my seed into her in hot, pulsating streams. "Fuck, Bella," I cried before collapsing on top of her totally fucking spent. I rolled us over, my dick still lodged deep inside her, twitching and throbbing from my recent release.

"Oh, my God, Edward," Bella sighed breathlessly against my lips before laying her head on my chest totally exhausted. I smiled, gazing up into the night sky, completely satisfied and the happiest I'd ever been, with my girlfriend lying in my arms.

-x-

All to soon, it was time for us to leave; we loaded up the car and I locked up the beach house. Bella was leaning against the rear of the car, an expectant smile on her face. "Hand 'em over Cullen," she said as I walked toward her.

"What?" I asked, feigning ignorance, a confused expression on my face.

"The car keys, dumb ass," she chuckled, holding her hand out to me. "I'm driving, remember?"

"I know, I haven't forgotten." I tossed the keys to her as I made my way reluctantly to the passenger side of the car. Even though we didn't need to be at the airport for another five hours, we'd decided to leave the beach house early and spend our last day visiting a few of the other places we wanted to see, such as Santa Monica and Venice Beach.

Bella squealed and ran around to the driver's side just as my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket quickly and looked at the caller display. "It's the director," I said looking over at Bella, my phone clutched tightly in my hand. I was suddenly nervous; I desperately wanted to know if I'd gotten the job, but I didn't want anything to put a dampener on our last day here.

"Answer it, Edward," Bella encouraged, hopping excitedly from foot to foot, reminding me of Alice. I chuckled and shook my head at her slightly before cautiously answering my phone. I walked away from the car and wandered around to the side of the house to take the call.

When I returned a few minutes later, Bella was waiting for me, impatiently pacing back and forth between the house and the car. "Well?" she asked as I walked over to her a blank look on my features.

"I got the fucking job!" I yelled, sweeping her into my arms and spinning her around in excitement before crashing my lips to hers in a triumphant kiss.

Everything in my world was fucking perfect. _It just doesn't get any better than this._

**A/N**

**Just to let you know, we are taking part in the "Fandom Fights Tsunami" fundraiser, which as you probably know is raising money for the American Red Cross to help out Japan after last week's earthquake/tsunami. We'll be contributing an EPOV outtake, something from his past that we think you'll enjoy. Head over to fandomfightstsunami(dot)blogspot(dot)com to find out how you can help! For a minimum donation of $5, you'll get the compilation, which promises to be amazing. There are already nearly 200 authors signed up to contribute, so the minimum donation will be well worth it.**

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	14. Back to Reality

**Hi everyone thanks for all the great reviews we got for the last chapter, we really appreciate them and love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Thanks also to cosmom for the rec on Twific Pimps, your words were fantastic, we really appreciate it, and to Twilight Sickness website for mentioning Sexual Healing in their 3rd Sickness Pimp-out!**

**Love and hugs to Babs for pre-reading this for us so quickly.**

**We still don't own Twilight or a hot tub with Edward in it (sighs) but hey a girl can dream ;)

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**Chapter 14: Back to Reality**

**BPOV**

I'd expected to have to make a decision Monday night as we left the airport; I couldn't decide whether I was more afraid of overstaying my welcome at Edward's or risking the nightmare at my place. Fortunately, it didn't come to that, at least not on Monday. As Edward was driving us away from SeaTac, he said, "So, do you want to stay at my place tonight? I know you'll need to go home eventually, but you're welcome to sleep over tonight. Your car's there, anyway. You don't have to, if you'd rather go home, but I'd really like you to."

I'd forgotten that I'd left my car at his place, but I was glad; it was the perfect excuse not to have to sleep alone again just yet. "I'd love to stay with you tonight. Thanks."

Just like every night I spent in Edward's bed, I slept like a baby.

Going back to work on Tuesday was almost surreal. I'd only been gone for four and a half days – and only missed two days of work – but after not only the time I'd spent with Edward, but the deep connection we'd made over the weekend, the idea of going back to real life felt mundane and boring. Once I actually got there, though, I got back into the swing of things almost immediately, and before I knew it, it was lunchtime and my cell phone was ringing with Edward's ringtone.

"Hey," I greeted him, exiting my office and locking the door behind me. On my way through the main office area, I whispered to Jane, "I'm off to lunch; I'll be back in an hour." I gestured to my cell phone, letting her know that she could reach me in an emergency.

"Sure thing, Dr. Swan," she replied, waving as I continued past her desk.

"How's my beautiful girl doing today?" he returned my greeting, causing me to blush despite the fact that he wasn't even there with me.

"I'm good. Nothing major going on, just a normal day." I exited the building and headed out on foot toward my favorite lunch place; it was too nice a day to drive.

"That's good, baby. So, we didn't really talk much this morning," he said, again causing me to blush as I remembered exactly _why _not much talking had happened before work, "and I wondered what the plan is for tonight?"

"Do we need a plan?" I questioned. "I mean, I guess I just figured we'd hang out. I've already agreed to be your girlfriend; you don't have to try to impress me anymore."

He laughed. "Thank God for that."

"So, I'll just come over after work, then. Unless you want to come to my place tonight."

"We can do your place, sure. We've been spending a lot of time at mine recently; I'm sure you'd probably like to get your rent's worth out of your place, eh?"

It was my turn to laugh. "I hadn't honestly thought about it." I shook my head, still giggling as I entered the café. "Hang on just a second," I told Edward, "I'm at the café, and I need to order."

"You know what, babe, I'll actually let you go. I've got an appointment this afternoon, and I want to make sure to be done by the time you finish work so I don't miss a minute of time with you."

"Are you dating another brunette therapist?" I teased.

"Never," he answered, feigning shock. I could hear the smile in his voice, though, and that made me smile in return. I wished I could see his face. "I'll see you tonight." His voice was quieter now, more serious.

"Yeah, alright," I agreed. "We're just meeting at my place, right?"

"Yep, sounds good. Six-ish?"

"Perfect. See you then."

No sooner had I placed my order at the counter than my phone was ringing again – the generic ring tone this time; a quick look at the caller ID told me that it was Leah.

"Hey, Lee," I answered.

"You never called me when you got back from LA," she accused.

"Good afternoon to you, too," I laughed.

"Hi. How come you didn't call me?"

I shook my head slightly, and rolled my eyes. "Leah, we got back late last night; seriously, all I've done is sleep and work. I've barely had time to think about anything personal; I'm not avoiding you, I promise."

I could practically hear the gears turning in her head, probably deciding whether or not I was telling the truth. I'd never given her any reason to doubt me in the past, and she seemed to remember that fact fairly quickly. "Alright, that's fair," she conceded after about thirty seconds. "So, how was the trip?"

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading over my face at the memories of the trip. "It was amazing," I sighed. Honestly, though, _amazing _was an understatement. My stomach knotted – in a good way – particularly at the memory of our last night, out on the beach.

"Amazing, huh? Amazing is good."

"Yeah, it is. I'm happy, Lee. Really happy."

A waitress approached my table then, holding my sandwich on a plate, and asked, "Bella?"

"Yeah, that's me." She smiled and set the plate down in front of me. "Thanks," I told her.

"Enjoy your lunch."

"So, you know you're not allowed to forget about us like you seemed to the last time you were in a relationship, right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge you male companionship, but… well, I'm sure you remember how you were when you were with James," Leah said through my phone.

I shuddered. I _did _remember; it wasn't all me, though. I'd told my friends some of what had happened with James, and of course Leah had seen some of it first hand, but some of the details were too painful for me to talk about. "Yeah, I remember," I said quietly, pushing my chips around on my plate with one finger. She'd effectively ruined my appetite, albeit unknowingly, and definitely not maliciously. "I promise I won't forget about you." Things felt different with Edward, even after such a short time, but I knew that on the off chance anything ever did go wrong, I'd need my friends to lean on, and even more than that, I wanted to make sure I was always there for them, too.

As if she could read my mind – or maybe just my tone – Leah's voice softened. "You know we'll always be here for you, right, B?"

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Lee."

"Okay, well, I should get back to work. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure he hadn't kidnapped you and held you hostage in LA permanently or something." I could hear the joking quality in her voice now, and that relaxed me… a little.

"No, he didn't. I'm back in Seattle, and doing well," I assured her, trying to match my tone to hers. I didn't feel like I succeeded. I was still stuck on her James comment.

"You sure you're okay, sweetie?" Leah asked. _Now I know I failed. Leah never calls me 'sweetie.'_

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, forcing my voice to sound 'up.' "Why don't we schedule a girls' night this weekend?" The words were out before I'd thought them through, but in the end, it didn't matter. I knew that, especially in this early, honeymoon-esque stage of our relationship, I'd have to be particularly careful with my time, otherwise Leah and Emily would get left out, and that was the last thing I wanted.

"This weekend? What're you thinking?"

"I'm not sure yet. Maybe we can just hit a club or something, nothing major."

"Yeah, sure. Sounds great. Do you want to call Emily, or should I just talk to her?"

I giggled. "Well, it would make more sense for you to just talk to her, considering you _live _with her."

"Yes, I realize that, Bella," Leah said, pretending to be annoyed. "I just didn't want to take away your chance to make the invite."

"Nah, it's fine," I replied. "I'll call you guys in a few days when I know more what my weekend is gonna look like, okay?"

"Sounds good. Bye, Bella."

"Bye."

Despite the fact that the conversation had turned casual again before we'd hung up, I still wasn't hungry. I went back to the counter and requested a to-go container and packed up my uneaten lunch. On the walk back to the practice, I offered it to the homeless man holding up a sign stating 'Out of Work. Anything Will Help.' It wasn't cash for him to take care of his family, but it was better than nothing.

-x-

When I pulled into my apartment's parking lot at six-fifteen, I spotted Edward's Volvo in one of the spots reserved for visitors. He apparently saw me pull in, because by the time I'd parked in my assigned spot and gathered my purse and briefcase, he was already standing by my car, holding the door open for me. I climbed out of the car and gave him a quick kiss, quickly apologizing for being late. He took my briefcase from me and we walked hand in hand into my building and up the stairs to my apartment.

Once inside, I practically flopped onto the couch, physically tired from the workday and starving since I'd skipped lunch. "Are you okay?" Edward asked, smirking down at me.

"Sorry. Yeah, I'm all right. I just kinda ran out of energy about two hours ago; my lunch break wasn't… well, it just wasn't as restful as it should have been."

"What happened at lunch? I talked to you during your lunch break and you seemed fine."

"Yeah, I was," I sighed. I really didn't want to rehash my conversation with Leah, but since I'd technically been the one to bring it up, it would be rude to now dodge his question and not offer at least a vague explanation. "I talked to Leah, and she reminded me of something from my… former life that wasn't really pleasant. And before you ask, no I don't want to talk about it right now. I'm not necessarily hiding it from you; it's just not something I want to talk about tonight. I hope that's okay."

Edward sat down next to me, draping one arm over my shoulder and I snuggled into his side. "Okay, I trust you. You say it's not bothering you anymore, at least not right now, and that's fine. I know you'll tell me when you're ready."

"Thanks. Anyway, after that conversation, I wasn't really hungry, so I didn't end up eating my sandwich."

"You didn't eat?" he asked. "Last week, you were all over my case about me not eating, and the first day back, you skip lunch?"

I sighed. "It's not a regular thing for me like it was for you last week. Normally I do eat. There were just extenuating circumstances today."

"Okay, okay," he said, backing off right away. "Well, you must be starving now, then."

"Actually, yeah, I am; I'm too tired to cook tonight, though. You wanna order in?"

"We can order in if you want, or I can cook for you."

I thought for a moment. There was really no contest between takeout and Edward's cooking. I'd gotten a taste of that over the weekend in LA, and the meals he prepared were better than any restaurant. "I don't really know what the state of my kitchen is, but if you can find something in there worthy of cooking, I'd love for you to cook tonight. If you're sure you want to."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to," he laughed. "Believe me, I'm not that unselfish."

I laughed with him at that. His honesty was refreshing; I'd found, especially in my profession, that most people lied. "Alright, then, help yourself." I sat back up, allowing him to get up. I suddenly felt a surge of obligation; it wasn't really right for him to cook for me in my kitchen, especially without my help. "Do you want me to help you?"

I could hear the reluctance in my own voice, and obviously Edward could too; he laughed at my question. "No, babe, you're fine. Find _Friends _on syndication or something, okay? I'll take care of food."

I couldn't resist that invitation; _Friends _always made me feel better after a long day. "Thanks," I told him, my grin showing my pleasure at that idea.

He chuckled and shook his head slightly, rising from the couch and walking toward my kitchen. I happily grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels until I found something to watch.

Forty minutes later, Edward came over to let me know that he'd finished cooking. My mouth dropped open when I saw what he'd prepared. "Chicken Alfredo? Did I really have all these things in my kitchen?"

Edward laughed at me again. "Maybe you _should_ spend more time here, if you don't even know the state of your kitchen." I felt my face blanche at the idea of spending more time at my place, but Edward either didn't notice or didn't mention it, he just continued talking. "Yes, you had all of these ingredients. In all fairness, though, the sauce came from a jar, which isn't my preferred method of cooking, but it'll do."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that; jarred sauces are just easier for me, since I live alone. I usually use them on Wednesday nights, when I work late and am too tired to cook something 'real' when I get home."

"Nothing to apologize about, Bella. These sauces can't be that bad or the companies wouldn't still be in business. Besides, I was able to work some of the 'Ole Cullen magic' on it." He flashed me his crooked smirk that did funny things to my insides and I blushed. I knew all about the 'Ole Cullen Magic'. Edward chuckled and handed me a fork. We perched on stools at the breakfast bar, and started twirling fettuccini on our forks and we fell into a comfortable silence while we ate.

About halfway through the meal, Edward set his fork down on the edge of his plate and stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. Glancing at the screen, he apologized quickly to me. "Sorry, babe, I have to take this; it's my mom."

I repeated his own words from just a few minutes before back at him. "Nothing to apologize about. Of course you should talk to your mom." I'd never met Edward's mother, but between the adoration his father held for her and the obvious respect Edward had for her, I knew she must be something special. I'd almost expected him to wander around the room, maybe even take the call outside, but he didn't. He stayed right where he was and held my hand while he took the call. I tried not to listen, but it was impossible not to considering Edward's close proximity. I focused extra hard on my food, at least making sure I didn't eavesdrop on his mother's side of the conversation. Before long, I realized that wasn't really necessary; Edward must have his earpiece volume set pretty low, because I couldn't hear anything that was coming from the phone.

"Hi, Mom… I'm good, great actually… Well, you know I spent the weekend in LA, right? Yeah, I got the movie soundtrack job… Thanks, I'm really pleased, too. It'll be a great opportunity… Alice told…" he was cut off mid-sentence that time, and he sighed heavily before speaking again. "Mom, of course I'm not hiding her from you." My breath hitched as I realized he had to have been talking about me. Who else would he hide – or not hide – from his mother? Edward heard my slight intake of breath and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Yes, I know my birthday's this weekend, Mom… I don't know, I guess I just haven't thought about it…" A look of defeat came over Edward as he closed his eyes and sighed, pulling his hand from mine and running it roughly through his hair. "I'll invite her, Mom, and let you know. I don't want you getting all freaked out if it's just me, though, okay?... Yeah, I'll call you in a day or two… I love you too. Bye."

"Your birthday's this weekend?" I asked him, the minute he'd replaced the phone in his pocket.

"Yeah. Didn't you know that?"

"Er, no… How would I know that? You haven't told me."

"I guess I figured it would've been in my chart… or whatever it was that you kept on me when I was your patient."

"Oh." I paused for a minute. He was right, his birthday would have been in the paperwork I had on him. It hadn't really mattered when he was just my patient, though; as my boyfriend, on the other hand, it mattered a lot. And I told him as much.

"Well, I apologize," he said sincerely. "If I'd known that you didn't realize, and that it was so important to you, then I really would have mentioned it."

"It's okay," I told him. Internally, though, I was scrambling. He'd said that his birthday was 'this weekend.' I absentmindedly twirled my fork in my pasta while I considered things. I didn't know which day this weekend it was, but I did know that I had to get him something. There was no way I was going to let his birthday pass without getting him something. On the other hand, I didn't know what he'd want or need. This was his first birthday with me – hell, it was his first birthday with _any _kind of 'regular' girlfriend – and I wasn't going to let it pass without commemorating it in some way. I didn't want to over think it right now, though; right now, I wanted to focus on the fact that he was here. I'd come up with a gift idea later.

As if he'd known that I was thinking, he didn't interrupt me until I'd refocused on his face. When I looked up at him, he actually looked kind of nervous. "So, my mom wants to meet you." He didn't extrapolate on that at all, but held my gaze while I considered.

"You mom wants to meet me?" I couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say. It wasn't really unreasonable at all for his mom to want to meet me; I was his first girlfriend, after all. That didn't make the prospect any less frightening, though. Meeting Edward's mother would mean seeing Carlisle again, and while I wasn't afraid of Carlisle professionally, now that things had gotten personal – _really _personal – between Edward and me, I didn't know how I'd be able to face him. I'd assumed that I'd have more time to get used to the idea before I'd have to face Carlisle again.

"Yeah. My mom's very traditional, and family means everything to her. All three of us are expected home at least five times a year: on each of our birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Now that he's married, Em gets a pass on Thanksgiving so he can go with his wife to her parents' house, but that's it. My mom's pretty flexible the rest of the year, but those five days are sacred." He shrugged as if this was no big deal. _No big deal? _Even my cheerleaders were cowering in fear at the thought of meeting the rest of Edward's family. They'd snuck behind the bleachers – and not for the good reason – and were huddled together, trying to figure out how to react. They'd never acted like this in Edward's presence before, so I knew my fear was definitely not unfounded this time.

I took a deep breath, bringing myself back to the present. "So, since it's your birthday this weekend, everyone will be there? And…" I paused, thinking back to what Edward had said during his conversation with his mom. That's when it hit me; he'd been cut off partway through one particular sentence. "Alice told her that we were moving forward, didn't she?" My voice was hushed and I wasn't sure whether I was more embarrassed at having been talked about or angry at Alice for doing the talking.

"Yeah, she did. That was the main reason my mom called, actually. Of course I'd be there, since it's my birthday, but since Alice spilled her guts, now my mom wants to meet 'the woman who stole my heart.'" He made air quotes around that last part, and looked as irritated at Alice as I felt. And irritation was definitely the emotion that was manifesting more strongly now; I was sure that embarrassment would come back later, but for now the annoyance was reigning.

I knew that despite all my reservations, I'd go with him to meet his parents, though. For one thing, what else would I do without him all weekend? That thought hit me like a freight train. Why was I already so clingy? This whole thing was so new that I shouldn't have been so attached already, but I was. As a psychologist, I knew it probably wasn't healthy. As a woman, though, I wasn't sure I cared.

"When is this birthday thing?" I asked in an attempt to quash my insecurities.

"Well, my actual birthday is the Sunday the twentieth, but the dinner will be Saturday night. I'll – we'll, if you decide to come with me – be going up Saturday during the day and sleeping over, then coming back Sunday night. You don't have to come, though, Bella, if you don't want to. I mean, I'd love it if you did, but I know this whole relationship thing is pretty new, so I won't be offended if you don't want to meet them yet."

I chose not to remind him that I already knew his father. Instead, I said, "I think I can come. I need to call Leah and Emily, though. See, I kind of scheduled a girls' night for this weekend, but only because I didn't know it was your birthday. Let me find out if they can do Friday night; if that works for everyone, then I'll be good to go. I don't want to just dump my friends now that I have a boyfriend, but your birthday is a special occasion; I'm sure they'll understand."

"That's completely reasonable, Bella. I'd never ask you to choose me over your other friends."

I smiled. Edward was _so _different from anyone in my past. Not only was he not anything even bordering on abusive, but he was also understanding about what I'd been through. I still hadn't revealed_ everything _I'd been through, but he'd been completely supportive with what I had told him. "Thank you," I told him, expressing not only my gratitude for what he'd just said, but also for the things that had run through my mind that he hadn't heard.

We finished eating, cleaned up the dishes, then moved back to the living room and just chatted for awhile. We kept things light, talking about our interests and hobbies, exploring further the stuff we'd already learned about each other. I expressed to Edward how much I'd loved painting in high school and college, even so far as being an art major until my junior year. I told him how I'd really missed painting the past several years, without a proper area to do it in. He'd caught on quickly to the fact that I'd changed my major late into my college career, and when he asked why I'd done so, I dodged his question. I felt kind of bad about that, but I just wasn't ready to talk about Angela yet. The conversation did make me want to call her, though. I made a mental note to do that sometime soon. I tried calling her about four times a year, and it was about the right time now.

We talked about Edward, too, and I learned that besides music – which I already knew he loved – he was a huge movie buff as well as being into photography. I'd actually already known about both of those to some extent, too, based on our time together. Our very first 'date' – not counting the travesty of his attempted seduction of me – we'd watched classic movies most of the day. According to Edward, though, that day was just the tip of the iceberg for him. He watched pretty much every movie that came out of Hollywood, plus loads of foreign and independent films. "You never know what's going to be the next classic," he said at one point. And as for photography, well, he hadn't put the damn camera down once during the entire LA trip. That was a slight exaggeration, of course, but not much of one.

Around midnight – also known as about the time I couldn't hide my yawns any longer - my eyelids began to droop and Edward insisted that he needed to go. I invited him to stay, but he said he wasn't really tired and would probably work on the movie score for a couple of hours before turning in for the night. "Besides, I don't have any clothes here," he pointed out. I considered reminding him that I hadn't had any pajamas at his place the first night I'd slept over, but then realized that was silly. I had been able to borrow boxers and a tee shirt from him; there was no way any of my clothes, even the baggy, 'comfortable' ones, would fit him.

Instead, I said, "Well, we'll just have to fix that, then, won't we?"

My cheerleaders were, frankly, a little stunned at my boldness. I silently reminded them that I was comfortable with Edward, and that I'd been growing bolder and bolder with each passing day. I was no longer the scared little kitten that I'd been just three weeks ago. I knew I had a long way to go still to be 'healed,' but I also knew that with Edward, I was definitely on the right track.

-x-

I woke up the next morning feeling great for two reasons. First, I hadn't had the 'James nightmare.' And second, the dream I _did _have had given me the perfect idea for Edward's birthday present. It would take some doing to pull off, but if I could finish making this gift in time, I had a feeling it would be epic. I hoped so, anyway. My only issue was going to be how to find time to prepare a homemade gift. Not only a handmade gift, but one that would take up a lot of time and space in my apartment until it was done. I thought for a moment before I climbed out of bed… it was already Wednesday, and we were leaving on Saturday for the weekend. In order to go with him, I'd have to reserve Friday for Emily and Leah; that gave me two nights to make the gift. I was a bit out of practice, but I thought that so long as I didn't have any distractions, I could probably finish it in that amount of time. The problem was going to be eliminating the one major distraction in my life, who was also the recipient of this gift. I couldn't think of a single way to do it without telling him that I had to work late. In the case of tonight, it wasn't a lie; I had my group tonight. But tomorrow, it would be less-than-truthful, and while I _hated _the idea of lying, I honestly had no other ideas for how to complete the project otherwise. I also knew that I was the worst liar in the world – maybe the universe – and if I had to talk to him, I'd blow my cover for sure. I opted for a text message later in the day.

There were two phone calls I needed to make before work, but it was quite early still, so I showered and dressed first, then made my first call, to Leah. "Hey, Bells," she answered. I was glad to hear that she didn't sound sleepy, so I hadn't woken her up.

I jumped right to the point. "Hey. So, I've had something come up for this weekend, the Saturday and Sunday anyway. Can we make girls' night on Friday?"

"Yeah, Friday's great, Bella. But I was thinking, I'm not sure a strict girls' night is what I want this week."

I felt my brow furrow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I want to meet your Edward. You're obviously very smitten with him; don't you think it's time to introduce us?"

"Oh." I hadn't really expected that, although I probably should have. "Er, yeah, I guess so. Um, let me talk to Edward and make sure he's available, and I'll get back to you, okay?"

"Sure, Bella. Either way, I'll see you on Friday."

We hung up, and as much as I wanted to think over the significance – or lack thereof – of Leah wanting to meet Edward, I had one more call to make before work.

I needed something from Edward's past for my gift, so I called the one person, besides Edward himself, who might have what I needed. Alice seemed to think that my idea was sound, and assured me that she was pretty confident that Edward would like it. "I have just the thing, too," she gushed when I explained what I needed from her. "I'll bring it by your office later."

A thought hit me then; it might be nice for Edward to have someone on his side, besides just me, the first time he met my friends. "Hey, Alice, I was wondering if you have any plans for Friday night? I mean, I haven't actually talked to Edward about this yet, but I'm going out with some friends, and they want to meet him, and… aw, hell, you probably don't need the whole story, but would you like to join us, too?"

There was a hesitation on the line which struck me as odd. Alice had never hesitated over anything as long as I'd known her. _Although, that's only been about a month; maybe I've only ever caught her on up days. It's very possible that she pauses quite frequently. _Somehow I doubted that. "Actually, Bella, Friday's not good for me. Previous obligations, you know. Sorry. I'll definitely swing by your office this afternoon, though. I know your project's time sensitive."

I was honestly floored; I hadn't expected Alice to turn me down. I tried to hide my shock. "Okay, Alice. No problem. Next time maybe."

"Sure, Bella, next time."

The drive to work was uneventful; honestly, the entire morning was, except for a ten minute visit with Alice, who had brought exactly what I needed for Edward's gift. As usual, Edward called me on my lunch break, and I reminded him that tonight was my group session, and told him that I was just going to go home after work. He took that news in stride, and I was glad for that. I also mentioned that my friends wanted to meet him during what had started out as girls' night, and he agreed easily. "I already asked Alice, and she's already got plans, but maybe you can invite Jasper," I suggested, still thinking that Edward would need a friend.

"Good idea, babe," he told me. "I'll call him as soon as we hang up. We usually hang out on Friday nights, anyway, so I'm sure he'll be up for it."

I ate my lunch quickly and spent the rest of my hour going to the store and purchasing the supplies I'd need for the gift. By the time I'd done that, I had to hurry to get back to the office on time.

By the time I got home that night, I had images of my completed project floating behind my eyelids. I just hoped I could pull off exactly what I was seeing.

-x-

By Friday night, I was glad that Emily and Leah wanted to meet Edward; after not having seen him for two days, I was definitely ready to spend some time with him again. Between work and my after-hours project, I'd delegated the planning of the evening to my friends. Emily had called me at lunchtime on Friday and told me that they really wanted to talk to Edward, so we were going to a nice restaurant instead of to a club. "Someplace quiet," she'd explained.

We'd agreed to meet at the restaurant at seven, so I hurried home after work to shower and change. I was quite surprised to find Edward waiting for me in the parking lot. Under normal circumstances, I would have been thrilled to see him, but not here, not now. I hadn't had an opportunity to put away my supplies after last night; his gift was still proudly on display in my living room. "Hi," I greeted him nervously as he approached my car. I was racking my brain for a way to avoid inviting him inside and coming up blank. _Unless, of course, I forgo my shower and fresh clothes. That just might work._

"Hey," he replied, wrapping his arms around my waist the minute he was close enough. "I missed you."

My heart melted and I immediately felt bad for having lied to him the past couple of days, but I forced myself to think of the big picture. It would be totally worth it when I was able to give him the gift. "I missed you, too," I said sincerely, pouring an unspoken apology into my words. At the same time, though, I knew that I had to avoid letting him into my apartment. So I suggested that we leave right away, before he could even mention going up. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice anything odd in my suggestion; he just led me over to his car and drove to the restaurant.

I spotted Emily's car in the parking lot when we pulled up, even though we were a good fifteen minutes early. I took that as a good sign; they must be really looking forward to meeting 'my Edward' tonight if they were here already. Another thought hit me suddenly; Edward had said he was going to invite Jasper tonight, but hadn't mentioned him again since our phone conversation on Wednesday. Without breaking stride, I looked up at Edward. "Did you ever invite Jasper tonight? You never mentioned it to me when we talked at lunch yesterday."

"Yeah, he can't make it tonight. Said he had 'previous obligations' or some shit. Which is really fucking strange as Fridays is our usual night for a beer and he's never blown me off before."

"Hm. Weird."

"Nah, it's all right. I'm fine just spending some quality time with you and your friends. I feel like I haven't seen you at all this week."

We were entering the restaurant now, so I didn't respond verbally; I just stretched up on my toes and gave him a quick, chaste kiss on the mouth. When I gave the hostess Emily's name, she let me know that my friends were, in fact, here and led us to the table.

The dinner went remarkably well, and the time passed quickly. Leah had asked Edward some difficult questions, but he held his own and seemed to have all the right answers. I was glad, too, because while I probably wouldn't have broken up with Edward over my friends' opinions of him, I definitely took their advice to heart. Em and Leah were both smart, and they had the extra advantage of having seen some of my past unhealthy relationships from the outside; they knew what to look for. When we'd finished eating and were getting ready to go, the three of us girls escaped to the bathroom just before we exited the restaurant. It was necessary on a physical level after all the drinks we'd consumed, but I also wanted to have a minute or two alone with them to get their true reaction.

Locked away in my stall, I spoke up. "So, you guys, honest impression?"

Emily was in the stall right next to me and she spoke first. "Honestly, Bella, he's amazing. He's strong, he seems to know what he wants, but at the same time, he's seriously… well, _nice._ This guy really seems to be the whole package, Bella."

A grin that I couldn't control stretched over my face at her words.

Leah added her opinion before I could respond to Emily's. "Everything Emily said," she said, laughing. "The only thing I can think to add is that I think he'll be really good for you Bella. I know you don't _need _our blessing, but you definitely have it."

I exited the stall and washed my hands, and when my friends had done the same, I pulled them into a group hug. "Thanks, you guys."

When the three of us left the bathroom together, Edward was standing by the door, waiting. We said our good-byes to Leah and Emily and walked through the parking lot to Edward's car. When we were buckled in and moving down the road, Edward looked at me and smirked. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm not taking you home tonight. The past two nights have been absolute torture without you in my bed."

"I was hoping you'd say that," I purred seductively, running my tongue over my bottom lip. When Edward actually gasped at my boldness, I got a standing ovation from my cheerleaders, who immediately began practicing their cheers in preparation of another Edward Cullen touchdown.

* * *

**A/N**

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	15. Birthday Blues

**Hi guys, remember us? So sorry it's been so long since we last posted but real life has been kicking some serious butt this past month. It seems that forces beyond our control conspired to prevent this chapter from reaching you before now. To prevent such a delay from happening again we will be posting every 2 weeks from now on and if there's ever a problem we'll post on our blog (www . wmrcaz . blogspot . com, without the spaces, of course) and on twitter (together as wmrcaz, separately as cazteamrobert and wmr1601) to let you know. **

**Still don't own Twilight but we do have lots of yummy pics of Rob from the WFE premiers, swoon.**

**Chapter 15: Birthday Blues**

**EPOV**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked Bella, who was nervously fiddling with my iPod, as I drove the Vanquish through my small home town of Forks.

"No, but we're here now, so we might as well get it over with," she replied with a sigh, replacing the iPod in the dock. I took one of her hands in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry, Mom's going to love you," I said, giving her a reassuring smile.

"It's not your mother I'm worried about," she mumbled, turning to gaze out the passenger window.

"I know," I replied sadly, giving her hand another squeeze. "I'm sure he'll understand once we've explained things to him." I wished I could offer her more in the way of reassurance, but when it came to my father, I really couldn't. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him; I just prayed that Bella wouldn't take it personally if he seemed less than thrilled at our relationship.

Carlisle didn't know I was seeing anyone, let alone their identity. I'd asked my mother not to tell him as Bella wanted a chance to talk to him herself and explain the situation. Carlisle's professional respect meant a lot to her and she'd insisted that the news needed to come from her. She'd wanted to call him earlier in the week and explain things, but I'd stopped her, insisting that we face him together. There was no way I was going to allow her to front up to him alone. This was as much my responsibility as it was hers and I wanted my girl to know that we were in this together.

I hoped he'd be pleased for us. After all, this was what he'd wanted. Me to 'settle down' and become 'respectable.' Someone he could brag about to his golfing buddies like he did Alice and Emmett. For once, I was doing something he'd approve of and I knew he'd be smug as hell because therapy had been his idea. He'd no doubt gloat that he'd been right all along and take credit for reforming me. While his approval didn't matter to me - I couldn't give a fuck what he thought - I knew it mattered to Bella. The only thing that worried me was the small matter of my trust fund.

I still hadn't told Bella about Carlisle's attempt at blackmailing me. I knew I should tell her, but truth be told, I didn't want her to know about it. I knew, as did Alice, that the money wasn't the reason I'd gone to therapy; I'd told Carlisle where he could shove the trust fund. But if I told Bella about it, I knew she'd always wonder if that was why I'd started dating her. Her self-confidence was improving every day and I didn't want anything to undermine the progress she'd made. I knew it was risky not telling her about it myself; if she found out from someone other than me it would be much worse, but it was a risk I was willing to take. Bella needed to know I was with her because I wanted her and no other reason. Carlisle and Alice were the only people who knew that he'd tried to use my trust fund to manipulate me and I couldn't see my father revealing that little bit of information himself, especially not in front of my mother. So although I felt like shit not telling Bella about it, I knew it was best in the long run. Her happiness was all that mattered to me and I would do anything to ensure that she felt secure in our relationship; if that meant keeping something from her, then I supposed the ends justified the means. I just hoped to fuck that she'd see it like that if this all came back to bite me on the ass.

I turned into the long, tree lined driveway of my parents' home and heard Bella gasp as the large house came into view. "Wow, Edward, your parents' home is really beautiful." Her eyes took in the large Victorian style house that I'd grown up in, obviously impressed by its size and location. Set in what looked like a small meadow surrounded by trees, the three story building appeared timeless and elegant. Bella's gaze swept over the white walls, large wrap around porch and tall old fashioned windows before moving on to the surrounding landscape. "It must have been wonderful growing up out here."

"Yeah, it's a lovely old house. My mom's done a great job restoring and modernizing it. It was fun playing out here in the woods when we were kids. Wait until you see the back of the property, the lawn runs all the way to the edge of the forest and there's even a small stream running across the bottom."

I parked the Vanquish in front of the large garage at the side of the house and quickly got out, rushing round to open Bella's door for her. I took her hand and led her up the front steps. Before we'd made it up onto the porch, the front door opened and my mother appeared. "Edward," she beamed, immediately rushing forward to pull me into a hug. "It's wonderful to see you, I've missed you so much."

"Hi, Mom." I returned her hug, releasing Bella's hand, and kissing her on the cheek. "I've missed you, too," I whispered before pulling back from her embrace and slipping an arm around Bella's shoulders. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella Swan."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." Bella smiled, holding her hand out to my mother.

"Bella, it's lovely to meet you, too," Mom responded, ignoring Bella's outstretched hand and hugging her instead. "I've heard so much about you from my husband and your father that I feel as though I've known you for years. And please, call me Esme."

Bella blushed slightly and smiled as Mom released her and we followed her into the house.

The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air, making my mouth water as Mom led us into the kitchen. "Where is everyone?" I asked, looking around wondering why the house was so quiet.

"Emmett and Rose should be here in a couple of hours. Alice is running late as usual and has only just left Seattle," she answered with a chuckle and a shake of her head before turning to Bella. "I'd make the most of the peace and quiet if I were you; it won't last long once Emmett and Alice arrive." Bella nodded and smiled at Mom before shooting me a nervous glance, obviously wondering where my father was and when he was likely to make an appearance.

"And Dad?" I queried, raising an eyebrow at my mother. I already knew what the answer was going to be before she spoke.

"At the hospital," she replied sadly, refusing to make eye contact with me. "They're short staffed again, so he had to go in and cover the ER, but he promised to be home before dinner." My father's absence was nothing new; I was used to him not being around, but I hated how Mom was always left to make excuses for him. Mom quickly changed the subject, ushering Bella and me to the kitchen table and offering us drinks and homemade chocolate chip cookies. The cookies were my favorites, and she always made a huge batch whenever I visited. I let the subject of my father's absence drop, not wanting to make a scene; Mom knew as well as I did that he just couldn't be bothered to be here and I wasn't going to embarrass her in front of Bella by making a fuss.

We spent the next hour in the kitchen, drinking coffee and chatting with my Mom. She and Bella got along like a house on fire and Bella's nervousness quickly disappeared as the two women got to know each other. I left them bonding over brownie recipes and went to fetch our overnight bags from the car. When I returned to the kitchen, Mom suggested I give Bella a tour of the house and the grounds while she got on with her preparations for dinner. I eagerly agreed, keen to show Bella my old room and some of the places we used to play when we were kids.

I led her from room to room, sharing with her stories and memories from my childhood, amazed at how interested she was in hearing them. I loved that this beautiful, sexy woman wanted to get to know me in a way no one else ever had. I realized as I watched her giggle at my old photographs and geeky teenage possessions that still occupied my old room that I didn't need to pretend to be something I wasn't with her. I didn't need to keep her at arms' length or hide behind a cocky exterior. I could be myself with Bella and she would accept me for who I was, warts and all. I suddenly realized how much of myself I'd kept hidden from others over the years and it was fucking awesome to be able to relax and just be myself. I was completely comfortable with Bella knowing me and found myself wanting to share more and more with her. Being with Bella was just easy, like breathing in and out; it was natural and I fucking loved it.

As I led her back to the house, after showing her around the grounds and the tree house Emmett and I had built in the woods when I was ten, I heard my brother's booming voice coming from the patio. I smiled at Bella reassuringly and slipped my arm around her shoulders in an attempt to ease the nervousness I could tell she was feeling at the prospect of meeting the final two members of the Cullen family. "Don't worry, you'll love Em; he's a big teddy bear with a wicked sense of humor," I whispered into her hair, "and I just know he's going to love you, too." Bella nodded her head gently and gave me a nervous smile as we made our way onto the patio where Emmett and his wife, Rosalie, were sitting talking to my mother.

"Hey bro," Emmett said, getting to his feet grinning like an idiot at the sight of me with my arm around Bella's shoulders. I exhaled a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding, relieved at his friendly greeting and grinned back at him.

"Hey, Em," I replied releasing Bella as Emmett pulled me into a manly hug, slapping me firmly on the back as he did so, surprising the shit out of me and making me happier than he could have known.

I'd spoken a lot about Emmett today and it had made me realize how much I missed my big brother and the easy going camaraderie we used to share. Emmett and I hadn't been getting along as easily as we used to since my lifestyle had started causing problems within our family. Emmett had never openly disapproved of my womanizing before then. In fact, he'd kind of lived vicariously through me, laughing and joking about some of the things I'd gotten up to, being a total guy about the whole thing. That all changed, though, when he repeatedly found himself drawn into the many dramas my behavior created. It had all come to a head the night I'd been caught fucking the caterer in the laundry room at one of my mother's charity dinner parties. After a huge scene, during which my visibly upset, disappointed mother had told me to get out of her house, Emmett had lost his shit with me big time, telling me to "grow up, stop being a selfish prick and to try keeping my dick in my pants once in a while." He'd made his disappointment with me abundantly clear with a swift punch to the jaw that had put me firmly on my ass. I'd apologized to him a few days later for causing a scene and upsetting Mom but he'd heard that shit before and things had been strained between us ever since. I'd hoped that my budding relationship with Bella would help fix things with him, show him that things were different now and that he wouldn't be caught in the middle of my dramas anymore. And judging by his enthusiastic greeting I was right.

Without giving me chance to say anything else, he turned quickly to Bella holding his hand out to her. "And you must be the beautiful Bella I've been hearing so much about." Bella blushed a deep shade of red and gingerly shook his large hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart," Emmett continued, raising her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it, causing her to blush even more.

"You too, Emmett," she responded with a shy giggle, clearly embarrassed by all the attention.

"Stop embarrassing the poor girl, Em." Rosalie's voice was firm as she stood from her seat at the table and walked towards Bella. "Hi, I'm Rose. Take no notice of my idiot husband and come and tell me why you aren't running for the hills screaming in terror after being Edward's shrink," Rose laughed as she took Bella's hand and led her over to the table. Although she was laughing as she said this, I couldn't help but notice the snide little glance she gave me.

"I tried to escape but he's fast and caught me," Bella chuckled along with her as they took their seats. I laughed shaking my head as Bella's eyes met mine sparkling with humor.

"Oh, is that right? I don't remember you trying too hard to get away," I said with a wink as I took a seat at the table next to Bella.

"Does memory loss run in the family?" she asked, causing Emmett to chuckle from beside me.

"I don't know, I can't remember," I answered with a confused look around the table.

"Me neither, dude," Emmett deadpanned just before we all burst into laughter.

The rest of the afternoon passed in much the same way, with friendly conversation and plenty of laughter. Emmett and I soon fell into our old habit of teasing each other mercifully as we regaled Bella with stories from our misspent youth. Stories that Alice quickly joined in the telling of when she eventually arrived. It felt fucking great to spend time with my family like this; it had been a long time since we'd enjoyed each other's company so much. Even Rosalie, whose relationship with me had always been frosty at best, was behaving herself and keeping her jibes and cool stares to a minimum, which amazed the fuck out of me. Bella was obviously enjoying herself, too, and had gotten over her earlier shyness. She fit right in with my family as if she had always been meant to be a part of it; even the ice queen herself, Rosalie Cullen, seemed to like her. Things would have been perfect if it wasn't for the specter of my father's arrival lurking in the back of my mind. I hoped to God that his presence wouldn't ruin the atmosphere when he finally saw fit to grace us with his presence.

A little before five o'clock the girls went to freshen up before dinner while my mother put the finishing touches to the meal, leaving me and Emmett alone on the porch. An awkward silence descended as the tension that had been present in our recent encounters gradually returned. After about ten minutes, I was just about to break the silence when Emmett beat me to it. "So, a girlfriend, eh?" he said raising an eyebrow at me as he handed me a beer.

"Yep," I replied with a smile, taking a quick swig from my bottle as I met his skeptical gaze head on.

"She's nice, I like her, and I hope for your sake that you're not playing some game with her, Edward, just to get your ass out of therapy and Dad off your back."

I sighed and leaned forward, looking him straight in the eye. "It's not like that Em, honestly. I _really_ like her, bro. I _promise_ that this isn't what you and Alice first thought." He studied my face for a few moments before relaxing back in his chair.

"Yeah, I can see that," he stated with a smile. "I'm pleased for you man. Surprised, but pleased."

"Thanks, bro." I tapped my beer bottle against his and grinned. And just like that, the air was cleared.

"Just don't fuck it up. She's good for you," he added as he rose from his chair and headed into the house.

"I know," I called after him before draining my beer and following him inside.

-x-

After freshening up and changing for dinner, I came back downstairs to find Bella and Alice whispering in the kitchen doorway. They stopped abruptly and both smiled innocently at me as I approached. _Oh, God, Alice isn't planning one of her big birthday surprises is she?_ My sister had a tendency to go a little overboard when it came to birthdays and her absence today had already roused my suspicions. I was about to grill the two of them to see what I could find out when Mom called for us to come into the kitchen.

As soon as I saw the look on my mother's face I knew what she was about to tell us. And like fucking always, I was spot on. My father wasn't going to make it for dinner. He'd called to say that there'd been an emergency at the hospital and we should go ahead and start dinner without him. Mom gave me a small, sad smile, an apologetic look in her eyes, as she delivered the news. This is what really pissed me off about my father; he couldn't even make his bullshit excuses himself, choosing instead to make my mother make his pathetic apologies for him. For Mom's sake I decided not to make a big deal out of it and just returned her smile, shrugging my shoulders and offering to help her carry the food through to the dining room. "I'm sure he won't be too long, Edward," Mom reassured me, once we were alone in the kitchen, rubbing my arm soothingly. "He sounded really sorry and I know he was looking forward to hearing all about your big job offer." Yeah right, I'm sure he is. I bit back the sarcastic retort and smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"Don't worry about it, Mom; it's okay, really. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to talk to him when he gets here."

Emmett's booming voice prevented us from any further discussion. "Come on, Edward, I'm starving to death in here," he yelled from the dining room.

"Yeah, you look malnourished, " I called back, picking up the last tray of food and following Mom out of the kitchen.

-x-

After a wonderful meal filled with more laughter and friendly conversation - that thankfully my father's absence didn't ruin - we decided to have dessert and coffee out on the patio. It was only six-thirty and everyone wanted to make the most of the warm, dry evening that was a rarity in these parts. I noticed as we sat outside that Bella had gone a little quiet and distant; I was concerned that she was anxious about my father's pending arrival. With that in mind, I followed her into the house when she excused herself to use the bathroom.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked her, slipping my arms around her waist when she came out of the downstairs bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured me leaning up to peck me gently on the lips.

"You sure? You seem a little distracted." I raised my eyebrows at her questioningly, not quite buying her answer.

"Just a little anxious to get things over with, I guess. I'm trying not to worry about his reaction to us, but I can't help it." She chewed her lip nervously and ran her hands up my arms to my shoulders, where her fingers began to play with the hair at the back of my neck. "I just want it out of the way so you can relax and enjoy your birthday," she added with a small sigh.

"You have nothing to worry about, baby; I'm having a great time. This is the best birthday I've had in a long while. You're here with me and that's all that matters. I couldn't care less what Carlisle Cullen thinks about us." I lowered my face to hers so our foreheads were touching and gazed into her eyes, praying that she would see the sincerity of my words within mine. "There's nothing he can say that will ever stop me wanting you, Bella." I pulled her closer to my body and crashed my lips to hers determined to show her exactly how much I wanted her. Her hands fisted in my hair as our tongues met and I pushed her back against the wall. We lost ourselves in one of the most passionate kisses we'd ever shared, our bodies took over as we became consumed in each other, our minds oblivious to anything but the burning desire we had for each other.

"What the hell is going on here?" The sound my father's angry voice bought us crashing back to reality as the front door slammed shut in the foyer behind us.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ I pulled my lips from Bella's and automatically pulled her in close to my chest protectively as I turned and saw my father standing in front of the door, hands on his hips, glaring murderously at me.

"Oh, my God," Bella whimpered quietly into the front of my shirt, her hands clutching desperately to the fabric at my biceps. I held her tightly to me rubbing her back gently in what I hoped was a soothing manner.

"Jesus Christ, Edward. First the caterer and now your therapist?" Carlisle yelled without giving me a chance to get a word in. "I would have thought you'd learned your lesson about conducting your sordid little affairs in your mother's house after the _last_ time."

"Hold on a minute, this isn't what you think. Bella's my girlfriend and I brought her here to meet my family. A fact that you would have been aware of if you'd friggin' bothered to be here," I snarled through gritted teeth, my anger at his insinuation that Bella was just some tart coursing through my body, making my jaw clench.

"Girlfriend," he sneered. "She's your God damned therapist, Edward."

"No, I'm not," Bella declared in a strong voice, loosening her grip on my shirt and squaring her shoulders as she spoke. "Edward hasn't been my patient since we started dating, Carlisle. Neither of us wanted to jeopardize my career by becoming involved while I was his therapist. I insisted on referring him to someone else before we began our relationship."

"Relationship?" he spat incredulously. "You expect me to believe that you two are involved in a serious relationship?"

"Yeah, we do. Because we are. I've been seeing Bella for over a month now and I was hoping you'd be pleased for us."

He stared at both of us for what felt like an eternity before the sound of Alice's voice drew his gaze from us. "They're telling the truth, Dad," she stated firmly. "I've known about their relationship from the beginning. Edward brought Bella here today because Mom wanted to meet her."

"Why didn't anyone tell me about any of this before?" he asked, looking at each of us in turn as he spoke.

"I wanted to tell you before, but Edward wanted us to explain things to you together, as a couple," Bella answered calmly. "We felt that you would understand things better that way." Carlisle nodded then turned his gaze to me, as if waiting for me to confirm what Bella had just said.

"This is different, Dad, honestly," I said as sincerely as I could. "I know you have no reason to believe me after the way I've behaved in the past, but Bella _is_ my girlfriend and I _am_ serious about her." He looked at me for a few moments, mulling over what we'd said before removing his hands from his hips and relaxing his posture.

"So you're really serious about this?" I nodded in confirmation. "And it has nothing at all to do with getting your trust fund released?" My body stiffened as soon as the words trust fund left his lips.

"Nothing whatsoever," I assured him in as calm a voice as I could muster.

"Trust fund?" Bella looked at each of us in turn, obviously confused by the turn in the conversation. _SHIT!_

"Oh my God, Edward," Alice muttered shooting me an anxious glance.

"You didn't tell her? Jesus, Edward. What the hell kind of game are you playing at here?" my father yelled.

"I'm not playing any kind of game. This has nothing to do with my freakin' trust fund. You can hang on to the damn money for as long as you like. I'm with Bella because I like her, a fucking lot, okay?" I shouted. The anger I'd felt at him earlier had nothing on the seething rage I felt bubbling in my chest now.

"You seriously expect me to believe that?" he hollered. "With your track record?"

"I couldn't give a fuck what you think," I raged back at him, gripping tightly to Bella in an attempt to control my temper.

"Can someone tell me what the bloody hell you're talking about?" Bella's voice rang out loud and firm immediately halting our shouting match. Before I could say a word, Carlisle answered her query in the worst way possible.

"It seems that my son has neglected to tell you that I refused to release the money placed in trust for him by his grandfather unless he attended therapy and made a major change to his lifestyle. And I'm more than a little concerned that he has entered into this relationship with you to convince me that he has." Bella pulled away from me and shook her head slowly her eyes burning into mine brimming with tears.

"No, please no," she whispered backing away from me slowly.

"Bella, please," I begged. "It had nothing to do with the money, honestly, sweetheart. Just let me explain." I took a step toward her as she continued to back away in the direction of the door.

"I'm sorry," she croaked in a broken voice to my mother, who was now standing near the front door, the tears beginning to spill down her cheeks. "But I have to go." She gave me one last sad look before she turned and fled out of the front door.

"Bella, wait. Please!" I screamed after her, rushing to the door to follow her. Emmett's arms wrapped around my torso from behind preventing me from getting out the door.

"Let her go, Edward," he said firmly.

"I'll go after her, Edward, I'll make sure she's okay," Alice assured me. "You need to sort things out here." She looked meaningfully at Mom before turning and running out the door. Emmett released his grip on my upper body and I spun around to face my father.

"Now look what you've done! You just couldn't leave things alone and be happy for me for once in your life, could you? Well, I hope you're fucking happy now!" I spat before turning and walking away.

"Actually, Edward, I'm not," he called after me. "I had hoped that I was wrong."

"What the fuck ever," I shouted back without so much as a glance over my shoulder.

-x-

Half an hour later, I sat on the patio and lit another cigarette, when the sounds of my parents arguing finally stopped and my mother came out to join me. She sat beside me without saying a word and handed me a glass of scotch. I hadn't had a cigarette in over two weeks but I was extremely fucking glad I'd left a pack in the glove box of my car because, fuck, I'd needed them tonight. "Alice has taken Bella back to Seattle; she said she'll talk to her for you," my mom said quietly, taking a sip from her own drink. I nodded solemnly and downed my scotch in one gulp, welcoming the burn it brought to the back of my throat. Mom refilled my glass and continued filling me in on the events that had occurred inside after I stormed out. My father had gone back to the hospital after Mom had torn him a new asshole and Emmett and Rose had gone to bed, deciding to still spend the night. Apparently Em had taken my side and defended me to my father, refusing to believe - just like Mom - that my trust fund had anything to do with my relationship with Bella. I couldn't feel any satisfaction from their faith in me, though, because the one person I wanted to believe that, didn't. I'd fucked up by not telling her and had no one to blame but myself. I explained my side of things to Mom and we talked about my relationship with Bella and her disappointment with my father as we drank most of the bottle of scotch. Before I went up to bed, I received a text from Alice letting me know that they'd arrived safely and that she was sure things would be okay once Bella had calmed down and had a chance to think about things. I slumped lifelessly on to my bed and prayed to fucking Christ that she was right.

Next morning I woke early and left as soon as possible, desperate to get back to the city and talk to Bella. Mom understood my urgency and didn't mind me dashing off on my birthday one bit. The long drive dragged on endlessly, despite my lead foot on the accelerator, as thoughts of Bella whirled around my head. I had to get her talk to me, there were no two ways around it; I just couldn't imagine my life without her now, and I'd do what ever it took to convince her of that.

I raced up the stairs to my apartment, intent on a quick shower before heading to Bella's place to bang down her door until she agreed to speak to me. I unlocked the door and my heart leapt in my chest at the sight that greeted me. _Bella._ She stood in the middle of the room, teeth gnawing away on her bottom lip and her hands fiddling nervously with the hem of her t-shirt. "I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered before walking toward me and standing in front of me. "I shouldn't have doubted you. I should have known that you wouldn't do that."

"It's okay, baby. It was my fault, not yours," I assured her.

"Alice explained it all to me last night, how you'd refused to come to therapy even after Carlisle's threat."

"Bella, I-" I started, but she held her hand up to my mouth to silence me.

"Please let me finish, I need to say this." I nodded and waited for her to continue, too damned relieved to argue. "I should have let you explain all that to me yourself, but I was just so angry and hurt that I couldn't think straight. I thought you'd lied to me, Edward, and that hurt like hell. I know now that your being with me has nothing to do with your trust fund, but you should have told me what Carlisle had done. All this could have been avoided if you'd told me."

"I know, baby," I mumbled against her fingers that were still pressed to my lips. "I'm so sorry I hurt you." Bella lowered her hand and gave me a weak smile.

"I just want to know why you didn't tell me."

I sighed and stepped closer to her. "Because I'm a dumb fuck... who thought he was doing the right thing." I reached my hand up and stroked her cheek gently with my fingers before cupping the side of her face with my palm. "I thought that if you knew about the trust fund, you'd never believe that it had nothing to do with us. You're so insecure, baby, after what those fucks did to you in the past. And I wanted you to have no doubt what so ever that I want you for you and nothing else. I knew not telling you was a risk and that it would be worse if you found out about it but I didn't want to undermine your confidence in us."

Bella gazed up at me and smiled, slipping her hands around my waist as she spoke. "I can see why you would have thought that, and I forgive you for not telling me. I know you did it for the right reasons. But you have to promise me that you'll be honest with me from now on, no matter what."

"I promise, baby," I vowed into her hair as I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my chest. "I fucking promise."

"Happy birthday, Edward," she whispered, pulling my face down to hers and crashing her lips to mine.

**Sexual Healing has been nominated in quite a few categories on the Sunflower Awards. Thanks to everyone who nominated us. It's amazing to think that our little tale is liked enough to be nominated. There are some fantastic stories and writers up for awards so make sure you pop along and vote for your favourites. Voting starts on Wednesday. http: / / thesunflowerawards . blogspot . com / p / voting . html (remember to take out the spaces)**

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	16. Gift of an Apology

**Hi Guys as promised a new chapter within 2 weeks :) Thanks to everyone for your support and reviews, they really do mean the world to us:) Hugs and stuff to our awesome pre-reader Babs, we love ya bb Mwah.**

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**Right, enough of my waffle on with the show, see ya at the bottom :)**

**Chapter 16: Gift of an Apology**

**BPOV**

"Let her go, Edward."

Those were the last words I heard as I fled through the front door of the Cullens' house and down the steps. I was across the meadow and into the thicket of trees before a dainty hand wrapped itself around my wrist. "Bella," Alice said gently.

I wasn't sure Alice was any better than Edward right now, but I also didn't necessarily want to be alone, so I didn't fight Alice's grasp on my arm as I slowly came to a stop.

"Can you take me home, Alice?" I asked before she had an opportunity to say anything.

She just looked at me sadly, obviously not happy with that request. I didn't let my resolve waver, though. I couldn't deal with this right now, not here. I had to get away from him before the flood gates opened. I just couldn't contemplate the idea that it had all been a lie; if I dwelt on the fact that he'd used me now, I knew I'd be a wreck and there was no way in hell I'd let him see how much he'd hurt me. "You're sure you don't want to stay?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I assured her. Staying here was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.

"Okay. Then, yeah, of course I'll take you home. On one condition."

I grimaced; Alice's 'condition' wasn't likely to be very much in my favor. "What?" The hesitance in my voice was obvious.

"You have to talk to me on the way; we'll have several hours, just us girls, and I'm not going to drive the whole way in silence. No clamming up. Deal?"

I'd been right; Alice's condition wasn't something I was comfortable with. But, I knew that if I didn't agree, she probably wouldn't take me home, and if I was going to fall apart in front of someone, I'd rather it was Alice than Edward. "Deal."

We made our way back to Alice's car in the front of the house and she hurried inside to grab both of our bags while I waited in the car. She somehow managed to get out unscathed—and alone—for which I was grateful, though a little surprised. While I didn't want to see Edward right now, the fact that he didn't try to stop me from leaving just proved that everything we'd shared had been a lie.

_What Carlisle said makes perfect sense; it's exactly what I was afraid of this whole time. Edward's... well, Edward, and I'm just mousy, frigid Bella. _I actually shivered when the word 'frigid' danced through my brain; it was Jacob's voice for that one word. _There's nothing about me that he should even remotely be interested in, physically or otherwise. Of course the trust fund was a deciding factor in his wanting to date me; how could it not be? He needed some sort of 'proof' to show his dad that he was maturing, and I happened to be there, ready, willing, and able. God, I'm so stupid! _

My internal monologue continued even after Alice climbed into the driver's seat and steered us away from Carlisle and Esme's house, but she didn't call me on my silence for the first half-hour of the trip, which was honestly a little surprising to me. I knew that I'd agreed to talk to her, but I had no idea what to say, so I waited for her to speak first. When she finally did, I was caught slightly off guard by what she said. I'd expected a tongue lashing, but what I got was a quiet explanation. "Edward was telling the truth, you know. He really does like you; his dating you has nothing to do with his trust fund."

"How do you know?" I asked. That didn't quite make sense; Carlisle's words echoed through my memory. _I refused to release the money in his trust fund unless he attended therapy and changed his lifestyle__…__ he has entered into this relationship with you to prove he has. _It was hard for me to reconcile the Carlisle I'd seen this afternoon with the compassionate man who had asked me to help his son.

"I know because I know my brother," Alice stated emphatically. "You've only known him for a couple of months, Bella, but I've known him my entire life. He's not a bad guy; sure, he made some lifestyle choices that caused some stress on all of us, but he honestly doesn't give a rat's ass about the money. When the only incentive for him to get help was the money, he still refused to go. He didn't start seeing you—as a therapist—to get his trust released. He started seeing you because I asked him to. The money is the least of his concerns."

"Why would your father say such hurtful things, then?" It didn't make sense to me; he'd been a concerned father asking for help three months ago, but now he was so… out of control.

"Carlisle and Edward haven't seen eye to eye for a while now. Dad's always pushed him harder than me and Emmett and he's always resented Dad for it. But it wasn't really much of an issue until after his senior yeah of high school. Since then, it's as though Edward will go out of his way to piss Dad off."

"What happened in high school?" The therapist in me was coming out, and I was suddenly getting more information out of Alice than I'd ever gotten out of Edward, in the six weeks he'd been my patient or the month we'd been dating since then.

"I can't tell you that, Bella." Alice turned away from the road for just a couple of seconds, long enough for me to see the apologetic look in her eyes.

"But you know?"

"He just told me recently; I didn't know when it was actually happening."

_Interesting. I wonder what happened to him that he didn't even tell Alice, who seems to be his favorite person in the world._

Before I could comment on that, Alice was speaking again. "So, do you believe me? About him not dating you to get his trust released?"

I thought for a moment before answering her, even going so far as to hold up a finger when she started to talk again, indicating to her that I was processing, not shutting down. If he'd still refused to see a therapist after the threat of having his trust fund locked up for good was made, that was a pretty damn convincing piece of evidence. And I believed that it was only after talking to Alice that he'd decided to see me as a patient, because that was the same story Edward had told me during our last session, right before he'd quit seeing me professionally because he'd just asked me on a date. All of these things combined really made a lot of sense. "Yeah, I believe you, Alice," I finally said, trying desperately to silence my inner voice that was still trying to convince me that the money had to have something to do with it.

"Ooh, yay!" she squealed, practically bouncing up and down in the driver's seat. "So, are you going to call him now, then?"

"What?" I heard her question, but it seemed awfully sudden. Upon further thought, it did make sense to apologize sooner rather than later. After the fit I'd thrown, doing it over the phone didn't seem appropriate enough, though. "Actually, Alice, I think I'll wait and apologize in person when he gets home. Do you have any idea of when that might be?" An idea was forming in my head; I wanted to be there—with the birthday present that I'd made for him—waiting for him when he arrived.

"I really don't, Bella." She sounded a bit sad about that fact. "Why, what were you thinking?"

I filled her in on my idea, and she was once again giddy. "But we're not at the stage where we have keys to each other's apartments yet," I concluded.

I hadn't even realized how long we'd been talking; Alice was already pulling into the parking lot of the Monticello, right next to my car. She cut her engine and twisted her key ring around a bit, then held her hand out to me. "Here," she said.

I reached out, and she deposited two keys into my palm. "What are these?" I was confused.

"One's the key to the outside door of the factory, the other is the key to Edward's apartment. I'll need them back—eventually—but you definitely need them more than I do tonight."

"Thanks, Alice." I leaned over the center console and hugged her; it was a first for us, but after the huge support she'd been today, I figured she deserved a hug. After we released each other, I pulled my bag from the back of Alice's car and got out, making my way up to the building with one final wave goodbye.

I was sipping a glass of juice when something Alice said came back and seemed to hit me in the face. _You definitely need them more than I do tonight. _Why would she have said 'tonight?' She could have just left that one word off and still have made sense. It was almost as if she was _trying _to plant the idea in my head. It didn't matter, though; as soon as the idea was there, I couldn't shake it. There was only one place I wanted to spend the night. Plus, I didn't know when he was going to be home; would he still stay in Forks tonight after his fight with Carlisle? I just knew that I had to be there when he arrived. I grabbed the same bag I'd just brought inside, along with my purse, and drove over to the remodeled factory.

-x-

I'd hoped that I'd see Edward's car parked on the street when I arrived at his place, but it wasn't there. I honestly wasn't surprised, but lack of surprise didn't equal lack of disappointment. Alice hadn't told me which key was which, so it was trial and error getting into the factory. Fortunately, with only two keys, it didn't take long, even though I did get it wrong the first time. Not only that, but I was so nervous about coming here without Edward that I'd forgotten which key had been for the main door and which was for the private residence, and guessed wrong again. Even though I knew that he wasn't here—based on the absence of his car out on the street—my hands were still shaking while I attempted to unlock the door.

I stumbled around in the darkness, searching in vain for a light switch—I just couldn't remember where it was in here for some reason—until I eventually gave up and felt my way along the wall to the kitchen, where I knew exactly where the switch was. The light flooded the room, causing me to squint in the process. I'd just been in here earlier this morning, and yet I still didn't remember the light being this bright. I quickly ducked out of the kitchen, leaving the light on, but escaping its bright rays until my eyes could adjust. Once I escaped the direct light, my eyes adjusted quickly and I peered around the room; it looked exactly the way we'd left it this morning. _Of course it does; why wouldn__'__t it? No one__'__s been in here since we left. _Somehow, the fact that it looked exactly the same relaxed me. It was like just by being here, I could erase the way things blew up in our faces in Forks. Here, in Seattle, things were the same, so they had to be okay between Edward and me. I hoped so, anyway.

I made my way over to Edward's bedroom; it too looked exactly the way we'd left it this morning. That brought up a whole new flood of memories—the experiences we'd shared in that bed were definitely the best of my life. I entered the room and the smell of… what could only be described as _Edward _invaded my senses. I allowed my eyes to flutter closed as I inhaled deeply, trying to ground myself, remind myself of how good my life was with Edward in it. He was the best thing to have happened to me—ever—and I'd blown it this evening with my stupid insecurities. Who cared if he didn't tell me about his trust fund? I mean, I knew I'd ask him about it the next time I saw him, but only in the context that he shouldn't hide things from me. If we're going to try to have a real relationship—which neither of us had ever _really _had before—being open and honest was more important than anything else. It seemed especially important for the two of us—we were both people who felt that we had something to hide, and we'd both gotten pretty damn good at hiding things over the years. No matter how hard it would be for me as a person, as a therapist, I knew that open communication was the most important thing in a healthy relationship.

These thoughts troubled me on some level; I didn't know how to be open with people, and that was part of why I was the way I was. However, the fact that it was nearly midnight, combined with the emotional stress of the day, meant I was exhausted and far too tired to worry about anything now.

I turned the touch lamp on low so that I could find my way back, then walked through the massive main room back to the kitchen to extinguish that light. After a quick stop in the bathroom, I fell into Edward's bed, inhaling his scent as I fell fast asleep.

Morning came earlier than I expected it to, especially for a Sunday. _Why did I set my alarm for eight again? _I rolled over, trying to go back to sleep, but it was no use. Once the alarm blared, I was up for the day; my eyes just wouldn't stay closed any longer.

Memories from the previous day came crashing down on me. I wasn't sure exactly what prompted them, but even though they weren't necessarily _pleasant, _they were _welcome. _They were the reminders of where I was and what I was doing here. I had to make right the mistake I'd made in leaving Edward yesterday—abandoning him, not trusting him in what he chose to tell me or not, believing his father over him. _I really was the worst girlfriend ever yesterday._

I climbed out of Edward's bed—somewhat reluctantly—and took a quick shower. I had no idea when he was going to make it back, but I had to be ready when he did to make amends for the way I'd behaved yesterday. I found a cute little t-shirt and matching skirt tucked inside my suitcase that I didn't recognize. Upon further inspection, I read _Alice Cullen Designs _on the tags and smiled to myself. Of course Alice would have somehow figured out that I'd need something like this today. The clothes were perfect— the top hugged my curves in just the right places accentuating my breasts and slim waist, and the skirt was slightly flared, hitting just above my knee. Examining my reflection in the mirror, I felt sexy and flirty, but not slutty. The sleeves on the shirt were tiny, barely covering my shoulders, perfect for a sunny June day, and both pieces were solid white. I'd always been leery to wear solid white before, but somehow this outfit worked. It didn't make me look washed out at all; on the contrary, it seemed to accentuate my skin and hair and made my brown eyes pop. I felt pretty.

I entered the main room, and was surprised to see my gift for Edward propped up against his piano. Alice had told me that she'd dropped it off, so I shouldn't have been surprised, but with all the drama of the previous day, I hadn't seen it when I'd gotten her last night. Honestly, I'd forgotten all about it until this very moment. I walked over to it, looking carefully at my work. Alice did a phenomenal job getting just the right frame to accentuate it; the piece looked stunning. _I hope Edward likes it._

I wasn't exactly sure what to do with my time until Edward arrived back; I knew where I wanted to be when he got here, but standing in the middle of the room, just waiting for him, didn't seem like an appropriate use of my entire morning. I puttered around the kitchen, preparing a quick breakfast of fried eggs and sourdough toast, and ate them very carefully to avoid dripping egg yolk on my clothes. When that was done, and the dishes cleaned and put away, I was stumped again. The apartment was immaculately clean, so that was out… I wasn't in the mood for television… in the end, I selected a novel from the bookshelf and curled up on Edward's couch, losing myself in the pages and becoming one with the characters.

It felt like I'd only just begun the book when I heard a familiar sound—footsteps on the stairs leading from the ground floor to here. I hopped up off the couch and replaced the book on the shelf as quickly as I could; I made it to a spot in the middle of the room just as the door opened. I was suddenly nervous. _Why am I nervous? I _want_ to be here, to both apologize and get some answers._ Unconsciously, I drew my lower lip into my mouth and chewed on it while my fingers worried the hem of my shirt. Edward had stopped in his tracks, staring directly at me. His expression was hard to read… something between shock and elation. I don't know how long we stood there, staring at each other, but all I could think the whole time was _Is he really happy I__'__m here? Does he want me here?_

I felt like I had to make the first move, so I said the only thing I could think of in that moment. "I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have doubted you. I should have known that you wouldn't do that." My voice was barely above a whisper, and sometime during my short monologue, I'd walked over to him.

The conversation was short, but heartfelt on both of our parts, and I felt that within just a few moments, we'd come to an understanding. He'd promised complete honesty from now on, and I believed him wholeheartedly. With his promise tucked away inside my heart, there was nothing more to say on the subject. So I didn't. Instead I opted for, "Happy birthday, Edward." Then I pulled his face down to mine, crushing my mouth against his.

His lips were soft, warm, and exactly what I needed in that moment. It didn't take long before his tongue was swiping at my bottom lip, requesting entrance. _As if I could ever deny that. _The kisses went on and on, growing deeper and more heated by the minute, until we were both panting for breath. Edward pulled away slightly, leaning his forehead against mine and murmured, "I am so freakin' glad you were here waiting for me. You have no idea."

"I'm glad, too," I whispered. My arms were still wrapped around his neck, and in that moment, I didn't ever want to let him go again.

I pressed my mouth against his once again, then slid my hands down his lean, muscular shoulders and arms, finally grasping his hand in mine and tugging him in the direction of the bedroom. I had some serious making up to do.

Feeling confident, I pushed his t-shirt up his chest, feeling every ripple of his abs and chest with my fingertips, memorizing each muscle as I went. When it reached his shoulders, he took over as I wasn't quite tall enough to reach over his head; I immediately went back to work on his chest, peppering kisses over every inch of bare skin I could get my lips on, while simultaneously struggling with his belt. I could feel his arousal pressing through his jeans as I finally won my battle with his belt. I popped the button of his pants easily, and slid the zipper down before finally pushing his jeans and boxers down to his ankles. He started to kick his shoes off, but before he could manage, I'd dropped to my knees, gripping his shaft in one hand and his balls in the other. My tongue poked out, moistening my lips, and I peered up at him through my lashes, silently requesting permission for what I was about to do. He was watching me intently, his eyes dark with… lust, but something more, something I couldn't quite name; I'd never seen it in any of my boyfriends before. I could have sworn I saw him nod his head ever so slightly, so I leaned forward and took his glorious length into my mouth.

_Why have I never done this for him before? _The thought was immediate upon feeling him in my mouth, and I suddenly felt very selfish for two reasons. First, for never having pleasured him in this way, but also because it was so pleasurable for me to have him in my mouth. I didn't allow the thoughts to get in the way of my focus, though. Right here, right now, was about making Edward feel good. I massaged his sac while licking and swirling my tongue all over his shaft and head, bobbing my head to some undisclosed rhythm. Edward's hands came up to tangle in my hair, his long fingers gently tugging on my tresses as my speed increased. Using a trick that Leah had taught me, I breathed out slightly, opening my throat to take him even deeper. "Fuck!" he called out as his head hit the back of my throat. I'd never successfully managed that before without gagging; I was glad Edward got to be my first. "Goddamn, Bella, you feel amazing."

I continued the same movements, learning what he liked and what he _really _liked, letting Edward's moans and reactions guide me. I could sense when he was close; his knees were weakening, and as I gripped his backside, digging my fingers into his cheeks to hold him in place, he swore again. "Gonna cum," he panted. "Fuck... gotta stop... oh, God... your mouth... Bella..." Edward's hands tugged harder at my hair, attempting to pull me off him but his hips continued to push toward me as he warred with the desire to cum in my mouth and wanting to be chivalrous. His voice was raspy, and I knew he was beyond the point of no return. He was going to cum now whether I pulled away or not; I was still feeling a bit of that selfishness from before, though, and I wanted to feel him, taste him. I sucked hard one more time and was rewarded with hot spurts of _Edward_ flowing into my mouth. As I swallowed every drop he gave me, I was once again wondering why I'd never done that to him, for him, before.

I released him, and he stumbled back until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he collapsed onto it, eyes to the ceiling; his breathing slowly returned to normal and I made my way over to him, climbing up onto the bed to join him. "That was good, baby?" I whispered.

"Fuck, yeah. Damn, Bella, that was the best fucking blowjob I've ever had."

He sounded truthful, and I couldn't help but smile at his praise. _I__'__m the best blowjob he__'__s ever had. _

The idea was empowering, gratifying. I'd never had any guy tell me that before, and hearing it come from Edward of all people gave me more confidence in that moment than I'd ever had before. His legs were still hanging off the edge of the bed, pants around his ankles and shoes still on; I climbed down only long enough to remove them for him, then I was right back up, straddling his hips. "I'm glad I was your best ever," I purred, leaning down and capturing his mouth with mine. He growled into my mouth, pulling at my bottom lip with his teeth. That one little kiss was almost enough to make me combust on the spot. Almost.

I wiggled a bit, grinding against him, showing him how much I still needed him. Mentally, I would have been satisfied to just get him off, but physically, I needed a release, too. I tried to silently make that clear through the movements of my hips. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my skirt up and cupping my behind in his large hands; he growled again—louder this time—when he realized that I'd forgone panties. "Fuck, Bella, you're going to kill me slowly, aren't you?"

I smiled against his mouth, feeling his cock harden against the inside of my thigh. I allowed my tongue to sweep into his mouth, my hands dancing over his chest, teasing his nipples. When I sat up and scooted forward, he swore again, this time at the lack of contact, but the expletive was cut off when I reached behind me and gripped his shaft. He was definitely ready again. He regained his composure somewhat, just enough to find his way up into my shirt; he palmed my breasts, pinching my nipples lightly between his thumb and forefinger. I cried out in pleasure at the slight twinge of pain; it wasn't enough to _hurt_, just enough to feel amazing. He pulled one hand out of my top, sliding it between our bodies, cupping my sex, rubbing me firmly with the heel of his hand. My breathing picked up, and my hand slipped away from his cock as I fell forward, completely lost in Edward. I felt him slip first one finger, then another, up inside me. "God, baby, you're so wet," he murmured.

"All for you, baby," I replied. "You're the only one who makes me feel this way."

He slowly pulled his fingers out, pressing on _that _spot that only he'd ever been able to find as he withdrew them. "Are you ready?" His voice was husky sounding.

"Mm-hmm," I hummed.

Our hands came together around his shaft, and together we aligned ourselves; then I slowly sank onto him.

The feeling of fullness I got at that moment was nothing short of absolute bliss. The angles I was able to achieve by being on top rivaled what I'd felt in the Jacuzzi in L.A. I sat up, my hands on Edward's chest for stability, and moved up and down, feeling every movement we made together. He met me thrust for thrust, achieving a depth I'd never felt before; it was nothing short of heaven. His hands gripped my hips tightly, lifting and dropping me over and over again, developing a rhythm that was pleasurable for both of us. Before long I was panting, gasping for breath, falling apart at the seams. I was completely unable to make any coherent sounds, but I was far from silent. And then, a moment later, I was crying out, screaming Edward's name as I came hard around him.

I wanted to collapse, but he was still hard inside me, so as I came down from my high, I continued to move with him, allowing him to control our pace with his hands on my hips. He continued to thrust deeper and deeper, hitting just the right spot every time. And then, with no warning, he grunted, his body tensing as his mouth dropped open a little. I could feel him pulsing inside me as he came again. After just a few more thrusts, his hands dropped from my hips and he lay there on the bed, completely spent. I wasn't ready to not have him inside me yet, so I didn't climb off of him; instead, I leaned forward at the waist, resting my head on his chest.

The next thing I knew, there was a loud knocking on the door. I grumbled and pried my eyes open; Edward was still asleep, though apparently he'd moved us up further on the bed after I'd fallen asleep. He was completely naked, lying there beside me without even any blankets covering him. I loved watching him sleep. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I watched his chest slowly rise and fall with each breath. And then there was another knock on the door, louder this time, as if the person on the other side was pounding with their fist.

"Edward, wake up," I whispered, cupping his face in my hand, trailing my thumb underneath his eye. "Someone's here."

"Who the fuck cares?" he mumbled. "Let 'em bang on the door."

I giggled. "Maybe it's important, though," I replied, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I doubt that," he said, but he opened his eyes, too.

I was still wearing my clothes—having not removed them during our encounter—but _dressed _wasn't synonymous with _presentable. _I ran my fingers through my hair, removing any major snarls, while Edward put his jeans back on. I couldn't keep in the contented sigh that escaped my lips at the sight of Edward in low-cut jeans. He glanced over at me and smirked, knowing exactly what had been passing through my mind at that moment. He quickly pulled his t-shirt back on and grabbed my hand, leading the way through the vast main room to the door, where the pounding was still going on, louder and more insistent than ever.

As we passed through the living room, my painting caught my eye. In everything that had gone on, I'd completely forgotten to give it to Edward. Unfortunately, with the pounding on the door—which was now accompanied by Emmett's voice, shouting at Edward to "Open the damn door!"—I knew that now was not going to be the best time to present my gift. As far as I knew, Edward hadn't seen it yet (even though it was sitting out in plain sight), and I wanted to keep it that way until I could present it to him properly, so while he went to answer the door, I dropped his hand and stood next to the piano, blocking the view of the painting. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice.

Edward flung the door open wide, and Emmett's arm was still raised in the pounding position. I giggled to myself as I imagined an old cartoon where the person on the outside continued right on pounding, knocking the inside-person's forehead because he didn't notice that the door had been opened. Fortunately, that didn't happen, but the mental image was still funny. "It's about time," Emmett muttered, walking past Edward into the apartment and clutching a huge box in one arm.

"Yeah, come on in," Edward replied sarcastically, turning around so that he was now facing his brother.

Rosalie sauntered in behind the two of them, closing the door behind her. I could see that she was carrying a box similar to Emmett's, just slightly smaller. "Hi, Bella," she said, grinning at me as though she wasn't surprised in the least to see me here.

"Hi," I replied sheepishly. I was embarrassed by my behavior yesterday, and didn't necessarily feel like I deserved her niceness, but she was very… tactful, and didn't mention it at all.

Turning my attention back to Edward and Emmett, I realized that their conversation was already in progress.

"So, you took off this morning before anyone could give you your birthday presents," Emmett said; he didn't sound upset or angry, just matter-of-fact.

"Birthday presents?"

"Yeah. You are familiar with the concept, right? A gift that one receives on the anniversary of one's birth?" I couldn't stop another giggle from escaping; Emmett sounded like a textbook, and it was funny.

"Yes, I'm familiar with the concept, dumbass," Edward said, punching his brother on the shoulder. "Where are said gifts?" Edward looked… like he was interested, but feigning indifference.

"Come on," Emmett said, instead of answering Edward's question, leading the way to the seating area The other three of us followed. Honestly, I thought Edward was being a little daft; it was pretty obvious that the huge boxes were his gifts. Edward and I sat together on the couch, while Emmett and Rosalie sat together on the loveseat. "Here. These two are from me and Rose. And I'm under strict orders to have you open them first." Emmett set both his box and Rose's next to Edward on the couch.

Emmett flashed me a grin, which was the first time he'd acknowledged my presence since he'd walked through the door. Like his wife, however, he didn't look surprised to see me here. I smiled back shyly.

The paper was now off of the first box, the smaller of the two, and Edward was opening the top. He pulled out a black leather jacket, and though they'd just gotten lucky a few hours ago, my cheerleaders swooned. One of my earliest sex fantasies played in front of my eyes, only now instead of Tom Cruise on the motorcycle, it was Edward. I involuntarily shifted in my seat. _Jeez, get a grip. Black leather does not necessarily mean a motorcycle. _However, when Edward opened the larger of the two boxes, the movie in my head became even clearer. It contained a black helmet that matched the jacket perfectly. I may have even swooned out loud, but no one mentioned it, so I couldn't be sure.

"What the hell? Why would you..." Edward trailed off in confusion before a huge grin slowly spread across is face. "Oh my God, they didn't?"

Emmett chuckled and pulled a third box—a much smaller one—from his jacket pocket and handed it to Edward. "This one's from Mom and Dad."

I watched intently as Edward tore the paper excitedly off the tiny box, revealing what looked almost like a jewelry box underneath. He popped the top; instead of jewelry inside, there was a key. "Fuck me. They did!" He leaped off the couch beaming from ear to ear and headed for the door dragging me after him. "Where?" he yelled over his shoulder at Emmett.

"Garage," Emmett laughed following after us. Edward hurried down the stairs, never letting go of my hand and quickly led us down the long corridor that ran past the studios to the garage at the back of the building.

"Holy fuck," Edward murmured in awe as his eyes took in the sleek, silver motorcycle that was parked by the open garage door. I gasped at the sight it; it wasn't even mine, and I was excited. I knew he'd drooled for years over this particular model of motorcycle, and though he'd previously owned a dirt bike, this was literally a dream come true for him. Edward turned to Emmett wide eyed. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope. She's all yours," Emmett replied, grinning. Edward dropped my hand and eagerly swung his leg over the bike. The sight of Edward Cullen sat astride that silver machine took my breath away; my previous fantasies paled in comparison to the vision of sexiness before me and my cheerleaders began cartwheeling excitedly, thoroughly enjoying the view. Images of tearing down country lanes on the back of the bike clinging to Edward's leather clad body flashed through my mind causing my mouth to water and moisture to pool between my thighs.

As if he could read my mind Edward turned to me with a sexy smirk. "We are so taking a road trip on this baby next weekend."

-x-

An hour later, Emmett and Rosalie had gone, but not until they'd made Edward take the motorcycle for a test drive. He'd come back looking like a little kid on Christmas morning—absolutely elated.

Now, however, we were sitting back in the apartment on the couch, snuggling while Edward told me all about how he'd felt while riding.

When he paused, I took my chance to jump into the conversation; I knew I had to, otherwise he might talk all night long and I'd miss out on the opportunity to give him _my _gift. "So, I know it might seem tame after the gift that your brother and parents bought you, but I got you a birthday present, too," I said, tilting my head slightly so that I could look up at him.

"Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Bella, you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but I wanted to." I stood up, grasping his hands in mine and pulled him up off the couch. "Close your eyes," I instructed.

He smirked at me, but complied. I carefully led him around the furniture, peeking back every so often to make sure that he still had his eyes closed and that he wasn't going to crash into anything while walking blindly. I stopped him right in front of the piano, where the painting had been sitting all day, and positioned him just right so that when he opened his eyes, he'd be able to see the painting. When I was satisfied with his position, I stepped back, and told him to open his eyes.

His gaze immediately fell on the art. Taking a step forward, he examined it. I held my breath, awaiting his reaction. "This is… this is…" He didn't seem able to get any more words out. That wasn't enough for me to go off of, though, so I continued to just watch him. He reached out and touched the painting, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Bella, this is… this looks exactly like a photograph I used to have. I haven't seen it in forever, though."

"I know. Alice still had a copy, and when I talked to her about this project, she gave it to me."

He stood back up, never removing his gaze from the painted representation of the photograph of a young Edward—no older than ten—standing in front of this very building with his grandfather, back when it was a working factory.

"This is brilliant." He finally tore his eyes away from the painting and looked over at me. "I love it. Seriously love it. Thank you." He approached me quickly, sweeping me off my feet in a firm hug.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," he assured me. "This is the best gift I've ever gotten in my entire life."

He set me back on my feet and bent his head down, and pressed his mouth firmly against mine, expressing more in that kiss than he ever could have in words.

**A/N**

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	17. Blast From The Past

**Hi, sorry we're late posting again but better late than never, right? I won't make excuses except to say that I completely fail at organising my time just lately. **

**Still don't own Twilight or Edward but we do get to play with the characters and get them to do dirty things, so it's not all bad.**

**Chapter 17: Blast From The Past**

**EPOV**

"Love you too, Mom. See you soon." I flipped my phone shut with a sigh and tossed it onto the night stand.

"You okay?" Bella asked, lifting her head from my chest to gaze at me, her brown eyes full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine baby," I assured her, dropping a light kiss onto her forehead as I brought my right hand up to run through her hair. The fingers of my left hand traced lazy patterns up and down the top of her arm that was laying across my naked chest. "I just hate it when she makes excuses for him, you know. It's always been the same; he fucks up and Mom's left to explain shit or make his apologies for him. It's about friggin' time he took responsibility for his actions and manned the fuck up."

"I can understand how you feel, baby, but I can sympathize with Esme, too. My Mom was - correction, is - not the most reliable of people, and I spent most of my childhood making excuses for her, too. It's not easy when someone you love behaves thoughtlessly to others that you care about. It must be unbearable for her to see you and your father bicker and hurt each other. Don't be too hard on her, Edward, she's stuck between a rock and a hard place."

"I realize that, Bella, but I just wish he wouldn't put her in that position in the fucking first place. I mean how hard would it be to tell me himself that he couldn't make it for dinner on Saturday? All he had to do was ask to speak to me when he called, but instead of apologizing himself, he got her to do it. If he really cared about me or my feelings then he would have told me himself. It's like he can't even be fucking bothered to be genuinely sorry." I took a deep breath, attempting to swallow down my frustrations with my father and pulled Bella tighter to my chest. My hand fisted in her hair and my fingers gripped her shoulder in an effort to ground myself as my anger at him poured out of me. "I'm so fucking sick of his disapproval and condescending attitude. It doesn't matter what the fuck I do, nothing is ever fucking good enough for Carlisle Cullen. I realize I've fucked up in the past, and I'm far from fucking perfect, but you'd think that just once in his god damn life he could be happy for me. Is that really too much to fucking ask?"

Why the fuck do I let him get to me? I'd been having a wonderful birthday, probably the fucking best ever, until my Mom started apologizing for my father's behavior. I'd called her to thank her for the awesome birthday gift and to let her know that Bella and I had sorted things out. We'd chatted happily for a while until she'd broached the subject of Carlisle's reaction to mine and Bella's relationship, stating that I shouldn't be too hard on him as it was only out of concern for Bella that he'd questioned my motives. Although I could understand that to a certain extent, I just couldn't help but be angry at him for flatly refusing to believe me. Carlisle Cullen could go fuck himself as far as I was concerned. I didn't need or fucking want his approval. God knows I'd never had it in the past.

Bella's hand caressed my chest and neck, her fingers trailing up to my tightly clenched jaw gently massaging the taut muscles below my ear with her thumb. "No it's not," she whispered as I pressed my face into her hand and exhaled loudly, the tension draining from me at the feel of her calming touch. "I'm sure he'll come around eventually, baby."

"I really couldn't care less if he does or not," I stated, pulling her up higher on my body so I could look in her eyes. "I'm just so glad that you believe me, Bella. That's all that fucking matters." I placed a gentle kiss on her lips, silently thanking God that Bella had given me the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm so sorry I ever doubted you, Edward. I should have known better than to believe you capable of such a thing." Her voice was filled with regret as she blinked back unshed tears. I couldn't let her beat herself up over this; hell, given the circumstances and my track record, even I would have doubted me.

"Baby, it's okay. I don't blame you one bit for questioning my motives," I reassured her. "You'd have been a fool not to. I don't deserve for you to have blind faith in me, Bella, and I never have." Bella quirked an eyebrow at me, clearly wanting me to explain the last part of my statement. "When I first started therapy, I had every intention of seducing you so you'd tell Carlisle I didn't have a problem. I resented his attempt at manipulating me and wanted nothing more than to get back at him. Seducing you was going to be just another way for me to stick my finger up at him. So I don't blame you in the slightest for doubting me, and I thank God that you can see that I'm not the asshole I was back then."

"Thank you for being so honest with me," she murmured, gently stroking my cheek and kissing me softly on the lips before pulling back to look into my eyes as she continued. "But I shouldn't have run from you, Edward. I should have pushed my fears aside for two seconds and given you the chance to explain. Instead, I let my insecurities get the better of me, and it was so much easier to believe that you had ulterior motives than it was for me to believe that you could actually want me." Her voice trailed off and she looked away from me, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Why, baby?" I asked, cupping her cheek with the palm of my hand and tilting her face back toward me. "Why is it so hard to believe that I'd want you? You're an intelligent and incredibly beautiful woman, Bella. I'd be a fucking fool not to want you."

Bella sighed and bit her lip nervously before blurting out her feelings in a torrent of frustrated emotion. "But you're so much more experienced than I am, Edward. You should be with a confident, sexy woman who can fulfil your needs, not with someone like me, who doesn't even have the confidence to be completely naked in front of you. How can I ever be enough for you?" I opened my mouth to assure her that she was more than fucking enough for me, but Bella silenced me by placing her hand quickly over my lips. "I know you're going to say that I'm wrong, but I'm not. I want to be that sexy, confident woman for you, Edward. I want to feel that I can give you everything you need. I don't want to be insecure and shy with you anymore. I'm going to try my bloody hardest to be all I can be for you so that I never have to doubt your reasons for wanting me again."

Before Bella could say any more I deftly flipped us over, pinning her to the mattress beneath me; quickly securing her hands above her head, I grinned down at her. "Now listen to me, Miss Swan. You are fucking amazingly sexy, beautiful and so much more than I deserve and I am going to make you believe that if it's the last damn thing that I do. You have given me more pleasure sexually than any other woman ever has and your confidence is growing daily. I fucking promise you, Bella, that you are more than capable of satisfying me. But I'll help you gain that confidence, baby, if that's what you want. Not for me, though, for you." I crashed my lips to hers and kissed her hard before pulling back and rolling my hips, rubbing my rapidly hardening cock against her. "We'll just have work on getting you a lot more experience, won't we?"

-x-

The next few weeks flew by, and before I knew it, we were making preparations for the fourth of July celebrations. We'd planned to attend Cullen Industries' annual picnic in the day, followed by a party at Emmett's in the evening. I'd only agreed to attend both of these events because I knew my father wouldn't be there. He'd persuaded Mom to accompany him to some medical conference in New York and they were staying there to spend the holiday with some old friends from college. Despite Mom's repeated assurances that Carlisle was sorry for the way he'd acted, he'd still made no attempt to contact me himself and offer any kind of apology or explanation.

Bella had volunteered to make the desserts for Em's party. Which was why I was now pushing a shopping cart around the grocery store on a Friday evening while Bella dashed back and forth like a mad woman piling ingredients into the cart and muttering to herself. I hated grocery shopping and usually did most of mine online and had it delivered but Bella had insisted on shopping 'for real.' Something about 'wanting to choose the best ingredients herself' and 'not trusting the personal shoppers.' Whatever. I maneuvered the cart into the next aisle and set about choosing a bottle of wine to go with tonight's dinner. I had a sneaking suspicion that I'd need a friggin' drink by the time I got out of here.

"I think I've just about got everything," Bella said, approaching the cart and tossing in several large bars of cooking chocolate as she scanned the shopping list in her hand. "All I need now is whipping cream and some fresh strawberries."

"Okay, I'll go get the cream and then meet you by the checkouts," I suggested, placing the bottle of wine I'd selected in the cart.

"Eager to get out of here are you, Cullen?" Bella chuckled, amused at my impatience to get this nightmare over with.

"You have no fucking idea," I muttered as I spun the cart around and hurried away.

I finally found the whipping cream and was headed to the checkouts when I spotted Bella talking to a dark haired young woman. I made my way over to where they were standing, bringing the cart to a stand still just behind the young woman. "Oh, here's my boyfriend now. I'd better get going," Bella excused herself, gesturing toward me.

"Edward!" the woman gasped as she noticed me standing there, her mouth hanging open in shock and the color quickly draining from her face. It took me a second to recognize her but once I did I knew I was in trouble. Fucking hell, could this day possibly get any worse?

"Um... Huh... Yeah... Hi, Bree," I stammered, thrusting my hand through my hair and shifting my weight from one foot to the other, anxious as fuck to get the hell out of there.

Bella looked at each of our faces in turn, and I saw her pale as she quickly guessed the reason for both mine and Bree's anxiety. "Oh, my God," Bella muttered clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

"I... I... I've got to go, Dr Swan, I'll, um, I'll see you Monday." Completely ignoring me, Bree turned and fled as if the devil himself was chasing her.

Bella stared after Bree's retreating form. "You're _that _Edward," she mumbled under her breath before turning to me, a stunned and disbelieving expression on her face.

"Um, I didn't know you two knew each other," I said, unable to hold Bella's gaze.

"She's my new patient," Bella declared bluntly before turning and storming out of the store.

_Oh fuck, I'm completely screwed._

-x-

"Bella, talk to me, please," I pleaded with her as she ferociously whipped the cream in the bowl into submission, clearly taking out her frustration on the defenseless dairy product.

She'd said barely ten words to me since storming out of the grocery store and it was driving me fucking insane. I needed to know what the fuck Bree had told Bella about me that had made her react so strongly. What the hell did 'You're _that _Edward' friggin' mean?

"I've already told you I can't discuss Bree's case with you," she replied adamantly, continuing to beat the hell out of the contents of the mixing bowl without so much as a glance in my direction.

This was seriously starting to piss me off. Bella was clearly angry with me but refused to tell me why because of doctor/patient confidentiality. _Well, screw that bullshit. _

"For fuck's sake, Bella." I reached across the counter and grabbed her wrist, stilling her frantic beating. "Just tell me why you're so fucking angry with me." Her eyes snapped up to meet mine and I stared into her chocolate pools, moist with unshed tears and filled with a myriad of conflicting emotions. "Don't shut me out, baby, please."

"I can't," she said with an exasperated sigh, pulling her wrist from my grasp and resuming her vicious whipping of the cream.

I thrust my hands into my hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. I respected Bella's loyalty to her patient and couldn't ask her to compromise her principles by discussing her case with me, but not knowing why she was angry with me was driving me fucking insane. Did she blame me for whatever Bree's problem was? That was fucking ridiculous. "Bella, I don't know what Bree's told you that could make you so mad at me. Sure, I screwed her a few times back in college but I never treated her badly or anything. Hell, we were still friends right up until we graduated. I don't understand why you're so pissed at me." I leaned my elbows on the counter and dropped my head into my hands. _Why can't she just tell me what the fuck I've supposedly done? _I drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly, trying desperately to hold my temper. Losing my shit and yelling at Bella wasn't going to help matters. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger and screwed my eyes shut tightly, continuing to take deep breaths. "Baby, please, how're we gonna fix this if you won't talk to me?" I implored, my voice thick with desperation.

The sound of the whisk clanging against the side of the metal mixing bowl stopped and I opened my eyes to see Bella staring at me, her teeth gnawing away at her bottom lip. Our gazes locked and time seemed to stand still as I begged her silently to explain. "Bree has… issues," she said eventually. "I'm not going to go into details about what they are, but let's just say her problems can be traced back to you. And I'm finding it hard to come to terms with how you treated her."

"How I treated her?" I snapped. "What the fuck? Look, Bella, I don't know what Bree's told you, and quite frankly I don't fucking understand how you can blame _me _for any issues she has. Like I said, I never treated her badly. I never lied to her or cheated on her. We were friends for Christ's sake! Sure, we fucked a few times but she knew the score before…"

"She was in love with you, Edward," Bella stated, cutting me off mid-rant. I stared at her, confused and struck dumb by her revelation. _That's fucking news to me. _When I didn't respond Bella sighed and continued. "You broke her heart. She loved you and you didn't want her the same way she wanted you. She never got over you, Edward and threw herself at any man that would have her in an attempt to forget you. Now you're just one in a long line of men who took what they wanted and left her feeling used and unloved."

"I never knew," I said solemnly as Bella's words sank in. "I never meant to hurt her, honestly. I thought she was cool with the whole casual thing. She never said otherwise. You can hardly blame me for her problems, she was the one who fucking lied, not me, pretending that a casual fling was all she wanted."

"I know you never set out to hurt her, but you did. Your behavior has hurt a lot of women, Edward. Carlisle told me about the nurses who quit their jobs and Alice losing friends because of you. You can't just use women like that and expect them not to be hurt by your actions."

"Hold on a fucking minute," I yelled. "Can you just take a second to see things from my point of view?"

Bella folded her arms across her chest and raised a questioning eyebrow at me. "Go on then. Explain your side of things to me," she yelled back at me. "Because quite honestly, I'm having a little trouble understanding how you can justify your behavior to yourself - let alone anyone else."

We both needed to calm the fuck down if we were going to have this conversation. Screaming and shouting at each other wasn't going to get us anywhere. With that in mind, I took in a couple of deep breaths before rising off the barstool and walking over to the fridge to grab a couple of beers. "Okay, I'll explain, but yelling at each other isn't going to achieve anything. We're going to go sit down and discuss this calmly, alright?" I held a beer out to her and she nodded taking the bottle from me and walking over to to my couch. I quickly retrieved my cigarettes from my jacket pocket and lit up before joining her on the sofa. We sat in silence for a few minutes on opposite ends of the couch, sipping our beers while our tempers cooled.

"I'm ready to listen and I promise not to yell," Bella said quietly as I leaned forward and ground my cigarette butt into the ashtray on the coffee table.

I sat back and angled my body to face her, tucking one leg up underneath me. "I've slept with a lot women but I have _never _lied to a single one of them. I always made it perfectly clear that I wasn't looking for anything other than a good time. I may have been 'using them,' as you put it, but they were using me too. I wasn't always the one to make the first move. I've had plenty of women throw themselves at me and pick me up in bars, women who wanted nothing more than a one night stand with a handsome guy." I paused and took a swig of my beer. "It may be hard for you to understand but there's nothing wrong with two consenting adults indulging in no-strings sex as long as both parties are up front regarding their intentions. The only time people get hurt is when one of them isn't honest about what they want. It isn't _my _fault if a woman I've slept with lied about what she wanted. Those women only got hurt because they weren't honest with me in the first place. I'm not a monster who goes around preying on innocent women, Bella. Every woman I've been with has been treated with kindness and respect, and there are many that were more than happy with the arrangement."

"I guess I've never looked at it that way before. I'm sorry for judging you so harshly."

"It's okay; not many people stop to consider my side of things. They see a woman upset after being with someone like me and immediately feel sorry for them. They're the victims and I'm just a heartless bastard. No one stops to think about the guy who was lied to and then gets badmouthed when really, he's done nothing wrong." I took another sip of my beer and leaned closer, taking Bella's hand in mine. "I'm sorry if you don't approve of my past behavior, but you have to know that I'd never hurt someone intentionally. I can't change the things I've done, Bella, but I am truly sorry if I've inadvertently caused any harm. I know I'm not perfect, and that I've behaved like an asshole at times, but that's not who I am any more."

"I know you're not a monster, Edward. I just have trouble reconciling that cocky asshole who walked into my office with the sweet, sensitive guy I'm dating." She shifted closer on the couch and brought a hand up to stroke my face. "I'm sorry I was mad at you earlier."

"It's okay, baby," I whispered, sliding my arm around her back and pulling her to me. "Just as long as you know I'm not that guy any more. I may not be perfect but I'll always be honest with you and try to be the best man I can be. Because you deserve the best, Miss Swan, and I promise to give you the best of me. Always!"

As our lips met and our bodies pressed tightly together, I knew that I'd never spoken a truer thing in all my life.

**A/N**

**Just a quick announcement to let you guys know that the awesome wmr1601 has a new story posting tomorrow (June 1st). It's called Music of the Heart and is absolutely fantastic. So go check it out and show her some love, you won't be disappointed.**

**It's also time to get us those burning questions you have for Bella. The Edward Exposed interview on the blog has been getting some fantastic reviews and now it's Bella's turn to Bare All in the hot seat. So if there's something you want to know about our B or if you just want her to spill some gossip on E's prowess then let us know either in a review or in a comment on the blog. We'll be taking questions for Bella throughout the month of June and the interview will post on the blog (www . wmrcaz . blogspot . com - just remove the spaces, of course) sometime in July.**

**Okay, so here's the part where we shamelessly beg for reviews. We have nearly 400 readers who have this story on alert but the reviews we get are nowhere near that number. So if you're a lurker and haven't reviewed before then hit the button and show us some love. We love hearing from you guys and are more than happy to discuss your thoughts and answer your queries. Let's see if we can get our total up to 400. There may be a lemony chapter in the very near future if we reach the target ;)**

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	18. Parlez and Parties

**Hi to all our lovely readers. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and comments, we really appreciate them. Check out the A/N at the bottom, we have a little something fun up our sleeves for you ;)**

**Loads of hugs and soppy wet smooches to our wonderful pre-reader Babs. We love you loads honey :) MWAH**

**Okay, so you may know by now that we don't own Twilight. The wonderful Mrs Meyer has that privilege, but does she own a Wet Rob key fob - made just for her - and a shitload of hot Cosmopolis set pics... I think not. Eat your heart out Steph, Wet Robs all mine ;p lmao.**

**Chapter 18: Parlez and Parties **

**BPOV**

Talking things out with Edward, while kind of difficult for me at first, ended up being the right decision. My gut instinct was always to run, and it was hard to overcome that. With the conscious effort I was making now, though, our relationship was actually going somewhere. I just had to get to a place where leaving wasn't my first reaction. Recognizing the problem was a big step for me; what was that old TV cartoon slogan? _Knowing is half the battle. _Knowing that I had a problem would _hopefully _keep me from making the same mistake in the future.

After some quality time with Edward following our talk, we went back into the kitchen and worked together on the desserts for Emmett's party the following night. "I should invite Jazz to the party," he said out of the blue.

"That's random," I replied, laughing.

"Yeah, sorry," he agreed, looking thoughtful, unphased by my giggling. "It's just that Friday used to be _our _night, you know? They were sacred for so many years, and now… well, I haven't had drinks with Jazz in weeks."

His words sobered me quickly. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "Is it… I mean… Is it because of me?" My voice was barely a whisper by the end.

"What? No, Bella, of course not. You've got to stop doing that. Everything in the world isn't _your_ fault."

"But it's Friday today," I pointed out, "and you're here with me instead of out having drinks with him."

"Yeah, I know. That's what made me think of it, actually. I called him this morning, and just like every other Friday for the past month—at least— he's got 'previous obligations.'" Edward rolled his eyes and made air-quotes, obviously not impressed with whatever Jasper's 'previous obligations' were.

"Well, then, yes, I think you should definitely invite him to the party. So long as you don't think it'll be a problem for Emmett and Rose."

"Em'll be cool with it. He knows Jazz from when we were all at U-dub."

"Okay, go call him, then. I'm fine in here for a few minutes."

"Cool." Edward nodded, looking pleased with the decision.

While he was gone, I continued beating egg whites for the meringue that would grace my lemon pie tomorrow. Not being the most engaging activity, my mind wandered back to the incident in the grocery store. I wondered how many other Brees there were out there. Edward had made a good argument—that he was always up front and honest about his intentions with women—but that didn't change the fact that most women viewed sex differently than men. All of my psychological training taught me this. Plus, even in just the short time I'd been with Edward, I knew I was in deep. I couldn't imagine having just the sex aspect with him without all the other stuff. The sex was great—the best I'd ever had—but I really liked the emotional connection I shared with Edward even more than the sex. If I'd been denied that, there's no way I'd be the same person I was now.

So what did that mean for Bree? She'd had the physical connection with Edward without the emotional one. Honestly, that was a bit difficult for me to think about without shuddering. Knowing about his past and seeing it right in front of my face were very different things. It had been almost hypothetical before. Now, the fact that I wasn't his 'only' was very real. Actually meeting someone else who had _been _with Edward… I let the thought trail off. I didn't want to think that way anymore.

The one other aspect that I couldn't ignore regarding Bree, however, was that by having her as a patient, I'd already developed something of a relationship with her. Given the fact that it was an _obvious_ conflict of interests, I just didn't see how I could keep her as a patient. I hated passing people off to other doctors as if they were nothing more than an unwanted puppy. In this instance, though, referring her to another doctor was the right, moral thing to do. Knowing that she was in love with my boyfriend, there was no way I could help her without ending up resenting her, Edward, or both.

A warm arm snaked around my waist just then, catching me off guard and causing me to gasp audibly. "A little jumpy, are we?" Edward whispered into my ear.

"I'm sorry," I apologized quickly, placing one hand over my overactive heart. "You just surprised me. I guess I was lost in thought and didn't hear the door. So, is Jasper coming tomorrow?"

"Yeah. It's about time, too. I half expected him to have some sort of lame excuse for why he wouldn't be able to, but he didn't."

"Well, that's good. I'm glad he's coming."

"So, are you nearly done with all the whipping and beating and whatever the hell else you're doing to that white stuff?" Edward changed the subject abruptly.

I laughed again. "It was whipping earlier, with the cream. This is egg whites, and I'm beating them for the lemon meringue pie. Different actions for different 'white stuff.'" I teased him for his generic term.

"I just know it all looks the same to me. And that I desperately want to spend some more _quality time _with you," he said, his emphasis - along with the thrust of his hips against my backside - giving away his intentions.

"As tempting as that offer is, Mr. Cullen, I have to get this baked right away, or it'll fall. And no one wants a flat lemon meringue pie." I turned in his arms, stretched up, and kissed him on the nose so that he'd know I wasn't flat-out rejecting him; I was just being truthful about the necessity of the baking.

He kissed me back and released me. "Okay, well just come find me when you're done, okay? I'm going to play piano for a while."

"Yeah, okay. That sounds good. It shouldn't be more than half an hour."

"No problem. Take your time." He kissed the top of my head and strode from the kitchen.

I turned back to the egg whites and restarted the mixer; by the time the whites were stiff peaks, Edward's music was permeating the entire apartment. I recognized the piece as the one that had won him the movie score contract, and I hummed along as I scooped the meringue on top of the lemon custard and placed the pie in the hot oven. Twelve minutes later, I pulled it out of the oven, perfectly browned, and placed it on the cooling rack. Between the strawberry shortcake that I'd made earlier (but wasn't willing to assemble until party time tomorrow), the lemon meringue, and the chocolate mousse that was chilling in the refrigerator, I was pretty sure we were set for desserts. It was going to be a fairly small gathering, after all; just Edward and me, Emmett and Rose, Alice, and now Jasper.

I made sure the oven was turned off and went to find Edward.

-x-

The afternoon party at the 'family business' that Emmett now ran—and Edward and Alice each owned equal shares in—was… awkward and uncomfortable. Spending time with people I didn't know well, especially a large group of them, was not my idea of a fun afternoon. I knew that this party was important to Edward, though. The connection he had with his grandfather influenced almost every aspect of his personality, and I often found myself wishing I could have met the man. Even though he'd passed away years ago, it was obvious that Edward still respected him enough to attend such things as the annual 4th of July picnic that had been started the same year his grandfather had first started the business; according to Edward, not a single year went by without the party, and it was important to the three of them—Emmett, Edward, and Alice—that the tradition continue.

It was held in a park near the new factory, and all of the employees were there. Attendance wasn't compulsory, but they had all worked under Mr. Cullen as well, and the tradition was as much engrained into them as it was his family.

There was, however, one couple not-so-discreetly missing from the festivities. "Where are your parents?" I murmured to Edward at one point, about an hour into the picnic.

"Didn't I tell you? My dad had a medical conference in New York this weekend. And, of course, his goddamn job comes before familial obligations. Every fucking time." The bitterness in his voice was impossible not to notice, but I didn't want to dwell on it.

"No, you didn't mention it," I said instead.

"Sorry," he mumbled. We made our way over to the group of green picnic tables under the large covered area that Emmett had reserved for the party. "I'll be back in a few minutes with some lunch."

I nodded, but he walked away before I had a chance to say anything. While he was gone, I thought back to our trip to Forks to visit his parents over his birthday. I should've called my dad that weekend. Granted, he lived in Port Angeles, an hour away from Forks, but we'd had to drive right through on our way. Why hadn't I called him?

_Because you don't want him to know you're dating the infamous Edward Cullen, _a snarky voice inside my head answered. _What if he's heard about Edward's reputation?_

As much as I hated to admit it, the voice was right. Because of the close relationship that my dad had developed with Carlisle during the time he was recovering from his work injury, he knew all about Edward. At least of his existence. I had no idea whether Carlisle would have mentioned Edward's ways—_former ways_, I reminded myself—to my father or not. If he had, it would be almost as hard for my father to get past Edward's reputation as it was for Carlisle.

When Edward returned a few minutes later with barbecued hamburgers and little packets of chips—all part of the tradition, from what I'd heard—we ate silently, both lost in our own thoughts. I assumed Edward was brooding over his father's absence, while I was defending my position to put off introducing Edward and Charlie just a little while longer. It was perhaps a little… crazy for me to feel that I had to justify my decision _to myself_, but I didn't care. It made me feel better about said decision, so I went with it.

Once we'd finished eating, we made the rounds again, Edward making small talk with several of the employees. His smile struck me as fake, and I wasn't quite sure why. He'd been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks, and now that the day was actually here, everything seemed… off. I made a mental note to talk to him about it later.

After a couple of hours of standard picnic games—they'd even brought in a dunk tank, in which Emmett was the target—the party started to break up. Rosalie came over to us after most of the employees and their families had gone and reminded us that the party at their house would be starting pretty much right away. "And you remembered to make desserts, right, Bella?"

"Yeah, I did. I made a strawberry shortcake, which I'll just need to assemble when I get to your house, a lemon meringue pie, and chocolate mousse."

"Wow. Sounds fancy. Okay, so we'll see you there in a few?"

"Yeah, we'll be there." I smiled warmly at her, and she returned the gesture.

The drive to Edward's apartment to pick up the desserts, and then to Emmett and Rosalie's was spent much the same way the picnic had been: in silence. Because there was so little time, though, I didn't push any conversation. I told myself that Edward's quiet was just a fluke; he didn't spend that much time with the other employees, so they viewed him as the invisible boss. I was sure he'd open up and be fine during the second, more intimate party.

How wrong I was.

If anything, he was even more introverted than he'd been at the park. He talked to Emmett, but only while they were standing together at the grill cooking the steaks over the open flame of the grill. I was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of his behavior. When he left the grilling area, presumably to go to the kitchen for another beer, I followed him. "Hey." I touched his arm softly while he was standing in front of the fridge, selecting his beverage.

"Hey, Bella," he replied, not even turning to look at me.

I sighed. _Push through, push through, _I told myself. _You do this with people all the time; it's your job, for crying out loud. It shouldn't be too difficult to get him to at least acknowledge that there's something going on that he's not telling you. _"So, is everything okay with you? You seem… distracted today." I wasn't sure 'distracted' was quite the right word for his behavior today, but it was better than 'moody and depressed,' which was more like it. It was at least less accusatory.

He shut the fridge and turned to face me, leaning against the large appliance. "I think Alice is avoiding me. It's been almost as long since I've seen her as it has since I've seen Jazz, and every time I try to talk to her today—hell, every time I've tried to talk to her in the past two weeks—she's all shifty and quiet. She hasn't been her usual self, and it's kind of freaking me out. I've always had an amazing relationship with Alice—better than with anybody else, until I met you—but now I just don't know." He sighed heavily.

I relaxed at his words, though. I felt bad that he thought his sister was avoiding him, but I was glad that his mood wasn't something I had caused. "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," I said, trying to be reassuring. "Come on, we'll talk to her now."

He resisted, grabbing my wrist and pulling me against his chiseled chest. "There is one more thing, but here is not the time or the place to talk it over. I need some more time to collect my thoughts on the subject, but I do want to talk to you about it," he murmured into my hair. "It's nothing I want you to be worried about, but you should be aware that the conversation's coming. Tomorrow, maybe. Monday at the latest."

"Nothing you want me to be worried about? Then why bring it up?" I whispered urgently, pulling away and looking him in the eye.

"I don't want to have any secrets from you, Bella, but the middle of a party is not the time or the place to talk about it. I swear on my grandfather's grave that I'll tell you soon, but I really do need the time to gather my thoughts and get my brain organized before I'm ready to talk about it." I eyed him speculatively; he still hadn't really answered the question. He seemed to recognize the pointed look I was giving him. "I didn't technically bring it up—you did, when you asked me what was wrong."

He had me there. "Okay, fine. You win. We'll talk about it soon. But can we at least pretend—for the rest of the party—that everything's okay? You should be thrilled. Jazz is here, and just last night you were moping because you hadn't seen him in forever."

"I know." He sighed. "Yeah, I'll put the rest of that crap out of my mind for the rest of the party and just enjoy it. Thanks for not being too pissed at me for being so out of it today."

I just smiled up at him.

True to his word, he was back to normal for the duration of the get-together. The grilled steaks were sublime, and everyone gushed over how amazing my desserts were. "You better not screw this one up, Edward," Emmett even said at one point. "She's got to bring this to all the family functions!" Everyone laughed, because he had large helpings of all of my wares on his plate.

After we'd eaten, Emmett piped music out from the stereo system inside the house to speakers that were mounted on either side of the sliding glass door. Everyone was dancing in a group, and when a slower song came on, we split into couples. Emmett and Rose were together, of course, as were Edward and I, which left Alice and Jasper to dance together.

When the song ended, Edward quickly excused himself, giving me a quick kiss and an "I'll be right back." I watched him curiously, wondering what his deal was—he'd promised me he was going to behave normally—and saw him grab Jasper's wrist and tow him into the house, leaving a bewildered Alice to come and sit next to me.

"What's going on with Edward tonight?" she asked.

I didn't feel comfortable telling his sister about what was bothering him, especially considering it was her. So I lied. "Er, I'm not really sure." I shrugged.

Before Alice could ask another question, the two men came back out, both looking slightly annoyed. "I mean it," Edward said forcefully as they sat down, Edward on my other side and Jasper next to him.

"Yeah, I got it," Jasper replied, just as aggressively.

I looked at him, wondering what in the world he'd said to Jasper while they were inside. "What's going on?" I whispered to him.

"Later," he whispered back.

Things were awkward after that, until Edward and I finally decided to go back to his place.

"You mean you're not even going to stay for fireworks?" Emmett complained.

"Sorry, man. It's just been kind of an 'off' day, you know? I'm ready to call it a night. Alice, can we talk for a second before I go?"

"Yeah, of course," she replied, looking confused. I waved good-bye to everyone and followed Edward and Alice into the house.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and sighed, running his hands through his hair and looking uncomfortable. "I wish I didn't have to say this, Al, but you're my baby sister and one of the most important people in the world to me. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do. You're important to me, too, Edward. What's going on?"

"Just remember that Jazz is exactly the same as I used to be. You know, before I met Bella. I don't want to jump to any conclusions or anything, but…" he trailed off, and started fresh. "I just don't want you to get hurt. So be careful around him. I know you guys were just dancing here because you're the only two who're unattached, but… jeez, this is harder than I thought it would be. Just stay away from him, okay?" He instructed, rubbing his hand over his neck. I knew then that he was really uncomfortable having this conversation, considering he'd used both of his nervous habits in the past two minutes.

"I know Edward. You're right, though, it was just a dance. Two unattached people dancing. No big deal." She shifted from foot to foot, but Edward seemed so concerned about his own awkwardness that he didn't seem to notice Alice's nervous twitch.

"Okay. Good. So, yeah. That's all I wanted to say."

"Great."

Edward and I each gave Alice a hug good-bye, then went back to his apartment.

-x-

Edward was withdrawn again on Sunday, but I didn't press him on it. He'd promised to talk about whatever was bothering him soon, plus I was worrying about how I was going to deal with Bree when she came in for appointment the following day. The only option I could see was bowing out as her doctor and recommending someone else to her.

With that in mind, I arrived half an hour early to work on Monday morning, and immediately went to Victoria's office and knocked lightly on the door. "Come in," she called.

"Er, hi, Dr. Michaels, er, Victoria," I started.

"Ah, Dr. Swan," she replied, giving me a friendly smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I have a bit of a problem with one of my patients."

She put her pen down and regarded me seriously. "Which patient?" Patients' well being was always the most important thing to Victoria.

"Bree Tanner."

"And what kind of problem do you have with Miss Tanner?"

I sighed. I'd been hoping to skip the hairy details, but even as I'd been wishing I could, I knew that was a pipe dream. Victoria was very professional, and I knew she'd assist me, but that didn't help alleviate my discomfort at what I was about to say. "There's a bit of a conflict of interests with her." _There, that wasn't so bad._

"What do you mean?" Victoria honestly looked confused.

_Shoot. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy. _"Well, it seems that I'm now dating someone she used to be with, and said boyfriend is part of the reason she's coming to therapy." I said it all very quickly, and in my rush to get it out, apparently Victoria didn't catch everything.

"I'm sorry, one more time for me, Bella. You're dating her ex?"

I closed my eyes. "Yes. And he's part of the reason she's here. See, they were never officially 'together,' but she fell for him. When he didn't return the sentiment, she tried finding the love she craved from another guy. Well, from several other guys, none of whom ever treated her right. Fast forward and she's in my office needing help… not in getting over him, but in developing a sense of self-worth." I hated having to ask for help, but there was really no other option in this messy situation. I reopened my eyes to gaze her reaction. She didn't look as mad as I'd expected her to be.

"That's definitely a conflict of interests, you're right about that," Victoria said, leaning back in her chair and tenting her fingers in front of her face. After a moment, she continued. "All right, I'll take her myself. Let Jane know that when Miss Tanner gets here, she'll be seeing me instead of you. Thank you for coming to me, Bella. You did the right thing."

"Thank you, Victoria."

I rose from my chair and entered the lobby. Before I could even make it as far as Jane's desk, the elevator opened and Bree stepped out. "Hi, Dr. Swan," she greeted me, looking downright depressed.

"Er, hi, Bree," I returned the greeting. "Can we talk for a minute?" I walked over to her and led her to a chair in the waiting area.

"Sure. But shouldn't we be talking in your office?" she asked.

"Not today." I dropped my voice so that no one else in the lobby—currently only Jane—could hear us. "Listen, Bree, after what happened in the grocery store the other night, I can't in good conscious keep you as my patient. It's a conflict of interests. I already talked to my boss, and she agreed with me. Because I'm with Edward, I can't also help you work through your feelings for him."

"That's not—"

"I know that's not the whole reason you're here, but it is a major contributing factor, and I just don't think I'd be able to help you, Bree. I'm sorry."

Tears had been slowly building up in her eyes as I talked to her, and with my final apology, they trickled down her cheeks. I felt the urge to hug her, but I wasn't sure how appropriate that would be, so I just rubbed her shoulder gently. After a very long moment, she spoke again. "What's so special about you?" she choked out between tears. "What do you have that I don't have? Why does he want _you _when he never wanted _me_?"

I swallowed hard. I hadn't been expecting those questions, but I only had one answer, and it applied to all three questions. "I don't know."

-x-

The rest of the day dragged after that. When I finally got to leave at five, I was mentally exhausted. I drove to Edward's place with the intention of curling up on his sofa with a good book and his piano music in the background for an hour or two before I'd cook dinner for us. That had become something of a routine with us, and I loved it. When I arrived, however, Edward was perched on the loveseat, staring out the window instead of sitting at his piano with blank music-writing paper strewn all over the place like normal.

I walked over to him and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Hey," I greeted him.

"Hey," he replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Aren't you writing tonight?"

"I've tried all day, but I just can't focus." He shrugged.

"Well, you know I'm here for you, right? If you want to talk, I'll listen. It might help you put things in perspective."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm just not used to talking about shit, you know?"

I sat next to him, holding his hand, and he was silent for so long that I finally spoke first. "What's wrong, Edward?" I asked gently. "You know you can tell me anything; I'm here for you. No matter what. There's no rush, tonight, though. Take all the time you need."

"It's all my fault, Bella. Everything is my fault." I'd never seen him so emotional, and I honestly wondered for a moment if he was going to cry. Instead, he took a deep breath, steeling himself, and continued. "I was such an asshole to all of those women. Every single one of them. I told myself that it was okay because they knew it was just about sex, but ever since we ran into Bree at the store the other night, I've been thinking. There's no excuse for what I did. I had my reasons, but that still doesn't make it right."

The fact that he 'had his reasons' struck a chord with me. Everyone had reasons for everything they did, even me. I had my reasons for having become a sex abuse therapist instead of an artist. It sounded like Edward wanted to talk to me about his reasons for having hidden behind his cocky exterior and shutting out all the people who cared for him for so many years, and while I was almost frightened to hear them, I desperately wanted to at the same time. I cared deeply for Edward, and I wanted to do anything I could to help him. "Why did you have that attitude toward women, Edward?" I asked gently, quietly. "And what happened to change it?"

Edward took a deep breath before standing up and leading me to the couch. "You better get comfy, Bella. I'll grab us a few beers. I've got a feeling we're gonna need 'em. This is gonna be a _long _story."

**A/N **

**Sorry for the cliffie but we had to cut things off there, Edward has a lot to say and we really need to be in his head for the next part. Don't hate us too much, please :)**

**There are a couple of things happening over on our blog at the moment. First of all we need your questions for Bella, for her interview. You guys gave us some great ones for Edward but so far poor Bella isn't going to have much to answer. I'm sure there's things you wanna know about the good doctor or things you want her to spill about the sexy Mr Cullen. Get your thinking caps on and let your deliciously pervy imaginations run riot and get your questions to us either in a review, PM or leave us a comment on the blog.**

**Secondly, how would you like an SH outtake in EPOV written just for you, where you get to choose what Mr Cullen gets up too? You would? Then get over to our blog and enter our caption competition. We ran one of these recently on the Robert Pattinson Fan Club group on TTS and due to the rules over there we couldn't have as much fun with it as we would have liked ;). So we decided to have a little fun on the SH blog. So pop on over and join in the fun, the pic is from the set of Cosmopolis and we think you guys will enjoy coming up with a caption for it. Leave your suggestions along with your Twitter name or FF penname either in a review or as a comment on the blog. Who ever comes up with the funniest caption will get their choice of outtake. We know you guys have wonderfully smutty imaginations so let them loose and give us a giggle. Mr Cullen is waiting for you to command him ;p**

**www . wmrcaz . blogspot . com (remember to remove the spaces)**

**You guys did us proud last time getting us over that 400 review mark but we know you can do even better this time. Dare we aim for 40 reviews this update? Hmmm I think we dare. Come on people don't let us down, show us some love and tell us off for the cliffie lol.**

**Remember reviews make happy authors and a happy author might just write a lemony ending to the next chapter ;)**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	19. Confessions of the Heart

**Hi everyone :) Won't keep you long I just want to take this opportunity to wish Happy Birthday to my fabulous co-writer and best friend wmr1601. **

**Hope you have a great day honey :) Love you loads, Cazxxxx**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and comments you guys really blow us away with your love for this story. Hi to all the new readers it's wonderful to have you join us :)**

**Loads of hugs to our smutastic and super fast pre-reader Babs, MWAH **

**Okay, we still don't own Twilight but wmr does own birthday pressies that she can't open until Sunday hee hee.**

**Over to Edward. See ya all at the bottom :)**

**Chapter** **19: Confessions of the Heart**

**EPOV**

I walked slowly into the kitchen and grabbed a six pack of beer from the fridge, my mind a turmoil of conflicting emotions. While I _wanted _to talk to Bella about the thoughts that had been plaguing me all weekend, I was still in no hurry to have this particular conversation. I wanted Bella to know about everything, but I still found talking about this stuff fucking _hard_. I knew I had little choice but to suck it up and just get this shit out there once and for all before it drove me insane.

I sighed as I took the beers over to the couch and placed them on the coffee table next to my half empty pack of cigarettes. Perching on the edge of the sofa, I opened two beers and handed one to Bella before taking a cigarette from the pack and quickly lighting up. I took a deep breath, drawing in the calming smoke, and exhaled through my nose slowly. As the nicotine began to take the edge off my nerves and relax my body, my mind continued to work overtime.

The irony of the situation hadn't fucking escaped me. I'd protested against and vehemently denied for months any fucking need for me to attend therapy, yet here I was, about to spill my guts in what basically amounted to a therapy session. The fact that it was taking place in my living room with my girlfriend didn't really make much difference; it still involved me talking about shit that I'd rather just forget. What _did _make a fucking difference, however, was that it was on _my_ terms. _I_ wanted this; no, I fucking _needed _this. I needed someone to help me make sense of all the fuckery that was going on in my head. No one was forcing me or manipulating me into doing shit I didn't want to do. It was friggin' simple: if I wanted Bella to really know me, the _real _me, the me that she'd somehow managed to see lurking cowardly beneath the asshole exterior I'd portrayed to the world, then I had to fucking tell her everything. Wanting it and needing it still didn't mean it was going to be fucking easy, though.

I needed a few minutes to settle my nerves; Bella seemed to sense this and sat patiently on the other end of the couch while I finished my smoke and got my shit

together. _Why the fuck is this so difficult? She's my girlfriend for Christ sake; talking to her shouldn't be any harder then talking to Alice was and I managed that. _It was harder though, _a lot friggin' harder_.I knew that no matter what I told my sister, she would stick around; she was family, so she kind of had no choice. But Bella did. And I was afraid that she wouldn't want to be with me once she knew the kind of person I was. _Will she want to be with a coward who'd hidden his true self away and treated people like shit just because he'd once been hurt himself?_

I ground my cigarette butt into the ashtray and sighed loudly, running my hand through my hair in frustration before immediately lighting another and taking a swig of my beer. I felt Bella's hand run up my back to my shoulder where she began to gently massage my taut muscles. _Fuck I'm tense. _Her touch felt amazing and I groaned as her fingers manipulated my flesh. "Come here, baby," she said softly, pulling me back toward her as she positioned herself behind me on the couch. I situated myself between her legs and leaned back against her chest, the ashtray and beer bottle resting in my lap. Bella's hands deftly massaged the tight muscles in neck and shoulders, and I felt my body begin to relax. I felt her lips ghost against the shell of my ear as she murmured softly, "It's okay, baby, just relax. Take your time. There's no rush. It'll be okay, Edward." The discarded cigarette smoldered away to nothing as Bella's whispered words calmed my thoughts as easily as her hands soothed my taut muscles. I drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly, the tension flowing out of me as I began to speak.

"I haven't always been the cool, confident guy you know now. Back in high school, I was awkward, gangly, shy, and, as you saw in the photographs, a bit of a geek. I was always tall, but up until senior year I was skinny as fuck and lousy at sports. I'd never had a girlfriend, and though many of the girls considered me cute, none of them wanted to be seen with me. I didn't really get bullied because Emmett wouldn't allow it. He was captain of the football team, immensely popular, and even back then, he was huge. Being Emmett's little brother meant I got to hang out with the popular crowd, and he made sure they kept the teasing to a minimum." I paused and chuckled softly as I remembered a few of the things that had happened to kids who went too far. "Let's just say anyone caught giving me shit by Em never did it again."

"I can imagine," Bella muttered quietly as she draped her arms around my neck, and I leaned back, my head resting on her shoulder.

"Being Emmett's brother also had its down sides, though. People, especially girls, would befriend me just to get close to him. Girls would pretend to like me so they could come to my house or sit with us at lunch where they would always end up ignoring me and flirting with Em.

"The other reason the cool kids tolerated my presence was because I was smart. I used to do a lot of the jocks' homework for them. I was like their pet nerd, I guess. I helped them pass algebra, they made sure no one teased or hassled me. That was also how I got the few dates I had in junior year. I got my first grope of a pair of boobs in exchange for a science paper." Bella snorted at that piece of information. "Disgusting I know, but when you're a hormone riddled sixteen year old boy, you kinda take what you can get."

"It's hard to imagine _Edward Cullen _ever struggling for female attention," Bella remarked, running the fingers of one hand along my jaw.

"I know, right?" I responded, tilting my head to give her a cocky smirk and received a playful slap on the chest for my over confidence. Bella rolled her eyes as I chuckled and waggled my eyebrows at her. "Things began to change senior year, or so I thought at the time. I'd filled out a lot over the summer and had been working out quite a bit with Emmett. Alice had also developed an interest in fashion by then and had insisted on coming shopping for school clothes with me and Mom. Although I was still considered a geek, I began getting a lot more female attention. Most of them still wanted something else of course, and, as you already know, I'm not one to turn down an opportunity. I rounded quite a few bases that first semester in exchange for my academic talents."

"Skanks," Bella huffed, clearly not amused by my tale.

"Despite my increased popularity with the female population of Forks high school, I still wasn't cool enough to date. Good enough to give a blow job to behind the science block, but not to be seen out in public with. That was until Tanya Denali, head cheerleader, homecoming queen and class president began to show an interest in yours truly." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice as memories of her invaded my mind. Bella picked up on my distress immediately and began running the fingers of one hand soothingly through my hair, while the other gently caressed my chest. As before, her touch calmed me, and I continued. "Tanya was smart and popular and not at all like the other skanks on the cheerleading squad. She didn't seem to care what others thought. She'd ignore all the snide remarks and openly shocked stares and hang out with me regardless. We began dating shortly after Christmas break, and no one was more astounded by this than me. I finally had a girlfriend, and she was the most popular girl in the school. At last, someone wanted to be with me for who _I_ was; not just because I could get them close to my brother or do their homework. I should have fucking known it was too good to be true."

"Oh, baby," Bella whispered sympathetically, brushing the hair back from my forehead and placing a tender kiss on my temple. I tilted my head back a little further and gave her a weak smile before continuing my story.

"Despite both of us being virgins when we started dating, our relationship heated up rather fucking quickly. While I didn't have a problem with that, I wanted our first time to be special. I was in love with her and really wanted the first time we made love to be an experience we'd both treasure. But Tanya had other ideas; she wanted us to have sex as soon as possible. She said she loved me and knew it was right, so why wait? Like an idiot, I believed her, and after dating her for two months, I caved." I swept my hand through my hair and squeezed my eyes shut, the anger and bitterness at the memories beginning to boil up inside me. Bella wrapped her arms around me, and capturing both my hands in hers held them securely across my chest, our fingers entwined. Her legs wrapped around my waist as she squeezed me tightly against her body in a comforting embrace. "My parents were away for the weekend, and we cooked up a scheme for Tanya to stay over at my place. Knowing she wanted to take things further that night, I tried to make it as special as possible. I put candles in my room and put on a mix of our favorite music. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me so I bought her a locket with our initials engraved on the front and a picture of us inside. I gave it to her before we had sex and told her how much I loved her. I held her in my arms afterwards, and I swear to God, I was the happiest fucker on the planet. Until I fucking woke up cold and alone the next morning."

"Oh, God," Bella gasped, her body tensing up as she realized why her running out on me that night had freaked me out so much.

"She fucking left me, Bella. No note, no explanation, nothing. She was just gone, didn't even take her locket with her. I didn't have a clue what had happened, what I'd done wrong. I'd given her what she said she wanted. Worried that she'd regretted what we'd done, and desperate to make things right between us, I went to look for her. I searched everywhere and finally found her at the football field. She was with a few of the other cheerleaders and some of the guys from the football team. I walked over to where they were and begged her to come and talk to me. When she did, I wished she'd fucking refused." The anger swept through me again and I gritted my teeth as I continued, desperate to get this said as quickly as possible. "To cut to the chase, I found out that she'd just been using me all along. She'd wanted to date the captain of the football team, a total douche bag who'd nailed every girl he could get his hands on. Apparently, Tanya had wanted some sexual experience because this prick had loads, so she used me to get it. I'll never forget how cold she was that day, how she laughed in my face and asked how I could have believed that she'd actually wanted me in the first place. It had all been a lie and I'd fell for it. Me, stupid, gullible, geeky Edward Cullen, had believed the whole fucking thing. She'd made a complete fool out of me, led me on, lied to me, took what she could get and trampled all over me like I was nothing."

"What a bitch!" Bella spat out, her voice laced with venom. "How the fuck could she do that to you?"

"Yeah, well I wasn't going to let it happen again, that's for sure. Once I'd licked my wounds, sulked and brooded over it for a few months, I decided enough was enough. When I moved away to college, I left the gullible, naïve, trusting fool behind in Forks. It was pretty easy to do. I met Jasper and threw myself head first into college life, my music and partying. Jasper and I formed a duo, playing gigs in local bars and became very popular. Almost overnight, I was cool; guys wanted to hang out with us and girls threw themselves at us daily. Before I knew it, I didn't even recognize myself anymore. But I couldn't have cared less. I became a cocky, arrogant, asshole who kept everyone at arm's length, took his fun and moved on to the next girl who wanted a piece of the good looking guitarist." The hatred and self loathing that had been building inside of me all fucking weekend took over and I couldn't bear to have Bella comfort me any longer.

I sat up, unwrapping Bella's arms and legs from around my torso, lit a cigarette and grabbed another bottle of beer from the coffee table.

Bella sat in thoughtful silence for a few moments, digesting everything I'd told her before voicing her opinion. "What Tanya did to you was horrible; you shouldn't blame yourself for closing yourself off after how much she hurt you. It's perfectly understandable to want to protect yourself from further pain."

"Yeah, I get that, but don't you see, Bella? I became just as bad as her." Words flew out of my mouth in a torrent of anger and bitterness at what I'd become, my voice getting louder with each sentence that spewed forth. "I hurt people and didn't give a shit about it. I turned into a user just like _her_. So wrapped up in his fucking self that he couldn't even see what was right in front of his God damn face. I might have told those women what I wanted up front, but I still fucking _used_ them. And it took Bree turning up again to make me see what a fucking heartless piece of shit I really am."

Bella shot up off the couch and knelt before me, taking my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. You are _not _like her. You are _no_t cruel and heartless. If you were, you wouldn't give a damn about Bree, you wouldn't be racked with guilt over hurting her or anyone else. _You_ didn't set out to hurt anyone, Edward; _she _did. And then she walked away without an ounce of remorse. You aren't capable of that, baby." I shrugged my shoulders and tried to turn my face away from her, but Bella tightened her grip and held my head in place. She pressed her forehead against mine, forcing me to look into her eyes as she spoke. "You are_ not _a heartless piece of shit. You've made mistakes and your actions have hurt people. But you've realized that now, and the fact that you're beating yourself up over it proves that you are _not _bloody heartless. You are a sweet, caring, sincere, beautiful man and I care about you way too much, Edward Cullen, to let you think otherwise."

As her words sunk in, a wave of emotion swept through me more powerfully than anything I'd ever felt before; flinging the cigarette into the ashtray and dropping the unopened beer bottle back onto the table, I crashed my lips to hers, wrapping my arms around her and pulled her as close to me as I could. I put everything I had into that kiss, determined to show her much I appreciated her, how much I fucking needed her and how much it meant to me that she saw the best in me. "Thank you, baby," I murmured breathlessly against her lips as she pushed me back and climbed into my lap, her hands still cupping my face. "Thank you so fucking much for believing those things about me."

"You've got a good heart, Edward Cullen, you just need to start believing that and put the past behind you," she stated firmly, pulling back slightly to look into my eyes as she spoke. "It's who you _really_ are that matters, not who you pretended to be for a while. You're not heartless, baby, and you never were." She kissed me softly and smiled. "You've come along way since I first met you, Edward. You've changed, and I'm so proud of you for that."

"It's all because of you, Bella. Your belief that there was more to me than what I showed you made me remember that there actually was. You made me want to be that guy again, Bella, that kid who let people get close to him, even if they were the wrong ones. I was so fucking lonely before I met you, baby, I just didn't know it. Thank you for rescuing me, Bella."

"My pleasure," she whispered before pressing her lips to mine and fisting her hands into my hair. Her tongue slid out and ran softly along my bottom lip making me shiver. My lips parted of their own accord, and our tender kiss deepened, becoming more and more passionate by the second. A wave of emotion swept over me, and my chest tightened at its intensity. I pushed up off the couch and carried her into the bedroom.

"Bella," I moaned breathlessly into her mouth as I laid us both down on the bed. Our lips barely broke apart as we slowly removed each other's clothing and crawled under the under covers. I rolled us over and stared down at her beautiful face below me. "I need you baby, so much."

Bella smiled up at me and brushed her fingers lightly along my jaw, her eyes glistening with emotion. "I need you, too," she replied, her voice thick with desire. Her hands went to my hips and pushed my boxers down setting my rock hard cock free. I gasped as the head brushed against the lace of her panties making my cock twitch painfully. Bella wriggled out of her panties as I kicked off my boxers then nestled back down between her legs, my weight resting on my elbows.

"So fucking beautiful," I whispered as I brought my lips down to hers in a tender kiss before grazing them lightly along her jaw to the spot just below her ear. I sucked and licked at the sensitive spot as I slid my hands beneath her and unhooked her bra. I ran my tongue down her neck and slipped her bra straps down her shoulders before removing the garment completely from her body. My mouth continued its journey across her collarbones and down to her ample breasts. I captured one taut bud in mouth biting down gently on the puckered flesh causing Bella to moan loudly beneath me and push her breasts up toward my face.

With one hand fisted tightly in my hair, her other hand snaked between us and grasped my cock tightly. "So hard," she purred, sliding her hand up and down my shaft before running her thumb across my weeping tip, spreading the moisture around.

"Shit, Bella, so good," I groaned around her nipple, thrusting my hips, desperate for more friction. Taking my weight on one arm, I ran a hand down her body and cupped her pussy with my palm. Pressing the heel of my hand into the flesh above her clit, I worked my fingers between her wet folds. "So wet for me baby."

"Always for you, Edward," she whispered, grinding her pussy against my palm as my fingers worked their way into her hot core. Spreading her juices around, I twisted my wrist and flicked my thumb over the bundle of nerves as I thrust my fingers deeper into her, soliciting a load moan from Bella. I set a steady rhythm thrusting my fingers in and out of her, curling them up to rub against her G spot with each thrust. I suckled greedily on her nipple as she slowly pumped my cock, making sure to run her thumb gently over the head on the upstroke, just how I liked it.

I felt her grip on my cock tighten as her walls began to pulsate around my fingers. Knowing she was close, I quickly removed my fingers and pulled her hand from my cock; placing myself at her entrance, I lifted my head from her breast and captured her lips with mine as I slid inside her.

"Edward," she cried into my mouth as I pushed deep inside her, sheathing my cock in her warmth. Her orgasm ripped through her body, making her back arch and her thighs tremble. I stilled my movements, reveling in the sensation of her walls squeezing my dick in their velvety, vice-like grip.

I placed butterfly kisses all over Bella's face and neck as her orgasm subsided. "I love feeling you cum all over my cock baby," I murmured against her ear. "You're so fucking beautiful when you cum. I could watch you for hours." I began to thrust my hips slowly, rotating my pelvis slightly as I thrust into her. Bella moaned again, wrapped her legs tightly around me and fisted her hands in my hair, pulling my face back to hers for a passionate kiss. I sped up my movements, thrusting deep inside her, then pulling nearly all the way out only to pound back into her again. Over and over our hips met, Bella's rising up to meet my every thrust.

My balls began to tighten and that familiar tingling grew stronger in the pit of my stomach. I pulled my lips away from Bella's and stared deep into her eyes as I rose up, taking my weight on my arms and pounding into her. I tilted my pelvis to gain a deeper angle, hitting that spot deep inside her with every powerful thrust of my hips.

"Edward," Bella screamed arching up off the bed as her second orgasm claimed her. Her pussy clamped down on my cock triggering my own release and I spilled into her, crying out her name as I watched her fall apart beneath me.

Completely spent, I collapsed on top of her and rolled us over onto our sides. I stroked her face and stared into her eyes, completely lost in their soulful depths. I'd never felt so connected to anyone before in my life. It was as though she could see into my very soul and I into hers.

I eased my cock out of her and held her tightly to my chest, my chin resting on top of her head and her cheek nestled into my shoulder. I knew as we lay there basking in the intimacy we'd just shared, our naked bodies still entwined, that I was falling hard for Isabella Swan and I was fucking over the moon about it.

**A/N**

**We desperately need more questions from you guys for the Bella Bares All interview. PLEASE, PLEASE put your pervtasticly smutty minds to coming up with something you'd want to ask the Doc. Pop your questions in a review or a comment on the blog. Edward's interview was a great success and our Bella is a little disappointed that you guys don't fund her as interesting. Help her self esteem and lets interrogate the shit out of her lol**

**Our Caption Contest is still up and running on the blog and you guys haven't disappointed us with your deliciously filthy entries. Pop over to the blog and see the entries so far and add your own. Remember the one that tickles are giggle buttons the most gets to choose what happens in an EPOV outtake of the citrusy variety. **

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	20. Amazing

**Hi all, thanks to everyone for your wonderful reviews and continued support. We didn't quite reach the 500 review mark but we love you guys anyway. As a little thank you to everyone who's rec'd, reviewed and put this story on alert we have decided to give you all a little citrusy treat. Make sure you read the A/N at the bottom for details.**

**Thanks to Katsflowergirl for all her wonderful questions for Bella and to everyone who's entered the Caption Contest. Hugs and sloppy Edward kisses to our fantastic pre-reader and SH fangirl Babs, we love you BB. MWAH!**

**Sadly we don't own Twilight but we do own new Twi and Rob goodies that we got for our birthdays :) Stephanie Meyer may own Twilight but does she have a custom made night shirt declaring her Robs Bitch, I think not lol**

**Over to Bella see you all at the bottom :)**

**Chapter 20 : Amazing**

**BPOV**

I hated hearing about how Tanya left Edward all alone in his bed after he gave her such a precious gift as his virginity. In my way of thinking, there was nothing more personal, nothing more beautiful, and therefore nothing that should be cherished more, than that particular gift. And she'd taken it, and metaphorically trampled it in her three-inch red heels. Okay, so I didn't know for sure what kind of shoes she wore, but I imagined her in hooker heels. Even worse than hearing what the faceless Tanya had done with such a gift was the reminder that I'd done the exact same thing. _I'd_ hit on _him_ in the bar after his gig with Jasper's band, _I'd_ pushed things that night, and _I'd_ freaked out and left him. _I _was the one who was the same as Tanya, not Edward. That was a hard thing to admit, and I'd only admitted it to myself thus far. I was sure that saying it to Edward—since that would require speaking out loud, as Edward wasn't a mind reader—would be even worse than the silent admission I'd had to do on my own.

"Bella!"

I was snapped back to reality at the sound of Leah's voice in my ear. I blinked, regaining my bearings. _Right. I'm at work, between patients, talking on the phone to Leah. _"Yeah, I'm here, Lee."

"Are you?" She sounded skeptical.

"Yes, I'm here. I promise."

"Okay, then what did I just say?"

"Um…" I trailed off. I honestly had no clue, and lying wasn't going to work. "I'm sorry, Leah. You're right; I was distracted for a few minutes. I'm all yours now, though."

She sighed heavily. "Friday night. Emily and I going out, and we want you to come to. Girls only this time, though. No bringing your boyfriend along."

I frowned, glad that she couldn't see me. "I should check with Edward first. I'll let you know."

I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. And then, her next words made my blood run cold. "Don't let this turn into another James situation, Bella."

I tried not to think about James—ever—but considering he was the driving force behind my choosing my current profession, it was impossible to keep the memories of him totally at bay. Especially when Leah said stuff like this. Her words played over and over in my mind. _Don't let this turn into another James situation. Another James situation. Another… James…_

"Bella!" For the second time in less than five minutes, Leah was yelling at me to regain my attention. I blinked, but didn't say anything. Leah continued. "You're hyperventilating, Bella. I'm sorry I brought Ja— him up at all." Her voice was softer, assuring me that she was being sincere.

Sincere or not, though, I needed out of this conversation. "I'll call you back, Lee." I hung up without waiting for a reply. Resting my forehead on my desk, I closed my eyes and attempted to steady my breathing. I refused to let Leah's words take any more root in my mind than they already had. Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on the perspective—there was a knock on my office door just then. I took one last deep breath, glad that I'd managed to get somewhat under control again. "Come in," I called.

"Dr. Swan?" The voice sounded concerned.

I lifted my head. "Good afternoon, Mr. Barry," I greeted my patient.

-x-

As usual, I went to Edward's after work. He was in the midst of working on a new piece for the movie score, so I entered the apartment quietly and cuddled up on the couch, listening to his piano playing and thinking about what Leah had said on the phone. I still hadn't called her back, but I'd need to soon, which meant talking to Edward tonight.

Leah's words hadn't left my mind all day. I'd been able to focus on my patients—that was what it meant to be not only professional, but a doctor—but during every lull of the day, those three tiny words flitted back into my brain... _Another James situation. _Edward wasn't like James; I was sure of that. He'd never even remotely displayed any of those characteristics. Then again, maybe he was repressing his urges. It was out of his character to date one woman exclusively, and now we'd been together for several months.

_No! Stop it, Bella,_ I told myself. _Edward is _not _like that! _I wanted to believe my thoughts, but I needed some sort of independent proof. The best way to get that was to just talk to him about Leah's proposition for a girls-only night this weekend. I still didn't want to, though.

"Bella?" The voice was gentler this time, not at all shrill like Leah's—even when she was being gentle, she had an overbearing quality.

I looked up and met Edward's green eyes with my own. I'd been so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped playing. "Hey." I smiled.

"You seem distracted tonight. Do you want to talk?"

"I'm fine. Really," I told him. He didn't look like he believed me, but the time just wasn't right to completely open up yet. _You can mention Friday night to him without talking about James. The two subjects aren't mutually inclusive. _"Um, actually, I talked to Leah today."

"That's great. How is she? And her cousin… Emma?"

"Emily," I corrected him. "They're good. They're planning a girls' night on Friday."

"Sounds like fun."

"Yeah. So I was kind of wondering if it was okay with you if I went."

"What?" He looked honestly confused at what I was saying.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. "Do you mind if I go out with Leah and Em on Friday?"

"You're not actually asking my permission to go out without me, are you?"

"Er, yes?" It came out like a question, and I looked down at my lap, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"What the hell, Bella?" He sounded… angry. _At me? _I knotted my fingers together, twisting them until they ached, and kept my head down. I heard him sigh, and felt his fingers underneath my chin, trying to lift my face to meet his. I turned my head, releasing my chin from his grasp. My eyes filled with tears, recognizing that I was, indeed, in another doomed relationship. "Hey. Look at me."

"No," I mumbled, wiping the tears away with my fingertips.

He sighed. "Fine. At least listen. I don't know what I did to make you think I wouldn't let you have your girlfriends, Bella, but whatever it was, was wrong. I'd never keep you from your friends."

That wasn't at all what I was expecting to hear, and I finally lifted my eyes to his. "Really?"

"God, Bella, of course not. You don't have to ask my fucking permission to make plans without me. So long as we don't already have plans, I'm fine with you going out with the girls, baby. I mean, it would be nice if you let me know about any girls' nights when you plan them, but beyond that, you're your own person. I'll never force you to be someone you're not, and I'll never try to control you or take away your independence. I know I'm really new to this whole relationship thing, but jeez… If I've done anything—_anything—_to give you the impression that I'm not in this for _you_, then I'm sorry. I want what's best for you, and I know that sometimes that's going to mean spending time away from me. I'm okay with that, Bella."

There wasn't a trace of apprehension or untruth in his eyes, which was all the proof I needed that I had been right; Edward was _nothing _like… any of my past relationships.

I didn't even realize that I'd moved until I was snuggled up in Edward's lap, and he was stroking my hair. "How did I ever get so lucky?" I murmured. I felt lucky, too; I had the best boyfriend on the planet.

"I'm the lucky one, baby. I'm the luckiest bastard on the face of the Earth."

-x-

As I was packing up the things to take away from the office the following day, my cell phone rang. I set my purse on my desk and pulled the phone out. I was surprised when I read the name on the caller ID: _Dad. _I hadn't talked to my father in over a month. Not because we were estranged or anything, it just hadn't happened.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted.

"Hi, Bells." His voice was a gruff as ever.

As much as I loved my dad, I couldn't help but wonder why he was calling. "So, what's up?"

"Can't I just call my daughter on occasion?"

I sighed quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear the exasperation. "Of course you can, Dad." I was secretly wondering if he'd heard about me and Edward, and decided that I'd better take control of this conversation. If at all possible, I wanted to avoid having to talk about that particular aspect of my life yet. It seemed like a long shot, considering my father and Carlisle were still friendly, and Carlisle had known for nearly two weeks about mine and Edward's relationship. It was unlikely that he wouldn't tell my dad—he'd been angry enough that I wouldn't put it past him to try to drive a wedge into my relationship with Edward. "So, how've you been?"

"I'm good, Bells. I was actually wondering if you were still planning on coming up for your birthday. It's been kind of a tradition, but I didn't want to assume. You know what they say…"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm familiar with the saying," I interrupted. Ever since I'd started college, my dad and I had spent my birthday and a couple of days on either side of it together. It wasn't the only time during the year I saw him, of course, but it was the only time that was practically scheduled. This year was a bit different since I was with Edward, but my dad didn't know that I was dating Edward—as far as I knew. I wasn't going to blow my special time with my dad off just because I had a boyfriend now. "If you're still willing to have me, of course I want to come up for my birthday. I love that little tradition."

I could practically hear his smile through the phone. "Me, too."

"Great." I smiled, too.

"That was pretty much it. I need to put in for the time off pretty soon, so I wanted to make sure we were still on before I did that."

"That's good planning."

"Right. Well, I guess I'll go. Like I said, just wanted to get the groundwork laid for your birthday."

"Okay. I love you, Dad."

"Love you, too, Bells."

-x-

Friday night finally arrived, and I was so excited. I loved spending time with Edward, but I was really looking forward to some uninhibited, possibly drunken, talking and laughing with my best friends. The best part—other than being comfortable in the fact that Edward really was okay with me having a life outside of him—was that I'd invited Alice and Rosalie along, too. My oldest friends in the world were meeting my newest friends. I was confident that they'd get along, too.

Alice was working late and planning to leave from the studio, and since I was staying at Edward's place most nights these days, it made sense to meet Alice and Rose there, as Alice's studio was in the same building. Plus it meant I got to see Edward before our nights out. I just went there after work, like normal, headed upstairs long enough to give Edward a kiss and change into 'going out' clothes—skinny jeans and a fitted, blue girl tee—before heading back down to Alice's studio. Rose had just arrived with Emmett, who was going to drop us off at the club before returning to pick up Edward for their night out with Jazz. We were picking Emily and Leah up on the way as Emmett's SUV was big enough for us all to travel together. This also meant no one had to be the dreaded designated driver for the evening; we could all let our hair down and have a drink then just cab it home at the end of the night.

When all five of us were piled into Emmett's SUV, I offered quick intros. Alice and Leah hit it off right away; I'd never really noticed before just how similar their personalities were. If Alice was six years older or Leah six years younger, they'd be a force to be reckoned with. As it was, Leah had somewhat outgrown some of the sporadic tendencies that Alice still exhibited, but I could tell after less than five minutes that with a couple of drinks, Leah was going to be just as hyper as she used to be.

Upon arriving at the club, we slid into a large corner booth and ordered drinks. Conversation flowed easily, and I was grateful for that. I'd been a little nervous about merging these two parts of my life—essentially pre- and post-Edward—but it was obvious that my worry was unfounded. Things couldn't have gotten off to a better start. In fact, as I sipped my strawberry margarita, I watched as Emily and Rose had one conversation while Alice and Leah had another one. Ironically, I was almost like a fifth wheel amongst two groups of my friends whose only common denominator was me. It didn't upset me, though; I was actually glad that everyone was getting along so well. Maybe we could do group activities more often now.

Not wanting to get too lost in thought, I focused on one of the conversations. Rose and Emily were talking about work—turns out they worked for rival companies, and they were laughing at the irony—which was boring, so I turned my attention to Leah and Alice.

"I'm trying to focus on my career right now. I don't really have time to date," Leah was saying. _Great. Everyone's talking about work._

"I just don't see why you can't have both," Alice rebutted.

"But you're not seeing anyone, Alice," I interjected.

It was hard to tell in the dark lights of the club, but it looked like Alice was actually blushing. "Sure," she said after a moment. "But that doesn't make my argument any less valid."

"It just depends on the person, I guess," Leah said, seeming not to notice Alice's odd reaction. "You want both, I don't want the distraction."

"Oooh Leah," Emily piped up suddenly. "Did you tell Bella about you working with Angela's brother Scott?"

"Damn, no, I didn't, thanks for reminding me. Yeah, so Bella, guess who just transferred to our office?" Leah asked, rolling her eyes.

"Hmmm, Angela's brother Scott by any chance?" I deadpanned trying my best not to laugh at Emily's expression.

"Oh stop it you two! I know I stole your thunder but is there really a need for the comedy routine?" Emily tried to sound stern but didn't quite manage it due to the smile she couldn't hide. "It's like frickin' college all over again."

"Anyway," Leah continued, ignoring Emily and causing the giggle I'd been trying to hold in to burst forth. "Scott just transferred to our office this week and he says that Angela is doing great. She might even be visiting soon."

"That's wonderful news. I haven't heard from her in a while. I really should give her a call."The mention of Angela brought with it that familiar feeling of guilt; it really had been too long since I'd talked to her, especially considering it was my fault she'd left the city in the first place.

The waiter walked by just then, and Leah flagged him down, requesting fresh drinks all around, which pulled me out of my melancholy thoughts. I tried to tell her that I wasn't ready for another one yet, but she waved me down. I laughed quietly and rolled my eyes. Leah never would take 'no' for an answer.

Before the waiter returned with our new drinks, the deejay announced that Karaoke would be starting after a short break. There was a resounding cheer from the crowd, but I groaned. Leah heard me. "Oh, you're totally getting up there tonight, Bella," she said.

"Yeah, we'll all have a go," Alice chimed in, bobbing up and down excitedly in her seat. "I love karaoke."

"There's no bloody way I'm getting up there and making a fool of myself," I argued.

"Come on, Bella, it'll be fun," Emily said.

"It'll be a blast," Rose added. "We'll totally rock it."

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered. "Four against one?"

"We'll do one all together," Leah said in an attempt to mollify me. "But I want to hear you up there yourself, too."

I didn't think I'd be getting out of it, but I wasn't ready to just give in that easily, either. Luckily for me, the waiter turned up with our drinks then. I was going to need a few more drinks if I was expected to get up on that stage and sing tonight.

We continued to talk, drink, and laugh at the other karaoke participants, and after my third cocktail and a round of Tequila slammers that Rose insisted we have, I was feeling relaxed and slightly buzzed. "Okay, if we're going to do this, let's do it," I said, pushing Leah slightly.

She and Alice grinned and actually bounced out of the booth. Literally bounced; it was like watching Tigger on speed except now there wasn't 'only one.' It was a strange sight. Then I remembered my thoughts from before; now that Leah had had a few drinks, she was definitely very Alice-like. The two of them hurried up to the stage and immediately started flipping through the pages of the large, blue binder that held the list of songs the club had available for singing. By the time the other three of us joined them, Alice was pointing at a page in the book and telling the deejay, "This one."

"You got it, ladies. You're up next."

"Which song did you pick?" Emily asked.

Leah and Alice grinned at us. "_Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," _they replied together.

"That's perfect!" I said. It was, too; a little cliche, perhaps, but perfect for us. Cyndi Lauper's classic was a brilliant choice for tonight. What better song for a girls' night out than that one?

The guy before us finished to moderate applause and vacated the stage. We walked on, and the music started almost instantly. Since we hadn't planned this in advance, we all just sang the entire song together. As we sang the final "Oh girls just want to have fu-un, they want to have fun, they want to have fun," the entire club burst into applause. It could have been my imagination, but I was pretty sure we'd gotten the loudest applause of any of the singers yet. There were even some whistles and shouts of "Come have fun with me, baby!" coming from the crowd. Under normal circumstances, that would cause me to practically go into hiding, but I had enough alcohol in my system to keep me loose. In fact, thanks to the drinks I'd consumed, the cheers had the opposite affect on me. This time, they empowered me, and I didn't even go back to the booth. I went back to the blue binder to pick a solo song.

I gave the deejay my choice and waited impatiently for the girl who took the stage after us to finish her rendition of Madonna's _Material Girl._

As the applause died down for the other girl, she vacated the stage and Alice and I took our spots, standing back to back. The music started and Alice took the first line. "Let's go girls," she purred into her microphone.

The fact that we'd never sung this song—or any song, actually, until tonight—together didn't seem to matter. It was as if we'd rehearsed for days. We somehow could instinctively know which lines she should sing and which ones I should. Alice sang the first verse:

_I'm going out tonight, I'm feeling alright_

_Gonna let it all hang out_

_Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice,_

_Yeah, I wanna scream and shout_

We moved together while she sang, practically grinding against each other. I sang the next verse, feeling more confident than I had in years, and when we got to the chorus, we belted the words out together.

_Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady,_

_Men's shirts, short skirts_

_Oh, oh, oh, really go wild, yeah, doin' it in style_

_Oh, oh, oh, get in the action, feel the attraction_

_Color my hair, do what I dare_

_Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feel_

_Man! I feel like a woman_

We hadn't even finished the song yet, and the crowd was already going wild, which only served to further fuel my adrenaline and confidence. We danced and sang, playing off of each other perfectly, and when our voices rang through the bar on the final _Come, come, come on baby, I feel like a woman, _the cheering was beyond anything I'd ever heard before.

I put the microphone back in its stand and stumbled over to the stairs, drunk on liquor and adrenaline. I crashed into something—someone—solid at the bottom, and was instantly apologizing to whoever it was. To my surprise, rather than stepping aside, a pair of warm arms snaked around my waist. "Oh!" I gasped.

"You were so sexy up there."

I gasped again, recognizing Edward's voice. I lifted my chin, looking into the blazing green eyes I'd grown so accustomed to. "Really?" My voice was barely a whisper.

"Fuck, yes," he practically growled. "I'm so friggin' glad that Em wanted to come and keep an eye on Rose. God knows how many guys would have been trying to chat you up after that performance. Come dance with me. I want every fucker in this place to know you're my girl."

"Okay."

I had no idea whether the next song that came on was karaoke or the CD version; all I knew was that I was lost in Edward's eyes as we danced a slow, seductive dance. His words echoed in my mind, and I was struck by the possessiveness he'd shown. It wasn't at all the scary-possessiveness I'd experienced with James. This was primal, animalistic… hot.

I leaned into Edward's body and tried to focus on the song as the lyrics kicked in.

_I kept the right ones out_

_And let the wrong ones in_

_Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins_

_There were times in my life_

_When I was goin' insane_

_Tryin' to walk through the pain_

_When I lost my grip_

_And I hit the floor_

_Yeah, I thought I could leave, but couldn't get out the door_

_I was so sick and tired of living a lie_

_I was wishin' that I would die_

There was a lot there that felt like it was written about me, about my life. I'd definitely let 'the wrong ones' into my life, and it had changed the entire course of my life. Now, I had an angel in Edward. He helped me move through some of the pain—in my case, it manifested in the form of insecurity. He was unendingly patient with me, though I repeatedly 'lost my grip' on the reality of the situation. I turned my head and buried my face into his shirt, breathing deeply and absorbing his scent, as the chorus began.

_It's amazing_

_With the blink of an eye, you finally see the light_

_It's amazing_

_When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright_

_It's amazing_

_And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight_

With those words, something clicked in me. 'With the blink of an eye, you finally see the light… When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright.' I wasn't sure exactly what happened, but it was as if the song was speaking directly to me. There was no warning, no alarm to let me know what was happening. Yet somehow, I knew exactly what was happening. Though I'd never _really _felt it before, I knew that I was in love. I was in love with Edward Cullen.

**A/N**

**Okay guys now for that little treat we promised you. Rather than make you wait until the end of the story for the outtakes we've decided to post the Tsunami outtake on our blog now. So if you didn't take part in the fundraiser you can head on over and enjoy E and B's sexy weekend away on his "Silver Dream Machine." (Link is on our profile.)**

**Now that as got to be worth some reviews eh? Two chapters for the price of one. You have to love us now right? **

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**Remember reviews are better than a sexy leather clad Edward whisking you off on the back of his motor bike... UNF. Who am I frickin' kidding nothing is better than that but reviews do make us extremely happy and happy authors write faster. lol**

**Thanks for reading :)**


	21. No Apologies

**So very sorry that this has taken so long to reach you. I'm not going to make excuses and go into lengthy explanations as to why we haven't updated in so long. Instead I'm going to cut straight to the chase and thank you all for reading and reviewing our little fic. Thanks to Artemis Leaena for the rec. If you're not reading her fic ****Birthdays, Bars, & Bathrooms** **then go do so right now. Well, after you've read this chapter of course, lol. It's got one of the best and hottest opening chapters I've ever read and I guarantee you'll be panting for more of this fantastic fic.**

**We don't own Twilight but I do own a copy of WFE on DVD, which wmr is extremely jealous of (I****'m not sure 'extremely' is a strong enough word! ~wmr1601)****. Lol I knew living in the UK would pay off one day.**

**Check out the A/N at the end for some more news. But for now over to Edward and his boys night out. **

**Bakergirl24, this ones for you honey, you'll know why ;P**

**Chapter 21 : No Apologies**

**EPOV**

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed as my eyes raked the letter that was clutched tightly in my right hand. My left hand swept up into my hair, clutching and tugging sharply on the messy strands as I crumpled the paper into a ball and hurdled it toward the waste paper basket in the lounge and hollered in frustration. "Fucking asshole!"

The nerve of Carlisle Cullen never ceased to fucking amaze me. Not only had the man declared his disapproval of my relationship with Bella and questioned my motives, but now he expected me to just fucking forget about it without a word of God damn apology. _Yeah right, like that's gonna frickin' happen! If he thinks for one second I'm going to ignore what he said to me - in front of Bella - and claim my trust fund like a good little boy, well, he's got another fucking thing coming. _You'd think he'd at least have the decency to apologize; but no. Not him. It wasn't his style. Carlisle Cullen never said 'sorry' because that would mean he had been wrong in the first place. And God-fucking-forbid that he was ever wrong.

I marveled at the sheer audacity of the man as I stalked angrily into the lounge and picked my cigarettes up off the coffee table. I paced the floor from my piano to the couch repeatedly as I lit one and tossed the packet back onto the table. I sighed loudly as I exhaled a cloud of smoke and wondered why I ever expected him to behave any differently. Nothing I'd done had _ever _been fucking good enough for my father, and it was about time I faced the fact that it never friggin' would be.

It was blatantly obvious the man would never change, and neither would his opinion of me. I was doomed to forever be a screw up, an embarrassment, a medical school drop out who apparently was shallow and heartless enough to string a woman along just to get his greedy hands on a million dollar trust fund. In his eyes I was an unscrupulous, womanizing, man-whore and that's all I'd ever be. _Well, fuck him. Who gives a shit what Carlisle Cullen thinks anyway? _

Evidently I did.

"Not any fucking more, I don't," I declared loudly as I ceased my pacing and flopped onto the couch leaning forward to grind my cigarette butt into the empty ashtray_. I'm done trying to please him. Once and for fucking all! I'm not going to let him ruin this for me. For the first time in my life I'm fucking happy, really and truly happy. Not just okay; over the frickin' moon happy and content with my life. And if he can't see that and realize that I've changed then, well, that's tough fucking shit. I'm not any of the things he thinks I am and I don't need his fucking approval to validate my existence. Not anymore. I've got my Bella and she's all that matters. As long as she knows the real me, and accepts me for who I am, I couldn't care less what that condescending prick thinks._

With my mind firmly made up, I got up off the couch and made my way over to the waste paper basket, picked up the solicitor's letter and tossed it in. There was no way in hell I was going to make an appointment to have my trust fund released and transferred into my bank account. It would be like admitting Carlisle was right all along, and I simply wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking that for a second. If he couldn't bring himself to apologize and admit he was wrong then there was no way I was touching a God damn penny of that money. Resolution made, I turned and headed for the bedroom to get ready for my night out.

I'd showered, dressed in a pair of black jeans, and was just pulling on my favorite dark gray button down shirt when Bella burst through the door of my apartment like a whirlwind.

"E, baby, I hope you're done with the bathroom because I have to be ready to leave in thirty minutes or Alice will tan my ass," she called as she made her way through the lounge and into the bedroom. I chuckled to myself at her nickname for me, which she'd picked up off Alice. Normally, I hated having my name shortened, and it drove me crazy that Alice insisted on calling me E, but when Bella said it I didn't mind. In fact, I kind of liked it, especially when she teamed it with baby. _Jeez, Cullen, you're such a pussy. _I rolled my eyes at myself and began rolling up my shirt sleeves.

"Yep, I'm all done. I showered early knowing you'd be in a rush," I answered with a smile as she came toward me and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Mmm, you smell good," she whispered as her lips brushed mine gently and her arms wound their way around my neck, her hands going straight up into my hair.

"Thanks, you taste good. Fucking delicious in fact," I replied before capturing her lips fully and deepening the kiss. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her flush against body. All my earlier anger and frustration at Carlisle and his non-apology were completely forgotten as I held her in my arms and felt the tension seep out of my body for the first time since I opened that damn letter. This was all I cared about, this beautiful woman in my arms. As long as she was happy then all was right with my world.

"Edward," she sighed, breaking the kiss and reluctantly pulling from my embrace, "I've got to hurry."

"Yep, you better move your ass, B, before Alice comes after you. Her slaps sting like fuck. And we wouldn't want your beautiful ass all red, now would we?"

"Nope, we sure wouldn't." Bella giggled as she turned to head for the bathroom.

"Besides, if anyone's gonna tan that sexy ass of yours," I said giving her behind a playful but firm whack as she walked away, "it's gonna be me!"

Bella squealed in surprise and ran into the bathroom quickly closing the door behind her.

I finished getting dressed and went into the kitchen to reheat the leftover pizza from last night. I was sitting on a bar stool tucking into my food when Bella appeared twenty minutes later looking as sexy as hell in a pair of skinny jeans and small blue clingy top. Her hair was loose, chestnut curls cascading down her back and framing her beautiful face. "Down boy," I mumbled around a mouthful of pizza, not so discreetly adjusting my ever eager and rapidly hardening cock.

"I take it you approve?" Bella asked, blushing and giggling at my predicament as she eyed the very obvious bulge in my pants.

"Fuck, yes, baby. You look hot." Bella came over to the counter and I opened my legs, pulling her to stand between my knees. I picked up a slice of pizza and held it out to her. "Here you go."

"I don't have time to eat. I've got to run; Emmett will be here to pick us up in a few minutes. And you know how impatient he and Alice are."

"Yes I do, but you need to eat something. You can't go out drinking on an empty stomach, Bella."

"I'll be okay, Edward. I had a very late lunch and I can always grab a burger or something at the club. Rose says that the food there is really good."

I raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "Humor me please, sweetheart," I said holding the slice of pizza up to her lips. "I'd feel much better if I know you've eaten something. You don't want to be throwing up all night and ruining your night out by getting too drunk. Besides I know what you get like when you're drunk. We can't have you molesting every guy in the place, can we, Frisky?"

Bella's jaw dropped open in shock at my words and I took advantage of the opportunity to shove the slice of pizza between her lips. She glared at me ruefully and took a bite. I grinned up at her innocently as she chewed and shook her head at me.

"First of all," she said, once she'd swallowed the food, "I'm a big girl and know when I need to eat. And secondly, the only man I'll be molesting tonight..." she grabbed the open collar of my shirt and pulled me roughly toward her "...is you when I get home." With that stated, she crashed her lips to mine, thrust her tongue hungrily into my mouth and kissed me passionately.

"You promise?" I panted eagerly when she broke the kiss, silently wishing it was time for her to get home already.

"You can count on it, handsome," she assured me before taking another quick bite of the pizza I was still holding and planting a quick peck on my swollen lips.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, baby," I called after her as she headed for the door. "Have a great time, sweetheart, and be safe."

"I will, and you, too." She stepped out into the hallway and started to close the door. "Oh and E, baby," she said her head poking back through the semi-open doorway, "thanks for caring about me."

"No problem," I hollered as she closed the door, then added to myself, "like I have a choice, baby." And I knew I didn't; I cared deeply about Bella Swan and I was just beginning to realize exactly how much.

-x-

Less than an hour later, Emmett and I sauntered through the door of Riley's and headed for the pool tables in the back. Jasper was there waiting for us, a game already racked and a round of beers sitting on the table. "About fucking time," he called to us, getting up from the bench seat he'd been lounging on and grabbing one of the cues that were leaning against the table. "I had to fight a group of college boys to keep this table. What's up? Did you have to wait for Edward to do his hair again?"

"Fuck you, Whitlock," I replied, jabbing him playfully in the ribs. "You couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag"

"Is that right, Cullen?" Jazz quickly elbowed me in the gut and grabbed me in a head lock. "I can take your ass any day."

"Not before I kick yours," I growled, wriggling out of his grasp and twisting his arm up behind his back.

"Will you two pussies behave and keep what you what to do to each other's asses private please?" Emmett grabbed us both by our ears and twisted. I quickly let go of Jazz and pushed him away from me before Em could pull us apart. "Okay, ladies," Emmett chuckled, giving one final twist to both our ears before letting go. "Now unless you two need to go fix your make up, let's shoot some pool. There's beer to be drunk and money to be won. And I'm thirsty and feeling lucky."

"You're always thirsty, but rarely lucky Em. You really think you're gonna beat either of us this time? You know you're going home broke like you always do. Don't worry; I'll buy you a beer out of my winnings when I thrash Edward." Jazz walked over to the pool table, rubbing his red right ear, and removed the rack from around the balls.

"You fucking wish, Whitlock. I'm gonna make me some room in my wallet for your pay check, my friend," I joked as I took a swig of my beer and grabbed a cue. "I'll even let you break, give you a fighting chance."

"Still as cocky as ever I see, little bro. Well, that'll change when I send you back to Bella with a capital L for loser tattooed across your pretty face."

"In your dreams, Em, in your dreams." I smirked at him and watched as Jazz smacked the cue ball hard and battle commenced.

The friendly banter continued and the beer flowed as we played five games of winner stays on for twenty bucks a game before we called it quits. Or should I say Emmett lost sixty bucks and declared himself out of funds for gambling with. I'd won the most money, having only lost one game to Jasper, so it was me who was buying the beers and shots for the next few rounds.

I slid into the booth next to Jazz when I returned from the bar with a tray laden with alcohol. We chatted and bantered good naturedly with each other just like old times. It had really been too long since I'd been out with these two, and I suddenly realized how much I'd missed my big brother. If there was one good thing to come out of my disastrous birthday dinner it was us reconciling our differences.

The time flew by, and before we knew it the place was packed and the group that was playing were starting their second set. Jazz had been a little quiet for the past half hour, and I wondered if there was something bothering him. I didn't worry too much though, as I knew if there was anything on his mind, he'd tell me about it when he was ready to. It was just the way he was, and asking him what was wrong before he wanted to talk about it wouldn't do me any good. He'd just shrug and grin like a moron and tell me everything was "Fine and dandy" in that annoyingly exaggerated southern drawl he used when he wanted to convince me of something. Still, the thoughtful expression on his face and his fidgeting had me considering saying something to him anyway. I was just about to ask if he was okay when Emmett suggested it was time to leave and go find our girls.

"Er, I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Em. I don't want Bella thinking I'm checking up on her."

"Oh, come on, Edward. Bella won't mind you turning up at the club and you can always blame it on me," Emmett cajoled.

"I'm serious, Em. It's the first time she's gone out without me since we started dating, and she even asked my permission to go in the first place. Can you believe that shit? I don't want her thinking I don't trust her or that she can't go out and have fun without me."

"Listen, Edward. I'll explain things to Bella. You know I've got to go to check on Rosie. You know full well how she gets when she's had a few to drink and I don't want to have to bail her out again tonight." I knew exactly how Rosalie got when she'd had a drink; I'd had to bail her out myself once after she decked some guy in a club who'd started grinding against her on the dance floor. Hell, she'd broken Emmett's nose the first night they'd met because he'd pinched her ass. Needless to say, Emmett didn't hold it against her - and insisted on chasing after her for months until she'd agreed to go out on a date with him - declaring that he loved a woman with spunk.

"Alright," I sighed. "But we keep an eye on them from a safe distance. I don't want Bella to even know I'm there, got it? And if we do get spotted it was all your idea. I mean it Em, low profile, okay?"

"Deal," Emmett responded, getting out of his seat and quickly draining an almost full bottle of beer. "Low profile, no problem. Grab a cab and I'll meet you out front. I'm just gonna remind Felix that I'll pick the SUV up in the morning. You're sure she'll be safe out the back here over night?"

"Relax Em, it'll be fine. Edward's left his car here loads of times," Jazz answered patting him reassuringly on his shoulder. "And nothing's ever happened to it."

"I'm not surprised. Who would want to steal a fucking Volvo? You don't get many soccer moms out jacking cars."

"Ha fucking ha," I replied, scooped up my jacket, and headed for the exit.

-x-

Karaoke was in full swing, and some blonde was on stage murdering Madonna's _Material Girl_ as we made our way through the crowded club to the bar. Emmett ordered the drinks while Jazz went to see if he could spot the girls. When he returned, he informed us they had taken up residence in a booth on the other side of the dance floor. We grabbed our beers and were about to head off and find a vantage point where we could keep an eye on Rose without being spotted when a familiar voice filtered out of the sound system.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I turned and saw Bella up on stage with my sister. _Holy fuck! _I couldn't believe what I was seeing as I watched my girl grinding up against Alice and singing her sexy little heart out. Bella's body wiggled in time to the music and she fucking purred into the microphone in a sultry, sexy voice that made my cock throb and my mouth go dry. I almost came on the spot when she held her hair up before letting it drop as she shimmied all the way to the floor and back up again singing "Man, I feel like a woman."

"Fucking hell, Edward. Bella's got some hot moves, bro," Emmett said from beside me. "Whitlock, shut your mouth, dude, that's my sister and his girlfriend you're ogling."

"Yeah, eyes elsewhere Jazz," I practically fucking growled.

"You might want to tell that to those guys too, Edward." Jasper pointed to a group of guys by the bar who were eye fucking the girls like they were starving dogs and Alice and Bella were rump steak. Not that I could really blame them. That was one sexy show those two were putting on.

I made my way closer to the stage as the girls neared the end of their song. Jazz and Em trailed through the crowd with me. "What happened to keeping your distance, Edward?" Emmett yelled over the music.

"Fuck that, I'm going to claim my girl before one of these fuck wits gets any ideas." I continued to push my way to the front of the stage, eyes transfixed on Bella. She looked fucking amazing up there. So sexy and confident and obviously having a wail of a time. I was so fucking proud of her and had to tell her how great she looked. How fucking beautiful she was.

Just as I reached the steps at the side of the stage, Alice came bounding down them and ran over to Em and Jazz. Bella stumbled her way down the stairs and crashed right into my chest. "Sorry, sorry," she mumbled into the front of my shirt and then gasped "Oh" as I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her tight against my body.

"You were so sexy up there," I said, and Bella gasped again, obviously recognizing my voice. She lifted her chin from my chest and gazed up into my eyes. I stared into her chocolate pools which were twinkling and sparkling with happiness and surprise.

"Really?" she asked, wide-eyed and slightly breathless, her voice barely a whisper.

"Fuck, yes," I practically growled. "I'm so friggin' glad that Em wanted to come and keep an eye on Rose. God knows how many guys would have been trying to chat you up after that performance. Come dance with me. I want every fucker in this place to know you're my girl."

"Okay," she replied simply, her eyes still locked on mine as I pulled her onto the dance the floor.

She leaned into my body and I smiled down at her as the sound of Steven Tyler's voice filled the club.

_I kept the right ones out_

_And let the wrong ones in_

_Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins_

_There were times in my life_

_When I was goin' insane_

_Tryin' to walk through the pain_

_When I lost my grip_

_And I hit the floor_

_Yeah, I thought I could leave, but couldn't get out the door_

_I was so sick and tired of living a lie_

_I was wishin' that I would die_

I held Bella tightly in my arms, our bodies swaying in time to the classic Aerosmith track. I lost myself in the lyrics as Bella turned her head and pressed her cheek tightly against my chest. I dropped my face into her hair and breathed in her mouth watering scent.

_It's amazing_

_With the blink of an eye, you finally see the light_

_It's amazing_

_When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright_

_It's amazing_

_And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight_

The song suited the moment perfectly; the lyrics could have been written about us. It was fucking_ amazing_; in the blink of an eye I'd seen the light and stopped acting like an arrogant asshole and had allowed someone in. I'd taken a chance and dropped the façade; left my lonely, miserable existence behind me. And I didn't regret it for a second. It was truly fucking amazing. _She _was amazing.

As the song came to a close, I pulled back tilting Bella's face up to mine. "You're fucking amazing baby," I whispered against her lips as I captured her mouth in a tender kiss.

We stared into each other's eyes, lost in the moment, caught in our own little bubble. Bella opened her mouth to speak just as Alice bounded up to us and declared that I had to give Bella back before Leah blew a gasket.

I released her from my arms and allowed Alice to pull a reluctant Bella away from me. Bella grabbed my hand and immediately protested. "Hang on a second, Alice. I'm dancing with my handsome boyfriend, and I'm not coming back without him."

"Okay, but it's on your head. Leah's not impressed that the guys are here. Emmett and Jazz are explaining why they're here to her now."

Alice dragged us both off the dance floor and over to the girls' table. "You're not staying," Leah declared resolutely to Emmett as we approached. "This is a girls' night out, and you three are definitely _not _female."

"How about if we pay for all your drinks for the rest of the evening and sit at the bar over there," Emmett suggested, pointing across the dance floor to where there were several empty bar stools. "You won't even know we're here. Right, Edward?"

"Absolutely," I replied flashing her my best crooked smile. "We're not here to spoil your fun, honestly. In fact we'll agree to anything if you just let us stay and keep an eye on Rose."

Leah thought for a moment before responding. "You'll buy the drinks, sit over there, and agree to anything we want?"

"Yes," all three of us guys replied nodding our heads.

"Oh, well, in that case. Let's have a little fun with them, shall we girls?" Leah turned to the group of women with an evil glint in her eye. "There's only one thing to do with three hunky guys like these. Body shots!"

Leah yelled the last part and the girls screamed their approval. "Hell, no," Bella replied adamantly. "No one's licking anything off this body." She wrapped her arms around me protectively and glared at Leah.

"Oh, yes they are, Swan." Leah returned Bella's glare full force, her hands perched defiantly on her hips. "You are!"

"Relax, Bella, no one will touch Eddie's goodies, or my Emmie's, but us," Rosalie reassured her. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"Yeah, do it, Bella. You were awesome at body shots back in college," Emily announced excitedly.

Bella looked around at her friends and bit her lip before looking up at me questioningly. I smiled at her and winked, silently letting her know that if she wanted to do this I was game. "Oh, what the hell, I'm in," Bella declared to the group of excited girls. "I'll never hear the end of it if I don't."

"Jasper, get the shots in. Girls, get your men shirtless," Leah ordered.

Bella turned to me and kissed my lips softly before slowly unbuttoning my shirt. Rosalie on the other hand screamed "Fuck, yes," and lunged at Emmett tearing his shirt open, sending buttons flying in all directions.

"Steady on, Rosie." Emmett chuckled as Rose pulled his arms free and pushed him back onto one side of the bench seat of the booth.

Bella led me to the other side of the booth and pushed down gently on my shoulders. I allowed her to seat me on the bench, the table on my left hand side and the expanse of seating behind me. Bella crouched down between my legs and slowly slipped my shirt from my shoulders. Once the shirt was removed she carefully folded it up and pushed me back, quickly straddling my hips and placing the shirt behind my head. Jazz returned with a tray of tequila filled shot glasses, lemon and lime wedges, and a salt shaker.

"Are you sure about this, baby?" I asked, not wanting my girl to get bullied into anything by the others. Her eyes locked with mine for a second before roaming hungrily across my chest.

"Hell, yes," she practically moaned and licked her lips. _Fuck me. That was hot._

Without another moment's hesitation, Bella bent her head and licked a scorching trail up the center of my torso then quickly grabbed the salt and drizzled it along the wet patch she'd just created. She placed a lime wedge in her mouth and leaned forward again, pressing it rind first against my lips. I obediently parted them for her and took the wedge from between her lips, gripping it gently between my teeth. "Lift your head a little for me, baby," Bella instructed. I again complied, feeling my cock harden as she shifted her body a little when she reached for a shot glass. Bella carefully poured the liquid into the hollow at the base of my throat and stared lustfully into my eyes.

The girls chanted "Go, Bella, go Bella," as she dipped her head and licked the salt from my chest. Her hot little tongued blazed a trail of fire up my bare torso from my navel to my throat, where she greedily slurped up the alcohol and feasted on my flesh making sure she sucked up every last drop of the fiery liquid. Her tongue then continued on its journey up over my Adam's apple, slithering its way up to my chin. She nipped playfully at my jaw before crashing her lips to mine and sucking fiercely on the lime wedge.

_Holy fuck! _I involuntarily thrust my hips against her as my hands grabbed her ass, holding her firmly in place. Bella pulled her lips from mine and I turned and spat the wedge out of my mouth before crashing my lips back up to hers. I kissed her forcefully and plunged my tongue into her mouth, tasting the fiery burn of the tequila on her tongue.

All coherent thought had left my brain the moment her tongued had danced its way up my chest, and it took a minute before I remembered where we were and reluctantly broke the kiss. "Fuck," I panted as Bella giggled and, pulling me with her, sat back up still straddling my hips.

"You liked?" Bella asked raising one eyebrow at me provocatively.

"Oh, I liked, baby, that's for sure. Only problem is, now I'm going to have to hunt down every guy you did that to in college and kill them."

"Oh, Edward, don't be silly. You're the only one I ever enjoyed doing it to, and if you're good, I'll do it again when we get home." With that she planted a quick kiss on my lips and climbed off my lap. I grabbed my shirt from behind me and using it cover the tent I was pitching, declared I needed to go for a smoke after that. I rose from the booth and made my way outside to get some air, leaving a rather flushed looking Bella laughing her ass off behind me.

I pushed open the doors that led to a narrow alleyway at the back of the club. It was one of three smoking areas and had no access to the street. It wasn't used as much as the other two areas because it had no canopy, therefore it was a great place to grab a quiet smoke or to bring a girl for a little privacy - unless it was raining, of course. I leaned against the wall at the side of the door and pulled my cigarettes from my jacket pocket. I was about to light up when I heard Jasper's voice coming from a little farther down the alley. I could just make out Jazz's tall frame in the dim light hovering over a smaller figure in a doorway.

"Just wait 'til I get you home, baby," Jazz drawled in his southern accent, obviously putting the moves on some woman. The sly fucker, not only had he managed to escape the body shot torture, but he'd also managed to find himself some company for the evening. Jeez he was quick, I hadn't even noticed his absence from the group. Then again, I was somewhat distracted at the time.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" a tinkling female voice replied.

_Just a fucking minute. I recogni__z__e that voice. Alice?_

Just then the unmistakable sound of my sister's giggle filled the air.

_That fucker's putting the moves on my fucking baby sister._

I pushed off the wall and launched my body down that alley, intent on ripping Jasper fucking Whitlock to pieces.

As I reached the doorway, I grabbed Jasper by the scruff of the neck and flung him against the opposite wall, quickly pinning him by the throat with my left arm. Alice screamed as I pulled back my fist and thrust it as hard as I could, aiming for the traitorous fuckers nose. Fortunately for Jazz, he somehow manage to turn his face to the side and my blow glanced off his cheekbone.

"You fucker," I screamed in his face, pulling my fist back for another shot just as Alice grabbed a hold of my bicep, digging her nails deep into my flesh and begging me to stop. "That's my baby sister you're fucking with, you asshole." I tried to shake Alice loose, but she clung on to my arm for dear life.

"Don't you dare hit him again, Edward Cullen, or I'll never speak to you as long as I live."

"Edward, it's not what you think. Let me explain please," Jasper begged, his voice a strangled rasp from the pressure I was exerting on his throat.

"Explain? What is there to fucking explain, you piece of shit? I fucking heard you putting the moves on her," I spat, still trying to get my arm free of Alice's freakishly strong grip. "My fucking sister, Jazz. I friggin' warned you not to fuck around with my sister."

"I'm not fucking around with her, Edward. Honestly. This isn't what it looks like. She's my girlfriend, dude."

_Hold up a fucking minute. What did that slime ball say?_

"What the fuck?" I yelled, looking from him to my sister in confusion.

"Listen to him please, Edward, he's telling the truth."

"What the hell?" Bella shouted as she came running down the alley and stopped next to Alice. "Edward, what's going on?"

"She's my girlfriend," Jasper repeated. "I wouldn't fuck around with your sister, Edward." I dropped my fist as his words registered and released my grip on his throat. My eyes immediately flashed to Alice, who was still holding onto my arm tightly, unsure of whether I was done punching Jazz or if I was bluffing. "I wouldn't do that to you or her. I fucking love her dude."

"You what?" I snapped.

"You do?" Alice asked, releasing her grip on my arm and stepping in between me and Jasper.

"Yeah, Alice, I do." Alice pushed my arm, which was still pinning Jasper to the wall, forcefully out of the way and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you too, Jazz," she whispered as I stood there watching the two of them in utter fucking amazement.

"Will someone tell me what the bloody hell is going on?" Bella asked as she moved to my side and slipped her arm around my waist.

I looked down at my girl and shrugged. "I was just about to ask the exact same fucking question. From the looks of things, Jazz has been fucking my sister, and neither of them had the decency to tell me."

All of a sudden things started to make sense. Jasper's absences and vague excuses. Alice not calling me and always being too busy for lunch and acting distant. It was blatantly fucking obvious that these two had been sneaking around for weeks. My best friend and my baby fucking sister. The two people I'd always trusted most in this world had been fucking lying to me for weeks.

I had nothing to say to them; hell, right now I didn't even fucking want to see either of them.

"I'm sorry, Edward. We should have told you. We wanted to tell you but just never found the right moment." Alice's apology, while sincere, was a bit fucking late and I didn't want to hear her excuses.

"Yeah, you should have, but you didn't say a fucking word, either of you." I shook my head at them and turned to leave. "Come on, baby, let's go home."

I pulled Bella into my arms and walked back into the club, ignoring Alice's pleas for me to wait and sobbed apologies.

**A/N **

**Our blog (wmrcaz . blogspot . com) has been a little neglected lately but now we're back on track, we aim to remedy that asap. Bella's interview will be posted on there this weekend and we'll also be announcing the winner of our caption contest. So if you haven't entered yet be quick and do so to be in with a chance of getting your choice of EPOV out take written. Also if you have a favorite fic you would like rec'd or want to write a review then let us know. Just include in your review or PM us and we'll check it out.**

**I also want to congratulate wmr on her win in the Emerging Swan Awards. Her story Music of the Heart won best drama/angst. If you haven't checked it out yet go do so, you won't regret it.**

**Remember reviews make for happy authors but are no where near as good as doing body shots off Edward. Nothing would be better than that.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	22. Absolution

**Hi everyone, thanks for all your wonderful reviews and for continuing to read our little fic. Welcome to all our new readers, thanks for reading and adding us to your favourites and for putting SH on alert.**

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**Okay over to Bella. See ya at the bottom.**

**Chapter 22: Absolution**

**BPOV**

I felt a little bad leaving Alice while she was obviously trying to apologize, but in this case, I had to side with Edward. Not only was I planning to share his bed tonight, and therefore didn't want him to be mad at me, but I agreed with him. I could almost understand Alice and Jasper wanting to keep their relationship private, but they went beyond private and into secret. The line was fine, but it existed, and they'd crossed it. Or hadn't crossed it, depending on how you looked at it. I got the feeling they didn't hide it from everyone, only from Edward and anyone in his immediate circle who might spill the beans—primarily _me._

The minute we reentered the club, Edward stopped and turned toward me, holding me close. "I don't mean to pull you away from your night out. _I _sure as hell won't stay here after what just happened out there," he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder toward the door we'd just come in through, "but you can if you want to."

"What? No, of course I want to stay with you." I looked up into his eyes so that he could see my sincerity. He needed me way more right now than Emily, Leah, and Rosalie did. Truth be told, in all the hubbub of the last seven minutes, I'd forgotten that I was here with the girls and not him.

He nodded minutely, and I could see the gratefulness in his eyes. I wanted to think that he was hurt more than angry, but he wasn't there yet. Right now, he was just pissed off, and I knew that I needed to get him out of the bar before Alice—or worse, Jasper—came in.

"Come on, let's go," I murmured, stretching up on my toes to give him a kiss.

"Don't you have a purse or a jacket or something?" he asked when we separated. He was looking me up and down.

"No jacket because it's the middle of July, and no purse. I just stuck my phone and my wallet in my pocket tonight."

"Great. Let's get the fuck out of here then." With his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist, we made our way out of the club.

He hailed the first cab he saw once we were out on the street, and gave the driver his address. Before we'd even pulled away from the curb, Edward's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID, and a disgusted expression came over his face; he pressed a button and shoved the phone back into his pocket. I knew enough of his current mood not to ask him about it; besides, I was pretty sure I knew who it was.

I held his hand in mine, caressing the back of his hand. He flinched when my fingers trailed over the knuckles. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He sighed. "It's not your fault. It's fucking Jasper's fault. If he hadn't been screwing around with my sister, I wouldn't have hit him, and if I hadn't hit him, my hand wouldn't be bruised. Although, I am a little surprised that it's tender considering I only got one good hit in before Alice freaked out and started hanging on my arm like a little kid."

I didn't reply except to lift his hand to my mouth and gently brush my lips over his battered flesh.

"Come here." He moved his hand out of mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I scooted closer to him in the back seat of the cab, and he leaned down to kiss me. The kiss deepened quickly, his tongue invading my mouth like he was a man lost in the desert and I was the oasis.

I lost myself in him, completely forgetting where we were until a gruff "Ahem" interrupted us. I blushed, suddenly remembering that we were in the back seat of the cab still.

Edward pulled away from me, reached into his pocket to retrieve his wallet, and tossed two twenties over the front seat. "Keep the change," he told the cabbie, then quickly opened the door and climbed out, pulling me with him. He pushed the door shut with his foot and led me up to the door.

Our footsteps felt unnaturally loud as we climbed the stairs. I wasn't sure if that was because they were or if it was because I'd had too much to drink. Honestly, I hadn't felt the effects of the alcohol until we were climbing those stairs. All the drama finally caught up with me, and it was suddenly too much to take.

Edward's phone chimed from within his pocket. This was a different sound from the ringing earlier. He ignored it, but less than two steps later, it chimed again. "Hold on, baby," he told me, looking annoyed. I leaned against the banister while he pulled the phone out. While he was holding it, apparently reading a text message, it went off again. "Fucking Jazz and Alice," he grumbled. "If I wanted to talk to you, I would!" He was obviously still angry. When it went off yet again in his hand—another phone call this time, not a text—I was afraid he was going to lose it. A look of pure loathing crossed his features, but he smoothed it out again quickly, hit a key that silenced the ringer, and held another one down for several seconds. The screen went black. "There. Try to call me now." He sounded smug.

We continued up the stairs, and Edward unlocked and opened the door. When we were inside, he roughly pushed it shut and dropped my hand, making his way over to the couch. I followed him tentatively, vaguely remembering the promise I'd made him earlier, as soon as I'd finished the body shots—_I'll do it again when we get home. _I frowned, wondering again how things had changed so drastically in less than an hour. _Has it really been such a short time? _I pulled my own cell phone out of my pocket to check the time and was met with half a dozen texts.

**Tell Edward I'm sorry. ~Alice**

**Where the hell did you go? Did you ditch us for him without even a goodbye? ~Leah**

**Jazz is sorry too. Please have Edward call me. ~Alice**

**Body shots rock! ~Rosalie**

**Bella, please tell him. I know he's mad, but he's my brother and he's ignoring me. I hate it. ~Alice**

**Are you ignoring me too? ~Alice**

I could practically hear the tears in Alice's pleading messages. I stopped halfway to the couch—Edward was already flopped out there—and sent two messages of my own. The first was to Leah, apologizing for my abrupt exit. I didn't tell her any of the details, only that Edward needed me. The second was to Alice.

**I'm not ignoring you, but I don't think E's wrong in this case. I'll call you tomorrow. ~Bella**

I didn't feel the need to reply to Rose's drunken text. I set my phone on the dining table on my way past as I walked over to the couch to join Edward. I wasn't sure what to say once I got there. 'Are you okay' was all I could come up with, but I knew that was a ridiculous question; of course he wasn't okay. Since there was nothing that I thought would be appropriate to say, I just cuddled up with him and didn't say anything at all.

The next thing I knew, my closed eyes were squinting against the bright light of the sun streaming through Edward's oversized windows. I opened my eyes minutely and immediately shut them again. It was _bright. _I processed my surroundings as best as I could with closed eyes. I vaguely recalled the night before, but didn't remember the specifics. I could feel Edward's hard body beneath mine, which didn't make sense; when we shared a bed, I slept next to him, not on top of him. I could feel the steady in-and-out of his breaths, so I knew he was still asleep. I stretched experimentally, and groaned when I realized that I'd fallen asleep in my jeans. My legs were stiff and grimy feeling. _Disgusting. _That one word brought back a plethora of memories from the night before, starting with the look on Edward's face at the phone call he'd received. The memories flicked through my mind at a surprising rate from there.

_Edward holding Jasper up by the throat, his other hand poised to punch._

_Alice gripping Edward's bicep tightly._

_My pleas of 'what's going on here?'_

_Edward's angry reply: "Jazz has been fucking my sister, and neither of them had the decency to tell me."_

_Alice's desperate attempts at an apology._

_Edward's unwillingness to listen._

_The phone calls and text messages on Edward's phone._

_The texts on mine._

_Falling asleep with Edward on the couch in his apartment._

I climbed gingerly off of him, being careful not to wake him. I wanted to see the messages folder on my phone again, just to confirm that my memory wasn't playing tricks on me. I desperately hoped that it was, but I didn't hold out much hope.

There were two new messages, both of which had come in over ten hours earlier; they must have hit right after I set the silenced phone on the table and come to cuddle with Edward. And both confirmed my unpleasant memories.

**It better be a fucking fabulous excuse, Bella. Call me. ~Leah**

**I know he's right to be upset, but try to make him see things from our pov. Would it have been better if he'd known in advance? ~Alice**

Alice's message actually made me angry. How could she possibly think that Edward finding out this way was better than her telling him the truth? Hiding the truth from the one person you claim to love and respect more than anyone else just didn't make sense; I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

_What about Charlie?_

The thought came out of nowhere, and it made me stop suddenly. I'd been pacing the floor back and forth between the piano and the couch, and when I thought of my father, however involuntarily it had been, I couldn't seem to remember how to make my feet move. If Charlie found out about me and Edward the same way Edward had found out about Alice and Jasper… well, that wasn't a thought I wanted to entertain. But if he did, I'd want him to understand my motivations for not telling him, and I'd want him to forgive me.

"What're you doing?" Edward asked - propping himself up on one elbow to look over the back of the couch - his voice scratchy from sleep.

I swallowed hard, trying to come up with some way to express the thought process I'd just gone through. I couldn't. "Er, nothing, just going to make breakfast. What do you feel like?"

"Something greasy," he mumbled, flopping back on the couch.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face at that; I recognized the request as Edward's hangover remedy. Pushing aside thoughts of Charlie, Alice, and Jasper, I made my way to Edward's lavish kitchen and started a pot of coffee before opening the refrigerator to look for something that fit his request. I found some bacon that wasn't opened yet, so I put all of it into a pan. When it was crispy, and the pan held a good amount of fat, I pulled it out and piled it onto a stack of paper towels to drain. Whether Edward wanted greasy or not, there were some lines I just wasn't willing to cross, and undrained bacon was one of them. I used the bacon grease instead of butter to fry some eggs, hoping it would be enough to counteract the paper towels. The eggs cooked quickly since the pan was already hot, so within about three minutes, I was plating them up. The coffee pot finished about the same time, so I filled two cups with the steaming liquid.

I approached the couch, setting the plates and coffee mugs on the table on my way by. Edward had his arm flung over his face to shield his eyes from the sun blazing in through the windows, but he looked awake. I leaned over the back of the sofa and planted a kiss on his mouth. He startled and moved his arm abruptly from his face. "Fuck," he mumbled, instantly regretting that action and lifting his hand back up.

I giggled. "Breakfast is ready. As greasy as I could make it."

"All right," he said eagerly, standing and stumbling over to the table, still keeping his eyes covered. Instead of going to the table with him, I made my way to the huge windows and lowered the blinds. I wasn't entirely sure why he'd left last night without closing them himself, but it was a moot point. The room was much more tolerable with the shades down; though I wasn't feeling 'hung over' myself, it still felt better to have it not be quite so bright.

With that task done, I went back to the table to join Edward. He'd already pulled a few bacon slices to his plate and was scarfing the food down. "I thought you were hung over," I said, sitting down next to him.

"Not so much hung over as still in shock over what went down last night."

"Ah," I replied. I knew that if I was going to make a case for Alice—_not for Alice, but for Edward to be the bigger man here, _I told myself—now was as good a time as any to do it, since he'd just brought it up. "So, er, are you going to talk to her anytime soon?" I poked the egg yolks with my fork, watching the yellow liquid seep out of them. Anything to avoid looking at Edward. This wouldn't be a popular question, but I knew that it had to be asked.

"Fuck no," he said. "What she did—what _they_ did—was downright shitty. I can't even imagine talking to either of them right now. I know I'll have to see them at family functions and whatnot, especially since they think they love each other now, but other than that? No, thanks."

_Charlie. It's no different than what you're doing to Charlie. _That little voice was really starting to irritate me. At least with the cheerleaders, I could appease them easily enough by ogling Edward's ass. But there was nothing I could do about the rational side of me making reminders. As if I needed another reminder, my phone—which I'd set on the table again when I went to cook breakfast—lit up just then. I grabbed it, and after a quick glance at the caller ID, made a snap decision to accept the call. "I'll be right back," I said to Edward, then quickly escaped to the landing just outside the door before pressing 'talk.' "Hi, Alice." I continued to make my way down the stairs, holding the phone against my ear and making my way outside to the sidewalk.

"Bella! Thank God. Did you get my messages?"

"Yeah, Alice, I did, and I gotta say, I still think it was pretty shitty what you did. It doesn't matter whose point of view it comes from, you should have just told the truth." _Charlie. _The voice in my head was starting to get singsongy.

"I know, Bella. But Edward means more to me than just about anyone else in the world, and even though I made a horrible decision, I need him to be okay with me and Jazz."

"I'm not sure that's going to happen, Ali."

She whimpered. "It has to. I don't want to have to pick between them."

She was killing me with all the correlations she was unknowingly making between her life currently and what mine would look like in another six weeks if I didn't come clean with my dad before I visited him for my birthday. "Let me talk to him. I'm not going to promise anything, but I'll do my best." I sighed.

"Thank you, Bella!"

"Yeah, right," I mumbled, closing my phone.

As soon as I was back inside the apartment, Edward looked up from his own phone; apparently he'd decided to turn it back on. "There must be fifty messages apiece from Alice and Jazz," he told me, "and another twenty from Emmett. I can't believe I forgot to tell him I was leaving."

"Yeah, I've had a few from Alice, too. In fact, that was her on the phone just now." I looked him in the eye, hoping my nervousness wasn't showing through.

"Oh." His voice was cold, and all thoughts of Emmett were forgotten.

"Um, she wants to talk to you."

"I know."

"So? What do you say?"

"No."

"Please, Edward?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I thought you were on my side here." He ran one hand through his already messy hair.

"I am, baby, but look… she suspected you were going to react this way, that's why she didn't tell you. It's the same reason you didn't tell your father about us."

A light dawned in his eyes at that declaration. "That's an interesting way to look at it. I never considered that."

"So you'll talk to them then?"

"No. I just never considered that point of view."

I plopped down in my chair, resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to win this debate. I had just one more tool in my arsenal, and I hated to pull it out, but I felt like I had to. I didn't want Edward and Alice fighting. "Please, baby? For me?" I actually batted my eyelashes at him like a schoolgirl; I felt really underhanded, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

He closed his eyes and ran one hand over the back of his neck. I smiled internally. I was going to win this one after all. "Why the hell do you care so much?"

"I just hate seeing you guys fight. You and Alice are practically best friends, and I hate seeing that getting flushed down the drain over this." It was a half truth; I did hate the idea of that. The other half of my reasoning wasn't important—yet.

"You know I can't say 'no' when you talk to me like that."

I grinned externally this time. His eyes were still closed. "Yes, I do," I replied.

"Fuck. Fine, get them over here." He didn't look happy about it, but at least he was willing to entertain the idea of beginning the forgiveness process.

-x-

I could tell that Alice desperately wanted to get this worked out, because she and Jasper arrived at Edward's place less than half an hour after I called her back to let her know that he'd agreed to a meeting. Edward and I had just finished washing the dishes together and were drying our hands on a clean dish towel from one of the drawers. I hurried over to answer the door before he could say something hurtful to his sister and best friend.

"Thank you so much, Bella," Alice said the second the door was open. "I owe you one. Or twenty."

Jasper looked worried; his face was bruised where I presumed Edward had struck him, and his eyes were darting all over the place, probably looking for Edward to make sure he wasn't going to get clobbered again.

Edward walked out from the kitchen then and nodded curtly to our guests. He didn't greet them verbally.

"So… er, should we move into the living room?" I asked tentatively. Since Edward obviously wasn't going to play host, I did.

Edward grunted noncommittally and walked over to the couch, plopping down on it without so much as a glance behind him to see if the rest of us had followed. We hadn't, but did quickly. I sat next to Edward, and Alice and Jasper sat on the loveseat. The tension in the room was thick, the silence deafening.

I don't know how long we all sat there without speaking, but it felt like hours. It was probably less than two minutes in reality. Finally, Alice broke the silence. "I know you're mad, Edward," she started.

He scoffed loudly.

"_But,_" she continued over his interruption, "you need to see things from our perspective. Imagine for a minute that Bella was Jazz's sister." Jasper and I looked at each other, then at Alice, in shock. Again, she kept going as if nothing had happened. "Would you have told him that you were seeing her? He knows you—the former you—just as well as you know him—the _former _him. You've changed your ways, and so has he. Can you appreciate that?"

We all waited with what felt like bated breath while he thought through what Alice had just said. Between her insistence that Jasper had changed just as surely as he had and my analogy comparing their situation to his and Carlisle's, he had a lot to think about. Everyone's eyes were on Edward as he contemplated. I could read his features, and knew that he was honestly thinking things over.

Finally he said, "You've really changed?" He looked directly at Jasper.

"So much, dude. If you'd told me six months ago that I'd be in love and in a monogamous relationship today, I'd have called you crazy. But here I am." He draped one arm around Alice's tiny shoulders. "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Edward tented his fingers in front of his face. It looked like he still _wanted _to be mad at them, but was out of excuses. He knew from personal experience that such a change was possible. I didn't think he was quite as advanced as Jasper—we weren't at the 'I love you' stage in our relationship yet—but I was confident that he was being monogamous. Just like Jasper had said, six months ago, Edward probably wouldn't have thought that he'd be in a relationship, either. It was amazing the kind of drastic change that could happen in a person in such a short time.

"So? What do you say?" Alice's voice was small.

"You really love this asshole?" he queried raising a skeptical brow at Alice and gesturing toward Jazz. Alice nodded her head vehemently. Edward sighed and shook his head slightly and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "fuck it" before looking Alice in the eye and saying his piece. "First of all, you shouldn't have fucking lied to me, either of you. I know I warned you both off, but fuck, am I_ that _unapproachable that one of you couldn't have come and talked to me? That's what's pissed me off the most - being fucking lied to. That and the fact I punched my best fucking friend in the face last night all because neither of you had the balls to stand up to me. But I guess I didn't really make it easy for you. So... as long as you're happy, Ali, then I'm happy for you. And as for you, Whitlock, hurt her and you're a fucking dead man. Oh, and for fuck's sake can one of you tell Emmett? Because it'll be more than just a pissy little bruise on Jazz's face if he finds out the same way I did."

It felt like a huge weight lifted from the room. Alice jumped up from the loveseat and hurried over to hug her brother. It looked like she had a death grip around his neck. I could hear murmurings coming from both of them, but I was careful not to eavesdrop, despite my close proximity. This was their moment, and I didn't want to intrude.

When they parted, both looked more content with the situation. My eyes darted back and forth between them, making sure that nothing was going to crop up and ruin things again. When it didn't—even after Alice rejoined Jasper and placed her hand on his thigh—I breathed a sigh of relief.

We ended up hanging out with Alice and Jasper all day, which was nice. We watched movies, played board games, and listened to Edward play piano - at Alice's insistence. We ordered lunch in and went out for dinner. Instead of coming back to Edward's place after dinner, Alice and Jasper went back to his place. Remarkably, Edward didn't give either of them a hard time about it.

When we got back to his place, he turned on some music and pulled me close to him, leading me in a slow dance. We held each other and swayed for three songs in a row before either of us said anything. "Are you really okay with Jazz and Alice being together?" I whispered.

He didn't answer right away, and I wondered if maybe he hadn't heard me. "I think I am," he finally said. "As has been pointed out to me numerous times over the past twenty-four hours, nobody believed I was capable of change, either. But I did. I can't say that something is real for me and not for Jazz."

I smiled into his chest.

-x-

I was awoken the next morning by the ringing of my cell phone. I'd turned it back up to use as an alarm, but it was too early for the alarm to have been going off. I groaned and rolled away from Edward reluctantly and grabbed my phone from the bedside table. I squinted at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number; it was local, though, so I hit the little green phone icon that would accept the call. "Hello?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Bella?"

"Angela!" I sat bolt upright, not even thinking about the fact that Edward was asleep right next to me.

"What's going on?" he muttered.

"Nothing, baby, go back to sleep," I told him, covering the mouthpiece of my phone with one hand.

"Okay," he agreed easily, rolling back over.

I quickly made my way out of the bedroom and shut the door quietly behind me so that I could talk to my old friend without disturbing him further. "Angela," I said again once I was out of the room, "how are you?"

"I'm okay, Bella, thanks. I just wanted to say hello."

"I'm glad you called. I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I miss you."

"I've missed you, too. I know I've said it before, but I really want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened, Bella. It wasn't your fault. I've been seeing a doctor, and she's helping me work through things, and I really am doing better."

"That's great, Ang. I'm glad to hear that." My voice betrayed my disbelief that she could possibly _not _blame me for her plight. If I'd never met James, Angela would still be whole.

Correctly identifying my tone, she said, "Honestly, Bella, I'm telling the truth. That's why I called. I know you still blame yourself, even though I never did. I don't want you to live your life in guilt."

"Thank you, Angela." I sounded oddly formal, even in my own ears. "I'm happy for you that you're getting the help you need and healing."

"Me, too. Life's too short to live it in fear, self-loathing, or pain. Or guilt, Bella. You shouldn't still be feeling guilty over what happened to me."

"Yeah, okay." I didn't see that happening anytime soon, but I tried my best to hide that in my tone. "So, I hear that Scott is working with Leah." I felt the need to change the subject, but I wanted to keep talking to Angela. I really was a terrible friend for having let our relationship falter, and now that she was on the phone, I wanted to try to remedy that. As much as I could anyway.

"That's right. He seems to really be happy there. What about you? It's been forever since we've had anything approaching a lengthy conversation. What's going on in your life?"

I told her all about how I was still in touch with Leah and Emily-which was how I knew that Scott was working out of the same office as Leah-and about Edward. Only that I was in a serious relationship, though, not anything about how we met or the fact that his father hated the fact that I was seeing him. Talking with Angela was wonderful, and the conversation seemed to end much too soon.

Despite the fact that she seemed better now-at least well on the way to getting better-the very fact that she'd called brought back all the visions of what had happened that night. After I'd closed my phone, my arm dropped limply to my side. The old memories invaded every one of my senses. I vaguely noted a clattering sound, but didn't stop to think about it. With leaden feet, I made my way toward the closest seat I could find, which happened to be the dining room table. I laid my head on the table and sobbed.

**A/N**

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	23. Letting Go

**Hi, sorry we're a few days late updating, we know a few of you were really eager for this chapter, Katie your wait is over :)**

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**Happy reading, see ya at the bottom :)**

**Chapter 23 : Letting Go**

**EPOV**

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow, trying to block the early morning light that filtered in through the gap in the drapes. It was early, too fucking early, and I tried desperately to cling to the remnants of a wicked dream I'd been having involving Bella and a very sexy pair of thigh high leather boots. The sound of Bella's muffled voice coming from the living room dragged me further into consciousness and I wondered why the fuck she wasn't still in bed with me. _What the hell is she doing up this early? And who the fuck is she talking to? _

Giving up on any notion I had of getting back to sleep, I rolled over on to my back and yawned; rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I leaned up on one elbow and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Eight o'clock. I sighed and got up shambling into the bathroom to take a piss. _Who the hell calls you at this time on a Sunday morning? _I thought as I emptied my rather full bladder_. No one, unless it's an emergency or bad news._ That realization woke me up completely, and I quickly washed my hands before hurrying out of the bathroom to make sure everything was okay.

As I reached the bedroom door, I heard a muted clatter coming from the other side, followed by the sound of loud, pain filled sobs. I tore the door open and ran over to where Bella sat, head slumped on the dining table, her small frame wracked with giant sobs.

"Oh, God, baby, what's wrong?" I crouched down beside her and pulled her into my arms. She came easily into my embrace and flung her arms around my neck, sobbing uncontrollably into my bare chest. I held her shaking body tightly to me, stroking her hair and trying my best to soothe her. "Shush, Bella, it's okay, shhh, I've got you," I cooed into her hair over and over, all the while placing soft kisses against her forehead and rocking her in my arms

Bella's sobs eventually slowed and she pulled her face back slightly from my tear dampened chest. "I'm sorry," she snivelled, tears still cascading down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, don't apologize baby, just tell me what's wrong." I cupped her face gently in both hands, brushing her tears away with my thumbs and tilting her head back slightly to look into her eyes. "Has something happened, an accident or something? Is it your dad?" I asked, immediately fearing the worst given her father's profession. Bella shook her head, unable to speak coherently as more sobs wracked her little body. _Oh God, what if it wasn't an accident or some kind of emergency? What if something's wrong with Bella?_ "Baby, you're scaring me here. Is it you, are you… sick... or… some..."

"No! Oh, God, Edward, I didn't mean to frighten you," Bella cried, a fresh wave of tears spilling down her already tear soaked cheeks. "I... I'm fine. Nothing's happened to anyone. I'm so sorry I worried you. Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry." She buried her face back into my chest and clung to me as she cried, mumbling over and over that she was sorry.

I rose from my crouched position on the floor scooping Bella up into my arms and moved over to the coach, settling her down in my lap, my arms wrapped tightly around her. "It's alright, baby, it's okay. Don't worry about me, Bella. You have nothing to be sorry for. Just talk to me, Bella. What's got you so upset, baby?" I questioned gently, then remembering her talking to someone earlier on the phone I added, "Who's upset you, Bella? Did someone say something to you, baby? Tell me, please. If someone's said something to hurt you I'll k…"

"No, it's nothing like that. No one's said anything. It's me, it's all my fault. I'm a horrible person, Edward. I… I… could have stopped him but I didn't and n... now I can't even be her friend because it's all my fault," Bella wailed before collapsing against me, babbling incoherently as she sobbed into my neck.

Knowing I wouldn't get any sense out of her until she calmed down, I just held her while she cried, stroking her hair, back, and shoulders, trying my best to soothe and comfort her. After what felt like an eternity, her sobs turned to whimpers, her body stopped shaking, and her tears ceased. "Bella, I hate seeing you upset like this. Please tell me what happened, sweetheart. You might feel better if you talk to someone. Let me be there for you, baby. Please."

Bella bit her lip and looked up at me thoughtfully, her watery, red-rimmed eyes staring into mine for a few moments before she nodded and pulled out of my embrace. "I will, just give me a few minutes to clean myself up, okay?"

I nodded and smiled at her. "Sure, you go freshen up and I'll make us a pot of coffee." Bella made her way into the bathroom as I headed for the kitchen, relieved that she'd stopped crying and calmed down somewhat, but fucking determined to find out who the hell had called her this morning and caused her breakdown.

After putting on a pot of coffee, I paced up and down the small kitchen plotting the demise of whoever had called and upset my girl. I fucking hated seeing Bella upset and blaming herself for some shit that probably wasn't her fault. It was so fucking frustrating to hear her beat herself up like that, especially after she'd been so confident lately. Sure, she still had issues but she'd come a long way and I wasn't going to let some fuck undermine all the progress she'd made.

Sighing in frustration, I headed for the dining table to retrieve my cigarettes. I'd cut back a lot lately and only really smoked when I was having a few beers or when I was stressed out. As I lit up and made my way to the window seat by my piano, I noticed Bella's cell phone lying on the floor. Guessing that the clatter I'd heard earlier was Bella's phone hitting the hardwood floor, I picked it up and inspected it for any damage. The battery had come loose, but apart from that, and a slight scuff mark on the back, it looked okay; sliding the battery back into place I switched it on to make sure it still worked. After confirming it powered up okay, I set it on top of the piano, cracked open the window, and settled down to finish my smoke.

I was halfway down my cigarette when Bella's phone rang. Thinking it could be the same fuck who'd rang earlier and upset Bella, I grabbed the phone, fully intent on giving whoever it was a piece of my mind. I was sadly denied the satisfaction of balling someone out, though, because it wasn't a phone call at all. It was Bella's alarm going off, reminding us that we were expected at Emmett's for brunch at ten o'clock this morning. _Shit! I completely forgot about that. _

Figuring that Bella wasn't in any condition to attend brunch and wanting to give her the opportunity to talk about what had upset her, I discarded my cigarette and used Bella's phone to call Em and cancel.

"You didn't have to do that, Edward," Bella said making her way back into the living room - freshly showered and dressed in a pair of yoga pants and one of my old college t-shirts - as I ended the call after telling Em I had an upset stomach and didn't feel up to brunch. "I don't want you lying to your brother because of me. You could have gone without me."

"It's fine, baby. I'd much rather be here for you, and besides Alice and Jazz are going to be there." I walked over to Bella and slipped my arms around her waist, chuckling evilly at my next words. "And those two deserve to have to explain things to Emmett without my support." Bella nodded and gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Now, go sit down and I'll pour us both a coffee. You want any breakfast?"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry," she replied, settling herself on the couch.

Once I'd fixed us both a cup of coffee and grabbed a few blueberry muffins from the cupboard, in case Bella changed her mind, I sat next to her on the couch and slipped an arm around her shoulders. "You ready to talk, baby?" I asked as she snuggled into my side, clutching her coffee mug tightly in both hands. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but you might feel better if you get it all off your chest."

"Yeah, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. It's time you knew about all this stuff. I know about your past, you deserve to know more about mine." Bella took a large drink from her mug before setting it down on the coffee table with a sigh. I knew this was going to be hard for her so I pulled her onto my lap and held her as she talked.

Bella explained that it was one of her best her friends from college, Angela Weber - whom she'd met during an exchange student program in London sophomore year and who'd lived with her, Emily, and Leah in an off campus apartment on their return to the States - that had called that morning and had got her thinking about what happened back in college. She stared at our joined hands, which were nestled in her lap, and played with my fingers as she spoke about their junior year.

"I started dating this guy named James who was in my art class. He'd just transferred from UCLA and didn't know many people. He lived alone, off campus, in a rather expensive apartment that his parents paid for. He was really sweet and attentive when we first started dating, and we spent every moment we could together. After a while, though, he became really possessive and controlling. I didn't see it happening at the time, but looking back I can see that his behavior wasn't healthy. He'd complain about me hanging around with my friends or going out clubbing; he also started having issues about the clothes I wore, saying my skirts were too short or my tops too revealing. He'd get really jealous if I as much as talked to another guy and he began showing up at places when I went out, claiming it was a coincidence or that he'd missed me and just wanted to make sure I got home safe_." So that's why she'd all but asked my permission to go out Friday night. _"I should have known that something was wrong, but I just thought it was sweet and that he loved me. But it wasn't love, it was obsession. And I found out later that I wasn't the only one that James had become obsessed with."

I clenched the fist of my free hand and gritted my teeth, angry as hell at Bella being treated that way by some asshole. _An asshole who'll be needing plastic surgery to put his face back together if he ever crosses my path._ Bella's grasp on my hand became tighter, and she sniffed back a few tears as she continued.

"My friends tried to warn me about James, but I didn't listen. Leah had never liked him and thought he was creepy. Emily and Angela never said much, but I knew they felt the same way. I had suspicions myself that something wasn't right, but I just brushed them aside and tried my best to please him. I know now that our sexual relationship wasn't normal either. James had an extremely high sex drive, and while he never forced me or anything, he'd become really cranky if I wasn't in the mood. He'd say I didn't love him enough or accuse me of cheating. Sometimes he'd get really angry and say that if I wasn't such a cold, dead fish in bed that he'd be more satisfied and wouldn't need sex so much. Of course after the things Jacob had said to me, like a fool I believed him and blamed myself." _Jesus fucking Christ, no wonder Bella had issues regarding her sexual confidence with dickheads like that telling her such bullshit. _

"I tried so hard to be better for him, to do the things he wanted me to, but I still wasn't enough for him." Bella's voice cracked as she said that and tears began to trickle down her cheeks. She swiped angrily at her tears with back of her hand and took a deep breath before continuing. "We'd been studying sexual disorders in psychology and I recognized some of the warning signs of sexual addiction in James' behavior and toyed with the idea of mentioning it, _hypothetically_, to my professor and getting his opinion, but I was too embarrassed. Two weeks later James sexually assaulted Angela in our apartment," Bella sobbed, her words becoming garbled and hard to decipher as she relived the disturbing memories. "And if Leah h... h... hadn't have come home when she d... did and pulled him off of her he w... would have raped her. Angela q... quit school and moved back h... home two months later because she didn't f... feel safe any more. H... h... he ruined her life, Edward, and it could have been avoided if only I'd said something. She was my b... b... best friend and my boyfriend attacked her and n... now I can't even be a decent friend to her because I feel so bloody guilty. It was my fault. All. My. Fault."

Bella collapsed against me, shaking uncontrollably as violent sobs wracked her small frame, and she cried her heart out in my arms. I crushed her desperately to my chest as a rage the likes of which I'd never felt before swept through me. I knew in that moment that if I ever got my hands on the man who'd caused my girl all this pain that he'd be one sorry motherfucker. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would literally kill that bastard for what he'd done to Bella and her friend.

Once Bella had had a good cry and calmed down, I tried to reassure her that what happened to Angela wasn't her fault. "Bella, there's no way that you, or anyone else, could have known what James was capable of. You can't hold yourself responsible for another person's actions. You shouldn't blame yourself for what that sick fuck did."

"I know that, Edward, but I can't help feeling guilty for not acting when I suspected he had a problem. After James was arrested, the police found out that he'd been accused of stalking a girl at UCLA. That's why he transferred: to get away from what happened there. His parents were really wealthy and his dad persuaded the girl involved to drop the charges. Basically, she was paid off. By the time James stood trial, there were four girls who testified to having been harassed by him in the past. We also found out that he'd cheated on me with several girls and had frequented prostitutes. A psychologist diagnosed him as having a sexual addiction, and part of the sentence he received was to get counseling and treatment for his disorder. If he'd received such counseling and treatment earlier, his problem wouldn't have escalated."

"Bella, even if you'd said something to your professor, there's no guarantee that he would have gotten the help he needed. At least the bastard is paying for what he did. Well, I fucking hope he's still locked up because if that sick fuck came anywhere near you, I swear to fucking God I'd…"

"He's not in prison, Edward. He's dead. James was killed in a prison brawl twelve months into his sentence. Yet another thing that could have been avoided if only I'd voiced my suspicions."

"Bella, you can't know for certain how things would have turned out. You have to stop blaming yourself for what he did." _If you ask me, that pervert got what he fucking deserved_, I thought, relieved that Bella and her friend didn't have to worry about the sick fuck being released, but I wasn't about to voice my opinion on that matter. "You have to let go of this guilt you're carrying; I'm sure your friend doesn't blame you for what happened."

"You're right, she doesn't. And part of me knows that even if I'd spoken up, things could have still turned out the same. But I can't help thinking 'what if' and feeling that I've let Angela down. She was my best friend, and now we hardly ever speak. Not only did I bring James into her life in the first place, but I've been a lousy friend since. I don't call her because it just reminds me of what I did. I feel so guilty for not being there for her."

"Bella, you're not the only one in the friendship, you know. Angela let your friendship slip too. Maybe some distance from you guys was what she needed to help her move on. Have you ever wondered why she doesn't keep in touch more? It's got to be painful to be reminded of what he did to her. I think that by giving her some space and letting her contact you, you probably did her a favor. Bella, the best thing you can do is let go of the guilt and move on. If you don't, then that bastard has won. He'll have the control over you that he wanted."

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing heavily. "I know you're right, Edward, it's just hard, you know? I can't help the way I feel sometimes when I'm reminded of what happened. _Rationally_, I know I wasn't to blame... but it's not always easy to see things rationally." She kissed my lips tenderly and snuggled into my neck, hugging me tightly. "Thank you for listening to me and for understanding. I feel so much better now that I've unloaded all that after so long."

"You don't have to thank me, baby. I just don't want to ever see you so upset again. You and Angela owe it to yourselves not to let what that bastard did affect your lives any longer." I kissed her forehead and gave her a quick squeeze before standing up with her in my arms and setting her on her feet. "And with that in mind, how about we go for a ride on the bike? Clear your head a little, eh? It's a lovely day out there; we could stop for lunch at that new seafood place."

"I think that's a brilliant idea. Some fresh air and time to put everything into perspective would be wonderful right now."

I grinned at her and gave her one last kiss before heading into the bedroom to get dressed, determined to put a smile back on my girl's face.

-x-

The next week flew by. I was kept busy working on the movie score and a few more compositions for other projects that had been passed my way. Bella seemed much happy after her emotional outpouring and had even called Angela to see if she wanted to meet up when she came to visit her brother. We spent our evenings snuggled up on the couch watching old movies or talking for hours about every subject under the sun. Bella stayed over every night, and when I fell asleep with her in my arms each night, I wondered what I'd ever done without her. In short life was good. The only cloud on my horizon was the lunch date we were now attending.

Mom had called on Wednesday evening inviting me and Bella to lunch on Saturday. She was in the city to meet with one of her interior design clients and wanted to see us both before returning to Forks. And to be honest, I was fucking dreading it. It wasn't that I didn't want to see my mom, it was just that I knew she'd want to discuss my father and what happened at my birthday dinner. I couldn't stand to have her make excuses for him again and apologize on his behalf. I suspected that this was the real reason she invited us to lunch, to avoid a scene. She knew I wouldn't make a fuss in a public place and would have no choice but to hear her out.

My suspicions were confirmed as soon as we'd finished our main course. "Have you made an appointment with the lawyers yet, Edward? Your father said he'd arranged for the release of your trust fund and was just waiting for you to sign the papers," Mom said nonchalantly, taking a sip of her wine.

"No, and I have no intention of doing so. He's not going to buy himself out of apologizing this time," I retorted adamantly.

Mom sighed and placed her glass on the table before reaching for my hand. "Look, sweetie, I know the way your father handled things on your birthday hurt your feelings, but that's _your _money. It's for your future; your grandfather wanted you to have it and Carlisle had no right to use it to manipulate you. Your father was just concerned about your lifestyle. No matter how misguided his actions were, he only had your best interests at heart." I went to speak but she shushed me with a raise of her hand and one of those looks that only a mother can pull off that lets you know to keep your mouth shut or else. "He was wrong to react the way he did to your relationship with Bella, but again, he was only looking out for her. I know he regrets judging you so harshly and for thinking you capable of such a thing."

_Yeah right, if he regretted it so much why isn't he the one here explaining instead of her?_

"Your father loves you very much, Edward, and he just wants to make things right. He's actually very pleased you've met someone."

"Yeah, well he's got a funny way of showing it," I mumbled into my wine glass and took a big swig before looking my mother straight in the eyes. "Look, Mom, it's bad enough that he thought I was shallow enough to enter a relationship with someone just to get my hands on that money, but now he doesn't even deem me worthy of an apology. It's pretty clear to me what my father thinks of me and to be honest, I'm past caring. Now can we drop it? I'm not touching that money and that's final." Just as my mother was about to speak again my phone rang. I pulled it out quickly and looked at the caller ID. "I'm sorry but I have to take this call; it's the producer of the movie. Order dessert, and I'll be back as soon as possible." Flipping my phone open, I walked out of the restaurant as quickly as I could. "Jazz, I'll have to call you back later." I snapped the phone closed and leaned against the wall outside, quickly lighting a cigarette.

I felt guilty lying to Mom about the call, and for leaving Bella like that, but I'd just had to get out of there. I couldn't listen to her defend that asshole any longer. As far as I was concerned, the subject was well and truly closed.

**A/N**

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	24. Fathering the Blame

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**Over to Bella. See ya at the bottom.**

**Chapter 24: Fathering the Blame**

**BPOV**

My eyes darted back and forth between Edward and his mother the whole time they were talking. Although, _arguing _might be a better word for what they were doing. It was painful to watch. I totally understood where Edward was coming from, though; I'd seen the way Carlisle treated him first hand on his birthday. Who could blame Edward for the way he reacted to his father when his father didn't even think showing up for his son's birthday dinner was something worthy of his time?

When Edward's phone rang and he said it was the movie producer so he needed to take the call, my heart jumped to my throat. _He's going to leave me alone with his mother? _ To be perfectly honest, I felt a little sorry for Esme and embarrassed at Edward's behavior. I barely knew the woman, but even I could tell how much this conflict between her husband and son was wearing on her. Even so, I still felt uncomfortable being left to either defend Edward or to apologize for his actions. _Maybe it'll just be an awkward silence, _I thought sarcastically._ Hopefully Edward can get the information he needs quickly from the producer and get back here right away._

As soon as Edward had disappeared around the corner, my hopes for avoiding an uncomfortable conversation were dashed when Esme reached tentatively across the table and took my hands in hers. "Can I speak honestly with you, Bella?"

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, I blinked and swallowed thickly. "Um, sure." I freed one hand so that I could grab my glass and take a drink of water—my throat was suddenly parched.

"I've been in the middle of this feud between them for years, and I hate it. I wish there was a way to get them over this without involving you, but I'm not sure there is."

"Er… involving me?" I squeaked out.

"You're very close to my son, Bella, and I know that you know and respect my husband, too."

"I respect him as a doctor, but after seeing the way he acted towards Edward, I'm not sure I respect him as a person." I hoped my face showed sympathy in the light of those harsh words.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you based on what you know. You're getting just one side of the story, though, Bella. Will you let me give you an unbiased perspective on what happened?"

"It's all based on a single event?"

"Not exactly, no. Let me explain. Please," she said.

"Okay." I took another drink of my water.

"Thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper, and then she took a deep breath and started talking in earnest. "I know it's no excuse, but Carlisle didn't have a good relationship with his father when he was growing up. He's done the best he knows how to with our children, but sometimes the best he knows how isn't good enough. Obviously. He loves all three of them, and he's regretful over this rift that's occurred between him and Edward."

I cocked my head to the side, trying to make sense of that. "He didn't seem like he gave a damn about Edward when he saw me at the party and realized that I was with Edward, though."

"That's because he cares about _you, _Bella. He knows that his past actions have been part of what drove Edward to become the way he did, and he takes responsibility for that. But the fact remains that Edward hasn't made the best decisions in his life, especially the last four or five years. We all know what Edward's like—what he _was _like before he met you, that is—and the last thing Carlisle wanted was to see you get hurt. Especially since he knew that he'd be at least partially to blame."

"No matter what happens between Edward and me, I'd never blame Carlisle." Even as the words came out of my mouth, I wasn't sure I believed them. Esme hadn't said anything yet to make me take Carlisle's side over Edward's.

Whether she didn't recognize the hesitancy or just chose not to comment on it, I didn't know. In either case, she kept talking. "To get the complete picture, we need to talk about the past. Forgive me for all the history you're about to get, Bella, but I think it's important in order to understand the current dynamic.

"Emmett never craved Carlisle's approval as much as Edward did. I'm not saying either boy was right or wrong, it's just the way their personalities developed. Emmett was always a very independent child; he knew what he wanted to do, and so long as he got to do it, he was happy. He was more interested in playing the sports than in having us there to cheer him on in his games. He's always had a lot of natural confidence and charisma and never really showed much in the way of emotional depth."

My eyes widened in horror; what an awful thing to say about someone: that they lacked emotional depth.

In response to my silent accusation, Esme quickly added, "I don't mean that the way it sounds. It's just that Emmett was always happy. He never went through that brooding, rebellious teenager stage. Because of his easygoing personality, it was easy for Carlisle to get along with him. There was very little work involved for their relationship to flourish.

"Now let's take Alice. She's your typical 'Daddy's little girl.' Not to say that Carlisle didn't love both Emmett and Edward, but he was ecstatic to have a daughter. You'll find that most men are." She winks at me. "But even beyond her just being a girl, Alice was always even more outgoing than Emmett. My mother used to call her 'Velcro.' Alice would attach herself to anyone who showed any sort of kindness to her. In fact, it was a bit of a challenge to teach her the 'don't talk to strangers' philosophy, because she was so naturally trusting of everyone. And she always knew what she wanted to do with her life. From the time she was six, all she ever talked about was wanting to make clothes. She learned to sew at eleven and by thirteen was making her own clothes for school from patterns. By sixteen, she was designing her own patterns, and she's never looked back. Alice never lets anything stand in the way of what she wants, and that's a character trait that Carlisle appreciates, whether in his children, colleagues, or anyone else he comes into contact with on a day-to-day basis.

"Edward was always the complete opposite of his siblings. He was quiet and contemplative, and as a young child, he idolized his father. You see, Bella, their relationship wasn't always strained. Carlisle recognized Edward's innate intelligence. While Alice was designing clothes at six, Edward at the same age was playing doctor. We bought him a real—though miniature—stethoscope, and he never went anywhere without it. When Carlisle was home, Edward would always ask him to 'play doctor.' They'd listen to his teddy bears' heartbeats, and Carlisle and Edward were the ones to repair all the ripped stitches on all three kids' stuffed animals. It was their special thing; they used to call it 'surgery.' Carlisle would even bring home the blue latex gloves and face masks for the procedure."

I smiled, imagining a six-year-old, bronze-haired boy and his father fixing all the toys in the house.

"Ironically, it was that same innate intelligence that ended up driving them apart." She looked at me with tears gleaming in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

"Because—in Carlisle's eyes—Edward showed the most promise of doing something 'serious' with his life, he was pushed the hardest. I don't think Carlisle ever intended for things to progress as far as they have; he honestly thought he was doing Edward a favor by pushing him to excel. While B's and even the occasional C were acceptable grades for Emmett and Alice, Edward was expected to get A's. And Edward took the advanced courses, too. He worked hard to prove himself to his father."

And in those five little words, I immediately saw the problem. "He had to prove himself?"

"He thought he did," she corrected. "Carlisle thought he was pushing Edward to excel, but the way Edward saw it, he was being pushed because he wasn't quite good enough."

I lifted one hand to my mouth in quiet shock.

"That's right," Esme said, reading in my expression that I'd worked it out. "The whole feud is essentially based on what amounts to a misunderstanding." Silent tears slid down her cheeks.

"How did it get so bad then?" I murmur mostly to myself.

"There were two major events in Edward's life that brought us to where we are now. The first was Edward's first ever piano recital when he was fourteen. He'd been taking lessons for about a year and was so excited that he was finally able to play for a crowd. It wasn't the crowd that he was anxious to play for though; it was his father. You see, by that point, Edward's interests were starting to shift away from medicine and toward music. He was convinced that his father was disappointed in that shift. So he thought that if Carlisle could just hear him play in a recital environment, he'd be able to prove himself."

"What happened?"

"Carlisle wasn't the head of his department yet at that point, so when his boss told him that there was a conference he had to go to, he didn't have a choice."

"Surely Edward understood that, though."

"He was a typical fourteen-year-old boy; he heard 'can't come' and that was the end of it."

My heart hurt for this younger version of the man I loved, desperately trying to seek his father's approval.

"His senior year, something happened. He's never shared the details with me, and I won't ever pressure him to, but something happened to cause him to pull away from us even further."

_That must be the situation with the girl who stole his virginity—Tanya._

"The change was gradual, but as his mother, I noticed it. He went from constantly trying to earn his father's approval to simply not caring. And that brings us to the second major event that Carlisle missed in Edward's life: his high school graduation. It was another instance of things not being in his control, though. There was a huge accident that afternoon, and the hospital was overflowing with victims. I don't remember the details, only that every single doctor in the county was called in to deal with it."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just sat quietly.

"The thing Edward forgets is that Carlisle didn't miss _everything_, though. He missed a few events, yes, but it was that way with all three kids. But because of Edward's personality, only the misses stand out in his mind. And each one of them was taken personally when they weren't actually Carlisle singling him out. In truth, Carlisle's immensely proud of the man Edward's become."

"Really?" I didn't mean to sound surprised, but the Carlisle I saw in June was anything but proud of Edward.

"Oh, yes. He was disappointed when Edward dropped out of medical school, but it was inevitable. The only reason Edward went in the first place was to try to gain favor with his father again, but his heart wasn't in it. Can I tell you a secret, Bella?"

It struck me as ironic that she asked _now _to share a secret; it felt like everything she'd told me thus far had been intimate. Regardless, I agreed.

"Carlisle keeps a CD of Edward's piano playing in his car. I know he listens to it frequently."

"Why is that a secret?" I gasp. "I think if Edward knew that, it would go a long way toward proving that his father isn't ashamed of him."

"I'm afraid I have to disagree with that," she said. "I suspect Edward would come up with some sort of excuse to make it seem like Carlisle's just looking for a way to criticize him."

I sighed. Of course she was right. "Okay. I appreciate that you needed to get all this off your chest, but is there a reason you've shared with me here today?"

"Actually, yes. I'd like you to talk to Edward. Try to convince him to at least talk to his father."

"What makes you think he'll listen to me?" I questioned.

Her eyes lit up. "Because he loves you, Bella."

I froze. "Wh-what?"

"I know my son better than anyone. And I can tell. He may not know it yet, but Edward's in love with you."

I felt a blush creep up my neck and into my face, and I smiled shyly at Esme. _Can Edward really be in love with me? I knew I'd fallen for him, but it would be impossible for any girl not to. _Despite my doubts, insecurities, and any number of reasons I could come up with for Edward Cullen not to love me, I felt a flutter of emotion at the prospect-an emotion I hadn't dared to to let myself feel for so long. Hope.

-x-

I had no freakin' clue how I was going to approach Edward about talking to his dad. The only thing I knew for sure was that it was going to be an uphill battle to convince him to do so. At the same time, after hearing Carlisle's side through Esme, I was sure that Edward needed to do just that. I still didn't blame him for not getting along with his father all this time, but it was time to bury the hatchet so to speak.

I pursed my lips in thought. But before I'd come up with a single idea of how to approach the topic, the phone on my desk rang. "Yes?"

"Dr. Swan, it's Jane. Mr. Quinn just called and canceled his appointment for today."

"Thank you, Jane." Replacing the receiver in the cradle, I looked at my schedule. Mr. Quinn was my last appointment, so it looked like there wasn't really any reason for me to stay. Just to be sure, I dialed Victoria's extension.

"Of course you can go, Bella. If all your paperwork is up to date and you don't have any patients for the rest of the day, I don't have a problem with you going early."

"Thank you, Victoria."

Less than ten minutes later, I was in my car driving toward Edward's apartment. I wasn't sure I was ready to go there yet, though. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel at a red light, trying to figure out what to do. _You should call Charlie. _The thought came out of nowhere, and it surprised me. But with Esme's revelation that she thought Edward was in love with me, it seemed like an okay time to finally let my dad know about my relationship. I'd been terrified of his reaction, but it was starting to seem like Edward and I were in things for the long haul, so I made an abrupt decision to go to my apartment instead so that I could talk to my dad before I went to talk to Edward about speaking to his. Maybe I could use the fact that I'd just had a chat with Charlie to convince him to talk to Carlisle. Lead by example.

When I entered my apartment, I paced the length of the living room for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to call my dad. _Just do it! _that snarky voice in my head jeered. I sighed, knowing that was the best course of action. 'Just do it.' "Easier said than done," I said out loud to no one. But I dialed my father's phone number all the same.

"Bells! What a nice surprise," he answered. "Long time, no talk."

"I know, Dad. I'm sorry about that. How've you been?"

"Good, good. Nothing new to report. How about you?"

His phrasing was interesting; he technically didn't ask how I was doing, but rather if I had anything new to report. I frowned and was glad this wasn't a video call. I bounced from one foot to the other, not quite ready to answer his question yet.

"You still there, Bells?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm here."

"Okay. Good. Well, I don't mean to imply that I don't want to talk to you, because I do, but was there a specific reason you called?"

_It's now or never._

_Never works for me._

_Let me rephrase: it's now!_

"Actually, Dad, there is. Would you mind if I brought someone with me when I come up for my birthday?"

I could practically hear crickets chirping on the other end of the line. After what seemed like a century, he cleared his throat gruffly. "What kind of 'someone'?"

"I've been dating someone, Dad. He's a really great guy, and I think you'd like him. Although, you already know him. Kind of."

"Who is he?" My dad's voice was harsh. It was a little unnerving, but understandable at the same time. For one, he was my dad; it was his duty to protect me. For another, it was common knowledge between the two of us that I didn't have the best record with boyfriends.

"Um, Edward Cullen?" It came out like a question even though I didn't mean for it to.

"Cullen? As in Carlisle's son? The one who dropped out of med school?"

I took a deep breath. I knew that my father was good friends with Carlisle, and that made me nervous as to what he may have heard about Edward's past… activities. "Yes."

"Is that a good idea, Bella? I mean, I don't know the kid personally, but he's got quite a reputation up here for being a bit of a ladies' man."

I bristled at the accusation. The fact that it was true—_was _being the operative word—didn't matter. "He's not like that anymore, Dad. He's…" I trailed off, trying to come up with words that appropriately described just how much Edward had changed and how much he meant to me. "He's changed. And I really like him, Dad. A lot." I realized that I hadn't really said much, but I hoped I'd been emphatic enough to make him understand.

Charlie grunted noncommittally.

I frowned.

Before I could come up with another argument in Edward's favor, my dad spoke. "You must be telling the truth about that if you're willing to submit him to the Grand Inquisition I'm going to put him through."

I could feel the blood drain from my face. "Gr-grand inquisition?"

"Oh, yes. Bring him up here, Bella. The more I think about it, the more I can't wait to meet him." It felt like there was an inherent threat in his voice, but that could've just been my insecurities talking. I wasn't sure. "I have to see for myself just how much he's 'changed.'"

"Dad! Please promise me you'll be nice to him."

"If he's not the same man I've heard about from Carlisle then you have nothing to worry about, Bella."

That was probably meant to be more ominous than the 'I can't wait to meet him' line, but it wasn't; I knew that Edward had changed for the better, and I was confident that my father would see that when he met him. "Okay," I said. "You're right. I still need to talk to him about this, but I'll call you again when it gets closer to time, okay? For now, though, I've got to go, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, Bella. You know that, right? And that I'm just looking out for you?"

"Yeah, Dad. I know."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

With that conversation out of the way, I hurried to my room to pack up an extra set of work clothes for tomorrow before going back to Edward's. _Although, after talking to him about his father, I could very well be spending the night here._

-x-

Since I'd returned Alice's keys already, I called Edward while I was driving from my house to his place to let him know I was coming. It was more reliable than ringing the buzzer and hoping he'd hear it over the piano playing he was undoubtedly doing. Once I'd finished that call, I spent the rest of the drive steeling myself for the conversation I knew I had to have with Edward tonight. I hadn't even said anything to him yet, and I felt like I was betraying him just by asking him to meet with his father. But if what Esme had said was the truth, it would be doing the two of them a disservice to not get them back together. Edward needed his father just as surely as I needed mine.

I pulled up to the curb and smiled when I saw that not only had Edward left the door unlocked for me, but he was standing outside waiting. I climbed out of the car and met him on the sidewalk, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

"Mm, hi," he mumbled.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

After another kiss, we made our way inside. My heart was pounding in fear of what I had to do, but I knew I was ready. I hoped.

"I thought we could fix dinner together tonight. Unless you have other plans?" Edward said as we climbed the stairs.

"No, working together in the kitchen sounds perfect." It would put us in close proximity to each other, and in an environment we were both comfortable in. I'd just have to make sure to do all chopping myself. The last thing I wanted was Edward with a sharp knife after I told him I thought he should take a meeting with his dad.

He seemed to be as deeply in thought as I was; we worked silently for several minutes before I finally had the courage to speak up. I cleared my throat and made sure he didn't have anything dangerous at hand, then said, "Um, Edward?"

"Hm?" he mumbled, stirring the sauce on the stovetop.

"I had an interesting talk with your mother while you were talking to the movie producer." That wasn't a lie, and it would make for a smooth segue into the real point of the conversation.

"That's great. What about?"

_Wow. I expected a smooth transition, but not necessarily an instant one. Oh, well, here we go. _"Um, about your father, actually."

He visibly stiffened and his hand froze mid-stir. "Oh."

"I know you probably don't want to hear this—"

"You're right. I don't." His voice was cold and hard.

I continued anyway. "But I think you guys could make up pretty easily if you just talked to each other. Like, really talked, not just yelled at each other."

"No fucking way." He didn't leave any room for argument, but I didn't care.

"Why not, Edward?"

He slammed the wooden spoon into the pan, splattering teriyaki sauce all over the white stovetop. "Because I don't need him. He fucking hates me, Bella, and I don't need that in my life. God! You saw him at my birthday. He didn't give a shit about me except to complain about the way I was living my life. Which, as you may recall, had already changed for the better by that point. But he's not willing to look beyond what he thinks he fucking knows about me. And I'm frankly not interested in proving myself any longer. I'd rather just write him off as a lost cause than deal with him. Everyone's happier that way."

"You don't mean that." I moved to stand right in front of him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Yes, I do." He glared down at me.

"You won't even talk to him for me?"

"Oh, no you don't. You used up your 'do it for me card' with Alice and Jazz." His eyes were hard as stone, and he crossed his arms over his chest, not returning my embrace.

As much as I wanted him to have a healthy relationship with his father—after having learned that it was all just a misunderstanding of epic proportions—I wasn't sure I wanted to make him mad at me over it. I'd just have to call Esme and tell her that I'd failed. I'd tried and failed. "You're right. I'm sorry. You know what's best for you, so I'll drop it." _For now._

"Thank you." He thawed enough to place his arms stiffly around me and drop a kiss on the top of my head.

"I need to make a quick phone call. Will you be okay with the food for a few minutes?"

He smirked at me, and I was glad to see that he seemed to be at least somewhat back to normal. "Yeah, I think I can handle it."

I planted a quick kiss on his chest and stepped out of his arms. I darted out the door and down the stairs, not taking my phone out of my pocket until I was outside. I didn't want Edward to hear my phone call.

"Hello?" a gentle, melodic voice answered after only two rings.

"Hi, Esme? It's Bella."

"Bella! Hi! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

I sighed, feeling like an utter failure when I heard the hope in her voice. "I'm sorry, Esme. He's not interested. I can't get him to even consider the idea."

She sighed in return. "It's okay, Bella. I hoped he'd listen to you, but I'm not surprised that he didn't."

"Did you have any luck convincing Carlisle to talk to Edward?"

"Unfortunately not; he's just as stubborn as his son, if not more."

"So, I guess that's it then, huh?"

"Not necessarily. How do you feel about taking matters into our own hands, Bella?"

**Thanks for reading. Now hit review and let us know what you thought. Is Carlisle as bad as a lot of you thought? Are you warming up to him yet or do you still hate him? Whatever your feelings or points of view we'd love to hear them. So hit the button and make us smile. **

**Until next time, take care and enjoy BD, one week to go until headboard breakage ;P**


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